Post-op DSer Mom wants more! :)

[Guest guest]

In a message dated 7/27/2001 6:11:14 PM Eastern Daylight Time,

jmoseley@... writes:

> P.S. Joanne was born at home, in a birthing tub, when I weighed 289

> lbs. It can be done! I love my midwife. :-)

>

Oh I know it can be done but I got SO sick at the end that I needed to

deliver and I wouldn't dialate after 2 inductions with my first pg I gave up,

besides my DD & son's twin sister was stillborn, she passed on January 8,

1999 from a congential heart defect and I wanted a c-section January 9, 1999.

*~Joy~*

Lap. RNY @ 491lbs

2/26/01

Dr. Bertha, DO

town Memorial Hospital, town NJ

down 133lbs!!!

Mommy to:

1-9-99

and

Saralyn

12-15-99

[Guest guest]

Hi, everyone! I just found this list (to my great relief). I had a

lap DS on January 25, 2001 and I'm already thinking of that baby! LOL

I have two wonderful children, Camille (aged 4 1/2) and Liam (2+). I

had them both with obese, too (on the verge of morbid obesity) without

any complications or problems with delivery, thank God for that. I

feel like I've been given a new lease on life with the DS surgery and

so far, so good now at 6 months out. I've lost over 70 lbs (with about

50-60 more to go) and have experienced a wonderful, smooth recovery.

My three month labs were all fine except for a very slight drop in

calcium (PTH was fine).

I have my six month post-op on August 8 with Dr. Gagner at Mt Sinai/

NYC. He assured me that post-op pregnancy would not be any problem at

all at my three month visit. What a relief. OF course, I have to wait

until 18 months or more post-op to even think of conceiving. That's

fine with me.

I, too, wonder about post-op birth control... It's not like dh and I

have a lot of opportunity to get it on with two young kids in the house

but he HATES condoms. I HATE birth control pills. I've ALWAYS felt

wacky on them. I'm not sure how well they are absorbed anyway post-op.

Can anyone shed light on this????

I've heard of a new thing -- a monthly injection. I really don't

relish the thought of getting a shot every month, but it may be better

for us than the pill. I've heard the depo can really cause weight

gain. Has anyone heard of this monthly-shot option???

all the best,

lap ds with gallbladder removal

January 25, 2001

six months post-op and still feelin' fabu!

pre-oP: 307 lbs/bmi 45 (5' 9 1/2 " )

now: 233

[Guest guest]

Ladies,

Also consider the copper IUD. I got mine recently and it's great. The

first day was crampy but other than that, no problemo. It's good for

10 years if you want to keep it that long and there's no hormones to

add to the already overloaded hormonal system while losing weight.

IUDs have come a long way since the scary Dalkon Shield days. These

are totally different and after I did a TON of research, I felt

really safe getting mine.

HTH,

and Joanne 01/13/00

Open RNY 08/20/01 BMI 51.4

P.S. Joanne was born at home, in a birthing tub, when I weighed 289

lbs. It can be done! I love my midwife. :-)

> In a message dated 7/27/2001 4:58:38 PM Eastern Daylight Time,

ruisha@a...

> writes:

>

>

> > I, too, wonder about post-op birth control... It's not like dh

and I

> > have a lot of opportunity to get it on with two young kids in the

house

> > but he HATES condoms. I HATE birth control pills. I've ALWAYS

felt

> > wacky on them. I'm not sure how well they are absorbed anyway

post-op.

> > Can anyone shed light on this????

