Re: Doesn't like to be held

[Guest guest]

,

It took Kaija a long time to cuddle. She didn't really cuddle with me until

about 18 months. It made it difficult at times as I wasn't as mature as I am

now. I felt like something was wrong with me. I am glad you can see that it is

just his personality. Kaija is now fairly affectionate and still likes to cozy

up with me. We could never hold her in the newborn hold only in the stomach

down colic hold. She had to be able to see everything. She still doesn't ever

want to miss anything. I could never lean her back on me either. She was

always just a different baby. She only slept about 10 hours a day as a newborn.

It has been intense but she is a great girl and I am constantly amazed by her

intelligence. I know how hard it can be but just let him be who he is, he will

appreciate you for it. When he can crawl to you and away he might feel more in

control and will want to cuddle more. Just keep loving him.

Wendi

Doesn't like to be held

I wanted to share something that has been on my mind

for a while. Bart just doesn't like to be held. He's

almost 3 months old and even as a newborn he didn't

like it. I have *never* been able to hold him in the

typical cradle hold (except when nursing). Sometimes

I can hold him by my shoulder after a burping, but he

usually starts fussing after about 5-10 minutes

(unless he is really tired and then he might fall

asleep). Even sitting on a lap only lasts for a few

minutes. He has been really active since day one - he

loves to kick and has very strong legs. In fact he

almost kicked himself out of the car seat (which we

use as an infant seat) this evening. He presses down

with feet and lifts his butt and slides down. It was

quite amazing to see him do it.

Anyway, he is a very independent fellow, but also very

social. He'd rather be sitting looking and smiling

and " talking " to us than be held by us. I love and

respect him for who he is, but I still can't help

wishing he liked to cuddle. I read somewhere that at

6 months and older even babies who haven't liked to be

held, start to like cuddling. Has anyone else had

this experience? I'm curious what other babies are

like.

Thanks,

mom to Bart 1/22/99

_________________________________________________________

[Guest guest]

In a message dated 4/19/99 10:25:34 PM Pacific Daylight Time,

sarahlduncan@... writes:

<< He presses down

with feet and lifts his butt and slides down. It was

quite amazing to see him do it.

Anyway, he is a very independent fellow, but also very

social. He'd rather be sitting looking and smiling

and " talking " to us than be held by us. I love and

respect him for who he is, but I still can't help

wishing he liked to cuddle. I read somewhere that at

6 months and older even babies who haven't liked to be

held, start to like cuddling. Has anyone else had

this experience? I'm curious what other babies are

like.

Thanks,

mom to Bart 1/22/99

>>

,

Lexi used to do the EXACT Same thing in her carseat....LOL!! It is funny, but

I was so afraid she would get hurt I quit putting her in the carseat in the

house!!

And You probably won't like hearing this, I know how it is though.....but

Lexi has ALWAYS been the exact same way as you describe Bart, She to is VERY

Independent. She will now gives us hugs and kisses, but she has never been a

real big cuddler

She will only sit on my lap if she is nursing or SICK....That is how I REALLY

know when she is really sick, she will just lay on my chest and cuddle! But

otherwise, she will nurse, and then she wants back down to go explore and

play some more.

Lexi will play by herself, and keep herself entertained for hours on end, and

as Long as I am in the same room where she can see me she will be fine!!

She does NOT watch t.v. either.......She WON'T DO IT, she would rather be

playing with her toys or outside,.......I have the t.v. on PBS almost all day

long, and she will glance up at in now and then, but then she goes right back

to playing with her toys, and she glances at me every so often to make sure I

am still there.

And at night when she nurses, she will let me hold her sometimes, but after a

few minutes she will roll off my arm or whatever, and go get comfy by herself.

