Re: Selective mutism and Apraxia...PLEASE HELP

[Guest guest]

Hi ,

Examine when 's " withdrawal " started and report it not only to

the school, the SLP, but to his pediatrician/neurodevelopmental MD,

as well as a child psychologist if all believe this to be selective

mutism. There could be a number of reasons is only talking

at home right now that his language is first developing -and it's

best to explore this with the professionals and know for sure this

is selective mutism before looking to fix it. I for one was very

shy around others when I was little. I spoke very soft, hid behind

my mom when she tried to introduce me to others. I had friends, I

was just shy back then. I grew out of that and shy is probably as

far from me as possible at this point. I'm not at all shy today.

For me - never did anyone suspect selective mutism -I was just

called " shy " Perhaps too just needs more time?

For you say this has been going on for about 2 months. Look

to what changed in his life a few months ago and most likely there

lies the problem. When did start the preschool disabled

program? Is someone teasing him in the class perhaps?

Children with selective mutism also need to work with a speech

pathologist -and the therapy will actually involve more pressure

(behavioral) than is appropriate for a child that is just apraxic.

So don't worry about the stress from the apraxia therapy. Unlike

selective mutism, apraxia is not a psychological condition and

apraxic children do not respond well to pressure/behavioral therapy

in most cases (unless they have coexisting conditions as your

daughter may) With apraxic children for the most part SLPs helps

the child in a way that is fun -and multisensory ways are fun in

general. When done correctly the child doesn't even realize they

are working -they think it's just playing. (think of a game of tag

vs. someone telling you to jog for a certain amount of time for

example)

Does your 's SLP see this as selective mutism as well? Also

what are you observing in therapy that you believe is stressful for

right now?

Of course rule number one is make sure your child is diagnosed

properly. Selective mutism is very rare affecting less than 1% of

school children. (and mostly girls -which would mean even less than

a less than 1% chance that has this according to ASHA)

Oh yay here's a link that's not out of reach to all of us to read!

http://www.asha.org/public/speech/disorders/Selective-Mutism.htm

And if this is a regression:

" Adapted from Clinical Practice Guidelines Communication Disorders III 22-25

In addition, the policy statement from the neurology journal Neurology, (August,

2000), states that Absolute Indications for Immediate Evaluation include,

· No babbling or pointing or other gestures by twelve months · No single words

by sixteen months · No two-word spontaneous phrases by twenty-four months · Any

loss of any language or social skills at any age. "

http://www.cherab.org/information/latetalkerhandout.html

=====

[Guest guest]

>

> Examine when 's " withdrawal " started and report it not only

to

> the school, the SLP, but to his pediatrician/neurodevelopmental MD,

> as well as a child psychologist if all believe this to be selective

> mutism. There could be a number of reasons is only talking

> at home right now that his language is first developing -and it's

> best to explore this with the professionals and know for sure this

> is selective mutism before looking to fix it. I for one was very

> shy around others when I was little. I spoke very soft, hid behind

> my mom when she tried to introduce me to others. I had friends, I

> was just shy back then. I grew out of that and shy is probably as

> far from me as possible at this point. I'm not at all shy today.

> For me - never did anyone suspect selective mutism -I was just

> called " shy " Perhaps too just needs more time?

