Re: Another milestone

[Guest guest]

>

> At last DD2 is out of night time nappies! >

> Lesley

>

How old is she Lesley - I'm still struggling with my DD1 (4) who has no

intention of being dry at night! Last night, she woke me up at 4.30am to

tell me her nappy was soaking wet - I changed her and took her to toilet and

blow me if she wasn't wet again by the time she got up at 7am!

Guess I need to be more relaxed about it - she's obviously not ready but

would be nice if she was not *quite* so wet every night!

[Guest guest]

>Hooray, no more nappies until grandchildren make an appearance!

>

>Lesley

How nice for you Lesley... What d'you reckon, grandchildren within 5 years?

I am no further with getting out of nappies - daytime or

night-time. He's 3 next week and is still showing no inclination to want to

do it for himself. Having been through the battle of wills bit over the

summer, I'm not inclined to take a firm line with him. I've also tried the

incentives approach (ie star chart, chocolate buttons) but this doesn't work

either, because he doesn't seem to understand that it's *every* wee that

should be done on the toilet, and not just one when he wants a chocolate

button.

I put him back in nappies full time while we were on holiday - because I

wanted a stress free time, but I was mightily conscious of the fact that

he's big for his age, and that other people may have been looking at him in

horror still being in a nappy. This wouldn't normally bother me, except

that shortly before we went away, a friend told me she thought the idea of a

3 year old still in nappies was " disgusting " (she wasn't actually talking

about but about another friend's son).

So now we're back from holiday, I suppose it's time to start again. I'm not

exactly over the moon about the prospect. I know I've been through all this

with you all before, but I feel I could do with any help, advice or just

general sympathy and reassurance that I'm not a hopeless mother just because

my son won't co-operate with me on this.

McVeigh

Newsletter Editor & Secretary, Leighton Buzzard & District

SAHM to (AKA Tiff Toff) DOB 19/9/97

& Caitlin (AKA Cake Tin), DOB 12/1/00

Photo Album:

http://albums.photopoint.com/j/AlbumIndex?u=697874 & a=5085964

[Guest guest]

How old is she? We still have pull ups at night here, not pushing it at the

moment as the transfer to school is traumatic enough.

Cerys

----- Original Message -----

Lesley wrote

> At last DD2 is out of night time nappies

[Guest guest]

Hi ,

My four year old is still in nappies at night (sorry, special pants as he

calls them). He was dry for a while and then seemed to take a step back.

Nothing significant had happened to upset him that we can think of. I've

tried lifting him late at night but it doesnt work. I think its quite

common though. My brother wasnt dry at night until he was 6. It was quite

a big deal then but I dont think the health professionals worry till they

are about 7 now.

Jacqui

[Guest guest]

I'm still struggling with my DD1 (4) who has no

> intention of being dry at night!

Don't worry, she'll get there when she's ready. My nephew is just out of

nappies at night and he is 6 next week. My SIL took him to the GP about it

a year or so back and was told it's not considered a problem until age 7.

Hence Huggies dry-nites(?) in very big sizes.

Lynda

SAHM to (7), (5), Fraser(2), Callum 15/5/00

Newsletter editor & general dogsbody, Mid-Northumberland branch

http://albums.photopoint.com/j/AlbumIndex?u=762789 & a=8600069

[Guest guest]

, have you taken him out to chose his own special " big boy " pants? Might

work. Is he often around other children who *do* use the toilet? Sometimes

example is quite compelling. has even started trying to wee standing up

at the toilet because he sees his brothers doing it. Mind you, he only does

this if 2 of them are tying to use the loo at the same time. At all other times

he sits down.

Alison

.

So now we're back from holiday, I suppose it's time to start again. I'm not

exactly over the moon about the prospect. I know I've been through all this

with you all before, but I feel I could do with any help, advice or just

general sympathy and reassurance that I'm not a hopeless mother just because

my son won't co-operate with me on this.