> >

>

> Oh I know this feeling 100% We have a 19mo & 30mo old

toddlers (yes

> they're really 11mos apart and I had them both weighing in at

420+lbs by

> scheduled c-section b/c of complications.) I am on the depo shot

and have

> since my DD was born 19.5mos ago, I'm 5mos post op yesterday and

I'm DYING

> for another baby but know that I have to wait so while I'm on the

depo shot

> now I'm not renewing it next month. Its been great for me but I

haven't had

> periods in 3.5yrs now b/c of 2 pregnancies and then the depo shot

and its

> time AF start to visit again. Never heard of the monthly shot

though be

> interested to find out

>

> *~Joy~*

[Guest guest]

~

How come you have to wait 18 months to conceive? I just had the lap rny

gastric bypass, and was told to wait 12 months before conceiving. Is it

dangerous to conceive earlier?

in Orlando

[Guest guest]

In a message dated 7/28/01 3:51:59 AM, OSSG-pregnant writes:

<< Oh I know this feeling 100% We have a 19mo & 30mo old toddlers

(yes

they're really 11mos apart and I had them both weighing in at 420+lbs by

scheduled c-section b/c of complications.) I am on the depo shot and have

since my DD was born 19.5mos ago, I'm 5mos post op yesterday and I'm DYING

for another baby but know that I have to wait so while I'm on the depo shot

now I'm not renewing it next month. Its been great for me but I haven't had

periods in 3.5yrs now b/c of 2 pregnancies and then the depo shot and its

time AF start to visit again. Never heard of the monthly shot though be

interested to find out

>>

HI, JOY! Great to meet you! I am going to have to wait until at least

next Fall/Winter (18 months post-op).... sigh. LOL I have more to lose and

we most likely will have to move to a much smaller place that 's folks

have in order to save a bunch of money. In two-three years, I want to be

totally out of debt and have at least 10=20k saved up. We can't make the

move until next June when our apt lease (and also car lease) are up. I'll

have to give up this nice, two bedroom place and our car (yikes!), but we'll

be moving to the heart of the city so I won't need a vehicle. The kids will

be old enough (3 and 5 1/2) to go on the subways with me. IT won't be easy

with less space and total city life and I don't necessarily want to be

pregnant and drag two kids around the city (I homeschool them and we go on a

lot of field trips together). Talk about uncomfortable! So, this next child

will be at least 2-3 years before he/she is even conceived....

I think we'll be much better off having sacrificed now, saved up a lot and

gotten rid of all our debt... Now we are just living from paycheck to

paycheck, making due but don't have anything to our name (no property,

savings, etc.). I'm 36, so I don't want to wait too long but I want to be in

a really good place when I do get pregnant again! :)

I wish you the best with your family and any new ones that come along!

lap ds with gallbladder removal

January 25, 2001

six months post-op and still feelin' fabu!

pre-op: 307 lbs/bmi 45 (5' 9 1/2)

now: 233

[Guest guest]

In a message dated 7/28/01 3:51:59 AM, OSSG-pregnant writes:

<< Also consider the copper IUD. I got mine recently and it's great. The

first day was crampy but other than that, no problemo. It's good for

10 years if you want to keep it that long and there's no hormones to

add to the already overloaded hormonal system while losing weight.

IUDs have come a long way since the scary Dalkon Shield days. These

are totally different and after I did a TON of research, I felt

really safe getting mine.

>>

I know this is an effective option. My OB/GYN mentioned it after I gave

birth to my second. There are just two reasons why I am not considering this

at this time: First, it is best used if one doesn't want a pregnancy in the

long term (like within the next five years). It is a pretty permanant

solution. Since I mentioned that I wanted a third within the next five

years, my OB/GYN said perhaps it would be better to try the pill (I have

those, though -- I've been on several different brands and feel so crappy on

them).

Another issue that would affect me to some degree (although certainly may not

be a consideration for some people) is that the IUD prevents a potentially

fertilized egg from becoming attached to the uterine wall. In other words,

it doesn't prevent a pregnancy as with barrier methods or the pill but does

not allow a pregnancy to progress or survive. I have some reservations about

this since I was raised Catholic (I am not staunchly religious by any means).

all the best,

lap ds with gallbladder removal

January 25, 2001

six months post-op and still feelin' fabu!

pre-op: 307 lbs/bmi 45 (5'9 1/2 " )

now: 233

[Guest guest]

In a message dated 7/28/01 3:51:59 AM, OSSG-pregnant writes:

<< How come you have to wait 18 months to conceive? I just had the lap rny

gastric bypass, and was told to wait 12 months before conceiving. Is it

dangerous to conceive earlier?

