New to group

[Guest guest]

hi my name is jazzmine and i had WLS by dr fobi on 3-20-00 and have lost

so far 92 lbs. doing good looking great. i weigh now about 154 and my

husband i would like to get started on another baby. i had my surgery 5

months afater my first child. so tell me what to watch out for and if you

guys had it easy or hard with pregnancy after surgery.

cant wwait to hear

jazzmine

[Guest guest]

thnks julie....... hope to do this again soon......... hey what was up

with the delivery? complications?

[Guest guest]

big time!!!

julie

Re: new to group

thnks julie....... hope to do this again soon......... hey what was up

with the delivery? complications?

Children are a reward from the Lord.

Psalm 127:3

[Guest guest]

welcome and good luck.

julie

New to group

Hello all my name is Thereasa I had WLS 1/98 weight of 287lbs 5'8 "

and now weigh 197lbs have stayed this weight for over 18 months. I

drink with my meals and believe that is why I haven't lost more. I

get very unconfortable if I do not drink with my meals. I am so happy

with how much I have lost I don't really worry about losing more. I

am getting my IUD out on Feb 12,2001 and hope to be pregnate by June

2001. I love this site and hope to use it for support during the next

few years. If you have any advice for me please e-mail me at

Tharms6089@... or reply at this site.

Thank you

Thereasa

Children are a reward from the Lord.

Psalm 127:3

[Guest guest]

It wasn't until we found a therapist who was familiar

with BPD that things started to change for my

daughter. She is 17 now but start therapy when she

was 7 or 8. We saw no changes in her until this new

therapist. In fact things seemed to be getting worse

every day. I was afraid my daughter would kill

herself or damage herself with all the self-mutilation

to the point of death. I was afraid to look into her

room every morning for fear that I might find her

dead. Things are better now that we all know what she

has and what we can all do to help her. She still has

her bad days but they aren't nearly as bad as when she

was undiagnosed.

Hang in there. Keep searching for help. Don't give

up on her or yourself. keep us posted.

Peace and Love,

phine

--- StregaKat@... wrote:

> Hi Everyone,

> My 15 yr. old daughter is BPD,ADHD. She also

> self-injures. She has

> been hospitalized twice in the past year and has

> been in weekly

> therapy also. She`s on Concerta(adhd), Effexor, and

> Neurontin. I`ve

> been reading about Dialectical Behavioral Therapy

> for Borderlines.

> Has anyone had or no of someone with personal

> experience with this

> type of therapy? There is a doctor in my area that

> uses this. Quite

> frankly, after a year in therapy, we`re not seeing

> much. I realize it

> won`t be a quick thing but I don`t feel her current

> therapist has

> much experience with borderlines.Any suggestions

> would be helpful and

> greatly apprieciated.

>

> StregaKat

>

>

__________________________________________________

[Guest guest]

Hi StregaKat,

I just started working with people with BPD at my job. We have a new BPD

group starting that uses DBT (Dialectical Behavioral Therapy) and I

co-facilitate the group (I am a Clinical Social Worker). I have read most of

the literature on the therapy and it seems to be very effective and is the

therapy of choice for many clinicians. Since our group is just starting I can't

tell you about any success stories but I can tell you that I feel confident that

the treatment will help some of the members of the group. Hang in there, I

know this is hard for you. Have faith and keep trying to find the right

therapist for you and your daughter.

Best wishes, Joyce

---- Original Message -----

From: StregaKat@...

To: WTOParentsOfBPs

Sent: Saturday, November 17, 2001 8:05 AM

Subject: New to Group

Hi Everyone,

My 15 yr. old daughter is BPD,ADHD. She also self-injures. She has

been hospitalized twice in the past year and has been in weekly

therapy also. She`s on Concerta(adhd), Effexor, and Neurontin. I`ve

been reading about Dialectical Behavioral Therapy for Borderlines.

Has anyone had or no of someone with personal experience with this

type of therapy? There is a doctor in my area that uses this. Quite

frankly, after a year in therapy, we`re not seeing much. I realize it

won`t be a quick thing but I don`t feel her current therapist has

much experience with borderlines.Any suggestions would be helpful and

greatly apprieciated.

StregaKat

[Guest guest]

Hi Joyce,

Thank you for the encouraging words.Tomorrow I`m going to call

and set up an appointment for my daughter. Hopefully, this type of

therapy will work out for her (and us!).

Blessings,

StregaKat

>

>Reply-To: WTOParentsOfBPs

>To: <WTOParentsOfBPs >

>Subject: Re: New to Group

>Date: Sat, 17 Nov 2001 22:25:25 -0500

>

>Hi StregaKat,

> I just started working with people with BPD at my job. We have a new

>BPD group starting that uses DBT (Dialectical Behavioral Therapy) and I

>co-facilitate the group (I am a Clinical Social Worker). I have read most

>of the literature on the therapy and it seems to be very effective and is

>the therapy of choice for many clinicians. Since our group is just

>starting I can't tell you about any success stories but I can tell you that

>I feel confident that the treatment will help some of the members of the

>group. Hang in there, I know this is hard for you. Have faith and keep

>trying to find the right therapist for you and your daughter.

