Re: this week's topic

[Guest guest]

Hi everyone.

I've always had such horrible problems with my self esteem. I have a hard time "ejecting" those negative thoughts. But I find that they occur much less often than they used to. I guess part of that is that I know I finally am in control, and that makes me feel really good. I think I still have issues and really haven't found a good way to combat them. I can't ever imagine saying something to myself/body. I'm not sure it would work.

Maggie

[Guest guest]

Wow , this is a big one and will take some thought. I do agree with the philosophy of this. I once attended a seminar and everymorning for a week you had to stand infront of your buddie and state 5 positive things about yourself each day. Just saying them out loud and infront of someone else was very powerful. Thank you for reminding me of this.

-- this week's topic

Hello group! I wanted to start a thread about the meeting topic this week. I don't know how many of you go to meetings and how many have been this week, but it is on self esteem. My leader made an interesting statement:

"Would you be more likely to do something really hard for you best friend or a person that you hate? That is why you have to learn to love yourself as much as you love your best friend and forgive yourself as much a you would your best friend. If you do, you will try harder to do good things for yourself, weight loss included."

I have actually been thinking a lot about this issue. I have started looking in the mirror occaisionally and saying something nice about each part of my body. Some, like my legs which I love, I can say, "Wow you are awesome! You are so sexy, legs!" But others I am not so happy with, like my boobs, I have to think hard and say something like, "My babies will love you, boobs. They will think you are so tasty!" Or "Arms, you are so useful for lifting things and for hugging dh." Strange as this seems, I think it works!

Also, everytime I have a negative thought creep in on me, I try to press my thumb and fingers together and say, "Eject." Then I think a better thought, a positive one. For instance, if I think, "You are so fat and yucky," I eject that thought and then say, "You are a beautiful woman, and I am so proud of you for getting your weight under control." If I think, "I will never be thin; this is too hard," then I eject that and think, "I am in control of what I eat. I can do this; I will do this. It is hard, but I am tough!" This really helps me not to sabotage myself.

I guess I just want to start a discussion on this. What problems do you have with self esteem? How do you try to handle it? How do other people affect you self esteem? How can we combat them? Did you learn any good tips for us from you meeting?

[Guest guest]

Self-esteem is something that I definitely need to work at...one of

the things my DH used to say to me is " Stop APOLOGIZING! " Not just

about my looks but in everything that I do. I would always say, " oh,

i'm sorry, this...and I'm sorry, that... " that it got annoying to

him. I've definitely had to learn that it's not always MY fault when

even the littlest thing goes wrong.

I guess it stems from having very critical parents and it just seemed

that I always did things incorrectly or simply not good enough for

their standards. Whether it was school or housework or the way I

drive...I used to want to be an artist or designer but never had

faith in my abilities so opted instead to study the sciences (more

concrete and measurable success). My parents definitely mellowed out

as I got older but it's taken me a while to outgrow those feelings of

insecurity and inadequacy.

Meeting DH who is Sooo supportive and adoring has definitely boosted

my self-esteem (we met online, BTW...but that's ANOTHER story). Now I

feel as if I can do anything! but the big, scary low-selfesteem

monster still rears up its ugly head every now and then--especially

when it comes to my weight and size. Having someone who loved me no

matter what size I was helped bring me to the decision to finally

make the changes in my lifestlye for ME! and you ladies definitely

help me there. I always feel good after reading the posts because

there is so much positive feedback and I feel appreciated which

boosts my self-esteem even more.

Thanks for reminding me to love myself!!

-riza

> I guess I just want to start a discussion on this. What problems

do you

> have with self esteem? How do you try to handle it? How do other

people

> affect you self esteem? How can we combat them? Did you learn any

good

> tips for us from you meeting?

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

Okay, so this morning I tried this. I stood (okay not in front of the mirror). But I told my legs they were beautiful and strong for running after lost dogs (I helped rescue a dog last night running down a 4 lane 45 mph road). It's a start, I'm going to work on this.

Maggie

[Guest guest]

That is awesome, Maggie. And good for you on the dog too!

RE: this week's topic

Okay, so this morning I tried this. I stood (okay not in front of the mirror). But I told my legs they were beautiful and strong for running after lost dogs (I helped rescue a dog last night running down a 4 lane 45 mph road). It's a start, I'm going to work on this.

Maggie

[Guest guest]

Tonia,

The next time you can't find anything good to say to yourself I want you to do this.....look in that mirror and tell yourself that you are a beautiful person inside and out and you know it's true because Sharon told you it was! Stick with us hon....you can do this!

