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Tootie, Sometimes I just have bacon w/cheese. I happen to like omelettes

and scrambled eggs, but keep in mind, you do not have to eat breakfast

food. You can have chicken, steak, sugar free jello, Atkins shake or

bar... be creative. I do tend to tire of eggs after a while, but it soon

goes away. To me, you cannot beat havings eggs scrambled with heavy cream

and cheese, with some country ham or sausage, mmmmmm!!!

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  • 4 months later...

In a message dated 10/18/99 8:40:00 PM Central Daylight Time, Rlr1999@...

writes:

<< << you will be missed....

Lu >>

You already missed her. That letter was telling us she was leaving the

group.

You are almost as bad as I am. I stopped someones mail then told them I had

done it.

: ) I am glad I am in good company.

>>

Kiss it Roy {where the sun don't shine } LOL

I figured she would still read her mail for a little while. Some husband you

get to feeling better and he makes you leave all your friends... Okay tell me

to shut up now...

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  • 3 weeks later...

In a message dated 11/08/1999 11:08:18 PM Eastern Standard Time,

Rlr1999@... writes:

<< the martha stewart dear santa letter >>

I accidently deleted mine can someone re send it to me please

Love and Gentle Hugs,

Angie

http://www.onelist.com/subscribe/SantaLetters

http://www.geocities.com/acenneno_1999

http://rpolychondritis.tripod.com/index.html

http://members.tripod.com/~autoimmune

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  • 4 years later...
Guest guest

hazel, how old is your dtr? how did they rule out a physiologic sz

disorder? did she have a sleep EEG? at what age did she start having

problems? does she have rages?

when you wrote how your dtr blames you for everything-and about how

she felt you didnt respond the way she wanted after passing out-well

THAT rang a bell with me. my dtr , has somatisized since she was 5 or

6-when her symptomsa began(though she was not dx w/ BPD till 9 yo)

she will b/c enraged because i didnt notice her " big toe " hurt and

she was " limping " -i have no doubt at that moment she felt some kind

of emotional pain, that she NEEDed my attention, and that she

believed she was " injured " . but one of my many tasks with her, has

been to teach her to KNOW what she is feeling and learn to express it

in a way that she can get what she needs-and know what is resonable

to expect. i KNOW-a huge undertaking.

general to group:

i found psych testing to be a life saver-i would not have probably

stumbled onto my dtr's true dx-for years later-without it. and

remember-a good neuropsych +/or psych test battery gives info about

poss structural problems within the brain.

one caution-it is all too easy, no matter how much we love them, to

sometimes have a " hint " of a punitive motive for wanting them in tx

or to have testing. i had to be REALLY honest with myself to see

this. when my dtr rages, when she emotionally tears at my flesh, it

is instinctive to want to defend oneself-BUT if therapy, going to ER,

etc is ever(esp if it is consistently) " suggested " in response-or

on " the heels " of a conflict-then it makes it so hard for the child

to accept-kind of a " go to your room " . i find it much better to TRY

to NEVER link therapy to an angry conflict we have.

my dtr used to REFUSE to go to tx-we would have such ROWS! twice she

turned the streering wheel of the car in front of ongoing traffic! i

calmed myself down, then decided i was no longer going to walk her in

to therapist's office, wait in waiting room and drive her home-by

doing that she feels controlled, maybe even punished by going. now i

drop her off-independently she has chosen the day and time and i pick

her up after. NOW she is angry if she has to miss an appt. she not

only feels grown up and " in charge " -it is at that time that she began

to " own " her emotional illnes. ALSO this seeming small change allowed

me to open up a dialogue about the fact that she is ill. now this is

tricky and i would not recc. it w/o a great deal of thought. i

believe it is only b/c she is so young(10) that maybe i have been

able to do this-and it was AGAINST the advice of her tx. but it has

made the biggest change. she KNOWS that her " mind " plays tricks on

her, and she is young enough to consider that my way of seeing things

may work out better-if she was truly adolescent i dont think i could

do this. I would be the very LAST person she would trust or listen

to. some psych say that BPD is like the worst teenager years x 100

that never stop... i dont think this need be true, but i can see how

incredibly different my situation in all likelihood will be when my

dtr reaches puberty.

to me it is like the bond i formed with my father-BEFORE he had

become too senile for me to teach or alter what he does/how he feels-

he lives with us and will be 98 this summer. with my dtr, BEFORE she

become pubescent, i am trying to lay down some groundwork-our moral

philosophy, our house rules, very specifics about what we expect from

her in the different areas of her life-with the hope, just the HOPE

that maybe once she is in the throws of puberty and her illness

likely becomes much worse that MAYBE she will remember some of it-

maybe she will even think some of it was HER idea and therefore NOT

reject it. i hope. i have to-it is such hard work-with such uncertain

an outcome-but what else can i do for her-otherwise i think i just

couldnt bear the sadness in her eyes, the uncertainty she feels

approaching each new situation. i dont think i knew sadness so well,

until a couple of weeks ago-my dtr knew she would be starting a camp

with new kids. she went into her room and closed the door-she NEVER

does this if she is alone-she is terrified of being alone-so i

listened at the door-she was practicing meeting people. she is

sensitive about being so tiny (4'5 " and 52 lbs-she has growth delay

syndrome)-so she was practicing how she would introduce herself, what

Q she might ask the other girl(s) to get to know them, and being very

hard on herself, calling herself " stupid " when she said

something " wrong " . every fiber of her being, all her energy was

invested in " getting it right " as if that would give her ANY

assurance of not feeling rejected. down deep i know, she knows that

her feeling rejected comes from the inside-BUT what can she do-how

can she make her life better? but HOW she tries, how she tries.

love, rivka

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