Guest guest Posted April 22, 2002 Report Share Posted April 22, 2002 Oh Tonia *huge hugs*. It must be so hard without a supportive husband, but remember we will support you! Have you tried having a talk with him about it? Some men have no idea what they are saying/doing sometimes. My DH (who is VERY supportive) used to make comments about heavier women, and I'd look at them and think, wow, I'm not that much different than them, so what does he think about me? (this was before we were married). Then one day he made a comment and I snapped. I started yelling, or well talking loudly, about how that made me feel, and did he really even realize I was probably heavier than her, or whatever. I really made him feel like crap and he said he had no idea. Sometimes you just have to kick them in the head for them to realize what they are doing. But most of all, you are doing something for yourself, not for him. It is VERY positive, not only will you look better, you will feel better, be healthier and live longer. And you are losing at a healthy rate! Do you go to the meetings? Would he be willing to go to one with you? It may help him understand. Is he skinny himself (mt DH is like a rail...)? Maybe have him exercise with you. I'm not sure if any of this will help, but its just my thoughts. Hugs, Maggie adivce Hi all, I have had a very hard weekend. Me and my husband, have been having difficulty, in refeance to my weight. When I first started to loose weight, I was in a size 22. I am now in a size 20. I try to be proud of that. But my husband makes it hard. He thinks that I should be trying harder, and lossing weight faster. He seems to be imbaraced to do things with. He has not always been this way, I don't know what happend. I was wandering. If any of you have supportive husbands. And if you do were they always supportive. And if they were not always supportive, how did they become supportive? The more he says to me the more, I feel horible. I try to be positive, and say "well, I eating better, and I exercise. I am lossing weight, its just not as fast as he wants me to. I feel so useless. I don't know what to do, or how to handle the rejection from him. It really hurts. I! know this might not make alote of sense. I hope you can understand it. I just feel so alone, and lost. Any help will be much apprecitated. Thank you ahead of time. Tonia If you want the rainbow, You have to pass through the rain!!! Tonia Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted April 22, 2002 Report Share Posted April 22, 2002 Maggie, Thanks, for responding, Yes my husband is skinny, it drives me crazy. He can eat anything and not gain a pound. I have tried to talk to him, but he does not listen. Sometimes I think he gets it, but then he seems to forget, how much his words hurt. I do not go to meetings at this time. Money is not flowing like I would like. But hopfully soon, we will have the extra. Thanks again. --- Maggie Medley wrote: > Oh Tonia *huge hugs*. It must be so hard without a > supportive husband, but > remember we will support you! Have you tried having > a talk with him about > it? Some men have no idea what they are > saying/doing sometimes. My DH (who > is VERY supportive) used to make comments about > heavier women, and I'd look > at them and think, wow, I'm not that much different > than them, so what does > he think about me? (this was before we were > married). Then one day he made > a comment and I snapped. I started yelling, or well > talking loudly, about > how that made me feel, and did he really even > realize I was probably heavier > than her, or whatever. I really made him feel like > crap and he said he had > no idea. Sometimes you just have to kick them in > the head for them to > realize what they are doing. > > But most of all, you are doing something for > yourself, not for him. It is > VERY positive, not only will you look better, you > will feel better, be > healthier and live longer. And you are losing at a > healthy rate! Do you go > to the meetings? Would he be willing to go to one > with you? It may help > him understand. Is he skinny himself (mt DH is like > a rail...)? Maybe have > him exercise with you. > > I'm not sure if any of this will help, but its just > my thoughts. > > Hugs, > Maggie > > adivce > > > Hi all, > > > > I have had a very hard weekend. Me and my > husband, have been having > difficulty, in refeance to my weight. When I first > started to loose weight, > I was in a size 22. I am now in a size 20. I try > to be proud of that. But > my husband makes it hard. He thinks that I should > be trying harder, and > lossing weight faster. He seems to be imbaraced to > do things with. He has > not always been this way, I don't know what happend. > I was wandering. If > any of you have supportive husbands. And if you do > were they always > supportive. And if they were not always supportive, > how did they become > supportive? The more he says to me the more, I feel > horible. I try to be > positive, and