Re: ***Crossed the Line********

[Guest guest]

i think that is just awful.. i would be fuming too!!.....i wish i had more

advice to give you, but i would not let this go unnoticed.... when kids are

hurting and upset in some way, you will see a difference in their actions..

..... Debbie

[Guest guest]

Your post made me cry.

I can't believe it.

I don't know who you can call. First call the school and tell them

to transfer him immediately to another class. Those women are

causing harm. They should also provide you with an emergency IEP

meeting, so you can discuss immediate changes. They need to hook him

up with a consular so he can start the process of healing the damage

they have done.

I am so sorry,

Heidi –SAHM to 7, 4-1/2 (DSI, Apraxia) 10-1/2

months (VUR, Tort/Plagio-DOC Banded 2/14/03)

> Hi Everyone!

> You may all know and recall my previous posts regarding my son

and his noncompliant behavior recently in school. I did get

great responses to my post and I thank you all again. I should have

listened to you a little more closer.

> I would like to share a note I got home from my sons teacher today:

> The teacher writes to me exactly this:

> Today, we had a new behavior, after he went to the bathroom, he

would not come out to wash his hands and have snack. He kept hiding

in the bathroom. Opening and closing the door. I let him do this

for a while to see what would happen but it continued. Then I told

him I would eat his snack and did (1 cookie) but that didn't seem to

make a difference. The bathhroom game had to stop, so I put his

chair in the bathroom. We (meaning the teacher and aid) sat him in

his chair, I shut off the lights and closed the door. (He was in

there for less than one minute) I wanted to see if this would make a

difference. He didn't like it but when we took him out he dropped to

the floor, so we did it again. On the second try, when I took him

out he came with me to get his snack and eat. That is now (10:50)

when I am writing I am not sure what dismissal will bring.

> ***Yes that is exactly what she wrote.

> I put a call into the superintendants office-filing a complaint.

And will be calling Division of Youth and Family Services this

weekend to put an investigation team into the classroom.

> The bus driver has also, reported verbal abuse on several occasions

over the past month-the aid " going off on " as she said. She

just started carrying a recorder on the bus.

> A parent also, informed me today that she has also, seen my son

being inappropriately treated and would be happy to say something-

also she has some video. She said she is sorry she didn't come to me

sooner.

> I am in Northern New Jersey:

> I have called SPAN and NJ PRotection and Advocacy-but they say it

takes a about a week to get an advocate to call me.

> I don't have a lot of money-I am thinking of an Educational

Lawyer???

>

> If anyone can give me a name to call-------------or somewhere to

help me-------------------

> I am very organized and have everything documented and in writing-

so I do have " my stuff together "

>

> My son is APraxic and can't tell me what's happening. Now I know

why since Jan. 2nd he hasn't wanted to go to school

> And I trusted these people---------------I am _________________

can't even find the word that I feel.

> Thank you,

> Colette

[Guest guest]

Collette,

I don't have any advise on this, but I did want to say I'm so sorry

this happened to your son! I'm horrified that a teacher would do

such a thing! I can't even imagine how you must feel because I know

I would be crazy angry. I'm glad to hear you've already took steps

to have this teacher & aid investigated. My heart goes out to you &

your son.

Wendie

> Hi Everyone!

> You may all know and recall my previous posts regarding my son

and his noncompliant behavior recently in school. I did get

great responses to my post and I thank you all again. I should have

listened to you a little more closer.

> I would like to share a note I got home from my sons teacher today:

> The teacher writes to me exactly this:

> Today, we had a new behavior, after he went to the bathroom, he

would not come out to wash his hands and have snack. He kept hiding

in the bathroom. Opening and closing the door. I let him do this

for a while to see what would happen but it continued. Then I told

him I would eat his snack and did (1 cookie) but that didn't seem to

make a difference. The bathhroom game had to stop, so I put his

chair in the bathroom. We (meaning the teacher and aid) sat him in

his chair, I shut off the lights and closed the door. (He was in

there for less than one minute) I wanted to see if this would make a

difference. He didn't like it but when we took him out he dropped to

the floor, so we did it again. On the second try, when I took him

out he came with me to get his snack and eat. That is now (10:50)

when I am writing I am not sure what dismissal will bring.

> ***Yes that is exactly what she wrote.

[Guest guest]

I am appaaled that those " teachers " have the nerve to treat your

child like this! You do everything you have to do to get to the

bottom of this! I would go straight to the principal in person and

request an emergency meeting with her and then call the school board

and superintendant! Do NOT let them get away with this behaviour to

your son. Not only will it continue but they will continue to do it

to other children as well!! That is absolutely ridiculous and I am

mad for you!! Hope someone in your area can give you some extra names

to contact! Good luck!

Viv in Phoenix

> Hi Everyone!

> You may all know and recall my previous posts regarding my son

and his noncompliant behavior recently in school. I did get

great responses to my post and I thank you all again. I should have

listened to you a little more closer.

