Re: Should my son stay in Preschool

[Guest guest]

i can relate.... my son who is now 6. November 9.. has been in preschool for

3 years.. private preschool... he finally goes to Kintergarden at 5.. the

teacher tells me he is in behind the other kids.........all i ever see is

coloring and gluing stuff.......so after 6 months of school...i take him out and

put

him a private school....well, the kintergardens there are READING!......... SO

the principal tells me , he is too far behind so she puts him in prek4... and

he is not a little kid!.... so now i am wondering do i put him in

kintergarden next year with the 5,s? ., and he is 6, and will be going on

7........it is

so frustrating... i decided to put him in first grade with a aid...i have

bought so much software and preschool books to help him..........wish i had more

suggestions.............Debbie

[Guest guest]

Hi,

My did 3 years of preschool and although she has problems with

communicating with others, she tested at the beginning of the year of

kindergarten

at above level for the end of the year for the average kindergarten child. I

think sometimes the extra year gives that little extra that they need since

communicating is more difficult. Good luck!

eBay.com Seller List: joecrisjon3

[Guest guest]

In a message dated 12/1/2003 6:03:38 PM Eastern Standard Time,

preston10@... writes:

If I do get little reports they say was unable to do task ect.

How about asking them what he is ABLE to do?

I used to find myself dwelling on the things wasn't ABLE to do, until

one day the light bulb went off and I asked the teacher to write in the

communication book all the things she was ABLE to do that day. Worked like a

charm.

They often focus on their weaknesses which is fine, but we need to know what

they are ABLE to do.

For instance cannot write her name or draw anything that requires fine

motor she is lost at, however, she READS or memorizes whatever she sees. She

can identify all the days of the week, every month, can count to 100 etc.

Try asking them for the positives.

HTH

Dana

`s mom 4-ACC, SOD, HYDRO(SHUNTED), CHIARI(DECOMPRESSED),

SBO,GTUBE,SEIZURES,CDLS..and a VERY smart cookie!!!

ALSO, ALI 6, MIKE 15,JOHN 17, AND AMANDA 18

WIFE TO KEVIN-who is battling cancer

[Guest guest]

So he is 4.4 right now? So is he what, about a July birthday? If

so, then I would probably lean towards having him do a third year of

preschool. Remember, a lot of " typical " kids do not start kdgn on

time either--their parents hold them back for social/emotional

development, or physical development or whatever. Those

June/July/August birthday kiddo's are very young and given that he is

a boy... I would venture to say that it would be likely that he would

have a hard time in kdgn even without the apraxia to deal with, much

less the other issues you are describing. I would give him another

year of preschool. If he has a true learning disability, he will

have the disability whether you start him on time or give him another

year-- the learning disability won't go away. Learning will always be

difficult. However, I think with the extra year of preschool, it

gives his fine motor skills more time to develop so that he will be

better equiped to start writing tasks... gives his social skills an

extra year so that he can have less frustration and better peer

interactions... I would say give him another year. It at least

offers the opportunity for him to do better the following year.

W

> Hi, maybe some of you can help me by telling me what

> you done in this situation.

> The school wants to know if I want my son to stay in preschool

another year (which is what they think should be done, or go to

kindergarten.

[Guest guest]

I was in your position last year. My son turned 5 this past July. I was torn

on whether or not to keep him or send him to kindergarten. Don't make your

decision just yet. I know where my son was this time last year. He knew only

about half his alphabet, and only about half the time. He was better with

numbers.

He was not able to hold a pencil properly. Could not take care of his

bathroom needs beyond peeing.The gains he made academically between now and June

were

phenominal. He matured to a point that his prek teacher said he was ready, I

still had reservations. He was very motivated to achieve, he seems to be a

perfectionist, which is very frustrating for all. I did start him in

kindergarten, still with reservations, so far he is doing quite well. But I do

see some

inklings of perhaps issues that may come to the surface with use of prepositions

in sentences not knowing the correct ones to use. Example " The book is in the

table. " There are two little boys in my son's class now that are October and

November, so they have just turned 5, I am the class mom and I see how they

are having a harder time with things that the others aren't, there are also

ones that are now turning 6, and they are way ahead of the rest. So just wait

awhile and if later during the next 6 months you still think he needs to stay

back, do it. It does give you that extra time at home that you can show him all

the things he will face, like just the swings and the monkey bars. That is

what I wish I had more time with! The play-do, scissors, and it seems to do

wonders to show him how to do everything, then he gets it, he can't unless I

show

him and do the movements with his body.Good luck

[Guest guest]

As you know I agree . One thing far too many parents don't

appreciate until hindsight kicks -is that it's not just being ready for

kindergarten...it's being ready for first grade, second grade,

third, and the rest -it's only easy for the first year.

