Re: School questions...

[Guest guest]

-Hi Marina,

I send my son Jack 3.3 to a preschool 2 days a week for 2.5 hrs each

day he goes. WHy? because he has some serious social skills! Would I

have sent him if he wasn't special needs? It is hard to say because I

don't know what Jack would be like being typical. I just moved to a

new state not that long ago and do not have many friends that I could

do play dates with which is really important for Jack, to be around

the same children multiple x's a week. Pre-school is a personal

decision that I personally would never give my opinion on unless

someone really was torn about sending their child and asked my

opinion. I am a SAHM to Jack and his brother 1.8 a typical

child, they play together sometimes but mostly fight. It is important

for JAck to be in a preschool setting.

Their is absolutly nothing wrong with sending your child straight to

kindergarten, hey I did it when I was 5, I turned out all right, I

think lol!!

I understand the debate especially when you are talking to parents of

typically developing children. They just don't get it, even ones of

special needs children. My sister who has 2 wonderful typically

developing children the oldest 3 said to me " You are so lucky you

don't have to pay for preschoool it is so expensive " I think you see

what I mean, how irritating.

So, Do what you think is best, if you don't want your child going to

preschool don't send him! Every child is different, and not

everychild needs the same thing even preschool!

Eileen

-- In @y..., " marina3029 " <philipmary@z...> wrote:

> Ok, let's start out by saying that some of us are SAHMs and some of

> us aren't. Some of us can't be for financial reasons, some of us

> prefer to work, etc.. We all want what's best for our kids, so

none

> of this is loaded, ok??

>

> I happen to be a SAHM. I have 2 little boys, both of whom have

> speech delays. My oldest (just 4 - diagnosed apraxic at 2.5) knows

> his alphabet, knows the sounds most letters make (we're working on

> reading), can count to 20 and more, plays with all sorts of toys,

is

> athletic, loves books, etc.. He does not and has not gone to

> preschool. It just wasn't right for either of us. I'm just

starting

> to knock the idea around now, but not because I'm expecting

> edification from school, just social skills and because he's

growing

> bored and, in all fairness, I need to spend more time with my

younger

> son (undiagnosed as of yet - we're waiting on a follow-up audiology

> appt.).

>

> Yesterday, I asked a neighbor (also a SAHM) if her son (2 mos older

> than mine) could do up a zipper and snap on HIS OWN PANTS WHILE HE

> WAS WEARING THEM (not on a pair on a doll or on the floor, which he

> can generally do). She started to answer then hesitated. So she

> would realize I wasn't trying to be judgemental but was looking for

a

> reference point, I told her that I wasn't sure my son had the hand

> strength to do it. Her answer was that they worked with them on

that

> in preschool.

>

> I told her that he didn't go to preschool (which she knows). She

> said, " Oh, but he will. " To which I replied, " No, probably not. "

> (Yes, I got defensive - this is not the first time I've had this

> conversation with her.) Appalled, she said, " You're just going to

> send him straight to kindergarten?? " I said, " Maybe. Besides

> , it's a little different situation than you have. " (which

> she knows)

>

> Then she was questioning me about where I was going to send him, a

> wonderful local Montessori or whatever. I told her that I didn't

> think the Montessori had enough structure for him. Then she

> said, " Oh, you're going to have to send him to Springer. " Springer

> school is a FABULOUS private school for kids with LD. They're

famous

> the world over for their programs and I'm very lucky that they're

> right down the street from me. It's a wonderful option if he needs

> it. What bugged me was that it was a slam from her.

>

> So, finally, after all the background, here's the questions:

>

> How many of you sent your kids to preschool? Why? Was it for

> learning, stimulation, social skills, ST, or what? At what age did

> they go?

>

> What's wrong with sending your child straight to kindergarten??

It's

> what I did, my husband did and most people I know did. Preschool

> seems to be a fairly recent invention. He's only mine for such a

> short period of time - I used to be a teacher, I know - that I

don't

> want to part with it just to get him into any program out there.

>

> Can/Could your 4 year olds do up their own jeans by themselves? He

> dresses himself otherwise.