say " well, I eating better, and I > exercise. I am lossing > weight, its just not as fast as he wants me to. I > feel so useless. I don't > know what to do, or how to handle the rejection from > him. It really hurts. > I! know this might not make alote of sense. I hope > you can understand it. > I just feel so alone, and lost. Any help will be > much apprecitated. Thank > you ahead of time. > > > > Tonia > > > > > If you want the rainbow, > > You have to pass through the rain!!! > > Tonia > > > > > > ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- > -- > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted April 22, 2002 Report Share Posted April 22, 2002 {{{{{{TONIA}}}}}}}, cyber hugs coming your way! I am sorry that dh is not supportive!!! I would suggest trying to talk to him about it. Telling him that everyone loses at their own speed (ww recommends NO MORE than 1-2 pounds a week this way you have a better chance of keeping it off), and that you are trying to lose and need him to support you. As long as you are drinking your water, following your points (the right mix, journaling, etc), and exercising.....YOU WILL LOSE!!!!! It may take a little while but the pounds and inches will come off!!! Are you taking your measurements?? If not, you really need to! You will be surprised that you can have a lose of inches and a gain on the scale because of the muscles toning. When did you start ww (and really commit)? How much have you lost so far? Personally speaking, I also started at a womens size 22 and 225 pounds last June. I am now in a misses petite size 14 and 166 pounds. My dh has always been supportive and that really does help. He is even adding a room onto our house for my exercise room. Last July, he bought me a home gym and elliptical trainer because I was really sticking with WW. He also said that when the room is finished I can get a treadmill. Come here for your support, encouragement, and advice!!! I couldn't have made it with the boards support! These people are the BEST!!! It does help to have dh's support, but you can do it without his support! Remember DO THIS FOR YOURSELF AND YOU WILL MAKE IT!!!!! Hang in there and post often!! Maureen adivce Hi all, I have had a very hard weekend. Me and my husband, have been having difficulty, in refeance to my weight. When I first started to loose weight, I was in a size 22. I am now in a size 20. I try to be proud of that. But my husband makes it hard. He thinks that I should be trying harder, and lossing weight faster. He seems to be imbaraced to do things with. He has not always been this way, I don't know what happend. I was wandering. If any of you have supportive husbands. And if you do were they always supportive. And if they were not always supportive, how did they become supportive? The more he says to me the more, I feel horible. I try to be positive, and say "well, I eating better, and I exercise. I am lossing weight, its just not as fast as he wants me to. I feel so useless. I don't know what to do, or how to handle the rejection from him. It really hurts. I know this might not make alote of sense. I hope you can understand it. I just feel so alone, and lost. Any help will be much apprecitated. Thank you ahead of time. Tonia If you want the rainbow, You have to pass through the rain!!! Tonia Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted April 22, 2002 Report Share Posted April 22, 2002 Tonia, just read your post and am sending my Hugs your way too! I agree with maureen try talking to him, let him know how his comments and remarks hurt you. Talk to him from your heart. I am very lucky that my husband is extremely supportive. Post your journals here and post your thoughts, frustrations, and joys here. This group is a great motivator and support system. If you slip we are here to help you get up. When you lose we are here to cheer! Good luck with your DH. -- Re: adivce {{{{{{TONIA}}}}}}}, cyber hugs coming your way! I am sorry that dh is not supportive!!! I would suggest trying to talk to him about it. Telling him that everyone loses at their own speed (ww recommends NO MORE than 1-2 pounds a week this way you have a better chance of keeping it off), and that you are trying to lose and need him to support you. As long as you are drinking your water, following your points (the right mix, journaling, etc), and exercising.....YOU WILL LOSE!!!!! It may take a little while but the pounds and inches will come off!!! Are you taking your measurements?? If not, you really need to! You will be surprised that you can have a lose of inches and a gain on the scale because of the muscles toning. When did you start ww (and really commit)? How much have you lost so far? Personally speaking, I also started at a womens size 22 and 225 pounds last June. I am now in a misses petite size 14 and 166 pounds. My dh has always been supportive and that really does help. He is even adding a room onto our house for my exercise room. Last July, he bought me a