[Guest guest]

said......I'm still struggling with my DD1 (4) who has no

intention of being dry at night! Last night, she woke me up at 4.30am to

tell me her nappy was soaking wet - I changed her and took her to toilet and

blow me if she wasn't wet again by the time she got up at 7am!

Guess I need to be more relaxed about it - she's obviously not ready but

would be nice if she was not *quite* so wet every night!

-------

She's four and a half, which is probably later than some but earlier than

others! DD1 was well over five, and maybe six before she was dry at night.

I really had to wait until she was ready because she would be wet within an

hour of going to sleep, even though she went to the loo immediately before

bedtime. Then she suddenly had a load of dry nappies and that was it. It

seemed like forever at that time but now I can't honestly recall exactly how

old she was when she stopped, hence my guessing! She had been at school

some time because the school nurse was involved for a while, fruitlessly, I

have to add.

I really wouldn't worry about it at this stage. The nappy makers wouldn't

make the large sizes available nowadays if there was no demand for them!

You could try putting booster pads into her nappy, to make them more

absorbent, which could cut out the night time changes. A roll of pad is

available from Boots, pretty cheap, which you cut to size.

BTW, now DD1, at 13, is a 'young lady' she likes wearing thick towels at

night 'cos its like wearing a nappy'!!!!!! I didn't like to tell her the

novelty will soon wear off!

Lesley

[Guest guest]

Cerys, see my post to for the gory details!

Lesley

-------------------------------------------------------------------->

Cerys said....How old is she? We still have pull ups at night here, not

pushing it at the

moment as the transfer to school is traumatic enough.

Cerys

[Guest guest]

>Hooray, no more nappies until grandchildren make an appearance!

>

>Lesley

said....How nice for you Lesley... What d'you reckon, grandchildren

within 5 years?

[Lesley] Don't think so. DS1 *very* involved with his girlfriend but she is

American so any long term relationship means him being able to work in USA

and also she plans to do a PhD. In any case I guess I wouldn't see the

Grand-Grubs very often is they are living in California. DS2 is starting Uni

next week, so no babies there for a while, I hope!

said.....I am no further with getting out of nappies -

daytime or night-time. He's 3 next week and is still showing no inclination

to want to do it for himself.

[Lesley] You're not a hopeless mother at all, we all have problems at some

stage or other. Maybe 's birthday is the day to get tough again.

You could tell him that there are no nappies big enough for three year olds

and that pants are the order of the day. [some fave cartoon ones as a little

pressie?] And you could try the bribery again, it worked a treat for DD2

[though she has a criminal nature so that's maybe why!] by offering a

sweetie every time he does a wee. It seems awful feeding your child sweets

but I found they soon forget to ask for one, once going to the loo becomes

an everyday part of life. I also gave DD2 lots of dilute juice to drink as

the bladder is then filled up and the sensation easier and more frequent for

them to feel. can't think of much else, but good luck!!

[Guest guest]

>, have you taken him out to chose his own special " big boy " pants?

Might work. Is he often around other children who *do* use the toilet?

Sometimes example is quite compelling. has even started trying to wee

standing up at the toilet because he sees his brothers doing it. Mind you,

he only does this if 2 of them are tying to use the loo at the same time.

At all other times he sits down.

>

>Alison

He's fine wearing pants, will confidently stand and wee or sit down and wee

(toilet, never potty), but will only do it when he decides it's a good idea.

Sometimes this can mean a whole morning of dry pants, then he gets bored of

the whole thing and does vast puddles everywhere all afternoon (at which

point I say back into nappies, which I know I shouldn't but I just can't

bear it).

He can't seem to understand that I want him to do *every* wee in the toilet

and not just the ones when he's in the mood to play this weeing into the

toilet game. Yes when he's with other trained children, he follows their

example, eg at nursery he uses the toilet when the others do (though he

always comes home with wet pull-ups, so he's not doing all his wees in the

loo there either). It's a comprehension problem I think. He knows when he

needs a wee, but he cannot grasp the concept of " if you need a wee, let me

know " . If I ask he if he needs a wee, he just automatically says " no " , then

2 minutes later, having thought about it, will do it all over the floor.

