Zena,

[Guest guest]

Honey just pour it ALL out. I do understand about wanting to care for your DADBut you must come first. Talk with his Dr. they may be able to keep him in hospital a few extra days. I wish I were there to hold you and let you have a good cry. THEN we would make a few plans for fun things to do. Always have something just ahead-- a goal-- Now that New Years has past my next in Feb. 16 th our 40th wedding anniversary. Then ON TO SAN ANTONIO. I'm excited about the possibility of that trip.  So try to make plans. You are not going to die this day or tomorrow.. so get busy and live this one.. ok.. Love you and I'm praying for you to receive the help you need. Love and Prayers, Peggy  ipf 6/04 Florida"Worry looks around, Sorry looks back, Faith looks up." I'm feeling scared, guilty, worried, downI hate what is happening to meI hate that there is no cureI hate that they can't give me a prognosisI hate having to worry about every little thing.I hate that I can't just get on an do stuffI hate the idea that I might not see my baby grow up.I hate that she's got to live life with a mum that isn't firing on all cylinders.I hate that I have to curtail one of my hobbies.I hate that I have to plan going out so that I don't run out of O2I've tried to talk to Rob, but I end up 'pulling my self together' and saying 'don't mind me, I'm fine really'  And I'm doing this not to upset him too much.  I don't know if he really knows the full implications of PF, and I don't know how to bring it up.But I'm not Ok right now.I want to scream and shout and rage at the unfairness of it all (except that I'd get too out of breath  I can't even have a damn good laugh at anything as it makes me cough too much  )My father is having a second op following problems with a hip replacement, and I was his main carer, (frankly my brother is useless and selfish when it comes to looking after dad, happy to borrow dads car, but not so good at running errands) so I'm now worrying at how he's going to copeAnd to top everything I have a wisdom tooth causing me lots of problems, it started last night, so I won't get to a dentist until at least tomorrow and I need to see a doctor tomorrow as I'm starting to get a cough as well Right now, I've just had enough and I want to step out of my body for a little while and hop into someone elses while it get's on with it.