But MY thing is Lexi does cuddle more with her Daddy than she does

me........., She always has, and she is the BIGGEST Daddy's Girl it is not

even funny, and SOMETIMES I feel like she has something against me, but then

I remember that *I* am the one she sees, 24/7, *I* am the one who disciplines

her, And then there is DADDY....who Lets her do ANYTHING, Comes home and

plays with her, and then hands her off to me.

So I realized it has nothing to do with she doesn't Love me or

something.......it is just Daddy is more fun.....!!

Stacie

[Guest guest]

,

Thank you for the advice. I will watch him and keep

that in mind as Bart gets older. I'm not sure he

needs it either. He doesn't mind being held when I am

standing up. So when I'm longing for a cuddle we

" dance " - LOL!

--- Mparker90@... wrote:

> From: Mparker90@...

>

> ,

> Some babies are more negative to touch than others.

> You may want to talk

> with his dr about it just to see if he may benefit

> from some sensory

> stimulation from an Occupational Therapist. It can

> help, but I am not sure

> he needs it. He may just be a bit more sensitive or

> independent.

>

>

>

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_________________________________________________________

[Guest guest]

In a message dated 4/20/99 2:46:12 PM Central Daylight Time,

MamaToLexi@... writes:

<< She does NOT watch t.v. either....... >>

Davian watches TV all the time! He's going to be a real couch potato (just

like daddy LOL) . He's only 4 months old and LOVES " Blues Clues " and

" Teletubbies " I don't know what it is about those two but he just laughs and

laughs. Teletubbies come on at 8:00 and BC comes on at 8:30 so I'm able to

eat breakfast and get ready for work while he's watching TV.

G

[Guest guest]

,

Not to disappoint you, but my first was like Bart and still is at 2 years

old. The only time she likes to be cuddled is when she is sick which is very

very rarely.

My second one on the other hand, HATES to be laid down. All I do is hold her

(im not complaining)

When i had Hannah (my 1st) I told my hubby that I wish I had a baby that i

could hold and cuddle and low and behold i got it with my 2nd one.

Hopefully he will change and you will be able to cuddle him. Just remember

to take that time that you nurse him to cuddle him and hold that time dear to

your heart b/c it passes all to quick.

Martha

[Guest guest]

Oh ....I never knew that a baby so young would'nt like to be held.

That makes me so sad.

Stevie~Mommy to a 10/10/96 & 2/22/99

[Guest guest]

Sounds just like my Bart. Always on the move and he

can't even crawl yet! He is very driven - even at 3

months - and definitely fun to be around. I'm so glad

your daughter turned into a cuddler - she sounds like

a joy.

--- J Duckhorn wrote:

>

>

> I read somewhere that at>6 months and older even

> babies who haven't

> liked to be

> >held, start to like cuddling. Has anyone else

> had>this experience? I'm

> curious what other babies are>like.

>

> My daughter, who is now 5, never liked to cuddle

> either as a baby. From

> day one she was an independent little soul. Very

> driven. She sat up at

> 4 1/2 months, walked at 9 months, ran at 10 months,

> talked in sentences

> at 11 months -- but NO CUDDLING! ( ... she was

> always on the move.

> Fun to be around and watch. When she turned 4 or

> so, she wanted to

> CUDDLE. I was amazed, and sooooo happy! She is a

> snuggler still, and I

> am hoping she will continue this for a long time!

> So, babies and kids do

> change....

>

> Liz D.

>

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_________________________________________________________

[Guest guest]

,

You are so right. Different needs for different babies. There is nothing

wrong with you at all! You are practicing AP if you meet his needs and

follow his cues! Bart is lucky to have you as his Mommy!

[Guest guest]

Liz,

sounds a lot like Kaija. She just came out and looked around and tried to sit

up. She didn't sit up until 6 months but went from doing nothing to pulling

herself up on furniture by 7 months. She still hasn't stopped but she does like

to cuddle now.

Wendi

Re: Doesn't like to be held

I read somewhere that at>6 months and older even babies who haven't

liked to be

>held, start to like cuddling. Has anyone else had>this experience? I'm

curious what other babies are>like.