home gym and elliptical trainer because I was really sticking with WW. He also said that when the room is finished I can get a treadmill. Come here for your support, encouragement, and advice!!! I couldn't have made it with the boards support! These people are the BEST!!! It does help to have dh's support, but you can do it without his support! Remember DO THIS FOR YOURSELF AND YOU WILL MAKE IT!!!!! Hang in there and post often!! Maureen adivce Hi all, I have had a very hard weekend. Me and my husband, have been having difficulty, in refeance to my weight. When I first started to loose weight, I was in a size 22. I am now in a size 20. I try to be proud of that. But my husband makes it hard. He thinks that I should be trying harder, and lossing weight faster. He seems to be imbaraced to do things with. He has not always been this way, I don't know what happend. I was wandering. If any of you have supportive husbands. And if you do were they always supportive. And if they were not always supportive, how did they become supportive? The more he says to me the more, I feel horible. I try to be positive, and say "well, I eating better, and I exercise. I am lossing weight, its just not as fast as he wants me to. I feel so useless. I don't know what to do, or how to handle the rejection from him. It really hurts. I know this might not make alote of sense. I hope you can understand it. I just feel so alone, and lost. Any help will be much apprecitated. Thank you ahead of time. Tonia If you want the rainbow, You have to pass through the rain!!! Tonia Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted April 22, 2002 Report Share Posted April 22, 2002 Excellent advice, Maggie! |--------+-------------------------> | | " Maggie Medley " | | | <mmedley@columb| | | us.rr.com> | | | | | | 04/22/2002 | | | 06:51 AM | | | Please respond | | | to wwliterside | | | | |--------+-------------------------> >-----------------------------------------------------------| | | | To: wwliterside | | cc: (bcc: -C /BRE/AGFA/US/BAYER) | | Subject: RE: adivce | >-----------------------------------------------------------| Oh Tonia *huge hugs*. It must be so hard without a supportive husband, but remember we will support you! Have you tried having a talk with him about it? Some men have no idea what they are saying/doing sometimes. My DH (who is VERY supportive) used to make comments about heavier women, and I'd look at them and think, wow, I'm not that much different than them, so what does he think about me? (this was before we were married). Then one day he made a comment and I snapped. I started yelling, or well talking loudly, about how that made me feel, and did he really even realize I was probably heavier than her, or whatever. I really made him feel like crap and he said he had no idea. Sometimes you just have to kick them in the head for them to realize what they are doing. But most of all, you are doing something for yourself, not for him. It is VERY positive, not only will you look better, you will feel better, be healthier and live longer. And you are losing at a healthy rate! Do you go to the meetings? Would he be willing to go to one with you? It may help him understand. Is he skinny himself (mt DH is like a rail...)? Maybe have him exercise with you. I'm not sure if any of this will help, but its just my thoughts. Hugs, Maggie Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted April 22, 2002 Report Share Posted April 22, 2002 Oh my gosh! I am so sorry you are going through this with your husband. My husband use to make comments about my weight and then finally one day I asked him point blank if he was going to leave me if I gained more weight. He told me no so then I asked him what was the point of him talking about my weight then? He has never said another word. If he does say anything now it is to tell me he loves me just the way I am and he doesn't care if I lose weight or not. I guess just that one statement made him stop and think. I'm not saying this would work on your husband, but just my story! We are here to support you and if you have gone from a size 22 to a size 20 then you are doing awesome no matter what anyone says! Sharon 185/176.5/150 adivce Hi all, I have had a very hard weekend. Me and my husband, have been having difficulty, in refeance to my weight. When I first started to loose weight, I was in a size 22. I am now in a size 20. I try to be proud of that. But my husband makes it hard. He thinks that I should be trying harder, and lossing weight faster. He seems to be imbaraced to do things with. He has not always been this way, I don't know what happend. I was wandering. If any of you have supportive husbands. And if you do were they always supportive. And if they were not always supportive, how did they become supportive? The more he says to me the more, I feel horible. I try to be positive, and say "well, I eating better, and I exercise. I am lossing weight, its just not as fast as he wants me to. I feel so useless. I don't know what to do, or how to handle the rejection from him. It really hurts. I know this might not make alote of sense. I hope you can understand it. I just feel so alone, and lost. Any help will be much apprecitated. Thank you ahead of time. Tonia If you want the rainbow, You have to pass through the rain!!! Tonia Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted April 22, 2002 Report Share Posted April 22, 2002 It may help him understand. Is he skinny himself (mt DH is like a rail...)