> I would like to share a note I got home from my sons teacher today:

> The teacher writes to me exactly this:

> Today, we had a new behavior, after he went to the bathroom, he

would not come out to wash his hands and have snack. He kept hiding

in the bathroom. Opening and closing the door. I let him do this

for a while to see what would happen but it continued. Then I told

him I would eat his snack and did (1 cookie) but that didn't seem to

make a difference. The bathhroom game had to stop, so I put his

chair in the bathroom. We (meaning the teacher and aid) sat him in

his chair, I shut off the lights and closed the door. (He was in

there for less than one minute) I wanted to see if this would make a

difference. He didn't like it but when we took him out he dropped to

the floor, so we did it again. On the second try, when I took him

out he came with me to get his snack and eat. That is now (10:50)

when I am writing I am not sure what dismissal will bring.

> ***Yes that is exactly what she wrote.

> I put a call into the superintendants office-filing a complaint.

And will be calling Division of Youth and Family Services this

weekend to put an investigation team into the classroom.

> The bus driver has also, reported verbal abuse on several occasions

over the past month-the aid " going off on " as she said. She

just started carrying a recorder on the bus.

> A parent also, informed me today that she has also, seen my son

being inappropriately treated and would be happy to say something-

also she has some video. She said she is sorry she didn't come to me

sooner.

> I am in Northern New Jersey:

> I have called SPAN and NJ PRotection and Advocacy-but they say it

takes a about a week to get an advocate to call me.

> I don't have a lot of money-I am thinking of an Educational

Lawyer???

>

> If anyone can give me a name to call-------------or somewhere to

help me-------------------

> I am very organized and have everything documented and in writing-

so I do have " my stuff together "

>

> My son is APraxic and can't tell me what's happening. Now I know

why since Jan. 2nd he hasn't wanted to go to school

> And I trusted these people---------------I am _________________

can't even find the word that I feel.

> Thank you,

> Colette

[Guest guest]

Colette, I want to extend my sincerest sympathy. I believe it is obvious

that these women have problems. I teach Behaviorally and Emotionally

Disturbed children and I would never dream of doing this. This is

clearly abuse! You are in my thoughts and prayers. I pray these women

will lose their jobs or be severely punished. You are doing the right

thing. Have your son transferred under the No Child Left Behind Act, and

say that you fear for his safety. Praying for you, your family, and your

son the innocent victim of two women who are portraying themselves as

professionals. EC Teacher, Graduate Student, Mother of four

severe-profound global apraxic children with other issues as well.

[ ] ***Crossed the Line********

Hi Everyone!

You may all know and recall my previous posts regarding my son

and his noncompliant behavior recently in school. I did get great

responses to my post and I thank you all again. I should have listened

to you a little more closer.

I would like to share a note I got home from my sons teacher today:

The teacher writes to me exactly this:

Today, we had a new behavior, after he went to the bathroom, he would

not come out to wash his hands and have snack. He kept hiding in the

bathroom. Opening and closing the door. I let him do this for a while

to see what would happen but it continued. Then I told him I would eat

his snack and did (1 cookie) but that didn't seem to make a difference.

The bathhroom game had to stop, so I put his chair in the bathroom. We

(meaning the teacher and aid) sat him in his chair, I shut off the

lights and closed the door. (He was in there for less than one minute)

I wanted to see if this would make a difference. He didn't like it but

when we took him out he dropped to the floor, so we did it again. On

the second try, when I took him out he came with me to get his snack and

eat. That is now (10:50) when I am writing I am not sure what dismissal

will bring.

***Yes that is exactly what she wrote.

I put a call into the superintendants office-filing a complaint. And

will be calling Division of Youth and Family Services this weekend to

put an investigation team into the classroom.

The bus driver has also, reported verbal abuse on several occasions over

the past month-the aid " going off on " as she said. She just

started carrying a recorder on the bus.

A parent also, informed me today that she has also, seen my son being

inappropriately treated and would be happy to say something-also she has

some video. She said she is sorry she didn't come to me sooner.

I am in Northern New Jersey:

I have called SPAN and NJ PRotection and Advocacy-but they say it takes

a about a week to get an advocate to call me.

I don't have a lot of money-I am thinking of an Educational Lawyer???

If anyone can give me a name to call-------------or somewhere to help

me-------------------

I am very organized and have everything documented and in writing-so I

do have " my stuff together "

My son is APraxic and can't tell me what's happening. Now I know why

since Jan. 2nd he hasn't wanted to go to school

And I trusted these people---------------I am _________________ can't

even find the word that I feel.

Thank you,

Colette

[Guest guest]

Out of curiosity how old is you son and what grade is he in?

My daughter is non compliant a lot to, but being shut in a dark bathroom

would have scared her to death.

Jennie

[Guest guest]

I am so sorry this person has been in your son class and the teacher

did not stand up and stay this treatment was wrong.