If he's in the mood to co-operate, or if he's offered an incentive, he'll

stand at the toilet and squeeze and strain until he gets a trickle out (he's

just done this having asked for a video, I said " yes after you've done a wee

in the toilet " ) very rarely does he relax and just let the wee come out when

he's at the toilet, then he'll almost always come downstairs and within 5

minutes do a puddle on the carpet.

Having looked through 's book, and other sources of information, this

situation just doesn't seem to happen to other people, ie, in control of his

bladder, but just unco-operative.

[Guest guest]

He's obviously highly intelligent if he finds the whole process boring!

Let's face it there are far more interesting things to do. I seem to have

been lucky with (DS4) so far because he is in a cooperative phase at

the moment but he seems to have the ability to control it too. He was

teasing me yesterday: every time I asked him if he was finished he would

squeeze another little drop out! I'm trying REALLY hard not to show much

emotion one way or the other because otherwise he'll use it against me!

How about choosing a day when life isn't too stressful for you (20th Sept

2005 perhaps) and just be very boring about it (cf Tony Bradman 'The potty's

the place!') but not resorting to the nappies? has a list of people

who use the toilet which he recites sometimes, and also a list of places

where doing a wee is not a good idea. And try and stay positive about all

the things he can do and is learning quickly so you don't get too depressed!

Carr

SAHM to four boys

Sunbury & Shepperton Branch

Trainee ANT & Mem Sec

[Guest guest]

wrote

>

> Having looked through 's book, and other sources of information,

this

> situation just doesn't seem to happen to other people, ie, in control of

his

> bladder, but just unco-operative.

Hate to say this but we've been in this situation for 2 years and

is now 4 3/4 and *mostly* dry. We don't get huge floods now just

enough to need a change of pants but it has been a very exhausting and

frustrating time. I have no easy answers but try not to let it get you down

Cerys

[Guest guest]

I feel I could do with any help, advice or just

> general sympathy

Not advice (wouldn't dream of coming over all big sisterly!), but this is

what worked for mine, which we have probably never talked about.

I took them all out of nappies for the same reason - playgroup looming, and

I wanted them to go, both for their sake and so I could have some time with

the next in line. They were all aware of having done a wee/poo, but I don't

think could tell one was imminent. I use the all or nothing approach - when

they are out, they are out, so it's no nappies at all, even for trips out of

the house. I put them in proper pants, not trainers and expect that at

least at the beginning we are going to have accidents on the carpets (new

carpets due in about 3 years time after Callum has had his turn!). I choose

a week when we can largely stay at home so with Fraser it was after we were

back from Caitlin's christening, and we just go for it. We have lots of

potties around, two upstairs and two downstairs so there should always be

one which can be reached quite quickly, and if they need the potty, I drop

anything else to give them help immediately (even the computer, sorry, that

should read baby). I use a sweet as a reward for a wee/poo in the potty.

If there is an accident, I tell them what a pity it wasn't in the potty,

mention that if the next one is in the potty they will get a sweet, and get

them to help clear up ie pants in the washing basket, get their own clean

pair out of the drawer. I have always set myself a week as my limit, if I

felt we weren't getting anywhere by the end of the week we would go back to

nappies and try again in a month's time. With each of them it has been

about day 3 that I have got really fed up with damp patches on the carpet

and the smell of disinfectant in the air, but it has also been the day that

it seems to have just clicked with them and they have started using the

potty for themselves. For a while accidents do still happen but they are

usually beside the potty because they couldn't get trousers down in time, or

have kicked the potty over after getting up Fraser is on week 5 now and

I am trying to get him to use the toilet and that's what his reward sweet is

now for. He's cracked it for wees and did his first poo in the toilet

today, so hopefully I can soon stop carrying the potty with me whenever we

leave the house.