>

> If your son couldn't do up his pants, would you wait for a

preschool

> teacher to " work on that with him " ??? (I know: snotty)

>

> I'm just so sick of all the judgement - You WORK instead of staying

> home with your child? You DON'T send your child to preschool?

Your

> child doesn't READ? He can't TALK?? Why is he so LOUD??

Sometimes

> I could just scream...

>

> So, I'm sorry this is so inordinately long, but you guys AREN'T

> judgemental and I know I'll get some good answers from you. And I

> value your opinions. Besides, if I ask anyone in person and get a

> reaction like above, I may be in jail by nightfall...

>

> Thanks - Marina

[Guest guest]

Hi Marina,

I have put in the pre-school disabled program and I really

have to say it was the best thing I ever did. I am fortunate that we

have a good program as I see some parents aren't so lucky. He gets

speech and OT in school and the curriculum is language based. I

attribute his progress from the constant drilling that he gets in his

school program.

Socially it has increased his confidence 100%. He loves his friends

and just recently I signed him up for gymnastics and he never looked

back. He is very excited to be with new friends.

Check out the schools in your town. See if there is a good fir for

him. You may even get an idea on how well he will fare in

kindergarten.

Good luck with whatever you decide.

denise

> Ok, let's start out by saying that some of us are SAHMs and some of

> us aren't. Some of us can't be for financial reasons, some of us

> prefer to work, etc.. We all want what's best for our kids, so

none

> of this is loaded, ok??

>

> I happen to be a SAHM. I have 2 little boys, both of whom have

> speech delays. My oldest (just 4 - diagnosed apraxic at 2.5) knows

> his alphabet, knows the sounds most letters make (we're working on

> reading), can count to 20 and more, plays with all sorts of toys,

is

> athletic, loves books, etc.. He does not and has not gone to

> preschool. It just wasn't right for either of us. I'm just

starting

> to knock the idea around now, but not because I'm expecting

> edification from school, just social skills and because he's

growing

> bored and, in all fairness, I need to spend more time with my

younger

> son (undiagnosed as of yet - we're waiting on a follow-up audiology

> appt.).

>

> Yesterday, I asked a neighbor (also a SAHM) if her son (2 mos older

> than mine) could do up a zipper and snap on HIS OWN PANTS WHILE HE

> WAS WEARING THEM (not on a pair on a doll or on the floor, which he

> can generally do). She started to answer then hesitated. So she

> would realize I wasn't trying to be judgemental but was looking for

a

> reference point, I told her that I wasn't sure my son had the hand

> strength to do it. Her answer was that they worked with them on

that

> in preschool.

>

> I told her that he didn't go to preschool (which she knows). She

> said, " Oh, but he will. " To which I replied, " No, probably not. "

> (Yes, I got defensive - this is not the first time I've had this

> conversation with her.) Appalled, she said, " You're just going to

> send him straight to kindergarten?? " I said, " Maybe. Besides

> , it's a little different situation than you have. " (which

> she knows)

>

> Then she was questioning me about where I was going to send him, a

> wonderful local Montessori or whatever. I told her that I didn't

> think the Montessori had enough structure for him. Then she

> said, " Oh, you're going to have to send him to Springer. " Springer

> school is a FABULOUS private school for kids with LD. They're

famous

> the world over for their programs and I'm very lucky that they're

> right down the street from me. It's a wonderful option if he needs

> it. What bugged me was that it was a slam from her.

>

> So, finally, after all the background, here's the questions:

>

> How many of you sent your kids to preschool? Why? Was it for

> learning, stimulation, social skills, ST, or what? At what age did

> they go?

>

> What's wrong with sending your child straight to kindergarten??

It's

> what I did, my husband did and most people I know did. Preschool

> seems to be a fairly recent invention. He's only mine for such a

> short period of time - I used to be a teacher, I know - that I

don't

> want to part with it just to get him into any program out there.

>

> Can/Could your 4 year olds do up their own jeans by themselves? He

> dresses himself otherwise.

>

> If your son couldn't do up his pants, would you wait for a

preschool

> teacher to " work on that with him " ??? (I know: snotty)

>

> I'm just so sick of all the judgement - You WORK instead of staying

> home with your child? You DON'T send your child to preschool?

