7 Secrets and Steps

[Guest guest]

Which came first? THe secrets or the steps [or was it the stages]???

I know the list showed a lot on interest in the 7 Secrets and I have now found

the 7 Steps.

I decided to post this as it may help someone.

Barbra

seven steps to success

the eating guidelines

by geneen roth

THE EATING GUIDELINES ARE THE CORE OF THE BREAKING FREE® PROGRAM.

They are as follows:

1. Eat when you are hungry.

2. Eat sitting down in a calm environment. This does not include the car.

3. Eat without distractions. Distractions include radio, television, newspapers,

books, intense or anxiety-producing conversations, and music.

4. Eat only what you want.

5. Eat until you are satisfied.

6. Eat (with the intention of being) in full view of others.

7. Eat with enjoyment, pleasure, and gusto.

stage one:

Acknowledging that there is a problem, that the problem is more complex than

simply being overweight, and that dieting does not, and will never, resolve it.

stage two:

Beginning/rebelling against the years of deprivation.

Physical Aspects:

a.. Eating mainly (what were previously) " forbidden " foods; eating all the

time -- not just when hungry and until satisfied.

b.. Learning what hunger, satisfaction, and fullness feel like.

c.. Learning what makes eating pleasurable (i.e., sitting, not reading or

watching TV, eating slowly, etc.)

d.. Possibly gaining weight.

Emotional Aspects:

a.. Relief and exhilaration at not dieting.

b.. Panic and fear that this stage will go on forever, and that because this

looks like a binge, breaking free is no different from bingeing.

c.. Sometimes there will be a feeling of hopelessness, a feeling that there is

no end to compulsive eating.

Tips:

a.. Don't panic at the weight gain. It is a typical, natural reaction to years

of deprivation. You will not gain a hundred pounds.

b.. Throw away your scales, or paste your ideal weight on them.

c.. Try to distinguish between foods you think you want (because you weren't

allowed to have them) and foods you really do want in the present moment.

This stage will end. Do not go on another diet because you are afraid this stage

will never end.

stage three:

" The middle " nitty-gritty: Learning to trust and befriend yourself.

Physical Aspects:

a.. Eating without guilt.

b.. No more bingeing.

c.. Weight stabilizes.

d.. Distinguishing foods you really like/want from those that were previously

forbidden (they were hummers/beckoners).

e.. Ability to eat only a bite or two of chocolate.

f.. Foods other than sweets begin to taste good -- you learn what nourishes

you.

g.. You begin to have faith in body-wisdom as you see that you can eat what

you want and not gain weight.

h.. You eat when you are hungry although, often, don't stop at just enough.

Emotional Aspects:

a.. The mind still wants more food than the body, which is a little difficult

to accept.

b.. A lot of joy in realizing that after all these years, your body can still

get hungry.

c.. A sense of power develops as you see that you can control food -- it no

longer controls you.

This is the hard-work stage: You can stop eating when you're not hungry, and the

emotions that drove you to eat in the first place surface. If you are willing to

work with yourself, you develop ways of dealing with your feelings other than

using food:

a.. Keeping a journal.

b.. Being in therapy.

c.. Talking with friends about your feelings.

d.. Expressing your feelings as they arise.

You learn that food isn't all that's good or pleasurable about life. You learn

many other ways of nourishing yourself:

a.. Taking walks, baths, naps.

b.. Reading.

c.. Going to movies.

d.. Getting massaged.

e.. Doing something you've always wanted to do.

f.. Writing.

g.. Dancing.

You begin to value things about yourself other than your body -- and begin to

realize that other people value you as well.

Your values about living change as you see that you can feel happy and satisfied

without being thin; your inner life becomes important.

Tips:

a.. Weight loss might occur, but it is not the predominant characteristic of

this stage.

b.. What is predominant is the shift you make from viewing yourself as an

out-of-control human being to one who can make choices that will nourish

yourself.

This stage is the most difficult one because of all the feelings that arise, and

it takes " an ocean of patience " and renewed commitment to the Breaking Free

process. Remember that this is a stage, and it will end.

The fear that often occurs in this stage is that if you deal with your

compulsive eating and lose weight, you will no longer have an excuse (i.e., your

fat) on which to blame all your " failures " -- and that's true! But on the other

hand, you'll have more available energy. You'll feel better about yourself, and

you won't need an excuse.

stage four:

The joys of breaking free.

Physical Aspects:

a.. Weight loss occurs -- slowly!

b.. You eat what you want, stop when you're satisfied.

c.. What you want has drastically changed from Stage II. What you want now are

usually nourishing foods with occasional or small bites of sweets instead of

large amounts of sweets and occasional scrambled eggs.

d.. You enjoy your body. You accept your body, even though it is not perfect.

e.. Food becomes delightful, rather than a source of pain.

f.. When you're not hungry, you don't think about eating.

g.. You can go anywhere, have any kind of food in front of you, without going

on a binge/eating compulsively.

Emotional Aspects:

a.. You ask for what you want as well as eat what you want.

b.. You feel better about yourself than you ever imagined you could feel. You

are self-confident, self-trusting.

c.. This confidence and trust extend into many other areas of your life ñ your

work, your relationship.

d.. Since your life is no longer revolving around food, you have more energy

with which to live.

e.. You have many more skills with which to deal with problems.

Tips:

a.. Sometimes you, like anyone else, will overeat. But now you will not take

it as a sign that you are a failure.

b.. Your weight will fluctuate by five to eight pounds from season to season.

Sometimes you will want to eat more than you do at other times. That's okay --

sometimes your body needs more food.