**Re: Crossed The Line*****

[Guest guest]

Colette -

I have a unique way to solve this - and it will scare the hell out of

the school district. It takes a bit of legwork and advance planning

on your part, but I'll help. Bring in the Press.

First off, you've got to find someone sympathetic to your plight. Is

there a TV anchorperson who tends to do advocacy for kids/families?

Is there someone who discusses health issues? Why don't you email me

privately about contacting this person and we'll talk about how to do

it. You do need to be willing to appear - perhaps they will cloak

you - but the more upfront you are, the better.

Then, the next step is to ask the busdriver, other parents who have

witnessed abuse, and the person from " institutional abuse " you spoke

with before. The more you can make this seem systemic (and it IS

systemic - you shouldn't have a problem), the more likely they are to

follow up.

You'd be amazed how quickly agencies and schools will snap to it when

exposed.

Finally, I would focus not just on the bathroom incident, but on the

overall attitude of the teacher/aide - the fact that other parents

have witnessed her " going off on " your son. Then the bathroom

incident DOES look like abuse and not just an incredibly misinformed,

ill-educated slob who made a judgement error, but one of a systematic

line of abusive behaviour.

Also, seek out other children who have aides in the school district.

Start asking around about other problems. Sometimes all it takes is

one brave person to stand up and others come out of the woodwork.

Find out where these women went to school. Talk to the

administrators there about what happened and see if they have

SPECIFICS in their curricula that would label this type of behaviour

abhorrent.

In the end, you want the abuse to stop. You want these women fired

and you want to BE SURE they are not able to continue in this

profession.

The state attorney general is often VERY helpful. You can find their

number in the phone book government pages. Explain that you need a

clear description of " abusive behaviour " .

Feel free to email me privately about contacting the press.

Willingness to appear is key - so think about it.

Good luck - Marina

In , " Colette Zaccaria "

<colettezaccaria@h...> wrote:

> Hi!

> Thanks for all your support and thoughts for my son and I.

> Someone had asked how old my son is-he is 4.

> I haven't spoken to my school district since filing my complaint

Friday. I

> am trying to get an advocate. I will not attend a meeting without

some kind

> of representation. At this point-this is frustrating.

> Also, today I put a complaint into " Institutional Abuse " -they are

supposed

> to look into abuse that occurs in schools. Well, I call them

> and----------when the teacher and aid placed my son in a chair, in

the

> bathroom, shut the lights and closed the door on him. And didn't

do this

> once but twice-he told me this isn't considered abuse. " They " will

only go

> out an investigate if a child is physically abused by a teacher or

aid. So,

> mental abuse does not count. Boy, did I have a few words to say to

him

> about the system.

> The gentleman told me at the agency that most of the calls are about

> teachers/aids verbally abusing children and he said it is sad,

because there

> isn't anything they can do about it. That is Terrible. It makes me

> wonder-should I send my son who is verbal-but not able yet to tell

me about

> his day, to school? Or should I wait until I feel he can tell me

when there

> is something not right going on? I have little trust at this point.

> Colette in NJ

>

>