Re: Getting through Christmas

[Guest guest]

I had one problem regarding receiving a food package also. I did not open any of

the inside things and closed it up and gave it away ASAP. But I had trouble

finding someone to give it too as it was so " NOT HEALTHY EATING " . I gave it to

people who are not into health and would still enjoy those things. I hope not to

have to give away unhealthy food again. I found it hard because of caring for

the people I give to. I had NO desire to EAT that food. We give our garbage to

the wild animals here but would not think of feeding that stuff to them. It was

a problem. G

[Guest guest]

I am cooking the holiday turkey dinner and I am making wise choices that I can

eat and adding only a few foods for those not limited in carbs etc. I made a

diet jello salad for my diabetic friend and me to enjoy and I think the others

will not even know it is not regular jello. We shall see. It has protein in it

also. I think all of us will be satisfied and feel we had a regular celebration

feast. I was first diagnosed just before Thanksgiving and this is my second

holiday meal. I did not cook the first one. G

[Guest guest]

>I admit I'm no brain and am at a loss as to how I can explain to my

hubby why he should avoid these things when his brother and SIL are telling

him otherwise and his Dr is no help thinking the ADA diet is the answer.

Told hubby I'd ask you all to help clairfy this. Also any suggestions on

how to get his woman to stop sending this stuff I have to hide till I can

get rid of it, hard to do since he picks up the mail daily so gets it all

first.

Kathy<

Boy, can I sympathize, Kathy. My mother-in-law (also diabetic) sent her

usual homemade candies and cookies this year. Fortunately, my husband knows

what they will do to him, so we gave them all away after he had one of his

favorite cookie.

It sounds like your husband really respects your input and believes the

information you're sharing with him. All you can do is present him with the

facts. He's an adult and has to make the decision himself on what to put in

his mouth. He's responsible for his illness, after all. I know exactly how

you feel, though. When my husband was diagnosed, I was trying to control

everything that went into his mouth. Not healthy for our relationship.

After all, we're husband and wife, not mother and son. It's all I can do

sometimes to keep my mouth shut when he's not testing as much as *I* think

he should or if he's not exercising as much as *I* think he should. It's

funny, though, I listen to him talking to his mother sometimes, and he

sounds just like me! He gets so frustrated with her because her doctor told

her she can eat whatever she wants, essentially. I guess her doctor figures

that, since she's 76 and was recently diagnosed, she won't live long enough

to suffer the ravages of the disease. It sure drives my husband crazy,

though. I just remind him how he feels when I do that to him.

Maybe you can explain to your husband why you get so upset. I told

that I get upset because I love him so much and don't want him to lose his

feet or go blind or be on dialysis or worse.

You're doing a wonderful job, Kathy. Now, give yourself a big hug and know

that you're doing all you can.

Happy holidays,

Becky

My horses are barefoot...naturally!

_________________________________________________________________

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[Guest guest]

I think it would be rude not to accept with a note of pleasure and then do

whatever we need to do. I do not think my gift givers were bad, just not

informed on what is good food. G

[Guest guest]

My family knows that if they want a high carb dish for a family dinner

at my house they have to bring it with them and take it away when they

leave. So this year's menu is: prime rib roast (0), 3-day locarb yams

(4) broccoli w/cheese sauce(3), asparagus in butter,

olives/pickles/tomato slices, and locarb cheesecake(4) which came out of

the oven this morning and is now residing in the fridge - by tomorrow

evening it will be covered with whipped cream/raspberries/blackberries.

The only cookies available will be one gingerbread person each for the

GCs. DIL will no doubt bring a potato dish. The bread is Atkins

cornbread muffins and some Atkins rye with butter and garlic powder. So

the total carb count for the meal will no doubt equal my usual 30

carbs/day, but it sure beats killing myself over one Christmas dinner.

After all, we do Christmas every year and I already know what all the

truly dangerous foods taste like, so why repeat the deadly experience.

CarolR

[Guest guest]

I wonder how really rude it would be for us to send messages to all of these

wonderful gift givers and tell them that we can no longer accept any food

packages on holidays, or at any time actually, due to health reasons? We

could include it in our thank you note for this year's food gift, being

really effusive in our thanks and appreciation and how really kind and

wonderful they were to send us such a thoughtful gift. Then end by saying

that much to our chagrin we will no longer be able to accept food gifts due

to our health. If they are so obtuse and horribly rude as to continue to

send the food anyway then next year a reminder note about not accepting food

due to our health and then telling them that the food was greatly

appreciated by the local food program, or homeless shelter, or whatever.

linda

----- Original Message -----

> I had one problem regarding receiving a food package also. I did not open

any of the inside things and closed it up and gave it away ASAP. But I had

trouble finding someone to give it too as it was so " NOT HEALTHY EATING " .