FIRST LET ME THANK FOR YOUR RESPONSE LISA, YES THE TEACHER AND SCHOOL

SLP BELIEVE IT IS SELECTIVE MUTISM AND HIS PRIVATE SLP SUSPECTS IT IS

AND REFERRED ME TO A CHILD PSHYCHOLOGIST WHICH I JUST STARTED TO

SEE. I ONLY HAVE SEEN HER ONCE AND ALONE B/C I DIDN'T WANT TO GIVE

HER THE WHOLE HISTORY IN FRONT OF JUSTIN. SHE ALSO FELT IT WAS

SELECTIVE MUTISM, GOING BY WHAT I WAS SAYING. THE THING THAT

CONCERNS ME THE MOST IS THAT JUSTIN WAS NEVER SHY. HE WAS ALWAYS SO

SOCIAL. HE WOULD JUST JUMP IN A GROUP OF KIDS AND SAY " HI " AND MAKE

FRIENDS. NOW HE IS TERRIFIED. ITS A BIG CHANGE. I DON'T THINK KIDS

BECOME SHY, UNLESS B/C HE IS OLDER NOW HE KNOWS HE IS DIFFERENT AND

HE CAN'T KEEP UP WITH HIS PEERS AS FAR AS LANGUAGE. JUST ONE THEORY?

>

> For you say this has been going on for about 2 months. Look

> to what changed in his life a few months ago and most likely there

> lies the problem. When did start the preschool disabled

> program? Is someone teasing him in the class perhaps?

JUSTIN STARTED IN AUGUST AND THIS MUTISM DIDN'T START UNTIL OCTOBER.

THE CHILD PSHYCHOLOGIST DIDN'T THINK IT WAS HIS SCHOOL B/C THERE

WOULDN'T BE A 2 MONTH DELAY. HOWEVER, YOU BRING UP A GOOD POINT WHAT

IF HE IS BEING TEASED?

JENNY

[Guest guest]

I have been concerned about this issue as well. Benny's ST is very

good and seems to know when to stop, but I can very well see that the

more he wants to say something, and the more anxious he gets about it,

the harder it is for him to say it. And this is typical of things that

have a real organic neurological basis--anxiety makes them worse.

That is not an answer for you but I do understand where you are coming

from.

Peace,

Kathy E.

On Dec 28, 2003, at 6:27 PM, wrote:

> this direct type of therapy is going

> to cause 's selective mutism to become worse. From all I have

> read its an anxiety disorder and the more you push the child the more

> anxious they get and the more they withdraw

[Guest guest]

Thanks for your response Kathy.

[Guest guest]

-you know me by now. I am so reluctant to putting on labels

that are not needed. And besides if you study the Rosenthal theory -

if all believe good or bad in a child -then you may help create your

belief. Since we all don't want to have

selective mutism, and it's not a fact yet -than let's see if there are simple

strategies to

help stop this. Since I don't have as much time right now (kids out of

school) if any of this seems to be in the right direction -we can

all add more tips like this to help.

In the movie " Maid in Manhattan " the lead guy in the movie is

talking to 's son in the movie about how

many speakers hold something like a paper clip " kind of like a

lightning rod " to help bring them the energy/confidence they need to speak. He

talks about how he uses the paper clip and

then talks about other famous speakers that hold paper clips like

Henry Kissinger. The boy says " but he is a terrible speaker " and

the man says " imagine him without the paperclip! " Anyway -it seems

to me that a simple Disney Dumbo trick may be worth trying like

this. Try this: When you want a child to hear something that you

don't want him to know you want him to hear. Pick up the phone and

tell " Mommy has to talk on the phone about big people stuff -

so go play " Then talk just loud enough for him to hear -but soft

enough to make it seem like you don't want him to hear. Here is an

example " conversation "

" Hi this is . You wanted to talk to me about a new bracelet

(etc.) that helps kids speak? Yes his name is and he is

doing amazing, he's up to three word sentences. Oh yes I know this

is very advanced. (pause for a bit between certain sentences like

this one -and laugh once in a while. Make sure you say 's

name loud enough here and there that you catch his attention to

points you want to make) So even though he is talking so well

already this will help him even more? Wow this is amazing to hear.

Yes. And it works right away too?! (don't forget to keep most of

this a loud whisper) He is here so I can't talk. (walk closer to

him at this point) Yes I'll come and pick it up "

Then put the " magic " bracelet on and watch. This is just one trick -

I have a ton of them!

I appears to me since you have talked to the school teacher that if

she was " aware " of the teasing she would have told you. I would say

to schedule a " circle of friends " just in case. It can't hurt -and

if there is a problem -I guarantee this works big time well!

