Tomorrow.............

January 1, 2008

Well tomorrow is the day to see the new lung doctor. I wonder what

he is like and what he will say. I wonder if he will have any

answers or if he will be like all the others. I truly try to go in

with the hopes that by some chance this will be the one who will find

out what is wrong with me, the one who will care enough to find the

answer, the one who wont get caught up in all the barriers that seem

to be standing in my way that he will look past them and dig to find

whats hiding there. I do that with hope because if I didnt have hope

I guess I wouldnt go to the appointment then.

Unlike all of you that even though you fight a beast of disease you

still get to know what you have! Now I am sure some of you if I

recall correctly have been in this boat before where you didnt know

what you had or what it is was just that its something and the

something is whats bothering you! Well its where I am its where I

seriously am at the point that maybe its just in my head I know some

of you say depression and anxiety goes along with this disease and as

I am sure with others too. But it isnt that I looked at that and kept

track of things and its not that. There is something going on and I

guess I just keep searching until I find it and I really have to hope

its not to late when that happens. So in the meantime I have kept a

list of all the symptoms I have had and all the things that have been

tried and today I will put it all together in hopes to some way be

able to present it to this doctor so he knows where I am coming

from.

My frustration is that no one is looking at me and seeing me seeing

that I am the one suffering, that sure they can order me to go take

this test or see this specialist and you cant get in for another

month or two, yet I am still the one who suffers. I am jealous of

some of you how you get to live such a full life right now, me always

feeling like crap I cant seem to maybe its sadness in what I used to

have and dont I dont know I just know that I hold onto a little hope

that one day one of these doctors is going to care enough to find the

answer.

Okay thats enough self wallowing for me today, I have shed my tears

for today I now have to pull it together to get the cleaning done and

some how figure out away to get all my new years resolutions

started. How is that for a new years day!

I wish you all a happy new years and thank each and everyone of you

for being here and what a great part of my daily living you are for

me!

Sandie

January 1, 2008

Sandie

Without my counselor I can't imagine how I ever would have been in

condition to face any of this. As to knowing there's something wrong

that no one could find, she's insisted for nearly two years that the

doctors were missing some physical problem. She was part of the

reason I would go back to neurologist and for second opinion and

would go to others when needed. So we both got frustrated but I had

support sharing it. Now we look back and wonder how much of other

things have been caused by this. How much of fatigue, lack of energy,

depression? And, I couldn't get started back on my exercise program

and couldn't figure out why. Well, that one we know now for sure. It

wasn't just that I was out of shape, I wasn't getting enough oxygen

to get on a treadmill or to walk. All I can say is keep fighting and

don't accept it until you get answers. Sometimes its so complicated,

but sometimes its the simple things they overlook. I imagine a 6

minute walk a year or 18 months earlier would have told them then on

me. Something that simple. Shouldn't that be part of any physical?

Certainly for anyone over 50. But, only after three extreme episodes

and me insisting there was something more than being out of shape did

he send me on the walk, still not believing, and as an afterthought

almost to a long exam and blood tests. When I returned and he was

shocked by the oximeter then it all started happening.

Maybe shedding tears is what feeds our determination to battle. If

you weren't crying today maybe you wouldn't be preparing all your

questions and preparing to insist and demand some answers tomorrow

and that your pain be seen. Remember today's tears and pain tomorrow

and use it to fuel your effort to drive them to figure it out.

>

> Well tomorrow is the day to see the new lung doctor. I wonder what

> he is like and what he will say. I wonder if he will have any

> answers or if he will be like all the others. I truly try to go in

> with the hopes that by some chance this will be the one who will

find

> out what is wrong with me, the one who will care enough to find the

> answer, the one who wont get caught up in all the barriers that

seem

> to be standing in my way that he will look past them and dig to

find

> whats hiding there. I do that with hope because if I didnt have

hope

> I guess I wouldnt go to the appointment then.

>

> Unlike all of you that even though you fight a beast of disease you

> still get to know what you have! Now I am sure some of you if I

> recall correctly have been in this boat before where you didnt know

> what you had or what it is was just that its something and the

> something is whats bothering you! Well its where I am its where I

> seriously am at the point that maybe its just in my head I know

some

> of you say depression and anxiety goes along with this disease and

as

> I am sure with others too. But it isnt that I looked at that and

kept

> track of things and its not that. There is something going on and

I

> guess I just keep searching until I find it and I really have to

hope

> its not to late when that happens. So in the meantime I have kept a

> list of all the symptoms I have had and all the things that have

been

> tried and today I will put it all together in hopes to some way be

> able to present it to this doctor so he knows where I am coming

> from.

>

> My frustration is that no one is looking at me and seeing me seeing

> that I am the one suffering, that sure they can order me to go take

> this test or see this specialist and you cant get in for another

> month or two, yet I am still the one who suffers. I am jealous of

> some of you how you get to live such a full life right now, me

always

> feeling like crap I cant seem to maybe its sadness in what I used

to

> have and dont I dont know I just know that I hold onto a little

hope

> that one day one of these doctors is going to care enough to find

the

> answer.

>

> Okay thats enough self wallowing for me today, I have shed my tears

> for today I now have to pull it together to get the cleaning done

and

> some how figure out away to get all my new years resolutions

> started. How is that for a new years day!

>

> I wish you all a happy new years and thank each and everyone of you

> for being here and what a great part of my daily living you are for

> me!