Sharon

Re: this week's topic

Hi All, This topic is one that hits close to home. Mainly because of my weight, my self esteem is very low. I was not always over weight. All through hisg school I ranged between 125 and 145, I thought I looked good, (so did my husband). After highschool, I had a few medical problems, and well, what else are you going to but eat when the doctors tell you can't do anything else. I gained alot of weight, and now I want it gone. I feel so useless being overweight. It's hard to do anything that's active. I feel like everyone is looking down at me like I can't do anything. My husband does not really like my weight, as for support, well he thinks what he is donig is support. In the past I have lost weight, and then two weeks later it's back. So now I'm trying to change my lifestyle. Thats hard. To keep myself from crawling into a ball, and sleeping all day. Every morning I pick one thing about myself that I feel good about. It may be my smile, or how soft my hair is, or if I cant think of something its just the fact that I'm alive and have a chance to smile once today. I am now able to pick out several good things about my self. I am starting to see my self esteem improve. But one wrong comment from DH, and I have to start over again. I have only been part of the group for a week, but it hepls alot to know that I'm not alone. And that I have people that I can ask questions, and talk about my feeling and not be judged. Its really nice. I am so glad that I joined you guys. tonia rizabo wrote: Self-esteem is something that I definitely need to work at...one of the things my DH used to say to me is "Stop APOLOGIZING!" Not just about my looks but in everything that I do. I would always say, "oh, i'm sorry, this...and I'm sorry, that..." that it got annoying to him. I've definitely had to learn that it's not always MY fault when even the littlest thing goes wrong. I guess it stems from having very critical parents and it just seemed that I always did things incorrectly or simply not good enough for their standards. Whether it was school or housework or the way I drive...I used to want to be an artist or designer but never had faith in my abilities so opted instead to study the sciences (more concrete and measurable success). My parents definitely mellowed out as I got older but it's taken me a while to outgrow those feelings of insecurity and inadequacy. Meeting DH who is Sooo supportive and adoring has definitely boosted my self-esteem (we met online, BTW...but that's ANOTHER story). Now I feel as if I can do anything! but the big, scary low-selfesteem monster still rears up its ugly head every now and then--especially when it comes to my weight and size. Having someone who loved me no matter what size I was helped bring me to the decision to finally make the changes in my lifestlye for ME! and you ladies definitely help me there. I always feel good after reading the posts because there is so much positive feedback and I feel appreciated which boosts my self-esteem even more. Thanks for reminding me to love myself!! -riza> I guess I just want to start a discussion on this. What problems do you> have with self esteem? How do you try to handle it? How do other people> affect you self esteem? How can we combat them? Did you learn any good> tips for us from you meeting?> > >

[Guest guest]

God bless you Maggie a girl after my own heart rescueing dogs, that is right up my ally I bet you lose 4 pounds this week. You are working so hard keep it up.I am glad you are part of this group.

Zephyr

RE: this week's topic

Okay, so this morning I tried this. I stood (okay not in front of the mirror). But I told my legs they were beautiful and strong for running after lost dogs (I helped rescue a dog last night running down a 4 lane 45 mph road). It's a start, I'm going to work on this.

Maggie

[Guest guest]

Thakn you Zephyr, I'm glad to be part of this group. I'm glad all of you are here!

Maggie

(I have 2 rescued dogs that I kept - 1 we rescued as a puppy from a farm, the other tore through our screen door one day, we hung signs, about a month later some guy called said, yes she was my dog but we let her run away - they had abused her as well)

-----Original Message-----From: Zephyrmon Sent: Friday, April 19, 2002 9:34 PMTo: wwliterside Subject: Re: this week's topic

God bless you Maggie a girl after my own heart rescueing dogs, that is right up my ally I bet you lose 4 pounds this week. You are working so hard keep it up.I am glad you are part of this group.

Zephyr

[Guest guest]

Riza! i just had to tell you that i met my SO online also.. maybe we could swap stories some time! LOL

JENN

Re: this week's topic

Self-esteem is something that I definitely need to work at...one of the things my DH used to say to me is "Stop APOLOGIZING!" Not just about my looks but in everything that I do. I would always say, "oh, i'm sorry, this...and I'm sorry, that..." that it got annoying to him. I've definitely had to learn that it's not always MY fault when even the littlest thing goes wrong. I guess it stems from having very critical parents and it just seemed that I always did things incorrectly or simply not good enough for their standards. Whether it was school or housework or the way I drive...I used to want to be an artist or designer but never had faith in my abilities so opted instead to study the sciences (more concrete and measurable success). My parents definitely mellowed out as I got older but it's taken me a while to outgrow those feelings of insecurity and inadequacy. Meeting DH who is Sooo supportive and adoring has definitely boosted my self-esteem (we met online, BTW...but that's ANOTHER story). Now I feel as if I can do anything! but the big, scary low-selfesteem monster still rears up its ugly head every now and then--especially when it comes to my weight and size. Having someone who loved me no matter what size I was helped bring me to the decision to finally make the changes in my lifestlye for ME! and you ladies definitely help me there. I always feel good after reading the posts because there is so much positive feedback and I feel appreciated which boosts my self-esteem even more. Thanks for reminding me to love myself!! -riza> I guess I just want to start a discussion on this. What problems do you> have with self esteem? How do you try to handle it? How do other people> affect you self esteem? How can we combat them? Did you learn any good> tips for us from you meeting?> > >