When Tanner was in kindergarten last year a few months into school

starting -but after the Holidays I recall -I noticed a sudden

regression in his speech together with a sudden reluctance to

wanting to go to school. This went on for about three weeks while I

was trying to figure out what the cause was -while waiting for this

to pass. Tanner had more mild regressions in speech -at times right

before a surge in speech before. And at times his speech regresses

while he is working hard learning something new -but the reluctance

in wanting to go to school is what stood out to me since Tanner

always loved (and still loves) going to school. I asked Tanner more

than once in more than one way if someone had said something bad to

him at school, made fun of him etc. and he told me " no " I even used

the psychological tricks of talking about how I was teased as a

child (I never was -I lied) and how bad it made me feel to see if he

would relate -nope -he insisted he was not teased ever.

Even still, I finally called Tanner's teacher and asked her about my

observations and asked her if it is possible that he is being

teased. And yes, she told me that one little boy had started to

laugh " about a week ago " whenever Tanner answered a question in

class " but he was spoken to and she believed it only happened once

or twice and had stopped now " . (What's funny is that this little

boy was also in speech therapy -and according to the school SLP who

was furious when she found out what was going on " he had worse

speech problems than Tanner " )

Most teasing/discrimination is based in someone not feeling good

about themselves and/or not understanding.

Since I don't believe in getting upset with children, especially

kindergarten age children, and don't believe lectures would work for

this age anyway, I scheduled a " circle of friends " which the school

SLP also took part in. I went into the class and with Tanner

sitting right there I opened up with a question. " If someone from

the cartoon Scooby Doo was out in the hallway right now...who would

you want it to be? Scooby? Velma? Shaggy? " (knowing of course

that just about all kids would choose Scooby which of course they

did)

I then let them know that Scooby doesn't talk like everyone else -

" but he's lots of fun and a cool dude to hang out with right? " Then

I read a short Winnie the Pooh book about feelings -and used quick

examples they could relate to for each feeling. When I came to sad -

I talked about Tanner....and how he is sad when someone laughs at

the way he talks. I explained to the class about how Tanner had

high fevers as a baby that put a boo boo in his brain -but that he

is very smart and has been working hard at learning to talk for

years now. I talked about children that are deaf or that have other

impairments (and the SLP and OT had brought in some of the children

in the school in wheelchairs)

By this time -all the children were surrounding Tanner and putting

their hands around him hugging him. We then went around the room

and each child talked about something that they had trouble doing at

first -and did anyone ever laugh at them while they were learning.

All the children brought up something that they had to learn -and

some talked about how someone laughed at them when they fell off the

bike, etc. However when we got to the little boy that had teased

Tanner he could not think of anything that he didn't know how to do -

he was the only one. The teacher said " Oh come on ____ when you

were a little tiny baby you didn't know how to skateboard now did

you? You had to learn that. " He agreed. I then talked about all

the things that Tanner is really good at, and that " just like

Scooby " Tanner may not talk like everyone else -but that doesn't

mean he's not a cool dude to hang out with.

I then walked out to the hallway and got a bag of Scooby Doo party

favor type toys and said " Scooby left these for all of you guys! "

The above was quick - but huge wonderful impact.

After that day -there was never teasing again -and even the one kid

that had teased Tanner was now hanging out with Tanner. There was

an immediate improvement in Tanner's speech. And...by the way he

then talked to me about what had happened and (finally) told me

about how this little boy laughed when he talked. Even though the

teacher said it was only for one week -I'm 100% convinced that she

just was not aware of it prior -it apparently was going on 2 weeks

prior.

Our kids don't always open up to tell us right away -even when they

are able to talk as I learned. So discuss the circle of friends

concept -and let me know if you need any help with it!

