Re: Church Announcements (fwd)

[Guest guest]

Here's another forward that made me laugh.

Enjoy!

Mark

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Subject: Actual Church Announcements

15 Announcements Taken from Church Bulletins

1.Don't let worry kill you -- let the church help.

2.Thursday night - Potluck supper. Prayer and medication to

follow.

3.Remember in prayer the many who are sick of our church and

community.

4.For those of you who have children and don't know it, we have

a

nursery downstairs.

5.The rosebud on the alter this morning is to announce the birth

of

Alan Belzer, the sin of Rev. and Mrs. Julius Belzer.

6.This afternoon there will be a meeting in the South and North

ends

of the church. Children will be baptized at both ends.

7.Tuesday at 4:00 PM there will be an ice cream social. All

ladies

giving milk will please come early.

8.Wednesday, the ladies Liturgy Society will meet. Mrs.

will

sing, " Put me in My Little Bed " accompanied by the pastor.

9.Thursday at 5:00 P.M. there will be a meeting of the Little

Mothers Club. All wishing to become little mothers, please

see the

minister in his study.

10.This being Easter Sunday, we will ask Mrs. to come

forward and lay an egg on the alter.

11.The service will close with " Little Drops of Water. " One of

the

ladies will start quietly and the rest of the congregation

will

join in.

12.Next Sunday a special collection will be taken to defray the

cost of

the new carpet. All those wishing to do something on the new

carpet will come forward and do so.

13.The ladies of the church have cast off clothing of every kind

and

they may be seen in the church basement Friday.

14.A bean supper will be held on Tuesday evening in the church

hall.

Music will follow.

15.At the evening service tonight, the sermon topic will be " What

is

Hell? " Come early and listen to our choir practice.

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" I love the dance, I love the motion,

In your arms I feel the ocean

Kiss me deepsly tell me softly,

Every dream is coming true

Oh my darling love is you "

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