Your

> child doesn't READ? He can't TALK?? Why is he so LOUD??

Sometimes

> I could just scream...

>

> So, I'm sorry this is so inordinately long, but you guys AREN'T

> judgemental and I know I'll get some good answers from you. And I

> value your opinions. Besides, if I ask anyone in person and get a

> reaction like above, I may be in jail by nightfall...

>

> Thanks - Marina

[Guest guest]

Hello Marina

I am also a SAHM now. I have 2 older boys one that is 21 & one that is 17 and 2

younger children. When they were young I was also a SAHM. Both of which I

chose not to send to preschool. Both have done perfect in school without any

problems related to that. Both have been in honors classes & on the honor roll.

One is a senior in high school & one is attending a affordable community

college. With 4 children it is impossible to find it in the budget for anything

more. I am sure everyone here can relate with the expenses we have due to

therapies!!! My 17 year old stuttered severly as a young child, back then there

was no internet to get all this great info from. When he entered school they

put him in st a couple of times a week but not really sure how much he got out

of it!!! But bottom line is that they did great!!!

My daughter is 6 & in 1st grade now. She also did not go to preschool & is one

of the top in her class. She has been reading since lastyear & it amazes me. I

just have not had the time to work with her so all this is at school. We are

running into the problem this year that she is bored. The teacher is giving her

work this week to keep her busy while they review last years material.

Now onto my 4 year old apraxic son. I have chosen to send him to a

communication disorder preschool that meets 5 days a week for 2 1/2 hours a day.

It is through our public school system. I really like the teacher & that was

part of what made my decision. It is group therapy so not real sure how much

there he will get. We are still sending him to private therapy 2x a week. Part

of the reason I sent him is that we just aren't in touch with many other

children to have playdates & I felt he needed that. He looks forward to it each

day. So my point is that each child is different & there is no right or wrong

answer, just what you feel right with!! Sorry this is long, hope it helps.

Best wishes with your decision it is a tough one!!

Tammy I. in FL mom to 4 really great kids that are succeeding at everything so

far!!!!

[ ] School questions...

So, finally, after all the background, here's the questions:

How many of you sent your kids to preschool? Why? Was it for

learning, stimulation, social skills, ST, or what? At what age did

they go?

What's wrong with sending your child straight to kindergarten??

Can/Could your 4 year olds do up their own jeans by themselves? He

dresses himself otherwise.

If your son couldn't do up his pants, would you wait for a preschool

teacher to " work on that with him " ??? (I know: snotty)

Thanks - Marina

[Guest guest]

At 11:59 AM 8/28/2002 +0000, you wrote:

>So, finally, after all the background, here's the questions:

>

>How many of you sent your kids to preschool? Why? Was it for

>learning, stimulation, social skills, ST, or what? At what age did

>they go?

Hi Marina--

I will give my opinion from a few different viewpoints. :-) First, as a

former Head Start teacher, we used to hear all the time (from k teachers)

how the kids who had been through our program were much more prepared for

kindergarten than the one who hadn't gone. They had already learned how to

separate from their parents without tears, to work in a group w/ other

kids, to follow the routines of school and the directions of the teacher,

and of course they had much more knowledge of the basics of kindergarten

such as identifying letters, numbers, colors etc. Of course, if you are a

former teacher and feel you are already exposing your child to all this

academic background at home etc, that's wonderful...but IMO the social

aspect might be more difficult to attain. I know many of us did go right

to kindergarten as children and did just fine, we also have to keep in mind

how times have changed.... :-) These days kindergarten is much more than

just playing, rest time and snack time, and much more is expected of kids

who are in it.

Second-- my opinion as a parent of a daughter who at age 3 had severe

articulation issues, was usually not understood by anyone outside family,

and who could not string more than 3 words together-- I had Brittany

evaluated by the school system, who did not find her delayed enough to

accept into the preschool handicapped program. They told me the best thing

I could do for her was to put her in a regular preschool classroom w/

normally speaking children, which I did. Since she missed the kindergarten

cut off by 9 days, she attended preschool for 3 years. I cannot express

how much she learned and grew from her experience at school. During her

1st year she was introduced to the concepts of (and sometimes struggled

with!) respecting the authority of the teacher, sharing and cleaning up,

sitting still and quietly at circle time. During her 2nd yr she had

mastered these skills and dealt more with improving her language and

communication skills, forming closer friendships, and recognizing letters,

numbers etc. The 3rd year was more academic than the previous 2, and she

totally absorbed all the info like a sponge. She is reading and writing

beautifully and I know in my heart that she learned a good chunk of that

from school, not from me. Her speech (fortunately) has caught up w/her

peers (w/ the exception of the wretched 'R' sound!) and she is SOO ready to

go to kindergarten.