Here are some links on it -just adapt it to speech impairments and

keep it simple at first like I did to see if that works. If needed

however -this same concept is also used as an ongoing situation. And

as we talk about in The Late Talker book -this concept can be used

not only in schools -but with neighborhood kids, playgroups etc.

http://www.presscitizen-

shopper.com/Urbandale/story/1112202003_urb5.asp

http://www.cesa5.k12.wi.us/SKIP/circle.htm

http://www.viguide.com/mapvi/Downloads/circfrnd0396.pdf

=====

[Guest guest]

Hi ,

I know you have had lots of replies ,so your probably feeling a bit better.

But you said your son speaks at home, would it be possible to have speech

therapy at home? Im sorry i dont know the age of your son, maybe he is at

an age where he is becoming aware of his difference in speech with his

peers, if he has not shown any shyness previously this could be his reason

for choosing not to speak in front of certain people. I noticed that my

daughter would do this a lot when she first started school, i would always

say she was a different child at home, and for a long time i felt it was her

greatest hurdle. We are finally seeing some of that old confidence coming

back and with it a vast improvement in her speech. I know myself if i dont

feel very confident at a certain thing, ie singing-i will do anything not to

do it, although i will sing my loudest at home in front of my poor family.

You must carry on with the ST thats so important, you'll know that already

though. I think you've probably just got a child who is sensitive and

conscientious and at a piont where he is old enough to understand he is not

great at everything, YET. With my daughter i just spent every day telling

her how fantastic she was, soooo much better than everyone else in every

way. It took a long time , and she is still not super confident but she is

100 times better. I know 2 months can seem such a long time when its on your

mind night and day, but i am sure with the right approach you will be over

this problem very soon. Take care Jane.

Original Message -----

From: " " <superj777@...>

< >

Sent: Sunday, December 28, 2003 11:27 PM

Subject: [ ] Selective mutism and Apraxia...PLEASE HELP

> Ok it seems that my son has selective mutism. For weeks I've been

> telling my self its a phase, but its lasted for two months. He does

> not say a word around people he knows. At home his language is

> progressing (thank goodness) wonderfully! I am getting three word

> sentences more and more.

>

> Now here is my concern and question, obviously with apraxia they need

> specialized speech therapy. Usually and often the speech therapist

> will try to get them to repeat language or have them look at their

> mouth to model speech. Or clap hands or tap the tables, whatever the

> case may be I'm concerned that this direct type of therapy is going

> to cause 's selective mutism to become worse. From all I have

> read its an anxiety disorder and the more you push the child the more

> anxious they get and the more they withdraw.

>

> So what do I do? Do I take him out of his Pre-K? Should I stop

> speech therapy for a while? I'm so confused. Its awful that both of

> these conditions have to contradict eachother!!!!!

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

, thanks for giving me these wonderful ideas. I'm trying the

bracelet thing tonight! I'll let you know how it goes.

Also, I love hearing the stories about Tanner. You and he are truly

my inspiration.

[Guest guest]

Thanks Jane, its true that its so important to tell them how

wonderful they are. I'm going to REALLY start working on that now!

Thanks to everyone for your feedback.

[Guest guest]

I am so sorry your son has to suffer from both of these difficult issues.

I wish I had a bit of wisdom for you but unfortunately I am not able to help.

I will keep you in my prayers.

Tammy

<superj777@...> wrote:

Ok it seems that my son has selective mutism. For weeks I've been

telling my self its a phase, but its lasted for two months. He does

not say a word around people he knows. At home his language is

progressing (thank goodness) wonderfully! I am getting three word

sentences more and more.

Now here is my concern and question, obviously with apraxia they need

specialized speech therapy. Usually and often the speech therapist

will try to get them to repeat language or have them look at their

mouth to model speech. Or clap hands or tap the tables, whatever the

case may be I'm concerned that this direct type of therapy is going

to cause 's selective mutism to become worse. From all I have

read its an anxiety disorder and the more you push the child the more

anxious they get and the more they withdraw.

So what do I do? Do I take him out of his Pre-K? Should I stop

speech therapy for a while? I'm so confused. Its awful that both of

these conditions have to contradict eachother!!!!!