>>

: The window for weight loss with the DS surgery is 12-18 months (very

similar if not identical to the RNY). Many surgeons use the '18 month' as a

guidemark to when the body has finally lost the weight and adjusted properly.

I was told to wait 18 months before considering conceiving, especially since

the DS is a distal procedure and involves extensive malapsorption. I think

the surgeon just wanted to ensure that my body would be totally adjusted and

ready for the stresses of pregnancy. Perhaps those with distal RNYs are also

advised to wait 18 months? I'm not sure...

Since it isn't urgent that I conceive, I'm going to wait the 18 months

(perhaps longer depending on our situation). I think 12 months is pretty

standard, too.

all the best,

lap ds with gallbladder removal

January 25, 2001

six months post-op and still feelin' fabu!

pre-op: 307 lbs/bmi 45 (5'9 1/2 " )

now: 233

[Guest guest]

In a message dated 7/28/2001 10:11:25 AM Eastern Daylight Time,

ruisha@... writes:

> Perhaps those with distal RNYs are also

> advised to wait 18 months? I'm not sure...

>

To some I'm considered distal (150cm) and I was advised 12-24 mos before

conception.

*~Joy~*

Lap. RNY @ 491lbs

2/26/01

Dr. Bertha, DO

town Memorial Hospital, town NJ

down 133lbs!!!

Mommy to:

1-9-99

and

Saralyn

12-15-99

[Guest guest]

In a message dated 7/28/2001 10:42:09 AM Eastern Daylight Time,

ruisha@... writes:

> (I homeschool them and we go on a

> lot of field trips together). Talk about uncomfortable! So, this next

> child

> will be at least 2-3 years before he/she is even conceived....

>

Oh this is SO neat to hear as I'm planning on HS'ing too! I just

don't like the secondary schools around here so we'll be homeschooling. I

applaud you giving everything up and waiting... we own a home and 3 vehicles

and are living paycheck to paycheck too (wonder why LOL) but we needed the

minivan for the children & the Neon my DH drives back and forth to work b/c

its easy on gas, and the other vehicle is an 1985 Dodge Ram truck DH's father

bought him when it was brand new so its just for his tree work business! I'm

assuming you're living in NYC? If so maybe we could all meet at some time.

I know my children LOVE meeting new kids!

*~Joy~*

Lap. RNY @ 491lbs

2/26/01

Dr. Bertha, DO

town Memorial Hospital, town NJ

down 133lbs!!!

Mommy to:

1-9-99

and

Saralyn

12-15-99

[Guest guest]

In a message dated 7/28/01 8:35:40 AM Pacific Daylight Time,

Mommy2IrishTwnz@... writes:

> > Perhaps those with distal RNYs are also

> > advised to wait 18 months? I'm not sure...

> >

>

> To some I'm considered distal (150cm) and I was advised 12-24 mos before

> conception.

>

>

I think it is important to remember a few things here. First, it depends on

the surgeon. From the lists I have been on, people who have had the same

procedure often get completely different instructions from their doc. For

example, I did not have solid food for like 4 weeks, another person I knew

who had the same operation was not allowed to leave the hospital UNTIL he had

eaten food.

Second, we all come from different places weight wise. Starting at 519,

one year was not going to be enough time for me to get down enough. I have a

friend who only waited a year. She started at 340 something, but had gotten

to goal so did not need to wait longer.

Hugs,

in Ohio

[Guest guest]

In a message dated 7/28/2001 11:45:04 AM Eastern Daylight Time, MzChe@...

writes:

> Second, we all come from different places weight wise. Starting at 519,

> one year was not going to be enough time for me to get down enough. I have

> a

> friend who only waited a year. She started at 340 something, but had

> gotten

> to goal so did not need to wait longer.