> Best wishes, Joyce

>

>---- Original Message -----

> From: StregaKat@...

> To: WTOParentsOfBPs

> Sent: Saturday, November 17, 2001 8:05 AM

> Subject: New to Group

>

>

> Hi Everyone,

> My 15 yr. old daughter is BPD,ADHD. She also self-injures. She has

> been hospitalized twice in the past year and has been in weekly

> therapy also. She`s on Concerta(adhd), Effexor, and Neurontin. I`ve

> been reading about Dialectical Behavioral Therapy for Borderlines.

> Has anyone had or no of someone with personal experience with this

> type of therapy? There is a doctor in my area that uses this. Quite

> frankly, after a year in therapy, we`re not seeing much. I realize it

> won`t be a quick thing but I don`t feel her current therapist has

> much experience with borderlines.Any suggestions would be helpful and

> greatly apprieciated.

>

> StregaKat

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

Hi phine,

Thanks for the advise. The whole issue of mental health is very

frustrating to me. It`s as though there must a tragedy before you

can get a whole lot of help.And the fact that the insurance companies

seem to be running the show, is infuriating. I hope we`re on the right

track with this new therapist that I`ll be contacting tomorrow. Thank you

for your support, I`m going to need it!!

Brightest

Blessings,

StregaKat

>

>Reply-To: WTOParentsOfBPs

>To: WTOParentsOfBPs

>Subject: Re: New to Group

>Date: Sat, 17 Nov 2001 09:56:32 -0800 (PST)

>

>It wasn't until we found a therapist who was familiar

>with BPD that things started to change for my

>daughter. She is 17 now but start therapy when she

>was 7 or 8. We saw no changes in her until this new

>therapist. In fact things seemed to be getting worse

>every day. I was afraid my daughter would kill

>herself or damage herself with all the self-mutilation

>to the point of death. I was afraid to look into her

>room every morning for fear that I might find her

>dead. Things are better now that we all know what she

>has and what we can all do to help her. She still has

>her bad days but they aren't nearly as bad as when she

>was undiagnosed.

>

>Hang in there. Keep searching for help. Don't give

>up on her or yourself. keep us posted.

>

>Peace and Love,

>phine

>

>

>--- StregaKat@... wrote:

> > Hi Everyone,

> > My 15 yr. old daughter is BPD,ADHD. She also

> > self-injures. She has

> > been hospitalized twice in the past year and has

> > been in weekly

> > therapy also. She`s on Concerta(adhd), Effexor, and

> > Neurontin. I`ve

> > been reading about Dialectical Behavioral Therapy

> > for Borderlines.

> > Has anyone had or no of someone with personal

> > experience with this

> > type of therapy? There is a doctor in my area that

> > uses this. Quite

> > frankly, after a year in therapy, we`re not seeing

> > much. I realize it

> > won`t be a quick thing but I don`t feel her current

> > therapist has

> > much experience with borderlines.Any suggestions

> > would be helpful and

> > greatly apprieciated.

> >

> > StregaKat

> >

> >

>

>

>__________________________________________________

>

[Guest guest]

Hey all,

I've just been with this group for a week or so. But it seems very

depressing. Are there any success stories out there?

Maybe there aren't any success stories on this list

because...well...we're ON this list? As in, we're dealing with the

problem still????

But does any one know if there is such a thing as " getting stronger " (I

don't dare say " recovery " at this point--)

My 8 yo son has had 9 hospitalizations this year, and I'm really really

hoping that it gets better. If it doesn't, maybe I should just forgo

therapy and get him committed?????

Liz

[Guest guest]

Dear Liz,

Hello! I just read your post from Sun, my heart

goes out to you - I know from experience the place you

are in - it's sounds similar to the place I was with

my dau. when I agreed to let her go live with her Dad

despite all my misgivings. That didn't turn out too

well, though it did give our family here (esp. my

boys) some time to " recover " from all that we'd been

through with her. I got so I hated the phone ringing

-wondering if it would be more bad news about her - or

just her calling to try and " triangulate " us some more

(something she excels at). You can imagine how that

goes when dealing with ex-spouses - sometimes we do

better at dealing with each other in regards to her

than others. I don't have all the answers, but do

know that I will be praying for you for strength to do

whatever you decide is best for your son and the rest

of your family. Have you read " Hope for Parents:

Helping Your Borderline Son or Daughter Without

Sacificing Your Family or Yourself " ? It was really

helpful to me - it helped alot in releasing me from

the guilt I felt wondering what in the world I had

done that could have done differently.