? Maybe have him exercise with you. Larry also doesn't have a weight problem and has actually lost something like 40 lbs. by having his hypothyroidism diagnosed and starting the medicine. He weighs less than I do and I only weigh 176.5 right now. I am also about an inch or more taller than him. I think it makes it harder when your man is thin. Sharon I'm not sure if any of this will help, but its just my thoughts. Hugs, Maggie adivce Hi all, I have had a very hard weekend. Me and my husband, have been having difficulty, in refeance to my weight. When I first started to loose weight, I was in a size 22. I am now in a size 20. I try to be proud of that. But my husband makes it hard. He thinks that I should be trying harder, and lossing weight faster. He seems to be imbaraced to do things with. He has not always been this way, I don't know what happend. I was wandering. If any of you have supportive husbands. And if you do were they always supportive. And if they were not always supportive, how did they become supportive? The more he says to me the more, I feel horible. I try to be positive, and say "well, I eating better, and I exercise. I am lossing weight, its just not as fast as he wants me to. I feel so useless. I don't know what to do, or how to handle the rejection from him. It really hurts. I! know this might not make alote of sense. I hope you can understand it. I just feel so alone, and lost. Any help will be much apprecitated. Thank you ahead of time. Tonia If you want the rainbow, You have to pass through the rain!!! Tonia Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted April 22, 2002 Report Share Posted April 22, 2002 Hi all, I would like to take the time to thank you all for your support, and advice. I had a talk with DH tonight. I basically told him, that I am the one living in this body, I am the one that dresses it, and washes it. I exspressed to him that I am quite aware, of the way my body looks. I also informed him that what he says only reifources everything, I had thought that day, and makes it harder for me to stick with the program. He apologized, and said that he will try to be more supportive. He also told me that he was proud of me for the progress that I have made. (I had not relalived that he noticed.) So I hope things work out. Again thanks for the advice, and support. Tonia "Medley, Maggie" wrote: Good for you Sharon! Hugs, Maggie -----Original Message-----From: Sharon Gibson Sent: Monday, April 22, 2002 12:21 PMTo: wwliterside Subject: Re: adivce Oh my gosh! I am so sorry you are going through this with your husband. My husband use to make comments about my weight and then finally one day I asked him point blank if he was going to leave me if I gained more weight. He told me no so then I asked him what was the point of him talking about my weight then? He has never said another word. If he does say anything now it is to tell me he loves me just the way I am and he doesn't care if I lose weight or not. I guess just that one statement made him stop and think. I'm not saying this would work on your husband, but just my story! We are here to support you and if you have gone from a size 22 to a size 20 then you are doing awesome no matter what anyone says! Sharon 185/176.5/150 adivce Hi all, I have had a very hard weekend. Me and my husband, have been having difficulty, in refeance to my weight. When I first started to loose weight, I was in a size 22. I am now in a size 20. I try to be proud of that. But my husband makes it hard. He thinks that I should be trying harder, and lossing weight faster. He seems to be imbaraced to do things with. He has not always been this way, I don't know what happend. I was wandering. If any of you have supportive husbands. And if you do were they always supportive. And if they were not always supportive, how did they become supportive? The more he says to me the more, I feel horible. I try to be positive, and say "well, I eating better, and I exercise. I am lossing weight, its just not as fast as he wants me to. I feel so useless. I don't know what to do, or how to handle the rejection from him. It really hurts. I know this might not make alote of sense. I hope you can understand it. I just feel so alone, and lost. Any help will be much apprecitated. Thank you ahead of time. Tonia If you want the rainbow, You have to pass through the rain!!! Tonia Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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