Now, from my perspective as a SAHM mom of a 30 month old son who was

recently diagnosed w/ severe apraxia-- as much as I try and work w/ him at

home, there is no way I would *not* send him to a preschool program. Even

if by some chance he is not accepted into the preschool handicapped program

(and he better be!), I would send him to the same school my daughter went

to, so he could have all the social and academic exposure and be prepared

for what is to come in kindergarten. Especially because he is going to be

'different' or 'behind' in his verbal sills, I don't want him to feel he is

'behind' in anything else if I can help it. I want him to feel confident

that he can succeed in k because he has already succeeded in preschool.

FWIW, my daughter still had trouble w/ her jeans at age 4 and needed help

w/ the snaps. I put her in leggings a lot. :-) W/ your son you could

just put him in sweats for awhile if that makes your life easier.

You have to do what you feel is best for your son. Hope reading everyone's

opinions helps you w/ your decision. Good luck..

--Lis, Brittany (5 3/4, typical) and (30 mos, severe apraxia)

[Guest guest]

Marina go with you gut.

I'm a SAHM. I sent my first to preschool because he was an

October baby. So far he has been the oldest in all his classes. He

needed the stimulation. The preschool I sent my boys to is play

orientated and most parents liked it for the social side. I had

always intended to send my children to public school. So why would I

want them reading in preschool when they would not start reading

until 1st grade. Our school district works on spelling before

reading, although did read in Kdg and the teacher did work

with him. The school dist has an obligation to work with the child at

the child's level.

is my apraxic child and a July baby. I sent him to preschool

last year because he wanted to go. It was overwhelming for him. I

thought of taking him out during the first half of the year, but

chose to ride it out because he had made friends there that he would

have missed. The preschool had several unscheduled parent/teacher

conferences with me about disrupting the class. It was hard

to tell if he was having problems because he was young, the youngest

in his class or if there was something more to it. I decided it was

better he learns these things in preschool before he got to kdg.

This year I have enrolled him in the 4 yr old program, which is m/w/f

for 2 ½ hours, last year was t/th for 2 hours/day. I am having he

evaluated for the disabled preschool program this year. If he makes

it I will drop the m/w/f 4 yr old program and put him in the disable

program. still needs help socially and I hope to have it

worked out before he goes to kdg.

It is okay to send your child to preschool even if you are doing it

to have some time off from your kids. Lord knows SAHM never get a

break. I have a 4-½ month old baby, . I am looking forward to

school starting. as Torticollis and will be starting PT with

Easter Seals. I am trying to get them scheduled while my boys are in

school. But that being said it is also okay to spending every moment

with your child if that is what makes you comfortable.

Don't listen to your neighbor

Heidi – mom to 6 (starting first grade tomorrow, HEY) 4

(apraxia and DSI) 4 ½ months (tort/plagio)

P.S. didn't learn how to handle zippers and snaps on his pants

until this year (age 6), and he still can't be bothered with them.

So he wears sweats to school. In the local preschool program here,

the do not work on snaps and zippers. They do work on the children

getting their own coats on.

[Guest guest]

My son went to preschool when he was 2. He went every day all day

long. I was pregnant with the twins, and I was on mandatory

bedrest. After the twins were born, they got sick, almost died, and

now have speech problems and other issues. My son was originally

only going to stay in preschool for a short while, but it ended up

being a long while. When he was 3 1/2, I did pull him out for about

6 months. He was totally burned out of preschool. I put him back

in preschool but only 2 days a week after the 6 month break.

