One Year Ago Today...

[Guest guest]

One year ago today, I purchased Tribole and Resch's book Intuitive

Eating. I found a reference for the book online, randomly, when I

was helping a friend search for some information about ways to

listen to your body more. I don't even remember what exactly

attracted me to the book, I think maybe it was reading the 10

principles online.

I was most intrigued by the concept of being an " unaffected " eater.

That I could have a balanced relationship with food by following my

inner hunger cues instead following the conflicting messages of so

many external influences. That I could tap into, develop, and rely

on an internal sense to guide me about when, what, and how much to

eat. This idea and the process of intuitive eating seemed radical,

scary, and exciting to me... to be directed from the inside out and

to truly learn to trust my body's guidance in the one area that I

had struggled most of my life.

I had done enough self-reflection to know that I had used food to

cope with extreme emotions since I was four years old. I was well

read and versed in calories, the food groups, fat grams, protein,

and carbs. I'd done a variety of diets and exercise programs. I knew

that if I kept certain foods in my refridgerator and cabinets that I

would eat them until they were gone and didn't understand why I felt

compelled to do that...so I typically didn't buy certain foods. I

had a vague relationship with my hunger and fullness signals, I knew

when I was starving and I knew that when my stomach felt like a

ballon that I was full. Mostly, I ate on external cues: breakfast,

lunch, dinner, and " snacks " in between. It wasn't until after I

started IE and tracked my hunger cues, that I learned how much I

actually used food...when I was bored, anxious, zoned out, triggered

to eat by a fast food commercial, tired, dehydrated...eating was my

body's default " go-to " method to change how I was feeling inside or

to get a sense of pleasure. Using food is also an issue that comes

up regularly in the evenings.

My own self-reflecton and additional insight gained from the book

helped me understand Latoya on a more deeper level. And, I knew that

insight and knowledge about what was going on with me was not enough

to transform and heal my relationship with food, eating, and my

body. I started the process of making peace with food as the book

suggested. I only bought food that I liked and loved including

chips, ice cream, cashews, jello chocolate pudding cups that I ate

compulsively at times. I learned about, experienced, and tracked my

hunger signals, I started a daily movement practice to " feel the

difference " , I learned, created, and made a list of all the things I

could do instead of using food to cope with uncomfortable internal

body states. I've worked consciously to help develop my intuitive

eater and to develop the ability to deal with myself more skillfully

and creatively without having to resort to automatically using food.

" New Habits, Old Tricks "

It's been an amazing, healing, and transformative year one with IE.

I spent the first 30 years of my life being dominantly directed by

external cues and dictates on when, how much, what to eat, and how I

should look. Now, I experience the unaffected eating regularly.

Lately, I've been processing the whole idea of " falling off the

wagon, " which I've been hearing alot of people say around dieting,

eating, and exercise. I realized that I don't even like the visual

or the implications of that saying. When you get on a wagon in the

first place, if you don't fall off...eventually you need to get off

to at least stretch/move your butt. Since the holidays and the

start of the colder winter season, I've been using food more and

moving less. I much prefer to think of this tension as me reverting

back to " old tricks. " 30 years of conditioning is powerful, so it's

quite possible that I'll revert back to my old tricks of using food

more and moving less when I stressed. I'm very good at using food

and sitting on my butt...I've probably achieved expert status in

this area. :)Though, I can observe myself and continute to practice

my new intuitive habits and work to achieve expert status in other

areas as well.

Thank you all so much for the support and inspiration you have

provided to me through this first year of my IE journey. I am

constantly moved, impressed, and tickled by the strength,

commitment, effort, and humor, among many other great qualities,

demonstrated by the group of women and men involved in this group.

Here's to another phenomenal year...

Latoya