> and reassurance that I'm not a hopeless mother just because

> my son won't co-operate with me on this.

I wanted mine out of nappies so that they could go to playgroup and start

learning to recognise some letters and numbers. I reckon you've got at

least 2 years to play with before Fraser has caught up with in

that skill! They're all different.

Lynda

SAHM to (7), (5), Fraser(2), Callum 15/5/00

Newsletter editor & general dogsbody, Mid-Northumberland branch

http://albums.photopoint.com/j/AlbumIndex?u=762789 & a=8600069

[Guest guest]

,

With Kieran, who has huge understanding problems I just took him to the

toilet every hour to begin with and then gradually lengthened it. It was

too much responsibility for him for a long time to tell me that he needed

to go and he also just could not be bothered. I was worried that he would

get too regimented and would never be able to tell me but after a while he

did begin to tell me. I have to confess that DH got absolutely furious

with him one afternoon and he did begin to see the point after that

although its not something I would suggest as a remedy.

Lesley

----------

>

He's fine wearing pants, will confidently stand and wee or sit down and wee

(toilet, never potty), but will only do it when he decides it's a good

idea.

Sometimes this can mean a whole morning of dry pants, then he gets bored of

the whole thing and does vast puddles everywhere all afternoon (at which

point I say back into nappies, which I know I shouldn't but I just can't

bear it).

Having looked through 's book, and other sources of information,

this

situation just doesn't seem to happen to other people, ie, in control of

his

bladder, but just unco-operative.

[Guest guest]

As you may recall, we were having this discussion some time ago when I was

trying to get DS2 dry at night. We went through the

lifting-before-we-went-to-bed bit too. Meant we were unlikely to have any

accidents, but it didn't help him to learn to respond to the signals. To be

perfectly honest, we just bit the bullet and went for it. Until they learn the

consequences of wetting the bed (being in soggy, yucky pyjamas, having to get

up, washed and changed and clean bedding put on), they will probably continue to

wet, as the nappy takes all that away. What I did was put double layers on the

bed - plastic sheet, cotton, plastic, cotton - so that if there was an accident,

I could just whip off the top 2 sheets without having to remake the whole bed.

After a few nights of this little procedure, DS2 got the message and we rarely

have an accident these days.

Alison

-------

She's four and a half, which is probably later than some but earlier than

others! DD1 was well over five, and maybe six before she was dry at night.

I really had to wait until she was ready because she would be wet within an

hour of going to sleep, even though she went to the loo immediately before

bedtime. Then she suddenly had a load of dry nappies and that was it. It

seemed like forever at that time but now I can't honestly recall exactly how

old she was when she stopped, hence my guessing! She had been at school

some time because the school nurse was involved for a while, fruitlessly, I

have to add.

[Guest guest]

Mmm - did try going for it once, after we had visited a friend whose DD is

same age (bar a day!) as mine & mine said - 'I don't want to wear nappies

any more cos isn't wearing them'.

Hasd she woken in the night realising she was wet, it wouldn't have been so

bad. But she didn't! So she laid in a cold, wet, smelly bed all night!!

After a week of his I was fed up with washing and told her she had to wear

nappies again. May not have been the right thing to do, but I was getting

seriously stressed about it!

Oh well - one day maybe!

>

> As you may recall, we were having this discussion some time ago when I was

trying to get DS2 dry at night. We went through the

lifting-before-we-went-to-bed bit too. Meant we were unlikely to have any

accidents, but it didn't help him to learn to respond to the signals. To be

perfectly honest, we just bit the bullet and went for it. Until they learn

the consequences of wetting the bed (being in soggy, yucky pyjamas, having

to get up, washed and changed and clean bedding put on), they will probably

continue to wet, as the nappy takes all that away. What I did was put

double layers on the bed - plastic sheet, cotton, plastic, cotton - so that

if there was an accident, I could just whip off the top 2 sheets without

having to remake the whole bed. After a few nights of this little

procedure, DS2 got the message and we rarely have an accident these days.