[Guest guest]

I don't have anyone who does this to me, but I think its a great suggestion.

I especially think writing a note and saying we can't accept this, but our

local Women's Shelter, Home for Unwed Mothers, or what ever you have in your

community is wonderful. If they send it on to you instead, just follow up

and take it to a Shelter, let the Shelter provide a thank you!

Perfect, !

Jo in MN, wishing everyone Happy Holidays

Re: Getting through Christmas

> I wonder how really rude it would be for us to send messages to all of

these

> wonderful gift givers and tell them that we can no longer accept any food

> packages on holidays, or at any time actually, due to health reasons? We

> could include it in our thank you note for this year's food gift, being

[Guest guest]

It is not at all rude to expect people to graciously accept your dietary

restrictions - most of us offer food as a gift of love. In the case of

someone with diabetes the usual holiday goodies are NOT gifts of love -

they are quite the opposite, and most people would want to know that so

they can direct their efforts where they won't be wasted. What IS rude

is to know that someone is unable to consume sugary treats and to

continue to offer them even tho they are known to be going in the trash.

We are not rude when we take care of ourselves. We ARE rude when we

fail to take care of ourselves and leave our families and loved ones to

pick up the pieces of advanced disease and early death.

CarolR

[Guest guest]

I am actually more optimistic that people will then understand and really

don't want to harm us. If you have already informed them of your diabetes

and that you are unable to eat outside a certain diet and they continue to

send you forbidden foods their behavior is very passive aggressive and

really trying to tell you something. I actually don't think that what I

suggested is rude, just straight forward and honest. It gives the other

person the opportunity to grow and take you seriously. To me to accept the

package and write a letter of pleasure when the gift is actually harmful to

you and they know it is not being honest in an appropriate manner. I am

strong on manners, but I will also say that for those people that are acting

in this passive aggressive manner of sending you foods that they know you

cannot eat requires a more straight forward approach. To pretend that you

have enjoyed the foods, but you have palmed it off on others seems to me to

be unacceptable. You have also missed a " teaching moment " about diabetes.No

one ever said that they were " bad. " But if you have told them that you

cannot eat foods with sugar and flour in them and they have sent cookies to

you anyway is the height of rudeness. We just have to be careful of how we

respond so that our response is also not rude or passive aggressive. My

suggestion stands. Think of this way: if they sent a loaded gun to your

children would you be polite, accept it and thank them for it? Please, I

don't apply my suggestion to other gifts regardless of how ugly....

linda

----- Original Message -----

> I think it would be rude not to accept with a note of pleasure and then do

whatever we need to do. I do not think my gift givers were bad, just not

informed on what is good food. G

[Guest guest]

I am a diabetic and I would graciously thank them for the gift and accept it in

the manner in which it was intended....some pleople like to send or give baked

goods for Christmas, because they can be boxed and shipped through the

mail...they can't send carrot sticks and celery....and there are many of us who

have a far worse reaction to Alcohol sugars, known as sugar free...it would be

much better for me to make an allowance in my diet to eat one for a day to two,

so I could say how good they were. Am I going to hurt their feelings..No. No

more than I would someone who sent me a jar of peanuts that had salt on them,

because I am on a salt free diet. Would you return a ham to someone because it

had fat, I don't think so.

We can do the same thing that we do for other gifts that we do not or cannot

use, thank them in the manner in which they were given...there is no way that

anyone can make " all " of the people happy " all " of the time.

Would we return a purple scarf, because it wasn't our favorite color?

If we don't want or cannot use something, give it to those who can...do not say

something to make the " giver " feel uncomfortable...they may never send anything

else.

Years ago, I took great pleasure in shopping to get gifts for my neigborhood

friends, walking all day in malls trying to find that " right " gift that the

whole family could use and enjoy, so I got each of the families a nice popcorn

maker....I was so happy with giving the present...one day when the children were

down at my house, I asked them how were they enjoying the popcorn maker, they

had told me ahead of time that they did not have one. When a couple of children

from two different families, told me that their mother would not let them use

their's, that they had to put it on the shelf in the closet to use it for a gift

for someone else. I was so HURT...that was over 25 years ago, gift giving is

not the same anymore, except for close members of my family...I don't give " so

called " friends gifts anymore. We talk and visit with each other, but no more

gift giving to any extent.

Eleanor

[Guest guest]

He gets more exercise than most of us do, with all the walking and lifting that

a mail carrier does, so he can probably tolerate it better than we can.

Re: Getting through Christmas

I think your only other real option is to run out to the mailbox, and make

that package a gift to the mailman (not that he needs all that sugar either!).

[Guest guest]

I've had good luck telling people outright what I can't eat, and what I'd

appreciate in its place. I got a lovely basket of fresh, organic fruit from my

neighbor, and I know that much of it will be eaten by my houseguests this week,

and the citrus used in cooking.