My daughter, who is now 5, never liked to cuddle either as a baby. From

day one she was an independent little soul. Very driven. She sat up at

4 1/2 months, walked at 9 months, ran at 10 months, talked in sentences

at 11 months -- but NO CUDDLING! ( ... she was always on the move.

Fun to be around and watch. When she turned 4 or so, she wanted to

CUDDLE. I was amazed, and sooooo happy! She is a snuggler still, and I

am hoping she will continue this for a long time! So, babies and kids do

change....

Liz D.

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[Guest guest]

Stacie,

Also isn't your dh gone pretty much all the time. That would make her feel a

little more desperate to be with him. She has a perfect attachment with you as

she feels so safe to play by herself.

Wendi

Re: Doesn't like to be held

From: MamaToLexi@...

In a message dated 4/19/99 10:25:34 PM Pacific Daylight Time,

sarahlduncan@... writes:

<< He presses down

with feet and lifts his butt and slides down. It was

quite amazing to see him do it.

Anyway, he is a very independent fellow, but also very

social. He'd rather be sitting looking and smiling

and " talking " to us than be held by us. I love and

respect him for who he is, but I still can't help

wishing he liked to cuddle. I read somewhere that at

6 months and older even babies who haven't liked to be

held, start to like cuddling. Has anyone else had

this experience? I'm curious what other babies are

like.

Thanks,

mom to Bart 1/22/99

>>

,

Lexi used to do the EXACT Same thing in her carseat....LOL!! It is funny, but

I was so afraid she would get hurt I quit putting her in the carseat in the

house!!

And You probably won't like hearing this, I know how it is though.....but

Lexi has ALWAYS been the exact same way as you describe Bart, She to is VERY

Independent. She will now gives us hugs and kisses, but she has never been a

real big cuddler

She will only sit on my lap if she is nursing or SICK....That is how I REALLY

know when she is really sick, she will just lay on my chest and cuddle! But

otherwise, she will nurse, and then she wants back down to go explore and

play some more.

Lexi will play by herself, and keep herself entertained for hours on end, and

as Long as I am in the same room where she can see me she will be fine!!

She does NOT watch t.v. either.......She WON'T DO IT, she would rather be

playing with her toys or outside,.......I have the t.v. on PBS almost all day

long, and she will glance up at in now and then, but then she goes right back

to playing with her toys, and she glances at me every so often to make sure I

am still there.

And at night when she nurses, she will let me hold her sometimes, but after a

few minutes she will roll off my arm or whatever, and go get comfy by herself.

But MY thing is Lexi does cuddle more with her Daddy than she does

me........., She always has, and she is the BIGGEST Daddy's Girl it is not

even funny, and SOMETIMES I feel like she has something against me, but then

I remember that *I* am the one she sees, 24/7, *I* am the one who disciplines

her, And then there is DADDY....who Lets her do ANYTHING, Comes home and

plays with her, and then hands her off to me.

So I realized it has nothing to do with she doesn't Love me or

something.......it is just Daddy is more fun.....!!

Stacie

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[Guest guest]

,

Zaid is a blue's clues freak. He loves it so much and won't really watch other

t.v. He will watch any kind of sports with a ball though. He now knows blue

(from blues clues) pink and purple.

Wendi

Re: Doesn't like to be held

From: LilNukie@...

In a message dated 4/20/99 2:46:12 PM Central Daylight Time,

MamaToLexi@... writes:

<< She does NOT watch t.v. either....... >>

Davian watches TV all the time! He's going to be a real couch potato (just

like daddy LOL) . He's only 4 months old and LOVES " Blues Clues " and

" Teletubbies " I don't know what it is about those two but he just laughs and

laughs. Teletubbies come on at 8:00 and BC comes on at 8:30 so I'm able to

eat breakfast and get ready for work while he's watching TV.

G

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