Guest guest Posted June 15, 2004 Report Share Posted June 15, 2004 PUVAS, DEAR, and SET are three techniques that can be used in communicating with a BPD. The acronym PUVAS stands for: · Pay attention · Understand fully · Validate the BP's emotions · Assert yourself with " My Reality Statement " · Shift responsibility for the BPs feelings and actions back to the BP. You can read about PUVAS, along with Linehan's DEAR technique, in the BPDCentral.com library at: http://www.bpdcentral.com/resources/library/thesea.htm PUVAS is also in section 2 of the booklet titled " Love and Loathing: Protecting Your Mental Health and Legal Rights When Your Partner has Borderline Personality Disorder " by Randi Kreger and Kim A. . http://www.bpdcentral.com/books/loathing.shtml SET, from Kreisman's book titled " I Hate You - Don't Leave Me " , is a three-part communication method/technique that can be used in interacting with a BP. The letters (SET) stand for Support, Empathy, and Truth. The first stage, Support, is a personal statement of concern focusing on your own feelings and desire to help. The second stage, Empathy, is an acknowledgment of the BP's feelings. The third stage, Truth, recognizes the existence of a problem and addresses more practical issues of how to solve it. Also, one must remember to use " I " statements, and try to not use " you " statements -- as the BP may perceive " you " statements as blaming/shaming and thus trigger their defenses (ie, projection, denial, rationalization, splitting, raging, etc (SWOE, ch 3). Its difficult to learn new ways of responding in attempting to communicate with a BP but it could be worth the effort in the long run. - Edith List Manager & Gal Friday WelcomeToOz Family of NonBP Email Support Groups Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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