My father, when he was alive, got the message after he was diagnosed as

diabetic, and stopped sending me crates of jams and jellies, replacing them with

nuts or cheese assortments (which works for me).

In the case of one relative who really felt food=love and homemade food is the

highest blessing, I gathered together some of my favorite low-carb recipes and

information on where to get the " special ingredients " and sent it to her with a

nice note. She really enjoyed making me something I could actually eat!

--

el (andreafrankel at sbcglobal dot net)

" wake now! Discover that YOU are the song that the morning brings... "

[Guest guest]

My Christmas Eve Celebration Dinner is over and I got a lovely cup filled with

nice candies that I will not eat but husband will. I got a box of my favorite

chocolates, husband will also eat that. But I got 3 gorgeous ornaments along

with food fragrant candles, which I think will be a delight. One is cinnamon

roll smell and the other some sort of pie. Nice to smell the goodies and not

have to eat them. It was not too bad. I gave one diabetic guest a huge container

of cinnamon and she was pleased. She believes it helps. G

[Guest guest]

My offending gift was not bad for diabetics it was just bad food. They did not

know better. And they are very old to learn as ----one is 96 years. I don't

think I need to school them now. Even in my gifts tonight. The people did not

know better and one of us can still eat the foods. Next year might be different

people, different gifts. I like to give flowers myself. I will never tell

someone I gave their gift away. G

[Guest guest]

I'm giving myself a gift for Christmas this year - a totally

non-traditional dinner. I asked my husband if he cared if we had something

different and he asked what I had in mind... tomorrow's menu includes

teriyaki/ginger marinated steak, grilled pineapple, green beans with

almonds, a large tossed salad, and out of consideration for hubby's

favorite foods, sugar-free chocolate pudding with a bit of whipped

cream. The marinade has some sugar in it which should largely burn off in

the grilling process, I hope. Otherwise, I've managed to come up with a

menu that keeps everyone happy with no heavy starches. It still has carbs,

but seems balanced and far healthier than what we had for Thanksgiving.

Anne

[Guest guest]

As for myself I wouldn't feel real comfortable in doing that...seems a

little like slapping them I suppose to me, but it may just be the way I am

looking at it. I suppose to it would depend on just how long it has been

going on despite explanations to them about the food/diabetes. I can see

myself doing it I suppose if the situation had deteriorated to the point

that I was convinced that they were doing it out of spite. Although I guess

what I would do is write them to tell them to please not send me anymore

gifts period and then send it back if they did.

linda

----- Original Message -----

> What if we sent the offending food item back to the giver with a note

reminding them that we cannot accept it?

[Guest guest]

My father still hasn't figured it out. But I forgive him since he is

elderly. He sent jams and jellies which is better than the candy he sent

last year. LOL I have learned though from all of this that since I can't

be sure of what people can and do eat (due to preference or dietary

restrictions) that food isn't the best kind of gift to give. So, now I do

things like give candles which seems appropriate for the season. The bees

wax type. It is just as inexpensive for those neighbors or distant relatives

as baking and shipping. For me I can't even do the fruit thing and would

find that more difficult to not eat than cookies or fudge. (well, fudge

might be pushing my will power a bit too far)

linda

----- Original Message -----

> I've had good luck telling people outright what I can't eat, and what I'd

appreciate in its place. I got a lovely basket of fresh, organic fruit from

my neighbor, and I know that much of it will be eaten by my houseguests this

week, and the citrus used in cooking. >

> My father, when he was alive, got the message after he was diagnosed as

diabetic, and stopped sending me crates of jams and jellies, replacing them

with nuts or cheese assortments (which works for me).

[Guest guest]

Well, of course you wouldn't do anything but thank them in this case.

Discretion is part of good manners and laying this kind of trip on them

about gifts would be really terrible. Compassion is far more important than

educating or being honest under this circumstance. One must use good

judgement and not generalize any solution as fitting every situation.

linda

----- Original Message -----

> My offending gift was not bad for diabetics it was just bad food. They did

not know better. And they are very old to learn as ----one is 96 years. I

don't think I need to school them now. Even in my gifts tonight. The people

did not know better and one of us can still eat the foods. Next year might

be different people, different gifts. I like to give flowers myself. I will

never tell someone I gave their gift away. G

[Guest guest]

The difference is that we were speaking about people who persist in sending

us sugary foods that they know we cannot eat and that know is bad for us,

that we have spoken to them about previously and in depth. We are talking

about passive aggressive behavior that is meant to convey something quite

different than generosity. It has nothing to do with what you are speaking

about...the unintended inappropriate foods sent with care/love. That is a

whole different matter for which one must express their appreciation and

accept regardless of how we feel about the gift. That though is not how this

conversation got started. Perhaps you missed the original posts about this

subject because your examples do not reflect what the original problem was.