My girls started preschool when they were 3. went to a

special ed class 4 afternoons (11:30-2:30), but we ended up pulling

her out of it after 4 months. went to a private preschool when

she was 3 (2 mornings a week). At 4, they both went to the private

preschool 2 mornings a week. Last year, they went to private

preschool 3 mornings a week.

I originally put the girls in preschool to help with their speech

and to give me a break.

I don't necessarily think a kid has to go to preschool. The best

thing we did was to set up a neighborhood " preschool " . Several moms

got together and set up a formal playdate once a week with our

kids. We worked on our ABCs, we did a craft, we did story time, an

the kids ate lunch together. I did this with the girls, and they

loved it!! We had anywhere from 4-6 kids. I think it helped my

girls more than a real preschool.

Also, look at all of the homeschool parents for elementary, junior

high, and high school. No one seems to be complaining about those

kids.

I think as long as your child has some sort of social interaction

with other kids, then they are going to do well in school.

Suzi

--- In @y..., " marina3029 " <philipmary@z...>

wrote:

[Guest guest]

Well, unfortunately there is NO way this isn't going to be a loaded

topic.. however, I can understand your pain.

I did send my son to preschool for 2 years before he entered

mainstream Kindergarten last week. It was an Early Intervention/

Special Programs preschool and fortunately we got the most AWESOME

teacher and my son thrived from it. I actually had him in a Toddler's

Day Out program at 2 1/2 because one, he is an only child and we felt

he needed to be around other kids for the socialization part of it

and two, I know this sounds selfish, but I needed a break. IT isn't

easy entertaining and being playmate a toddler(or anyone for that

matter, LOL!) for 13 hours a day!

At 4, DJ could do a zipper, but not the snap, it was just too hard on

most pants. Some had a lite snap but most of his jean shorts had that

heavy duty snap that was too hard. He can do it now at 5 though.

I do think that some children are just not socially ready for the

whole " school " thing. I have seen it in DJ's past preschool. There

are the ones that even to the end of the year still burst into tears

when mommy or daddy drops them off, etc. Some moms are better at

teaching their kids things at home than others. I think it all

depends on what works best for each family/child.

My personal opinion is that, especially if you can get your

speech/language delayed child into an E.I. program preschool one

should. I dont think it should be an all day thing, but for a few

hours a week, 2-4 times a week is a good start, especially if the

child will receive therapy services. Again, JMHO.

(I feel you though girl!)

Vivian

[Guest guest]

Marina,

I am a mix between a SAHM and a part time working mom. I get to sit on the

fence most of the time. I work about 12 hours a week in one shift as a

registered nurse. Great job and good to get away from the craziness at home. I

will answer you on what I did and why I did it. I have three children ages 5.5

yrs, 3.4yrs and 9months.

How many of you sent your kids to preschool? Why? Was it for

learning, stimulation, social skills, ST, or what? At what age did

they go? My oldest started preschool in a mother's day out at age 20 months

because I was working full time and worked night shift and needed a little nap

after working so I sent him to preschool. He cried and it made me cry and it

was not very productive at that point for my son. He went two days a week. I

was pregnant with number 2 at this point. I had heard many say to send your

child for social skills but I feel now that you can get that around age 4 the

year before kindergarten. The oldest started Kindergarten this year and learned

a lot in his pre k class which was three days a week. He needed the structure

away from home. He is a very loud,busy little boy. My neighbor is home

schooling her son and he is my oldest sons age. Who is right? Neither IT IS A

PERSONAL CHOICE and no one elses business. My 3 year old started at age 26

months (DX DSI, Oral Motor Apraxia, Hypotonia) I wouldn't have sent him that

early but I felt I couldn't do what all he needed and he was just falling more

behind by the day. He went to a developmental preschool and I would not have

changed anything I did with him. He did improve a lot in that time. He had ST,

OT and PT at the school. Now he is in the public system. He loves it and

things are going well. Who knows what I will do with my 9 month old--at this

point I see no reason to start him in a preschool until he is a preschooler.

What's wrong with sending your child straight to kindergarten?? I do think

that kids are doing things earlier than in the past but from your history it

sounds like you taught your son a lot already. How does he do in a group of

kids? It is your choice and don't let any one make you feel like you are doing

something wrong. You are the mom and you do know what is best for your child.

