Several Responses

[Guest guest]

I'm combining several responses in one post ---

Edith - Preschool & BPD? Interesting idea. My dBPD son not only didn't go to

preschool, he didn't go to school. I taught my children at home. Naturally

that leads to me being told that is the " reason " for his mental disorder.

Never mind the fact that my other two children are fine. Maybe it was the

sign we had in our house that said " Why be normal? " Maybe my son took it way

too seriously. : )

My question has often been the relationship to ADD/ADHD and BPD. My son was

diagnosed with ADD, although he was an antsy kid. Not enough that it was a

problem. I read often of BPDs being diagnosed ADD/ADHD. Have any studies

been done on this?

Amy asked: I was wondering how everyone here gets better at being strong and

setting limits, especially if they ar alone and it doesn't come easy.

I will admit that it became easier for me when our son moved to another

town. When he's not in my face, it's easier to set the limits and say no

when it's necessary. Our NAMI support group has been wonderful as well.

There are other parents who keep me in line, so to speak. They aren't afraid

to tell me when I'm stepping over my own boundary. No one can do this alone.

said: I look at the friends who children have graduated high school,

got a drivers license, had normal dates, got married, had children, went to

college, in there. What it was suppose to be. This is a very heartbreaking

disease. You can divorce a spouse or girlfriend or boyfriend but, what do

you do with your children an only child at that.

wrote: I also never pictured that this would be my life and am also

sad that my son may not have a " normal " life

and

" hazelhead321 " wrote: I feel like I will never have a normal relationship

with my daughter and it hurts.

I've learned two things this past year: 1) with a BP child, it's a new kind

of normal. 2) we need to grieve what never will be. As one person put it, we

need to grieve the future. In that, I mean go through all the steps of

grieving. It is particularly hard to get through the steps because our loved

one is still here. There are also those days that seem like it's going to be

better -- only to have it change within minutes.

A mom in our support group has a 30-something daughter who is schizophrenic,

homeless on the streets somewhere. She said one time that she wonders every

time the phone rings if it is the call that will tell her that her daughter

is dead. She added that maybe that finally bring relief to her daughter. I'm

not there yet

K.

P.S. I know this is mentioned often --- when you respond, can you please,

please, please delete the previous message(s). I take the digest and often

print them to read later. I end up with pages of the repeated messages. It

sure would help save a tree or two. : )