As I have made very clear -Tanner didn't start kindergarten until 6 -

which was 'normal' for all of the children in the town we moved from

in NJ (which is not far from NYC and a blue ribbon school district)

and he was in OT through out kindergarten working on fine motor

skills which he transitioned out of at the end of kindergarten. He

was top in a mainstream kindergarten class in a public school with

pull out ST and OT -and is now mainstreamed in an accelerated

academics private school in 1st receiving straight A's in everything. I

know he would not have been ready for this earlier.

Some here say they are happy they started their apraxic child at

five -most say it was a mistake if they did -and a few like me who

waited to start their child until 6...all happy about it. Starting

younger than 5...for an apraxic child? Why in the world would

anyone want to do that?

Start your child when you believe they have the best chance for

staying in the mainstream throughout school -and without struggles.

(key words " self esteem " )

Here is a good archive on this here

/message/24826 and here

is another to/from Tricia -a mom to talk to about this:

From: " kiddietalk " <kiddietalk@...>

Date: Tue Nov 11, 2003 6:08 pm

Subject: Re: Starting Kindergarten vs. Waiting

Tricia when I wrote about the only two families that started their

child at five instead of six in kindergarten in our old NJ town (us

being one of

them because we didn't know) guess what? Dakota and Molly (the

other five year old in Dakota's grade) were two of the three

children that the

teacher's

suspected ADHD in.

Granted -many others, including MDs, viewed Dakota as having some

type of ADHD

until

we used the right oil therapy with him, but maturity surely had

something to do with it for Dakota and for Molly as well. And...in

Dakota's

case, since his birthday is July 30th -he was not just the youngest

in that he started at five -he is still the youngest even when with

other five year olds.

One of the complaints about Dakota to us? during story time " he will

lay down on the rug instead of sitting up the whole time like the

other children " At five he was over a year younger then the rest!

Dakota did well in school, however I don't like that he had so much

pressure put on him from five years old to behave. He went through

a year of his young life (first grade was the worst)

hearing " Dakota! Sit

up! " " Dakota, pay attention! " " Dakota! " etc. Dakota loved all his

friends and did too well academically to keep him back -but by the

skin of his teeth he was not put on medications for ADHD -and we

took him for

many opinions. Back then

I had many conversations with the other parents too (was a class

mom) -and we

just

couldn't keep Dakota back even though maturity wise it would have

been

best. He had, again, all his friends that were all one year older -

and was a

good student.

I used to be happy that I started Dakota when I did at five and

Tanner at six. But as the years went on, I believe it would have been

best for Dakota to have started at six too. He's still not the most

mature

in his classes even today -and still the youngest -and again doing

too well to

keep back. He's typically a straight A and B student.

Tanner not only had that extra year developmentally to grow so his

motor planning and speech was much improved -that year did make a

difference, but Tanner is also always the well behaved mature child

in the class. He is friends with everyone -including the teacher.

I'm sorry to hear you are going through what you are Tricia. We

can't turn back time and just have to hope that by sharing here it

will keep others from walking into the same mistakes. But as you

found out -people will do what they believe is best at the time.

What's funny about what you wrote is that unlike you we had the

benefit of an older child in the school system. So when the case

manager from the school said to Glenn and me, " We like to start our

kindergarten children at five years old " I actually laughed and

said " Oh please, I live in this town too and started Dakota at five.

He and Molly were the only two five year olds in the entire

kindergarten class because everyone else started even their " normal "

children here in kindergarten at six for academic and athletic

reasons. So

that makes sense to you to take all the special needs kids and start

them at five? I don't think so! " And as I let you know in past

posts -

needless to say Tanner's schooling at the Summit Speech School was

paid for in out of district placement for one more year until six.

