Guest guest Posted June 28, 2004 Report Share Posted June 28, 2004 Ann, I have not tried Al-Anon regarding my daughter. I did go a few times regarding an ex-husband. I did not enjoy them then, but only went a couple of times. I have been thinking about it lately because of both my husband and my daughter. My husband usually just drinks on the weekend, but when someone comes over or if we go out, he gets totally soused and hateful. Luckily, we have money troubles and cannot afford to go out or to buy him much beer lately. The point is, it is still a problem just knowing he would drink like that if he could. I think he would be mad if I went to an Al-Anon meeting and I would feel sneaky if I lied to him. I guess I could tell him I am going to help me deal with my daughter's problem. There is a meeting in her town tonight. We do not have them in our little town. I may do that. Thank you for the concern and the tip. Janna __________________________________________________ Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted June 28, 2004 Report Share Posted June 28, 2004 Janna: If you can't find a way to get to a meeting, there is an on-line al-anon meeting at: http://www.stepchat.com You go in under a screen name . . and it runs like a regular al-anon meeting. They also have open chat. I like to get on there several nights per week, just to keep the al-anon principles fresh in my mind. It helps a lot. Would your husband go w/ you to al-anon if he's going because of your daughter? Sometimes problem drinkers go to al-anon a few months and realize that they also need to be in AA! I've heard of this a lot . . . it's worth a try!!! Janna Nale wrote: Ann, I have not tried Al-Anon regarding my daughter. I did go a few times regarding an ex-husband. I did not enjoy them then, but only went a couple of times. I have been thinking about it lately because of both my husband and my daughter. My husband usually just drinks on the weekend, but when someone comes over or if we go out, he gets totally soused and hateful. Luckily, we have money troubles and cannot afford to go out or to buy him much beer lately. The point is, it is still a problem just knowing he would drink like that if he could. I think he would be mad if I went to an Al-Anon meeting and I would feel sneaky if I lied to him. I guess I could tell him I am going to help me deal with my daughter's problem. There is a meeting in her town tonight. We do not have them in our little town. I may do that. Thank you for the concern and the tip. Janna __________________________________________________ Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted June 28, 2004 Report Share Posted June 28, 2004 Janna - Al Anon saved my life. It takes a while to get used to the Al Anon philosophy which basically states that we must take care of ourselves as we are the only ones we can change. The three C's - you didn't Cause the problem, you can't Control it and you can't Cure it. The first time I went, I thought I would receive help in how to " fix " both my exhusband and my child. Not so! The only person I could " fix " was myself - how revolutionary! No one there will tell you what to do but by talking and listening to the experience of others you will gain much serenity and resolve. And always you are urged to " take what you like and leave the rest. " It's truly empowering. I know how you feel about your husband being angry if he found out you went. That's how they try to maintain control of the status quo. I finally went and let the chips fall where they might. I wish you much success. Marsha ann kuehnel wrote: > Janna: If you can't find a way to get to a meeting, there is an > on-line al-anon meeting at: > > http://www.stepchat.com > > You go in under a screen name . . and it runs like a regular al-anon > meeting. They also have open chat. I like to get on there several > nights per week, just to keep the al-anon principles fresh in my > mind. It helps a lot. > > Would your husband go w/ you to al-anon if he's going because of your > daughter? Sometimes problem drinkers go to al-anon a few months and > realize that they also need to be in AA! I've heard of this a lot . . > . it's worth a try!!! > > Janna Nale wrote: > Ann, I have not tried Al-Anon regarding my daughter. I did go a few > times regarding an ex-husband. I did not enjoy them then, but only > went a couple of times. I have been thinking about it lately because > of both my husband and my daughter. My husband usually just drinks on > the weekend, but when someone comes over or if we go out, he gets > totally soused and hateful. Luckily, we have money troubles and > cannot afford to go out or to buy him much beer lately. The point is, > it is still a problem just knowing he would drink like that if he > could. I think he would be mad if I went to an Al-Anon meeting and I > would feel sneaky if I lied to him. I guess I could tell him I am > going to help me deal with my daughter's problem. There is a meeting > in her town tonight. We do not have them in our little town. I may > do that. Thank you for the concern and the tip. Janna > > __________________________________________________ > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted June 28, 2004 Report Share Posted June 28, 2004 I'm glad Marsh mentioned the 3 C's. Also, the 4 G's are worth mentioning: Get out of her way. Get off of her back. Give her to God. Get on with your life. I have 4 G's as my " saying " on the front of my cell phone to give me a reminder every time I look at it. I can't live and breathe my daughter's recovery for her; she has to want to help herself. The only person I can control is myself. Al-anon is great! Marsha Tejeda wrote: Janna - Al Anon saved my life. It takes a while to get used to the Al Anon philosophy which basically states that we must take care of ourselves as we are the only ones we can change. The three C's - you didn't Cause the problem, you can't Control it and you can't Cure it. The first time I went, I thought I would receive help in how to " fix " both my exhusband and my child. Not so! The only person I could " fix " was myself - how revolutionary! No one there will tell you what to do but by talking and listening to the experience of others you will gain much serenity and resolve. And always you are urged to " take what you like and leave the rest. " It's truly empowering. I know how you feel about your husband being angry if he found out you went. That's how they try to maintain control of the status quo. I finally went and let the chips fall where they might. I wish you much success. Marsha ann kuehnel wrote: > Janna: If you can't find a way to get to a meeting, there is an > on-line al-anon meeting at: > > http://www.stepchat.com > > You go in under a screen name . . and it runs like a regular al-anon > meeting. They also have open chat. I like to get on there several > nights per week, just to keep the al-anon principles fresh in my > mind. It helps a lot. > > Would your husband go w/ you to al-anon if he's going because of your > daughter? Sometimes problem drinkers go to al-anon a few months and > realize that they also need to be in AA! I've heard of this a lot . . > . it's worth a try!!! > > Janna Nale wrote: > Ann, I have not tried Al-Anon regarding my daughter. I did go a few > times regarding an ex-husband. I did not enjoy them then, but only > went a couple of times. I have been thinking about it lately because > of both my husband and my daughter. My husband usually just drinks on > the weekend, but when someone comes over or if we go out, he gets > totally soused and hateful. Luckily, we have money troubles and > cannot afford to go out or to buy him much beer lately. The point is, > it is still a problem just knowing he would drink like that if he > could. I think he would be mad if I went to an Al-Anon meeting and I > would feel sneaky if I lied to him. I guess I could tell him I am > going to help me deal with my daughter's problem. There is a meeting > in her town tonight. We do not have them in our little town. I may > do that. Thank you for the concern and the tip. Janna > > __________________________________________________ > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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