Guest guest Posted September 8, 2004 Report Share Posted September 8, 2004 Liz If I don't react and she does worse things to get a response, where does it end?? I have 2 grandsons to consider whom she has little ability or desire to care for. She knows they mean a great deal to me. I have always worried that she would use them as leverage to get what she wants from me (which is usually money to keep her latest " man " ). She makes a habit out of supporting every loser she becomes involved with. How do I not respond or how do I respond? I am very confused. Jean Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted September 9, 2004 Report Share Posted September 9, 2004 In a way, yes. Because they crave or have to have the emotional intensity, you can " cause " an outburst by not responding. But moving away is in a way responding. You've got to get strong yourself and learn to respond to situations without getting emotionally involved first. Then, when you respond to a BPD with no emotion, they will try to " up the anti " to get the response out of you. This can be very dangerous as they do not know limits. I believe that is the situation in my case. Liz -- cascorsam@... wrote: I am curious; how does one " push the buttons " of a BPD? It would be a pleasure to turn the tables for once. I often wonder if I moved away and left no forwarding address if she would continue this behavior, because at this point it would seem I am the only one who really cares. And , that has seemed to me to be the only way of turning the tables. But, if you can tell me what works with your mother, I would be most happy to know. My daughter is an adult, so it's not like interacting with a real child. Only her lack of realizing there exist consequences is childlike. For instance, her blowing her last $2000.00 on her new husband and not paying her mortgage because she THOUGHT she would be able to sell a house during the past 2 months and earn a commission, but it didn't happen. So, how do I push her buttons???? Jean Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted September 9, 2004 Report Share Posted September 9, 2004 My mom, does the opposite. She has implied she will take my kids from me if I don't do things her way. I have been really careful to make sure she has no case. And keeping myself seperated from her financially and geographically has really helped. I think it is a BPD thing to use children to manipulate others. Maureen Re: pushing buttons Liz If I don't react and she does worse things to get a response, where does it end?? I have 2 grandsons to consider whom she has little ability or desire to care for. She knows they mean a great deal to me. I have always worried that she would use them as leverage to get what she wants from me (which is usually money to keep her latest " man " ). She makes a habit out of supporting every loser she becomes involved with. How do I not respond or how do I respond? I am very confused. Jean Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted September 9, 2004 Report Share Posted September 9, 2004 I agree. Liz -- " Maureen Sklaroff " wrote: I think it is a BPD thing to use children to manipulate others. Maureen Re: pushing buttons Liz If I don't react and she does worse things to get a response, where does it end?? I have 2 grandsons to consider whom she has little ability or desire to care for. She knows they mean a great deal to me. I have always worried that she would use them as leverage to get what she wants from me (which is usually money to keep her latest " man " ). She makes a habit out of supporting every loser she becomes involved with. How do I not respond or how do I respond? I am very confused. Jean Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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