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Lou, You write very well and express your feelings so clearly. I can identify so easily with your situation, as I'm sure many folks here can. You may already know this so forgive me if I sound like I'm preaching. I, too, have developed phobias/anxiety/and panic attacks since having this disease, at 60+ years old. I am assured by doctors and mental health professionals that this is absolutely normal for someone with compromised breathing. The good news is that there is relief out there. I don't know your situation but most insurance allow some mental health services. The combo of a good therapist and the proper meds can do wonders for your quality of life. The trick is finding a good therapist.....there are so many out there that shouldn't be. We call them "wounded healers"...they get into the field more to help themselves than to help others. and actually do damage.

I also identify with your feeling of being unable to control this stuff. Very scary, very frustrating. I pray that you find some relief, some peace to help you battle this monster. jim IPF 05 alaska Lou wrote: Sandie, I am going through the same thing you are going through right now as far as your inner feelings. I am not job searching but wish I could.

I totally understand you and hope you can, like me, try hard to just let yourself become more of a part of this wonderful group. If you don't need that job, you need us for sure. We love you so much and want you to be well like all of us would like.Yesterday I went to the pharmacy across the street, (had to drive) and even though it is close, I had to drive cause I couldn't walk that far. As I pulled in our parking lot, I realized that this dreadful disease had really got a grip on me that I don't like. We all don't like it either. No one really understands, do they? I mean like family? They try to understand but don't, plain and simple.When my hubby went to work this morning, I did not feel well at all. I thought I was going to go into a panic attack and couldn't breathe. When he said good bye and shut the door, I thought I would never see him again. Fear overcame me and I couldn't move. That hasn't

happened to me in over 30 years. I used to have agoraphobia 30 years ago after my first hubby left me. It was horrid and I just wanted to die. The feeling that my life is now over is the feeling I had this morning. I can't control it, it is controlling me no matter how sane I stay and how much I pray. Can't get used to it and don't want to get used to it either. I hate it with every breath I breathe. The antibiotic the pulmo gave me yesterday and the codiene med has really helped my congestion, that much I can say, but WHO AM I? I don't know who I am because the drugs I am taking is like being someone else. What gives with this life? Lou

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Jim...I've never heard that those with compromised breathing are more likely to have phobias/anxiety.

I know not enough O2 to the brain does effect us, is this what you mean?

Thanks.

Sher; ipf 3-06; OR.Don't fret about tomorrow, God is already there!

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> Sandie, I am going through the same thing you are going

through right

> now as far as your inner feelings. I am not job searching but wish

I

> could.

>

> I totally understand you and hope you can, like me, try hard to

just

> let yourself become more of a part of this wonderful group. If you

> don't need that job, you need us for sure. We love you so much and

> want you to be well like all of us would like.

>

> Yesterday I went to the pharmacy across the street, (had to drive)

> and even though it is close, I had to drive cause I couldn't walk

> that far. As I pulled in our parking lot, I realized that this

> dreadful disease had really got a grip on me that I don't like. We

> all don't like it either. No one really understands, do they? I

> mean like family? They try to understand but don't, plain and

simple.

>

> When my hubby went to work this morning, I did not feel well at

all.

> I thought I was going to go into a panic attack and couldn't

> breathe. When he said good bye and shut the door, I thought I would

> never see him again. Fear overcame me and I couldn't move. That

> hasn't happened to me in over 30 years. I used to have agoraphobia

> 30 years ago after my first hubby left me. It was horrid and I just

> wanted to die. The feeling that my life is now over is the feeling

I

> had this morning. I can't control it, it is controlling me no

matter

> how sane I stay and how much I pray. Can't get used to it and don't

> want to get used to it either. I hate it with every breath I

> breathe. The antibiotic the pulmo gave me yesterday and the codiene

> med has really helped my congestion, that much I can say, but WHO

AM

> I? I don't know who I am because the drugs I am taking is like

being

> someone else. What gives with this life?

> Lou

>

>

>

> HI JAMES: Gee, thank you so much for

your kind and thoughtful words to me. Even my own family doesn't

compliment me with such nice words most of the time.