>

Very true .. I started at 491lbs and am now at 358lbs.. so I'm lower

than I was with my two previous pg's (delivered at 420+lbs) but I'd like to

get to 299-300lbs before I have another pg. I'm 5'11 " tall and " was " losing

weight fast (plateaus stink!) so who knows if in Feb I'll be in a place I'll

WANT to try again at :0)

*~Joy~*

Lap. RNY @ 491lbs

2/26/01

Dr. Bertha, DO

town Memorial Hospital, town NJ

down 133lbs!!!

Mommy to:

1-9-99

and

Saralyn

12-15-99

[Guest guest]

Hi, everyone! I just found this list (to my great relief). I had a

lap DS on January 25, 2001 and I'm already thinking of that baby! LOL

(snip)

********************

Welcome, !

I know what you mean about feeling relief about finding this group!

When hubby and I decided it was time to think about trying to

conceive, I knew I wanted to find a group of women that could relate.

Sounds like you're right on track with your weight loss...that's

terrific!

Blessings,

in California

[Guest guest]

LOL Homeschool mom here! : )

Kris

Wife of Rick

Mom of two cross-culturally adopted girls (Martha, 7) (Alice, 5)

and one very handsome surprise (Isaac, 23mo)

and one wee angel

Mommy2IrishTwnz@... wrote:

> In a message dated 7/28/2001 10:42:09 AM Eastern Daylight Time,

> ruisha@... writes:

>

>

> > (I homeschool them and we go on a

> > lot of field trips together). Talk about uncomfortable! So, this

> next

> > child

> > will be at least 2-3 years before he/she is even conceived....

> >

>

> Oh this is SO neat to hear as I'm planning on HS'ing too! I

> just

> don't like the secondary schools around here so we'll be

> homeschooling. I

> applaud you giving everything up and waiting... we own a home and 3

> vehicles

> and are living paycheck to paycheck too (wonder why LOL) but we needed

> the

> minivan for the children & the Neon my DH drives back and forth to

> work b/c

> its easy on gas, and the other vehicle is an 1985 Dodge Ram truck DH's

> father

> bought him when it was brand new so its just for his tree work

> business! I'm

> assuming you're living in NYC? If so maybe we could all meet at some

> time.

> I know my children LOVE meeting new kids!

>

> *~Joy~*

> Lap. RNY @ 491lbs

> 2/26/01

> Dr. Bertha, DO

> town Memorial Hospital, town NJ

> down 133lbs!!!

> Mommy to:

>

> 1-9-99

> and

> Saralyn

> 12-15-99

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

In a message dated 7/29/01 03:50:06, OSSG-pregnant writes:

<< I'm

assuming you're living in NYC? If so maybe we could all meet at some time.

I know my children LOVE meeting new kids! >>

Hi, Joy: It would be great to meet sometime! :) So great to hear of

another 'homeschooler to be' in the works, too. LOL

I live in Sheepshead Bay, Brooklyn (near Coney Island). We love the

neighborhood but the housing prices are outrageous here. I just spoke to my

mom and there's a possibility of her helping us out to move to one our family

spots: Traverse City, Michigan, Elk Grove Village, Illinois (near

Shaumburg/Arlington Heights/NW Suburbs of Chicago) or Anchorage, Alaska....