They are only ours for such a short time.

Can/Could your 4 year olds do up their own jeans by themselves? He

dresses himself otherwise. My oldest is the least independent child in the

world I think. He can now snap his pants and it was not a strength issue. It

is an attitude issue. He was about 4.5 when he did this consistently without

prompting. He was dressing his self and putting on his socks etc... My 3.4yr

old is just learniing to pull up his pants but he is delayed and he and I are

working very hard together to help him along.

If your son couldn't do up his pants, would you wait for a preschool

teacher to " work on that with him " ??? (I know: snotty) No I would not and

did not- I taught my son that but peer pressure did help. A preschool teacher

is there to help with.

I'm just so sick of all the judgement - You WORK instead of staying

home with your child? You DON'T send your child to preschool? Your

child doesn't READ? He can't TALK?? Why is he so LOUD?? Sometimes

I could just scream...

God Bless

Daphne

[Guest guest]

Hi, Marina. I am also a SAHM for the time-being -- I am going back to

school the fall of 2003 to get my masters in elementary school teaching as I

imagine that's what I can do to make my schedule most match Wiley's when

he's a little older. He'll be almost 4 when I return. Anyway, Wiley is

entering pre-school this November. There is a small preschool just up the

block from me and I think it's 4 days a week for 2 hours at a time. I am

sending him not to learn how to put on his pants, etc. - I guess I'm sending

him for a) services, though I don't know what services yet exactly as I have

no intention of ending private speech therapy, and the social

interaction. I think it'll be good for him to be around other children and

children who are speaking. Wiley is incredibly social and just loves

children - if I go to a Blockbuster, he'll blend in to someone else's family

with children - at the zoo, he'll adopt the parent with the most children.

So the only reason I'm really sending him at all is because he is just so

ultra friendly and drawn to kids -- I think he'll love it. I also think his

exposure to all the language in a preschool setting will be good for him

also, as he is very communicative and maybe the teachers will open up new

doors for him. At the very least, he'll get to play with other kids to his

heart's content and see what they're up to and I'll hopefully meet moms in

this community with young children so I can set up more play dates than I

currently do. At his playgroup which is 2 hours long, he separates from me

immediately and goes about his business until it is time to go home. So I

think he'll take to it readily.

I don't think preschool is this necessary thing. I think it depends on the

child and the parent - if your son is exposed to the social experiences he

wants then what's the harm of waiting until kindergarten? Someone else will

need to answer to that because I don't know what the issue is.

Also, my husband was mentioning he might get a month's grant in CA in the

middle of winter - preschool won't stand in our way I can tell you. It just

seems like something fun for Wiley to me, a room full of toys and activities

and socially structured play, etc. -- I guess I'll just see how he does and

continue on depending on that.

Betsy

[Guest guest]

Hi, Marina -

We also put Josh in preschool when he turned 3 and it was great.

He received his therapies at school, we had a good relationship with

the teachers, he got speech/language constantly, and he has the

social interaction with other kids. Josh's first year was spent

coming with me to my office (thank goodness I had a very

understanding boss!) everyday, all day. He was a quiet, good little

guy and everyone in the office loved him (he's now kind of a " mascot "

for the office and everyone keeps up on his development issues).

But, at a year, he was getting more rambunctious and noisy and I was

not getting the work done as quickly as I should. So we put him in a

great daycare program that worked with us on his issues, we had some

therapies there, some at home, and he had great socialization with

age-appropriate kids - which was as real boost for developing some

skills like crawling and walking (he has hypotonia and sensory issues

as well as apraxia and dyspraxia). He stayed in daycare until 3 when

he went into the developmental preschool through the school district

for 2 1/2 hours a day, then to daycare for the afternoon (nap and

playtime with other kids in an inclusive daycare setting at our

Easter Seals).

Like you and your husband, I didn't go to preschool when I was

little - we just played with the kids in the neighborhood and learned

a lot of the things Josh is learning by playing in a preschool and

daycare setting. But then, I didn't need therapy when I was little,

either. And, my mom didn't have to work like my husband and I do

(financial considerations - which, with hope, will change so I can go

to part-time). I can see good in both sides. It really is

your call and, easier said than done, don't let anyone make you feel

bad for following your gut. Only you know what's best for you and

your kids.

