Strength from the Veterans, Strength from the New

[Guest guest]

I felt like such a newbie in hearing those talk a couple of days ago

about their posts in the number 100's and such. I've also tried but

not sure I ever can fully express the strength I gain, the personal

growth I experience, and the warmth I feel from those like Joyce,

Leanne, Gwynne, Peggy and others who have lived with this disease for

years now. Everyday, even those on which they speak few words, they

contribute to my life. Sometimes I feel like I'm taking so much from

them that I can never possibly repay, but then I remind myself they

don't ask for repayment.

But, I also want to express to those newer even than I or just

speaking out for the first times, how much they enrich the board and

in turn our lives too. The feel good story of yesterday to me was

Tina and Caleb-knowing early in the day the fight Tina was waging to

get out and by the end of the day the incredible time she'd spent

with such a wonderful son, a day she had to force herself to spend

and enjoy. It reminded me once again to make myself enjoy every

moment best as I can. I hadn't felt as good physically yesterday as

most days, but reading when she joined us last night at the party

made me get up anyway and do my time on the treadmill. I had to go

one level more on the oxygen than normal but I still did it.

There's Tammy who has shown incredible fortitude without help (well,

even with sabotage) from those around her to now go 8 or 9 days

without a cigarette. I smile each time she adds to it and just want

to cheer her.

There's the contribution by Geeta who has dealt with the disease

longer than most of us, but just has shared and hearing her push us

all to try yoga.

Sometimes its the smallest of things (well in this case not small as

its 4 ft tall) such as Sher's new friend Rosebud and just picturing

her hugging her bear.

We discuss our conditions seriously, we feel the pain of each other,

and then we go off the deep end and party. I'm sure later this week

i'll meet people who will ask what I did for New Years. Not sure how

exactly I describe it. I flew with a wonderful insane group to

Australia and spent it in a magical world of friendship and

entertainment.

Well, i'll put my New Years against any of theirs. In fact, I'll put

the days I share with a special group here against theirs. And, I

know i'll put my friends here ahead of theirs. I'm not going to rub

it in when speaking to them, but when it comes to my friends here I

guess I'm a bit snobbish even as I look at others outside and realize

their friendships, discussions, sharing are shallow compared to ours.

Now I'd prefer to have the best of both worlds, to know all of you

and yet all of us be healthy beyond imagination. But, I can't have

that. However, what I do get from my friends here is special beyond

words.