So many decisions to make! So little time~ ROFL

In any event, we have to figure out what we will be doing a year from now and

it will involve major changes... as if I haven't been through enough already,

right? LOL I will go for my six month post-op with Dr. Gagner/Mt Sinai on

August 8 and find out about my six months labwork then (I already had the

blood drawn). I've been feeling great I just hope the labs continue to be

great!

all the best,

lap ds with gallbladder removal

January 25, 2001

six months post-op and still feelin' fabu!

pre-op: 307 lbs/bmi 45 (5'9 1/2 " )

now: 233

[Guest guest]

In a message dated 7/29/01 3:50:06 AM, OSSG-pregnant writes:

<< LOL Homeschool mom here! : )

Kris

Wife of Rick

Mom of two cross-culturally adopted girls (Martha, 7) (Alice, 5)

and one very handsome surprise (Isaac, 23mo)

and one wee angel

>>

Hey, Kris: No kiddinG! Maybe we have to get our own OSSG-Homeschool list

started? ROFL... just kiddin' -- this list is great!

I'm so interested in your adopting your girls -- My dh is

Chinese-American and my two children are wonderfully 'blended' --

Irish/French on my side and Chinese on 's side. I've been thinking of

adopting from China or another Asian country, actually for a third (or

potentially our fourth if we do decide on a biological third). It has always

been in the back of my mind....

Sounds like you really have your HANDS full, girlfriend!

all the best to you,

lap ds with gallbladder removal

January 25,2001

six months post-op and still feelin' fabu!

pre-op: 307 lbs/bmi 45 (5' 9 1/2 " )

now: 233

[Guest guest]

ruisha@... wrote:

> I'm so interested in your adopting your girls -- My dh is

> Chinese-American and my two children are wonderfully 'blended' --

> Irish/French on my side and Chinese on 's side. I've been

> thinking of

> adopting from China or another Asian country, actually for a third (or

>

> potentially our fourth if we do decide on a biological third). It has

> always

> been in the back of my mind....

>

> Sounds like you really have your HANDS full, girlfriend!

: ) Yes, sometimes I think I do... then I look at my friends who have

six or seven kids, and I realize that I don't have ANYTHING to do

compared with them. LOL

My little rainbow family is so sweet... I've never regretted building

our family through adoption. Martha is Hispanic, and Alice is Asian.

Then our little boy, who's so white he's almost fluorescent... LOL But I

don't really notice anyone's ethnicity any more. We're just who we are.

: ) Thankfully we have lots of friends with rainbow families, so it's

not any big deal for my kids. Adoption isn't secretive or shameful; it's

just another way of joining a family. For Christians, it oughta be

especially obvious, since the Bible openly describes our belonging to

God's family as an adoptive relationship.

Blessings,

Kris

[Guest guest]

Wow, I can relate with the rainbow family concept. We

have not adopted, but my 4 year old is black/white

mixed and the child I am pregnant with now will be

white. My son seems to have adjusted well to being

the only one in the family of color so far, but I am

concerned with how it will affect when the baby comes

and he realizes that everyone in the family is always

going to be white except for him. I like to think

that he will adjust ok and not have some stigma when

he grows up but sometimes I wonder. If anyone has any

advice on how to deal with this, please do so. I have

been thinking alot about it since I have gotten

pregnant. I knew when I had him that there would be

some problems, but I thought that my husband would be

black also. Now here I am, a white woman with a white

husband and black child. I hope he isnt angry with

me.

--- Kris Wood wrote:

>

>

> ruisha@... wrote:

>

> > I'm so interested in your adopting your girls --

> My dh is

> > Chinese-American and my two children are

> wonderfully 'blended' --

> > Irish/French on my side and Chinese on 's

> side. I've been

> > thinking of

> > adopting from China or another Asian country,

> actually for a third (or

> >

> > potentially our fourth if we do decide on a

> biological third). It has

> > always

> > been in the back of my mind....

> >

> > Sounds like you really have your HANDS full,

> girlfriend!

>

> : ) Yes, sometimes I think I do... then I look at my

> friends who have

> six or seven kids, and I realize that I don't have

> ANYTHING to do

> compared with them. LOL

>

> My little rainbow family is so sweet... I've never

> regretted building

> our family through adoption. Martha is Hispanic, and

> Alice is Asian.