Learning from another's examples is the easy way some choose not to

take.

Besides a few may

say " go for it " and give success stories. I may have said awhile

back I was happy I started Dakota at five even though for Tanner

starting at six was better. But if I did, I take it back now that

life gave us more time to see it clearly.

Life teaches the best lessons even though life is typically a hard

teacher. Sometimes however he (life) is the only teacher one

chooses to learn from.

=====

[Guest guest]

My twin girls were eligible for kindegarten when they were 4 years

10 months, but we waited until they were 5 years 10 months to start

kindegarten.

It was a very smart move.

is severely apraxic, and she still has a hard time talking at

7. She is doing okay in first grade (middle of the road) only

has some mild articulation problems, and I'm sure she will test out

as gifted. She is top of her class, and doing above grade level

work in most everything.

I'm glad both were held back. They both needed the extra year for

their speech. needed it for everything. Neither of them were

even interested in reading, writing, etc. 's fine motor

control was not there until a year later. Socially, they were both

extremely shy and clingy.

The only problem we faced with holding them back was was bored

by the end of kindegarten. She started throwing lots of temper

tantrums at home, and she was not happy. I don't know if the temper

tantrums were related to school, but they stopped this summer and

they have not reappeared.

These are some of the things that I think are important about

school.

1) Be able to sit still and work independently (like on an art

project)

2) Be able to listen to a story quietly

3) Be able to follow instructions

4) Be able to hold a pencil and cut with scissors

5) Be interested in learning how to read/write

For kindegarten they don't even have to talk much. At first,

didn't say much more than yes and no (and she probably shook her

head most of the time). She understood everything, so it was okay

that she didn't talk much.

I also wouldn't worry about knowing the abc's or 123's. Some kids

have never been exposed, so the kindegarten teachers have to teach

them from the beginning.

Good luck with your decision.

> Hi, maybe some of you can help me by telling me what

> you done in this situation.

> The school wants to know if I want my son to stay in preschool

another year (which is what they think should be done, or go to

kindergarten.

> is 4.4 years old has verbal apraxia. This is his second

year of preschool. Next year would make 3 years of preschool if he

goes.

> I don't know what to do. On one hand I don't think he is ready

for kindergarten, but on the other I don't think he is really

benefiting from preschool either.

> I think needs more of intensive 1 on 1 learning which of

course the school can't provide. I've noticed in the past that he

sometimes looses what he learns.

> I also think they underestimate .

> I would appreciate everyone telling me what they did if they

were in this situation and why they did it.

> Also if anyone know of any articles ect. That say what a four

year old should be accomplishing that would be helpful.

> Like the school says it's no big deal that he can't dress

himself and don't use silverware. And that the scribbles he makes

are better than some kids in his class.

> But academically he fails all there tests, like abc, bodyparts,

ect. He just gets 0's.

> If I do get little reports they say was unable to do task

ect.

> It's frustrating for me, becos obviously he's not tuned in to

everyday stuff like dressing himself. (which they say is normal, no

need for OT) But then they expect him know abc's.

> However it all really seems hopeless to me anyways, becos like

I said he needs more 1:1 with visual demostrations to learn- In my

opinion. Which they will never provide.

> Is there some program out there that can work with that I

don't know about, or it all on my shoulders to teach him?

> Thanks guys, sorry I'm stressing again.

> Shilo, Mother of CAS, and

Preston 13 months

>

>

[Guest guest]

My 3.5 year old started pre-school this past fall and even though we've

had difficulty getting the school to provide adequate speech services,

the experience has been outstanding for . Once he got over the

newness of it all, he started conversing more at home and at school.

For one thing, it gives him more to talk about and he is excited to have

his own social network. The school itself is language based and the

teacher uses sign in class. He has learned things from his teacher that

he had difficulty picking up from me - probably because I was being too

careful - such as cutting and playing with the computer. He is

currently in public school but we did try Head Start for a few weeks and

it did not go quite as well. It seemed to be more if a playgroup than

school and he did not make any gains - actually backslid on potty

training and speech. Hope this helps!