Sherry, , (typical 15-year-old) and (4 and trying

very, very hard)

[Guest guest]

Hey Marina!

I went to a preschool when I was little -and I remember liking it so

much that one day when my mom was dropping my big brother off at the

elementary school I told my mom that I couldn't wait to go to big

school too like my brother -and she told me that I would go soon.

What's so funny is that months later - a few days or so after

starting Kindergarten I said to my mom " I change my mind " and she

said " about what? " I said " I don't want to go to big school

anymore " Of course my mom had no idea what I was talking about and

of course back then at five I thought my mom could make anything

happen. For awhile I was so upset with myself that I had to open my

mouth and ask to go to " big school " -and I actually really believed

that was the only reason I was there! It ended up (of course) that I

loved Kindergarten and my teacher and all my new friends.

I really believe that each of us -the parents -know in our hearts

what is best for our children. And as I can show you with my two -

what's best for one is not what's best for the other.

Some say I have a way of being snotty in a nice way. Whatever that

means, if someone like your neighbor makes another dig about your

parenting skills -here's a good way to respond: " Now I know why they

say what they do " and she'll say " What? " and you can say " God only

gives the special children to special parents -because we know what's

best for them " If you want to be really snotty -at the end of that

pause, laugh, and then add " obviously "

I sent both my boys to preschool for different reasons. Even though

Dakota attended a " normal " preschool, he was in therapy from 3 weeks

old. Dakota was a late talker probably from the crushed nerves, torn

muscles and head and neck injuries from birth trauma. By the time I

found out two years later about contacting our state's Early

Intervention department for therapy through a neighbor (not any of

the pediatric doctors that he saw) Dakota's delay was " only " 27% -not

the 33% he needed to qualify. Even though the neurologists had

Dakota at a 6 month delay at 2 years old that " nobody could say if it

would be permanent or not " he didn't qualify for Early Intervention.

In spite of the severity of his history and letters from great

pediatric neurologists like Dr. Trevor DeSouza -he never got into any

state or school Early Intervention programs.

I soon discovered that those children that get into EI early tend to

stay in there even when they have a surge that brings them to an area

where if they were to get retested they would no longer qualify.

Probably some red tape paper work thing. I say this because while I

had to pay for therapy and drive all over -I used to run into others

in the stores who had children Dakota's age who were talking better

them him and that were receiving therapy services in home through

EI. So just another reason to go for the EI evaluation early.

Dakota maybe didn't qualify -but he still had significant delays and

needed therapy that we and (fortunately) insurance paid for.

Dakota appeared to thrive in the stimulation he received from being

around the group of children. At the playground and at parties he

loved playing with other children. We used to live in an area of NJ

where there were no sidewalks -and we were on 6 1/2 acres, so even

though I drove to the playground every day when I could, and worked

nonstop at home with Dakota doing home therapy which I was given by

at first just the OT -then the OT and SLP -Dakota's greatest surge to

being seen as " normal " was when I enrolled him for three days a week

at a really great preschool called Union Village in Berkeley Heights,

NJ.

Tanner was very different than Dakota in that he was fine at birth

and then regressed after 2 weeks of high fevers at 11 months. I just

discovered due to the move to Florida that in fact Tanner was given a

vaccine right before the fevers -his third Hep B shot was at 11 months. After

the

fevers was when Tanner lost language -and developed DSI and

hypotonia. At parties or around other children Tanner would go off

to a corner and withdraw. To this day if Tanner is not in the right

situation I know it, except now he tells me. The right preschool

disabled program provided the right therapies that Tanner required in

addition to what I supplemented at home and through private. I was

not looking for socialization in the beginning for him at three or

four. I'm not sure either how important that is if the child is

provided with socialization at home. Tanner is very social and

friendly today in spite of his awkward beginnings. Just yesterday he

came home from school all excited because he has not only new

friends -but a new " girlfriend. " He told me " she hugs me anytime we

doe to liebree " and " she's two steps ahead pretty of and

Brittany " whatever that means. All I know is that up till yesterday

he told everyone he was marrying . (he's only six years old

and in Kindergarten!)

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