> Then our little boy, who's so white he's almost

> fluorescent... LOL But I

> don't really notice anyone's ethnicity any more.

> We're just who we are.

> : ) Thankfully we have lots of friends with rainbow

> families, so it's

> not any big deal for my kids. Adoption isn't

> secretive or shameful; it's

> just another way of joining a family. For

> Christians, it oughta be

> especially obvious, since the Bible openly describes

> our belonging to

> God's family as an adoptive relationship.

> Blessings,

> Kris

>

>

> [Non-text portions of this message have been

> removed]

>

>

__________________________________________________

[Guest guest]

My husband is black and I am white. We have been married for 6 years. This

is our first baby.

I am amazed at some of the comments that " friends " make. Like you two will

have such beautiful children. " Those " kids have the most beautiful skin.

Maybe I am too sensitive. I even had one co-worker ask me if my children

will be black or white.

I live in a small South Texas town so I am sure that this has a lot to do

with the ignorance.

We were planning on adopting if this pregnancy was not succesful. I had

looked into adopting a girl from China.

It is nice to read that other people are also part of a rainbow family. It

makes me angry when outsiders cannot see past the color of one's skin.

Thank you all for the wonderful support on this list.

Buckner

LAP RNY 8-23-00

pre-op weight 260

pre-prgnancy weight 186

due date: 12-5-01 Baby Boy!!!!

[Guest guest]

Congratulations, ! : ) In our house, kids is just kids... skin is

irrelevant. LOL Until they get UNDER MINE.

The comments you've been receiving sound an awful lot like the tacky

comments that we've gotten about adopting and about rainbow families in

general. People are just really idiotic sometimes, y'know? Stuff like,

" Oh, those Koreans are always so smart, you know " (my Korean daughter

has major brain damage and may never even be able to tell you what color

the sky is) or " She's Mexican, right? She sure speaks English well. "

(DUH! We adopted her at birth... what language do you THINK she would

speak?) <glare>

What small South Texas town might we be talking about? LOL My oldest

daughter was born in Austin, and we finalized her adoption in the

courthouse in San Marcos. I also lived in Corpus Christi for a while

during my teen years. When I visit our folks (dh's and mine both) in a

small town in northeastern TX, I always leave with relief that I don't

LIVE there anymore, especially considering my rainbow family... I've

even had family members make the comment that " well, just as long as you

don't adopt a BLACK kid, it'll probably be fine. "

!!!!

It just takes my breath away. It really does. Makes me want to run out

and adopt one of the babies from Haiti that I look at on the Precious In

His Sight adoption photolisting (http://www.precious.org) (I'd like to

run out and do that anyway). LOL Of course, that's the total wrong

reason to adopt ANYONE, so we aren't at the moment. But that's not to

say that if we got a phone call tomorrow to adopt another kid, we

wouldn't jump at the opportunity regardless of the skin it's in. Sheesh!

And I certainly don't want to raise my kids in an environment like the

place my folks live in. <shudder>

Blessings,

K

brbuckcc@... wrote:

> My husband is black and I am white. We have been married for 6

> years. This

> is our first baby.

> I am amazed at some of the comments that " friends " make. Like you two

> will

> have such beautiful children. " Those " kids have the most beautiful

> skin.

> Maybe I am too sensitive. I even had one co-worker ask me if my

> children

> will be black or white.

> I live in a small South Texas town so I am sure that this has a lot to

> do

> with the ignorance.

> We were planning on adopting if this pregnancy was not succesful. I

> had

> looked into adopting a girl from China.

> It is nice to read that other people are also part of a rainbow

> family. It

> makes me angry when outsiders cannot see past the color of one's skin.

>

> Thank you all for the wonderful support on this list.

>

> Buckner

> LAP RNY 8-23-00

> pre-op weight 260

> pre-prgnancy weight 186

> due date: 12-5-01 Baby Boy!!!!

[Guest guest]

Those comments are all too familiar and so so silly. I wonder if people

realize how ignorant that they sound.

