YOU do contribute!!!!

[Guest guest]

debbie, jodi-you both contribute so much-i am thinking that you are

so tired(I feel like i will never stop being tired!), and so

overwhelmed, and well-SO depleted emotionally-as is PAR for the

course i believe, when we are truly " in there " helping our sick

kids...when i read your posts-YOU allow me to not feel alone, YOU

let me know that there is another parent who not only has the

courage to stay in there BUT, AS IMPORTANT, one that has even more

courage, to let others know that it is OK to not do so great

sometimes, and sometimes miserably fall on our faces-it is SO very

important that we all feel we are able to vent THOSE moments-not

just " submit " a cookbook " list of " how to's " and " helpful hints " -

this illness is not that easy..

i wish i could tell you BOTH how much i enjoy your posts-i know i

know " enjoy " sounds like a strange word to use-BUT i AM comforted, i

do look for you guys to write-you let me feel " at home " -almost, or

as close as I am going to get, in the foreseeable future-to my

younger adult years when my friends and I lived in the city and

monthly(EVERY month) they would come to my apt in Chelsae(NYC) and i

would cook, and we would drink wine...and talk about our guys. THAT

was bliss. and this group can be so good for us if we can do that

for each other-i hope in some way i do...i try. IF we are to remain

strong enough to bear our children's illness, AND stay even stronger

to be able to help them, then i know, for ME, it is essential that i

have the understanding, and support and compassion i have found from

YOU. before this group i did not do the kind of really helpful,

productive work i can now. before this group, i wondered if I would

EVER stop the pain and loss and sadness so i could really give 100%

of myself to helping her(remember she was only 9, still only now a

very young ten, so i DO tend to feel it is OK to give to her, what

would be TOO much, for an older , independent teen, or esp an

adult). THIS group got me past myself, and my feelings to a place

where because i could " live " again, i was able to make great strides

in my parenting of HER. i am lucky to have her therapist available

to me- " tutoring " me, in the right parenting for my individual very

seriously borderline dtr. i tell her what happens-i dont gloss over

if i have lost my temper, or i feel that my ego has been " injured " -

doing THAT would be selfish-i tell her the unvarnished truth AND she

does the same-no punches pulled. since she is a psychologist(PhD)

and i'm psych. the communication goes very quickly(and at those

rates it better!). but i am so grateful to have her-as a (close as

possible to) objective observer of not only my dtr and my

interaction as i recall it-but to pick up on those unsaid, all

important non-verbal communications 5that i think can be much more

destructive than the spoken words.

anyway, i just wanted to say that i APPRECIATE you and would miss

you if you didnt post. much love, rivka