I do have a small success story for the day - I

am learing to rejoice in the small victories and to

let go of the set backs more quickly. My BP dau.

called me today - we were able to talk for almost an

hour. She cut me off with a hurtful letter several

months ago - I have respected her boundary and not

attempted any contact since that time. She called

today - no apology for the letter - just " Hi! It's

me... " and on like nothing had

ever happened. Typical BP behavior - but, it was

wonderful to hear her voice. She's back in therapy -

another good thing. I had been hoping and praying she

would call (tomorrow's my b'day).

Hang in there, I'm sorry things are so difficult

for you right now. I truly believe prayer can change

things - esp. us and our ability to deal with the

negative effects of living in a fallen world. Love

and prayers, Beth

__________________________________________________

[Guest guest]

Hi,

My name is and I'm new to the group. I have two daughters and

the older one, who is 19, was diagnosed with BPD last summer along

with bipolar disorder. I feel of the two diagnoses, the BPD has been

the most sigificant and has affected our whole family, including her

younger sister who put up with so much, including being terrorized

and threatened, as well as listening to her sister's inappropriate

stories of using drugs and having sex, etc. She finally moved out in

December, which has helped, but we continue to struggle with it.

It's so good to find a place to talk with others who are going

through this. Those outside of the family have no idea of how she

can be, and friends of hers and others see her as being so " polite

and sweet " but it doesn't take long as they get to know her better,

for them to see the other side. She stayed with a good friend of

mine about a year ago, as she could no longer live with her best

friend of the time because she described her best friend's mother

as " psychotic and evil. " Unfortunately I agreed to her staying with

my friend and her daughter, both of whom I have known for 15 years.

In the beginning the daughter thought my daughter was so sweet but

within a couple of months my daughter slept with the other girl's

boyfriend and then called the girl " psychotic " along with my friend,

though I know that these people are far from being psychotic. She

has sabatoged my friendship and I wish I had never agreed to her

staying there.

Well, I'm at work and have a family to meet with. I do look forward

to talking with others who are going through the same thing.

Thanks,

[Guest guest]

> Hi,

>

> My name is and I'm new to the group. I have two daughters

and

> the older one, who is 19, was diagnosed with BPD last summer along

> with bipolar disorder.

Hi . I have a 19 yo daughter who's dx was always (since about

age 12) bi-polar. Only recently have the clinicians begun to discuss

a possibility of BPD. I firmly believe the dx is BPD and possibly bi-

polar also.

I feel of the two diagnoses, the BPD has been

> the most sigificant and has affected our whole family, including

her

> younger sister who put up with so much, including being terrorized

> and threatened, as well as listening to her sister's inappropriate

> stories of using drugs and having sex, etc.

Yes, I agree with the above. The BPD so permeates every aspect of a

family dynamic. My daughter too has terrorized her two younger

sisters, numerous times. She too has been very inappropriate at

times - particular in her vivid descriptions of lesbian sex to her

then 5 year old sister (found out after the fact by me).

She finally moved out in

> December, which has helped, but we continue to struggle with it.

Where is she living? My 19 yo daughter lives in a group home

setting. But, she has been in numerous group homes since she was

required to leave our home (non-compliance, etc.). She also had a

small stint of life in the streets - sleeping in a parking lot of a

local mission.

> It's so good to find a place to talk with others who are going

> through this.

Yes, you will find lots of similarities here and lots of support. It

is good to have this place. I know prior to my finding some online

support I was so frustrated thinking I must be the only person on the

face of the planet that can't put my finger on precisely what's

wrong - can't put my finger on precisely how to fix it - can't put my

finger on what in the world to do here - to keep from loosing my

mind. It's wonderful to see that there are others who've been there,

done that and sometimes some real solutions to real problems.

Those outside of the family have no idea of how she

> can be, and friends of hers and others see her as being so " polite

> and sweet " but it doesn't take long as they get to know her better,

> for them to see the other side.

That can be very frustrating, particularly if you're being judged by

others, that maybe the problem is just all yours.

She stayed with a good friend of

> mine about a year ago, as she could no longer live with her best

> friend of the time because she described her best friend's mother

> as " psychotic and evil. " Unfortunately I agreed to her staying

with

> my friend and her daughter, both of whom I have known for 15

years.

> In the beginning the daughter thought my daughter was so sweet but

> within a couple of months my daughter slept with the other girl's

> boyfriend and then called the girl " psychotic " along with my

friend,

> though I know that these people are far from being psychotic. She

> has sabatoged my friendship and I wish I had never agreed to her

> staying there.

Yes, they do have the ability (or so it seems) at times to sabotage

the best of efforts and intentions. My daughter stayed w/my mom for

a time. There, she accused my mom's husband of inappropriate

touching. I was sorry too that I ever had her live there. I don't

believe for a minute he would do that and in the interest of trying

to show her that I did believe her - I offered to proceed w/criminal

charges and she of course wouldn't go along w/that. Caused a deep

family problem for a while.

Vent away . You'll feel better and read some of the posts that

you can get to on occasion. You won't feel so alone.

Debbie S