I live in Corpus Christi. It is a small but growing town. There is still a

lot of small town mentality. If you haven't been here in a few years you

would probably be suprised by the growth.

I am always happy when we visit my husbands family in Houston and we see a

lot of rainbow families.

Buckner

LAP RNY 8-23-00

pre-op weight 260

pre-prgnancy weight 186

due date: 12-5-01 Baby Boy!!!!

[Guest guest]

In a message dated 7/31/01 4:02:22 AM, OSSG-pregnant writes:

<< I have

been thinking alot about it since I have gotten

pregnant. I knew when I had him that there would be

some problems, but I thought that my husband would be

black also. Now here I am, a white woman with a white

husband and black child. I hope he isnt angry with

me. >>

Kris: Your son IS also white! I think the best thing would be to try to

keep his African-American cultural heritage alive and instill a sense of

pride in that part of himself. However, I wouldn't do this to the point

where he really feels so totally different from everyone else in the

family... There are plenty of support networks out there for parents of

'mixed heritage' kids... many of these moms have bi-racial (white/black)

children. I think you would find a warm community of people with similar

issues, concerns, etc. as yourself. As long as you, your husband and future

children accept him, he will have a strong family foundation full of love and

acceptance from which to face the world.

My children are white and Chinese, so the issues related to raising

bi-cultural/racial children is one I also share. I think it is more

difficult for bi-racial children (white/black) due to the strong racism and

cultural stereotypes that still (unfortunately) exist in this society. I

wouldn't say my situation is identical to yours but I'm sure we have a common

ground and share concerns and issues related to raising healthy, loving and

secure children who are wonderful mixes/blends of different groups!

all the best,

lap ds with gallbladder removal

January 25, 2001

six months post-op and still feelin' fabu!

pre-op: 307 lbs/bmi 45 (5'9 1/2 " )

now: 299

[Guest guest]

In a message dated 7/31/01 4:02:22 AM, OSSG-pregnant writes:

<< I am amazed at some of the comments that " friends " make. Like you two

will

have such beautiful children. " Those " kids have the most beautiful skin.

Maybe I am too sensitive. I even had one co-worker ask me if my children

will be black or white.

I live in a small South Texas town so I am sure that this has a lot to do

with the ignorance.

>>

: I get all these 'beautiful comments' all the time but it doesn't

bother me cause hey - I think my kids ARE beautiful! ROFL But, I think they

are trying to say that 'hey, I accept you and your husband and am so happy

that you will have children.' There is still some social pressure, I think,

to not mix and match or that the offspring from such pairings will be somehow

'unaccepted' by society or considered 'ugly' (not just physically but in a

metaphorical term since they are a constant reminder that we are ALL human

beings and inter-racial children are totally NORMAL). These friends seem to

be emphasizing, in their own way, that they don't hold such reservations.

Perhaps the fact that they make a point of mentioning it, they either have

secret reservations or are uncomfortable to some degree but saying it helps

them become more comfortable and accepting OR they feel pressure from others

or the general society to admonish and they are affirming their beliefs by

vocalizing this to you.

It's very interesting that people want to pidgeon-hole by race. My children

really don't look Asian or 100 pct 'pure' Caucasian. Hence, they provide a

problem for many who want to easily categorize them by their appearance. I

tell my children they are BOTH white AND Asian. Not even 'half' and 'half'

because this denotes that their identities with either group are not total or

whole -- how can they be a whole person with two 'half' identities or

heritages???? I want them to feel whole in both groups. I actually wrote an

article about this for MomsOnline called 'What's Race Got To Do With It?' If

anyone is interested, it can be found at:

http://www.momsonline.com/asafamily/article.asp?key=BI991109

All the best,

lap ds with gallbladder removal

January 25, 2001

six months post-op and still feelin' fabu!

pre-op: 307 lbs/bmi 45 (5' 91/2 " )

now: 299