>

> Sandie

>

January 1, 2008

I really hope this one gives you the answers you are looking for Sandie xx

There is nothing worse than knowing that there is something wrong and not getting a diagnosis

Sending you much love and strength and hoping for a positive outcome

Love Ze xx>> Well tomorrow is the day to see the new lung doctor. I wonder what > he is like and what he will say. I wonder if he will have any > answers or if he will be like all the others. I truly try to go in > with the hopes that by some chance this will be the one who will find > out what is wrong with me, the one who will care enough to find the > answer, the one who wont get caught up in all the barriers that seem > to be standing in my way that he will look past them and dig to find > whats hiding there. I do that with hope because if I didnt have hope > I guess I wouldnt go to the appointment then. > > Unlike all of you that even though you fight a beast of disease you > still get to know what you have! Now I am sure some of you if I > recall correctly have been in this boat before where you didnt know > what you had or what it is was just that its something and the > something is whats bothering you! Well its where I am its where I > seriously am at the point that maybe its just in my head I know some > of you say depression and anxiety goes along with this disease and as > I am sure with others too. But it isnt that I looked at that and kept > track of things and its not that. There is something going on and I > guess I just keep searching until I find it and I really have to hope > its not to late when that happens. So in the meantime I have kept a > list of all the symptoms I have had and all the things that have been > tried and today I will put it all together in hopes to some way be > able to present it to this doctor so he knows where I am coming > from. > > My frustration is that no one is looking at me and seeing me seeing > that I am the one suffering, that sure they can order me to go take > this test or see this specialist and you cant get in for another > month or two, yet I am still the one who suffers. I am jealous of > some of you how you get to live such a full life right now, me always > feeling like crap I cant seem to maybe its sadness in what I used to > have and dont I dont know I just know that I hold onto a little hope > that one day one of these doctors is going to care enough to find the > answer. > > Okay thats enough self wallowing for me today, I have shed my tears > for today I now have to pull it together to get the cleaning done and > some how figure out away to get all my new years resolutions > started. How is that for a new years day! > > I wish you all a happy new years and thank each and everyone of you > for being here and what a great part of my daily living you are for > me!> > Sandie>

January 1, 2008

Sandie,

I Wish you All the Best tommorrow with the new dr and find all the answers you're looking for!

Irene Raynaud's Disease 09/07 PF 03/07 Canada

---- Original Message ----

To: Breathe-Support

Sent: Tue, 1 Jan 2008 2:22 pm

Subject: Re: Tomorrow.............

I really hope this one gives you the answers you are looking for Sandie xx

There is nothing worse than knowing that there is something wrong and not getting a diagnosis

Sending you much love and strength and hoping for a positive outcome

Love Ze xx

>

> Well tomorrow is the day to see the new lung doctor. I wonder what

> he is like and what he will say. I wonder if he will have any

> answers or if he will be like all the others. I truly try to go in

> with the hopes that by some chance this will be the one who will find

> out what is wrong with me, the one who will care enough to find the

> answer, the one who wont get caught up in all the barriers that seem

> to be standing in my way that he will look past them and dig to find

> whats hiding there. I do that with hope because if I didnt have hope

> I guess I wouldnt go to the appointment then.

>

> Unlike all of you that even though you fight a beast of disease you

> still get to know what you have! Now I am sure some of you if I

> recall correctly have been in this boat before where you didnt know

> what you had or what it is was just that its something and the

> something is whats bothering you! Well its where I am its where I

> seriously am at the point that maybe its just in my head I know some

> of you say depression and anxiety goes along with this disease and as

> I am sure with others too. But it isnt that I looked at that and kept

> track of things and its not that. There is something going on and I

> guess I just keep searching until I find it and I really have to hope

> its not to late when that happens. So in the meantime I have kept a

> list of all the symptoms I have had and all the things that have been

> tried and today I will put it all together in hopes to some way be

> able to present it to this doctor so he knows where I am coming

> from.

>

> My frustration is that no one is looking at me and seeing me seeing

> that I am the one suffering , that sure they can order me to go take

> this test or see this specialist and you cant get in for another

> month or two, yet I am still the one who suffers. I am jealous of

> some of you how you get to live such a full life right now, me always

> feeling like crap I cant seem to maybe its sadness in what I used to

> have and dont I dont know I just know that I hold onto a little hope

> that one day one of these doctors is going to care enough to find the

> answer.

>

> Okay thats enough self wallowing for me today, I have shed my tears

> for today I now have to pull it together to get the cleaning done and

> some how figure out away to get all my new years resolutions

> started. How is that for a new years day!

>

> I wish you all a happy new years and thank each and everyone of you

> for being here and what a great part of my daily living you are for

> me!

>

> Sandie

>

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January 1, 2008

Sandie, Good luck tomorrow. I hope you find some answers. Please keep us posted. Leanne

Never miss a thing. Make Yahoo your homepage.

January 1, 2008

Sandie, You got that out of your system

for now...I truly hope you feel less down!

I hope that the newest lung Dr. will be the right one and your

questions will finally be answered.

Don't worry about cleaning up...rest for tomorrow!

The mess won't mind waiting!

Z fibriotic NSIP/05

Z

fibriotic NSIP/o5/PA

And “mild”

PH/10/07 and Reynaud’s too!!

Potter,

reader,carousel lover and MomMom to

Darah

“I’m gonna

be iron like a lion in Zion” Bob Marley

stokh24761 wrote: