Guest guest Posted August 30, 2004 Report Share Posted August 30, 2004 I am terribly sorry for your plight. I am making a promise to myself that by the time my daughter (now 31) is 45 I will not continue playing this game with her. I'll bet had you known there was a name for her behavior you would have probably taken a stand with her sooner. It really is a God send knowing that there are all these other parents out there dealing with the same sorts of behavior from their adult children. What was your daughter like when she was younger? Was her behavior as severe as many of the rest of us? It doesn't sound like she really did anything to try to ruin her life as my daughter and so many others seem to do. Has her bad behavior been as progressive thing or has it been pretty much the same throughout the years? Jean Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted August 31, 2004 Report Share Posted August 31, 2004 I am most respectfully asking why you are going to wait until she is 45 to quit playing this game with her? If she is 31, then that is 14 more years. My beautiful daughter is going to turn eighteen soon and I hope I am learning everyday to play the game less and less so she can be more accountable and responsible for her behaviors everyday. I am learning how to not engage in her manipulations in great part from reading on this and the WTO board. I want to thank everyone for sharing, it helps so much and it does empower us with more knowledge. Sharon Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted September 1, 2004 Report Share Posted September 1, 2004 I found that once I set my boundaries with my Bi-Polar/Borderline 35 yr old - she has finally worked out that she must take responsibility for herself - and seems to be doing alot better. It may not be a 'game' but perhaps we we call them 'survival tactics' There seems to be a childlike approach to life - and the child must be reminded that there are some things that go too far for their own good. If we keep 'fixing' it - they will never get the idea that they can do it themselves by be responsible for their actions. Perhaps some are worse than others in order for this to work - but it is working for us. Medication for one thing, is being taken on a regular basis now that she knows that life gets very difficult if it isnt taken. We are also putting in place the 'reward' system if we are treated with respect. She is visiting us for the first time in six years - we will see how it goes, and not expecting it to be perfect but we are very excited about it. We are aware that the whole thing could backfire and we will pay a huge price - but as with every parent we cant give up. Love to all Kate Re: Our BPD daughter > > Sharon > I have to strongly disagree that we as loved ones are NOT PLAYING a GAME as you put it. This is a serious illness that they have and we try to support them by setting boundaries. I don't consider that game playing. Maybe you didn't mean it as it came across. I also disagree that they are purposely manipulating. From all the materials I have read, others feel that way too. They (the bpd) have serious mental issues. They cannot be happy people with their life in chaos. As one parent on this site stated " even tho the attention they get is from causing drama, at least they are getting attention " . > Something in their psyche is lacking. At when the magic key is found, we along with the BPD will be happy > sarringrn@... wrote: > I am most respectfully asking why you are going to wait until she is 45 to > quit playing this game with her? If she is 31, then that is 14 more years. > My beautiful daughter is going to turn eighteen soon and I hope I am > learning everyday to play the game less and less so she can be more accountable and > responsible for her behaviors everyday. I am learning how to not engage in > her manipulations in great part from reading on this and the WTO board. I > want to thank everyone for sharing, it helps so much and it does empower us with > more knowledge. Sharon > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted September 1, 2004 Report Share Posted September 1, 2004 Have to agree with Sharon on this one. My daughter ABSOLUTELY knows what she is doing. Debbie Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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