Re: Rules for the REAL WORLD/daughter stuggling in school....

February 1, 2004

This was not meant to offend anyone! And for rule 8, I believe the author's

message was a simplified statement that children do not need succeed in

their classes to move on to the next grade. There still are some children

who graduate high school that can not read, not to mention fill out a simple

application for a job at Mcs. I do not think the author meant that if

you fail once, quit because you are a loser.

We are dealing with a similar situation with our 12yo daughter. I held her

back in second grade, even though the school advanced her to the 3rd grade.

Not only was she behind academically, socially she was not quite there

either. Even after holding her back, she still is struggling in school. Now,

in sixth grade (first year of middle school), my daughter can not spell and

in my opinion is not at grade level in reading. I expressed my concerns to

the school district many, many times. They stated because she scores among

the average on standardized tests, that there's nothing they can do in this

situation. Unless, I can prove that she has a learning disorder, they will

continue to pass her on to the grade.

When Katelyn was in preschool, she was tested for visual problems. I was

told that she failed convergence and her visual memory was impaired. She was

given eye exercises to do daily along with corrective lenses. We then had

her re-evaulated every year after that. I of course shared these reports

(which showed evidence of Dyslexia) with the school, and they still tell me

that there is not enough evidence for further testing. Well, then I quess

the school district is no longer responsible for teaching my daughter and

working with her possible learning disorder. It is now my job.

Re: [ ] Rules for the REAL WORLD

> >>><<RULE 8

> Your school may have done away with winners and losers,

> but life has not. In some schools they have abolished

> failing grades and they'll give you as many times as

> you want to get the right answer. This doesn't bear the

> slightest resemblance to ANYTHING in real life.

>

February 1, 2004

>>>Unless, I can prove that she has a learning disorder, they will

continue to pass her on to the grade.

That must be so frustrating for you and your daughter. It can be so

damaging to their self esteem and development. I still don't equate the

word " fail " with what you're seeing the school do. I think that students

should be encouraged to keep trying until they get something no matter how

long it takes, which is the principal behind " keep trying till they get it

right " instead of letting them fail. In my opinion trying over and over and

over is what learning is all about..not how fast they can show a specific

skill but that they are working towards it. Albert Einstein did poorly at

school and was failed...at home he was allowed to try and try and try and

learned not getting it is not the same as failing...he went on to do great

things. He had a great mother...it sounds like you are a great mother too

and your daughter thankfully has you as an advocate. Your obvious devotion

to keep trying to get the best for her is so apparent in your post...that is

where your daughter will probably learn the perseverance that they are

denying her in school.

It is the school that fails if they move a child forward without

continuing to try and teach them what they don't yet understand by trying

different methods in the early grades. I consider it a failure if a

student refuses to learn not if they try and don't get it. I don't think

its the student that fails nor should they receive a big F...I think you are

right in that it is the SCHOOL that fails...fails to teach in a way your

child understands, fails to build on strengths and keep going over and over

and over something until they get it...which I believe can be accomplished

even while being moved into a higher grade. Keep in mind I have nothing

against holding back if there are reasons it would be in the childs best

interest socially. My 17 year old is in grade 12 age wise...he has a grade

12 homeroom and is in grade 12 in the yearbook, he has grade 12 friends and

is very social and popular but he takes grade 10 science and history, grade

11 English and math and grade 12 business. He has great self esteem and

working this way is not damaging to him as he is learning to learn and

learning to be successful no matter how long or hard he has to try. He did

not FAIL...he simply works more slowly at learning. He does not have the

capability of learning the amount of information required in the academic

courses he takes in high school due to his brain injury right now but that

does not mean he should have to fail the courses and be pushed on..it just

means we had to be creative. (of course we had to be a very creative since

the school WOULD not as his testing is also too high like your daughters)

We do his major subjects science, English, history and math at home through

correspondence courses that will let him obtain the same high school diploma

as his peers but do the work at his own pace and in the way that makes the

most sense to him) In theory it would be great if the school had what our

children needed to learn all of the time, but sometimes you get a school or

teacher that for whatever reason does not see past what the child does not

do well right now and can be very negative towards the child...sometimes its

better to find a different school..in our case we couldn't, there are no

other schools, so while I didn't choose homeschooling because I am a die

hard supporter of it, it was certainly a better option than fighting a

losing battle and having my childs self esteem at stake...I did that once

before and I will never do it again-It is so damaging to the child. I don't

care how much the law says someone should do something...if they refuse I

will still fight the good fight to change that, but not while my child is in

their school or classroom. I really hope you can find something to help

your daughter. I know how frustrating it can be to watch a child struggle

needlessly. I do hope you can find some support for your daughter in school

Annemarie

Remember: Amateurs built the ark. Professionals built the Titanic.

February 6, 2004

-

Where are you? I might be able to give some advice about your 12 yr old.

email me off list if you want.

in PA

Emery <jahnk@...> wrote: