B.

January 7, 2000

, sorry that this response to your post is so late, I've been on vacation.

First of all, I am so very sorry that you are having such a hard time. Secondly,

I agree with everyone else's responses to your post, but there's something I'd

like to add. I, too have small children (two boys, 7 and 4), and I understand

what it means to feel inadequate and even guilty as a parent because of this

disease. God really showed me that I have no reason or right to feel that way.

He, not me, is in control. I have done nothing to bring this upon myself, but it

is things such as this that build character -- not just in me, but in my husband

and children, as well. This is really a wonderful opportunity to teach your

children how to stand up in the face of adversity, how to be strong in spite of

opposition, to hang in there even when it seems the world is crumbling down

around you. , Angie, , and many others...this message is for you, too.

Too often children see adults escape, wallow, or become numb. Let's take this

opportunity to teach our children that it's not our circumstances that define

us, it's how we respond to them that makes us who we are. Let's also admit that

it's okay to need sometimes -- that's not a weakness, it's how we were created

to be.

I've learned a valuable lesson this year by moving away from family and

everything that's familiar to me. I'm used to being the one making meals for

people in need, volunteering for help out -- MEETING needs. I've never wanted to

appear NEEDY, especially to these new people that were unaware of my previous

service and accomplishments. But, between my hysterectomy and my trip to Boston,

I've had no choice but to allow people to help me. Believe it or not, it's been

a beautiful lesson to learn.

So, let's not beat ourselves up over things that we can't control. Instead,

let's be teachers to those we love!

Shanin

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