Make sure to keep a copy of that note.

do some reading at the wrightslaw web page. Ann

[Guest guest]

I am saddened by your post. The behavior of the teacher and aide is beyond

belief. I live in Pennsylvania and I know that I can directly contact the State

Department of Education to file a complaint. This process often moves quickly

and really can shake up the local school district. It also seems that you need

to request an immediate IEP team meeting to address these issues. Good Luck.

[Guest guest]

Colette,

I am so sorry to hear of this incident and the problems with the teacher and

aide. When the school lost my son ; I lost it. I demanded an emergency

i.e.p. In my school district we have an option to have a program specialist

(legal rep.) that you can request come to the meeting. I would ask for that

person to come, along with the school bus driver, and the other mom. Also

request that the meeting be taped (this always scares them) and bring in the

note from the teacher along with any other corresponse you have that would show

her attuide short comings toward your son. I would talk to other mothers in the

class (maybe when class is let out) and ask if they have also seen or heard

anything. They have a group of parents of special ed children in my area that

was a great resource; I would check into that. What I did was threatened the

school and the school district that I was going to the papers (I said the title

of the article would be: How safe is child at school) tell them (weather it's

true or not) that they have agreed to run the article and you have video and eye

witness (someone that works with the school district) that will testify to the

verbal abuse along with the note from the teacher stated what she did. I would

say that the teacher is not qualified to teach children with special needs she

has no patience and she be knowlegable in how to handle your child and that you

won't continue to let her experiment with yours trying to figure out how to

handle him. Also when I have had issues with the school, I have called

everyone. I would call the principal and not get a call back I kept calling and

then told the secretary I would be coming down to the school and that my son

would be removed from that class today! Also when they lost I didn't

send him back to the extended school year. You can say that the situation is

sooooooooooooo bad that you will not subject your son to it anymore, that you

are so fear for his safety and well being. I would also document any further

correspoence with the teacher. Write down the time and date and what was said.

My thoughts are with you and I'm so sorry you have to go through this. I will

pray for you. Hope this helps. Linette

p.s. I just remember seeing something on the cherab web site regarding a teacher

(her picture is shown) that has helped a lot of children get the services and

help they need along with her e-mail.

Lynne <lsmithwvw@...> wrote:

I am saddened by your post. The behavior of the teacher and aide is beyond

belief. I live in Pennsylvania and I know that I can directly contact the State

Department of Education to file a complaint. This process often moves quickly

and really can shake up the local school district. It also seems that you need

to request an immediate IEP team meeting to address these issues. Good Luck.

[Guest guest]

Colette,

It is good that you are organized and keeping a record. Make copies

of the note you received, file the original in a safe place, and use

the copies at meetings you will soon be having with the school.

[Guest guest]

Collette I'm sorry I'm coming into this so late.

I sometimes say how " due to ignorance our communication impaired

children are left locked in the dark with no way to cry out for help " ...

as a way to describe the pain in theory -not reality!

I guess I used that expression because of something that I grew up

knowing. My brother and I were the honor roll students while my

sister who is dyslexic and the special ed child -grew up in

our shadows- and was always having problems in school. as a

child was also put into a room (a closet)with the lights out for punishment at

school. She was

so affected by these punishments that even today over 30 years later

she still brings it up from time to time how she was locked in a

dark closet for punishment and how scary it was and how mean they

were to her. (in my sister's case finally told my mom what

was going on -but at that point it had gone on for awhile.) When

my mom found out like you she was horrified and went to the board of

ed -etc. and threw a fit. In addition - my mom worked with my

sister at home various ways -like with clay or puppets for example

to " act out " what happened. I remember my mom doing this to try to

help talk about what happened since it was hard for to

talk about it -she would cry. You can maybe try the same.

If you wish to speak with an attorney -I highly recommend Staci

Greenwald and Ted Sussan from Sussan and Greenwald Attorneys At Law

(407 Main Street Spotswood, NJ 08884. http://www.special-ed-law.com

Phone: 732-251-8585)

Staci Greenwald and Ted Sussan are advisors to CHERAB Foundation

http://www.cherab.org/information/speechlanguage/advisoryboard.html

and two of the best -if not the best -special ed attorneys in NJ.

They are very knowledgeable about the needs of apraxic and other

communication impaired children.

I also agree with Marina's suggestion of taking your story to the

media. Many times today the power of the media raising awareness

about how our children that are not yet able to speak for themselves

can be discriminated against and left to fall through the cracks -

can be a swifter kick than a lawyer. I know at least one producer

from a major NYC network TV news stations that will help you. This

Thursday the station is interviewing another communication impaired

child in our group in need this week (I'll post the details and air

date and time here and at the new CHERAB special announcement list

once I know cherab/ )

My other suggestion is to get a neurodevelopmental MD (perhaps a

child psych too?) involved to put in writing how this type of action

is inappropriate and could be psychologically damaging to a

communication impaired child. Document everything in writing.

Painful memories can carry for years -if only awareness to the pain

these situations can cause children was known -perhaps these kinds

of incidents would no longer happen.

=====