>

> Alison

>

> -------

[Guest guest]

>

>He's fine wearing pants, will confidently stand and wee or sit down and wee

>(toilet, never potty), but will only do it when he decides it's a good idea.

>Sometimes this can mean a whole morning of dry pants, then he gets bored of

>the whole thing and does vast puddles everywhere all afternoon (at which

>point I say back into nappies, which I know I shouldn't but I just can't

>bear it).

Don't know if you remember my first serious and failed attempt at

toilet training, but I couldn't cope with the puddles with proper

pants either - they just had to be left and hope I could remember

where they were to point out to DH in the evening. Trainer pants did

work for us - he was no more likely to wee in them and if he did at

least the carpet and floor didn't need mopping and usually not his

clothes changing either.

>

>Having looked through 's book, and other sources of information, this

>situation just doesn't seem to happen to other people, ie, in control of his

>bladder, but just unco-operative.

Oh I think it does - or at least people feel as if their child is

being unco-operative. The big leap from being able to wee in the

toilet on demand to asking to go when he needs to was our downfall

too - I just got too ill taking him to the toilet hourly (though he

had a few days after pretty dry days where I really thought we were

getting there, when he wee'd twice an hour all day - once on the

toilet, once in his pants!) and he didn't get the business of saying

in advance - I suppose it is one thing being able to wee on demand,

another to hold on when you are doing something else - different

altogether. I can imagine this accounts for the mega frustrating " Do

you want to go? " and then wet pants a few minutes later - sensation

of a full bladder to wet pants is not very long and if they are busy

or wanting to do something else, they may not even sense it.

is still reasonably young (2 and a half) but it does sound

similar and it does *feel* like he is being unco-operative sometimes,

and it is hard to accept we'd really only got, say one third of the

way into the process. And this is a child who has such awesome

bladder control that months ago he could announce " wee bath " THEN

start weeing, then stop before I could get the potty under the

stream, then start again when I took it away. But seriously, I think

there is a difference between what they can do when concentrating and

what they can do when something else is going on. We have the

brilliant incentive of playgroup which he seems to understand quite

clearly (should have started yesterday - I've heard another playgroup

has relaxed its toilet training rule. I still want him to go to this

one, but might try mentioning it, but it is a school one not a

private one so I don't know if that makes a difference)

But doesn't it make you sigh! You can certainly have my sympathy!

--

Vaudin

jennifer@...

[Guest guest]

None of mine have been out of night nappies early so far. Bethany still

wets the bed about every other night - but not at all if we remember to take

her to the loo when we go to bed. The longest she's been dry is about 2

weeks in row. She seems to have good and bad spells. We stopped using

nappies when she turned 5. She was dry in the day at 2 and 2 months so

nightimes have been a long haul!

Lawrence was a more reluctant potty trainer and was dry in the day at 2yrs

6months, he managed to stop bedwetting altogether when he turned 4.

Verity was out of nappies in the day by the time she turned two, but I'm not

expecting dry nights for hmmm..... at least another 4 years or so!

I can remember wetting the bed at about age 8 or so , so I think heredity

probably has something to do with it.

Hannah, 26

Mum to Bethany 6, Lawrence 4 1/2, Verity 2 and Baby No.4 due Feb 2001

[Guest guest]

wrote

>

> Had she woken in the night realising she was wet, it wouldn't have been so

> bad. But she didn't! So she laid in a cold, wet, smelly bed all night!!

> After a week of his I was fed up with washing and told her she had to wear

> nappies again. May not have been the right thing to do, but I was getting

> seriously stressed about it!

>

> Oh well - one day maybe!

>

, this is to a tee (she will be 5 on 1st December) we have had a

couple of goes without night time pull-ups but I just get fed up of having a

house full of wet smelly sheets.

It's a hard life this motherhood thing isn't it.