Best of luck,

Ron

[Guest guest]

and all: I have been SO behind in reading these messages, so

sorry if this is late. I just wanted to say how much I agree with

this topic and yes, hindsight is 20/20. If I knew then what I know

now, I would have held back a year before starting

kindergarten. Yes, was ready for kindergarten. She was even

ready for first grade. But that is when the separation began,

between other kids and (speech delay, auditory processing and

adhd). The speech delay is almost all gone. Adhd and auditory

processing is her main problem now, and we can really see it now.

Although she is in third grade, she is doing mostly 2nd grade work,

although the end of 2nd grade, so she is not that far behind.

I absolutely intend to hold off on kindergarten until he is 6

years old, even though my husband thinks I am over-reacting. We had

's parent teacher conference last week, which went very well.

They had no negative things to say, except that when he is

frustrated, he doesn't use his words. Otherwise, they said his

strong suit is math/numbers....and pays attention very well. When I

asked them about waiting to start kindergarten until is 6

years old, they agreed that most boys - regardless of any diagnosis -

are usually not ready at the age of 5.

Now, my big concern was, what if the school wants to push

into kindergarten at age 5 and we dont want to.......will they let

him stay in pre-school? His teachers said that we would need to

then look into private pre-school. Here is the kicker...are you

ready? They said (and his SLP) that has made so much

improvement that they don't even think he would qualify for the

special ed pre-school !!!

We'll see at that time, but it was sure nice to hear something

positive! I walk into 's and 's conferences with my

kleenex box (not kidding) waiting to hear the latest and greatest.

This time, I didn't need any kleenex and left with a smile!

So , just to recap, I totally agree about starting at age 6!

Either that, or if parents are really dedicated to starting at age 5,

then having them repeat kindergarten is the other option.

Kim

> As you know I agree . One thing far too many parents don't

> appreciate until hindsight kicks -is that it's not just being ready

for

> kindergarten...it's being ready for first grade, second grade,

> third, and the rest -it's only easy for the first year.

>

> As I have made very clear -Tanner didn't start kindergarten until

6 -

> which was 'normal' for all of the children in the town we moved

from

> in NJ (which is not far from NYC and a blue ribbon school district)

> and he was in OT through out kindergarten working on fine motor

> skills which he transitioned out of at the end of kindergarten. He

> was top in a mainstream kindergarten class in a public school with

> pull out ST and OT -and is now mainstreamed in an accelerated

> academics private school in 1st receiving straight A's in

everything. I

> know he would not have been ready for this earlier.

>

> Some here say they are happy they started their apraxic child at

> five -most say it was a mistake if they did -and a few like me who

> waited to start their child until 6...all happy about it. Starting

> younger than 5...for an apraxic child? Why in the world would

> anyone want to do that?

>

> Start your child when you believe they have the best chance for

> staying in the mainstream throughout school -and without struggles.

> (key words " self esteem " )

>

> Here is a good archive on this here

>

/message/24826

and here is another to/from Tricia -a mom to talk to about this:

[Guest guest]

Hi,

We gave my son the extra year this year and I am so glad we did.

If we would have sent him this year, he would have struggled and boy does a

year make a diffeence. We just had his IEP and they are recommending

mainstreaming him with little assistance compared to what he needed last year.

I would

suggest gettign ahold of the kindergarten readiness list for next year and

start looking it over and getting ready for it. It will hlep you know what to

work on and to see if he has mastered the skills needed to be successful in

kindergarten.

Good luck! I know its tough but Follow your gut. Its better to hold back

now than later.

[Guest guest]

Hey I am right there with you my son is 4.8yrs and is in a handicap pre

school class for 21/2hrs a day. Next year he needs to be in the big K.....I

will

have a fight on my hands I work with Joshy everyday and I work on the things I

know they will test him on he is severly apraxic, ( much progress since

proefa) little use of his left arm/hand, only walks in a walker but he knows his

abc's, (all the sound a-z)know his numbers, (counts 1 thru 10) knows

colors,shapes, body parts, great picture id, but he cannot draw a circle

writting is very

tough for him and simple puzzles. I give him every educational

toy,music,video and constant repetition with mommy but I am still very scared

that they

will not let him in...........Of course I will fight hard. Go with your gut

feeling and fight hard!