I certainly agree with what you have said though in the context that you are

speaking about.

linda

----- Original Message -----

> I am a diabetic and I would graciously thank them for the gift and accept

it in the manner in which it was intended....Am I going to hurt their

feelings..No. No more than I would someone who sent me a jar of peanuts

that had salt on them, because I am on a salt free diet. Would you return a

ham to someone because it had fat, I don't think so.

>

> We can do the same thing that we do for other gifts that we do not or

cannot use, thank them in the manner in which they were given...there is no

way that anyone can make " all " of the people happy " all " of the time.

[Guest guest]

Having read all the mails regarding unsuitable sweet xmas gifts my approach

would be as follows.try a little piece of the offensive food stuff and then pass

it to a local charity or some group that would make use of it.Next time i saw

the sender of the gift i would thank them for the gift, let them know that i

tasted a little piece of it but due to my medical condition i could not eat it

so i passed it to a charity that could make use of it and it would be

appreciated in future that if they wished to send me a gift it was not foodstuff

of any kind.This approach should get the message across in a friendly manner

without causing any ill will.

[Guest guest]

I had fourteen for buffet dinner last night. Seven of us were on Atkins

although not as strictly as we are. My husband and I are on it because he is a

diabetic and it is an easy way for us to follow a low carb diet.

One of the guests was worried he would have nothing to eat as he was on

Atkins. Imagine his surprise when I showed him all the goodies available that

were

all Atkins friendly! He couldn't believe it! LC Eggnog, LC Pumpkin Cheese

Cake, LC chicken wings--two types, LC meats and cheeses, LC Salmon Pate, nuts,

basic vegetables with LC dip.

It was fun to have all that available.

I had bread and a beautiful assortment of holiday cookies on hand for those

that weren't on Atkins.

Some brought gifts with them. High carb sweet wines, a tin full of great

chocolates.

So how have I handled all the goodies? Some, my very favorites. I didn't

buy the cookies until just before the party. And before I bought them I paid a

small fortune for some Low Carb cookies and LC ice cream. I have LC pizza

crust on hand if we want bread. Because all of the left over food is remaining

in the house! The great uncut, loaves of bread, the almost full box of candy

(we have LC candy in the house also). Do I think the food will be a problem?

If it becomes a problem it will be thrown. We still have candy bars from

Halloween in the house and they haven't been a problem. I keep this food out of

sight and LC food substations on hand if we feel we just have to have

something. Even then, we seldom eat them. The last carton of ice cream lasted

2.5

months--and my DH is an ice creamaholic! We do have the occasional guest that

will eat high carb so I want to keep it on hand as long as we don't have even

one bite. That is the rule. No tasting even.

Does this work? Only time will tell. But my husband had a reading of 64

this morning after the night of partying and eating. So far so good.

If we didn't have alternatives on hand, then I think there would be a

problem.

This is what has worked for us.

Janet S.

[Guest guest]

In a message dated 12/25/2003 7:58:52 PM Central Standard Time,

willthered@... writes:

> try a little piece of the offensive food stuff and then pass it to a local

> charity or some group that would make use of it.Next time i saw the sender of

> the gift i would thank them for the gift,

I have also taken the sweets and leftovers and dropped them off at the

firestation. The guys appreciate it....and they certainly can burn it off

better

than me.

Each year since my diagnosis I have made less and less of the sweet

stuff....my family doesn't say much. This year there was one tin of

Sonoma

Toffee...it was a gift...and that was all there was...they enjoyed a few pieces

but were more interested in going out the door to see the new Hobbit

movie.....

I have perfected a triple layer jello that is diabetic.....the top layer is

sugar free jello and unsweetened smashed strawberries....3 cups of strawberries

for 2 jellos that feed about 20 each one...not a lot in each serving

The middle layer is made with half and half, splenda, sour cream and Knox

jello....

the last layer is sugar free mixed berry jello and blueberries. I get the

canned ones and rinse the syrup off them....

Its a treat and one of the traditional family foods that I have converted.

I should figure out the carb count on this one day but since I make it once a

year and have one slice....doesn't seem worth the bother.

Joyful Season to all

Ressy

[Guest guest]

My uncle is an alcoholic; they do keep liquor in the house for guests, but

that's the rule he follows--not even a sip. High carb. foods are to us what

booze is to him.

Re: Getting through Christmas

We do have the occasional guest that

will eat high carb so I want to keep it on hand as long as we don't have even

one bite. That is the rule. No tasting even.

[Guest guest]

I had another slice of my diet jello dish that I served Christmas Eve to the

company. No one could tell the difference. I have two slices left to enjoy with

my meals. It feels good to have converted this recipe. G