Re: Tantrums/Need Urgent advise from Moms of 4 yo just starting speech therapy

March 9, 2004

Oh Traci, I know exactly what you are talking about!!! I remember talking

with that is back on the list now & saying, " Will it get better???? "

Thank you for keeping me sane & taking the time to talk to me!!

And yes, it did. began speech therapy at 33 months of age. He was

completely nonverbal with the exception of 3 word approximations. I always

felt as though he went through the terrible 2's at 3. But with my normal

developing first child who is now 23 I called it the awesome 3's. And not

using awesome in a good way!!! is now going to be 6 in April & he has

been my biggest challenge. I often kid & say if he had been my first he'd

been my only. But on the other hand watching him come so far has been soooo

rewarding. He is in a mainstream kindergarten class with group speech

therapy 120 minutes per week. He talks in 5 word sentences understood most

of the time by others. He still has melt downs but they are not as often or

as bad. I think he is really trying me now. But of all my children he is

my most loving & I get over being mad at him when he wants to sit in my lap

to cuddle. Hang in there, I know how bad it seems but there is hope!!

Email me anytime.

Tammy I. in FL mom to almost 6, 8, 19 & 23

From: " traciclem " <sjtlc@...>

Reply-

Subject: [ ] Tantrums/Need Urgent advise from Moms of 4 yo

just starting speech therapy

Date: Tue, 09 Mar 2004 22:24:25 -0000

March 9, 2004

hi traci,

My son is 4 years old and yes he had his terrible 2's at 31/2 and still has some

major meltdowns. It freaks me out and I get sooo disappointed in him because he

is too old for some of the behavior he does. My son speech is at a 1-2 year old

but what he understands is sooo much more. I sometimes think the behavior is

because here is my boys voice and its trapped and it can't get out. screaming

he can do, very well I must say(lol). Don't worry it calms down. He def does

not get away with the behavior but when he is good I do try to give him just a

little more love. it is just a stage and will get better. i have friends with

typical speaking children and they complain abpout the same things I do, sooo

other 4 year old still tantrum. I think because we had such good toddlers we

get more shocked about the behavior that is happening at an older age. I think I

also get more upset because he already stands out because he can't really talk

and when he acts out, I think people think

he's worst than he really is. but all parents are embarressed when their child

acts out. just know your not alone and you can e-mail anytime. you sound just

like me. I'm a special educator and get sooo confused.

I hope this helped

chris

traciclem <sjtlc@...> wrote:

Hi out there, can anyone please tell me if they have started their

apraxic child with speech at a later age (and not 2 1/2 or 3) im

talking more like 3 1/2 and 4 yo. I need to know if what im going

through with my dd and her speech frustrations is typical for her age

with apraxia. It would be great if I could hear from anyone that

started late (3 1/2, 4) and their child is older now and the outcome.

I just need some support from those of you who have been there and at

this age with their children. Also has anyones children who started

at this age had their terible two's at 4! My dd's SLP keeps saying

that these tantrums are that of a 2 yo because my dd never really

went through her terible two's at 2. Im sorry if im confusing

anyone, we just had another trying day. Speech went smoothly but

went to Burger King that had the " Fun land " and when it was time to

leave we had a MAJOR tantrum, she was totally besides herself and so

was I. I hope you are out there because I really really could use

the support right now.

Thanks

Traci Clemente

March 9, 2004

Been there, done that. My daughter is 7. She can still have

terrible meltdowns, but not as bad as when she was younger. She had

terrible, terrible tantrums at 3 and 4. She was not verbal until

almost 5 1/2. She started saying simple sentences " I want more "

when she was 4 1/2, but she didn't say much more than that.

I do not have the answers for you. She was big enough to hurt me,

and she I could not carry her. I tried to avoid most occasions when

I thought she might have one. If she was tired, I tried to get her

home and taking a nap. Even if she was taking a nap at 5pm, it was

better than her having meltdowns until 8pm.

If we were at home when was having a tantrum, I would just put

her in her room. After a while, she would either fall asleep, get

involved in something else, or let me comfort her.

If we were out in public, it was hard. I would try to get her into

our car. I tried to calm her down, but sometimes I would just have

to wait her out (and that could take 1/2 hour).

I made things worse by doing one thing wrong. Once started

asking for things, I immediately started saying okay. She would

say " I want cookie " , and I would give her one. She would ask " I

want bubble gum " , and I would give her it. etc.

After awhile of this, I realized she needed to hear " no " . I couldn't

always give into her wants. Well, this set off the worst tantrums

of all. All H*** broke out.

The worst was at a take-out restaurant. She asked for some soda,

and I didn't have the money for it, so I said " no " . She lost it.

I could barely get her outside the restaurant. I literally

straddled her to keep her from running into the parking lot. After

about 20 minutes of this, I finally got her into the car. She then

would not stay buckled in her car seat, and she screamed for about

another 20-30 minutes. Of course, my other 2 children were with

me. Thank God, they were very sweet. They did everything I asked

them and never complained.

The good news is that was the worst, and her tantrums got much

better after that. She learned that she wasn't always going to get

her way.

She is also talking much better, and she can finally communicate her

needs and wants.

Now, she still has small tantrums, but she gets over them quickly. I

don't remember the last one she had in public. She tends to keep it

together around other people. She has never had one at school.

No one really helped me to handle these tantrums. The pediatrician

was useless. I went to one child psychologist who recommended a

book. The book talked about needing to communicate better with your

child. (I was like no kidding. If she could communicate better,

there wouldn't be an issue.)

Good luck!

March 9, 2004

HI! I think I can give you some insight. My daughter started speech at 3

1/2 and she is now 5 years old. It has been a long and sometimes painful

journey. Progress sometimes is great and other times is slow. We went through

exactly what you are experiencing. It will pass. I recommend string your child

on ProEfa twice a day. We have done this since july and we have made big

progress. She has speech twice a week for 45 min intervals. Sometimes she sits

and does real well and other times she does just ok. Since starting Proefa the

tantrums are better, but we still have occasional meltdowns. is in

preschool and keeping up with her class, but we work with her every night to

make things easier. If you need more specifics jsut ask i think i can help.

Hillary