Re: thoughtless comments!

[Guest guest]

In a message dated 11/19/00 3:08:22 PM Central Standard Time,

sunflower6668@... writes:

<< Hi all,

I know exactly what you mean. As if by losing so much weight and

you " look good " it is supposed to mean more than feeling good. I am

going to try to go back to work this week part time. My boss is

wonderful. And his boss is great too. When I told him I would quit

before I leave them in a lurch-you know, if this thing gets so

disruptive or something-his response to me was-I could have cried- " We

are not going to abandon you. " How much better can it be? Anyway,

back to the other. How do you guys respond to that? I mean, I just

want to scream, or ask the person if that is all that matters that I

LOOK good. What happens if I gain back two or seven pounds

miraculously? Does that mean I don't look good anymore? Hear the

cynicism? I know people mean well, but when they don't know what to

say, I wish they would just be quiet! Anyhow, that's all from me.

Be well,

>>

Speaking of stupid people. I am so pissed at my aunt right now I could

scream. They were in town last Sunday. They went to church with my mom and

stepdad and then they all came by our house to see if we wanted to go out to

eat. I opted out because I felt nauseated and also felt I needed to rest as

much as I could so I could get as much rest as possible and maybe make it

through the week at work. I had just had shoulder surgery on Tuesday - only

5 days earlier and Monday was to be my first day back at work. Anyway, my

aunt just now IM'd me and told me that I should go to church and go out to

eat and be with other people, because it would help me. I told her my

stomach didn't feel good and that going out to eat would be no fun. She said

" it could help even if you don't eat very much to be with other people " . I

wanted to scream - I just had surgery 5 days earlier - my shoulder hurts, my

stomach hurts, and I am nauseated. The last thing I feel like doing is

getting dressed, going to a restaurant, and watching everyone eat just to be

sociable! Of course I didn't, she is almost 80 years old and if I hurt her

feelings, I'd feel bad.

Thanks for letting me vent. I feel better now!

[Guest guest]

In a message dated 11/19/00 10:54:18 PM Eastern Standard Time,

loggiekw@... writes:

<<

>>

Speaking of stupid people. I am so pissed at my aunt right now I could

scream. They were in town last Sunday. They went to church with my mom and

stepdad and then they all came by our house to see if we wanted to go out to

eat. I opted out because I felt nauseated and also felt I needed to rest as

much as I could so I could get as much rest as possible and maybe make it

through the week at work. I had just had shoulder surgery on Tuesday - only

5 days earlier and Monday was to be my first day back at work. Anyway, my

aunt just now IM'd me and told me that I should go to church and go out to

eat and be with other people, because it would help me. I told her my

stomach didn't feel good and that going out to eat would be no fun. She

said

" it could help even if you don't eat very much to be with other people " . I

wanted to scream - I just had surgery 5 days earlier - my shoulder hurts, my

stomach hurts, and I am nauseated. The last thing I feel like doing is

getting dressed, going to a restaurant, and watching everyone eat just to be

sociable! Of course I didn't, she is almost 80 years old and if I hurt her

feelings, I'd feel bad.

Thanks for letting me vent. I feel better now!

>>

Dear , I understand completely. Shirley

[Guest guest]

.. The last thing I feel like doing is

getting dressed, going to a restaurant, and watching everyone eat just

to be

sociable! Of course I didn't, she is almost 80 years old and

if I hurt her

feelings, I'd feel bad.

Thanks for letting me vent. I feel better now!

,

I'm glad your surgery went well. People, whether they are young or

old are very insensitive to those who do not "look" sick. My sister

does the same thing to me. I don't "look" sick therefore I must not

be too sick. She doesn't understand that I no longer have the energy

to mall hop or shop all day. Something I "use" to do.

I find there is no getting through to her or others. They will never

understand, and I can't make them understand.........so I do what is best

for me and they will just have to live with it. It is tough not being

popular, huh?

Have a good day and take care of you!! *hugs*

Becky(Indiana)

[Guest guest]

In a message dated 11/19/00 11:08:20 PM Central Standard Time,

shirlf3542@... writes:

<< Dear , I understand completely. Shirley

>>

thanks once again Shirley

[Guest guest]

In a message dated 11/20/00 3:35:28 PM Central Standard Time,

briffle@... writes:

<< ,

I'm glad your surgery went well. People, whether they are young or

old are very insensitive to those who do not " look " sick. My sister

does the same thing to me. I don't " look " sick therefore I must not be

too sick. She doesn't understand that I no longer have the energy to

mall hop or shop all day. Something I " use " to do.

I find there is no getting through to her or others. They will

never understand, and I can't make them understand.........so I do what

is best for me and they will just have to live with it. It is tough not

being popular, huh?

Have a good day and take care of you!! *hugs*

Becky(Indiana) >>

Becky,

Thank God - i have my sis and not yours. My sis is very concerned about me

and she has been one of the ones to encourage me to keep going to docs till I

found one that would listen to me and help me. My mom, best friend (since

age 12), and hubby also believe that I really am sick.

I am so very blessed.

[Guest guest]

,

I know exactly what you mean. They are just trying to be helpful

but they don't understand. When someone insists that i be around

people it will be good for me, I tell them if they could be a dear and

help me carry my small bucket, (they ask me what is that for?)

I tell them it's for when I throw up,which is usually anytime I put

anything in my stomach. Then I need help carrying my blanket for

when I start with a chill, and last of all I ask them it I start feeling

ill could I lay down in there car until everyone is ready to leave from

the restaurant or where ever we are at. For some reason they tell

me that they forgot they had other plans, can we do it another time? or they

insist that I go lie down in my bed to get some rest.

How very strange, I wonder what happened? HA HA

A friend Carmen

[Guest guest]

,

I guess we just have to focus on the people who DO care about us and

understand that just because we " LOOK " okay doesn't necessarily mean

much. This girl at work that says every day that I look good doesn't

understand how close she is to getting an earful. I mean, enough is

enough. Do you have someone who truly understands? I hope so, I

mean other than all of us of course :-)

Be well,

[Guest guest]

In a message dated 11/21/00 3:17:42 PM Central Standard Time,

sunflower6668@... writes:

<< ,

I guess we just have to focus on the people who DO care about us and

understand that just because we " LOOK " okay doesn't necessarily mean

much. This girl at work that says every day that I look good doesn't

understand how close she is to getting an earful. I mean, enough is

enough. Do you have someone who truly understands? I hope so, I

mean other than all of us of course :-)

Be well,

>>

,

Yes, I am so blessed with loved ones who do understand. Several of the

people at work including my bosses are great. My bosses wife is near death

from breast cancer so he understands illness very well unfortunately. My

mom, hubby, sister, daughter, and best friend have been so helpful to me

through this.

Sometimes I think the dumb people may think they are making you feel better

by telling you that you look good or by telling you that your health may

improve just as quickly as it failed (God, don't I wish). Who knows, but I

tell you it has made me think a little more before I speak.