30 years ago when I first started the panic attacks, the feeling of

impending doom and fear of dying right there in my tracks was

devastating. I have been on xanax and paxil ever since and without

those meds, I would just be at home all the time. They have given me

the chance to become stronger and count more on prayer and also of

me, myself and I to come out of the surge of fear overwhelming me.

Since I have been on those meds, they have found that I had a

horrible chemical imbalance which triggered the attacks and also

realizing what a horrible marriage I had at the time. I can go

anywhere and do anything and drive anywhere too with these meds. I

take very very low amounts of them. Actually the lowest they give.

The devastation of our son leaving home 30 yrs ago and for 15 yrs,

didn't know if he was either dead or alive was also a contributing

factor with the anxiety. Then I got the breast cancer, at that time

my son told me along with my ex, that they didn't want to ever see me

again. My husband left me because of his womanizing and 27 years I

guess was all he could handle in his head. My son has some mental

problems as it runs on Mom's side of the family. She was in and out

of institutions for years with electric shock treatments, etc. and

used to beat me when I was a child a lot. Anyhow, the xanax and

paxil are very very mild, like I said, and do give me the balance I

need to proceed with this life. God has blessed me with a wonderful

daughter who is above average on the compassionate and loving and

caring side. She is always there for me and always will be, just her

nature. Praise the Lord!

Love, Lou

>

>

> ---------------------------------

> Looking for last minute shopping deals? Find them fast with Yahoo!

Search.

>

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Sher, Okay, I didn't say that very well.........probably because my understanding of the whole issue is very limited. I think, it has to do with the "fight or flight" thing. I think that not too many people truly experience panic. I had a near drowning experience years ago. The panic involved was an awesome thing. The incident lasted maybe 2 minutes, yet I could not stand up, literally, for hours. A very physical reaction. 2 years ago, following radiation, when my pneumonitis (sp) was at it's worst, there were times I found myself on all fours next to the bed wondering if I would die right then and there. (those are the times that I believe that prednisone literally saved my life)The fight or flight kicks in, lots of physical stuff takes place, one of which is the release various chemicals into the blood

stream. Once this happens a few times the brain learns to trigger the panic . Once again, I have not said this well at all. I've always been sort of fascinated by the whole phenomenon as it really shows the whole mind-body connection. Also.....please know this is only my experience.....we are all so different. jim IPF 05 alaska Sher Bauman wrote: Jim...I've never heard that those with compromised breathing are more likely to have phobias/anxiety. I know not enough O2 to the brain does effect us, is this what you mean? Thanks. Sher; ipf 3-06; OR.Don't fret about tomorrow, God is already there!

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Oh you all are great! Thanks so much for all the hugs, personal

emails, and all the posts.

Sandie

>

> Sandie, I am going through the same thing you are going through

right

> now as far as your inner feelings. I am not job searching but wish

I

> could.

>

> I totally understand you and hope you can, like me, try hard to

just

> let yourself become more of a part of this wonderful group. If you

> don't need that job, you need us for sure. We love you so much and

> want you to be well like all of us would like.

>

> Yesterday I went to the pharmacy across the street, (had to drive)

> and even though it is close, I had to drive cause I couldn't walk

> that far. As I pulled in our parking lot, I realized that this

> dreadful disease had really got a grip on me that I don't like. We

> all don't like it either. No one really understands, do they? I

> mean like family? They try to understand but don't, plain and

simple.

>

> When my hubby went to work this morning, I did not feel well at

all.

> I thought I was going to go into a panic attack and couldn't

> breathe. When he said good bye and shut the door, I thought I

would

> never see him again. Fear overcame me and I couldn't move. That

> hasn't happened to me in over 30 years. I used to have agoraphobia

> 30 years ago after my first hubby left me. It was horrid and I

just

> wanted to die. The feeling that my life is now over is the feeling

I

> had this morning. I can't control it, it is controlling me no

matter

> how sane I stay and how much I pray. Can't get used to it and

don't

> want to get used to it either. I hate it with every breath I

> breathe. The antibiotic the pulmo gave me yesterday and the

codiene

> med has really helped my congestion, that much I can say, but WHO

AM

> I? I don't know who I am because the drugs I am taking is like

being

> someone else. What gives with this life?

> Lou

>

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