Cerys

[Guest guest]

> Not ideal, but what do you do when they're that unreliable and you go out?

> No point in carting a potty round, because he won't use it, and he's not

> keen to use other people's toilets yet either.

>

>

>

Have to admit - never had this problem cos Caitlin was & is so nosey, first

thing she does whenever we go to a new house is say she needs to go so she

can check out the bathroom!

I know thats not a lot of help! Sorry!!

[Guest guest]

Thanks all for your potty training sympathy/help/advice. He spent all day

in pants. I didn't lose my rag with him, though we had one puddle on the

settee, one on his Gingerbread Man book, one on the computer chair... We

also had 3 wees in the toilet - he's just taken himself upstairs and done it

on his own. When I went up after him at one point, he told me to " go away " ,

so maybe this is the approach he needs - Mr Independant?

Its been a little less stressful today than I hoped, though we did spend a

couple of hours round at a friend's house this afternoon. I put him in

trainer pants, which he just treated as a nappy (actually he pooed in them).

Not ideal, but what do you do when they're that unreliable and you go out?

No point in carting a potty round, because he won't use it, and he's not

keen to use other people's toilets yet either.

[Guest guest]

Think positive, , it could have been six wees round the house instead

of three in the loo and three elsewhere! As for going out, maybe that is a

pleasure you will have to deny yourself for a week or two or only go for one

hour, so he can wee before you go and should be able to hang on for an hour

while you are out. Explain to him that you have to leave early unless he

uses the potty or loo in your friend's house.

Lesley

---------------

Thanks all for your potty training sympathy/help/advice. He spent all day

in pants. I didn't lose my rag with him, though we had one puddle on the

settee, one on his Gingerbread Man book, one on the computer chair... We

also had 3 wees in the toilet - he's just taken himself upstairs and done it

on his own. When I went up after him at one point, he told me to " go away " ,

so maybe this is the approach he needs - Mr Independant?

Its been a little less stressful today than I hoped, though we did spend a

couple of hours round at a friend's house this afternoon. I put him in

trainer pants, which he just treated as a nappy (actually he pooed in them).

Not ideal, but what do you do when they're that unreliable and you go out?

No point in carting a potty round, because he won't use it, and he's not

keen to use other people's toilets yet either.

[Guest guest]

Explain to him that you have to leave early unless he

>uses the potty or loo in your friend's house.

>Lesley

Yes that's a good idea. We have toddler group this morning, a 2 hour

session, with a 20 minute walk either way, and I'm not sure what to do. I

was planning to take him in trainer pants, but am I brave enough to do the

all or nothing approach? Big bag of spare pants and trousers I suppose, and

a folded towel on the seat of the pushchair.

[Guest guest]

> > Not ideal, but what do you do when they're that unreliable and you go

out?

Do you HAVE to go out? Can you rearrange things so that people come to you

for coffee? Can you miss nursery for a bit, or take him on the

understanding that nursery staff will use exactly the same approach as you

do? I know it's tedious, but I literally only left the house for the

absolutely essential things ie the school run at the beginning.

Lynda

SAHM to (7), (5), Fraser(2), Callum 15/5/00

Newsletter editor & general dogsbody, Mid-Northumberland branch

http://albums.photopoint.com/j/AlbumIndex?u=762789 & a=8600069

[Guest guest]

loves 'peeing on trees' when we are out for a walk....

McVeigh wrote:

>

>

> Yes that's a good idea. We have toddler group this morning, a 2 hour

> session, with a 20 minute walk either way, and I'm not sure what to do. I

> was planning to take him in trainer pants, but am I brave enough to do the

> all or nothing approach? Big bag of spare pants and trousers I suppose, and

> a folded towel on the seat of the pushchair.

>

--

Dick,

SAHM to (7/4/97) and Kitty (22/7/99)

and wife of (26/9/66)

Newsletter Editor, Advertising manager

See pictures of us all at:

http://albums.photopoint.com/j/AlbumList?u=848605

Password: Wisley