Guest guest Posted July 25, 2004 Report Share Posted July 25, 2004 Tanith - I would be interested to know how we can apply this method to our loved ones with BPD please.Or if someone else knows I would be very interested. tanith ~ wrote: > A movie with Redford. Well, the movie was (based on a book called _The Man Who Listens to Horses_) about how the Horse Whisperer (Redford character) was able to calm and retrain a horse damaged in an accident. It was the opposite of " breaking " a horse. > > Monty is the real " Horse Whisperer. " He has his own web site (www.montyroberts.com), so you can see what he's really about. > > Meredith > > Re: horse whisperer? > > What is the " Horse Whisperer " ? > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted July 26, 2004 Report Share Posted July 26, 2004 I, too, would like to know how to apply the " Horse Whispering " to our children? Jean Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted July 26, 2004 Report Share Posted July 26, 2004 Hi Liz Thank you very much for your interesting reply. I have read The Horse Whisperer (years ago) and saw the movie but have had a memory loss on what it was about - except that Redford seemed to talk to the horses and guided them gently. Cant remember the theory at all, but will try to find the time to re-read the book and go from there. My darling daughter is now 36 and maybe I have found out about the disorder too late. I know I was an exausted mother - trying to please her - reassure her - attend to her need to be the centre of attention - but didnt know about MD's at all. Probably too caught up in my own dilemmas at the time. Kind regards Kate liz wrote: > Kate, > > I'm the one who brought it up. Maybe someone else has applied it as well. But in any event, I did--and with success. > > Rather than going through the whole idea of whispering to horses here, and maybe getting some of it wrong, I'd think you should go to the website and get it from the horse's mouth (lol). Once you've read that, and the book that was written about Monte , maybe you'll see. > > In any event, what the main point is is something that I see also being applied in DBT. it is the " indiret " way of challenging the person's will to comply with an outside authority. PD's have a problem with this. My son, starting around age 6, started saying that I was making him into my " slave " just because I " told him " to wash his hands or some such request. He said I was " ordering " " commanding " etc. of him, and therefore that he was becoming a slave. It was an obvious misunderstanding of the benevelent meaning I had in my request that he " obey " my decisions. This developed with him into full fledged rebellion against an outside authority. PD's have a problem with external authority. It's " my way or the highway " so often with them. I found that the horsewhispering got into his mind in a way that was non-threatening for him, enabling him to willingly " obey " --and not just " obey " , but also be willing to search out the other person's desire or will and " go along " , as in when there was > a simple disagreement of whether to go to McD's or B'King. being non-confrontational and yet asserting that he, as a little tyke, wasn't going to dictate the situation, was necessary for him to work with. > > Also in the DBT, I see the same sort of philosophy being applied. I'm not an expert on DBT, but I read a bunch of the Linehan stuff and was incorporating some of the exercises with kiddo. A lot of it is the slow, methodical, baby-step by baby-step of re-training the individual's will to not be totally bulled over by the impulsive emotion that is so overpowering in these ppl, and instead to gain a functioning internal authority which allows the person to make choices about acting, whether to act on the emotion or not, whether to be demanding or not, etc. > > Anyway, it was working with my pre-teen. I had actually started to do some of it in a vague way on my own, sort of re-inventing the wheel, starting very vey young with kiddo. But doing it systematically was far better, which I started doing around kiddo's age 8. > > Liz > > -- Kate wrote: > Tanith - > > I would be interested to know how we can apply this method to our loved ones with BPD please.Or if someone else knows I would be very interested. > > > Send questions & concerns to WTOParentsOfBPs-owner . " Stop Walking on Eggshells, " a primer for non-BPs can be ordered via 1-888-35-SHELL (). For the table of contents, see http://www.BPDCentral.com > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted July 26, 2004 Report Share Posted July 26, 2004 Kate, I'm the one who brought it up. Maybe someone else has applied it as well. But in any event, I did--and with success. Rather than going through the whole idea of whispering to horses here, and maybe getting some of it wrong, I'd think you should go to the website and get it from the horse's mouth (lol). Once you've read that, and the book that was written about Monte , maybe you'll see. In any event, what the main point is is something that I see also being applied in DBT. it is the " indiret " way of challenging the person's will to comply with an outside authority. PD's have a problem with this. My son, starting around age 6, started saying that I was making him into my " slave " just because I " told him " to wash his hands or some such request. He said I was " ordering " " commanding " etc. of him, and therefore that he was becoming a slave. It was an obvious misunderstanding of the benevelent meaning I had in my request that he " obey " my decisions. This developed with him into full fledged rebellion against an outside authority. PD's have a problem with external authority. It's " my way or the highway " so often with them. I found that the horsewhispering got into his mind in a way that was non-threatening for him, enabling him to willingly " obey " --and not just " obey " , but also be willing to search out the other person's desire or will and " go along " , as in when there was a simple disagreement of whether to go to McD's or B'King. being non-confrontational and yet asserting that he, as a little tyke, wasn't going to dictate the situation, was necessary for him to work with. Also in the DBT, I see the same sort of philosophy being applied. I'm not an expert on DBT, but I read a bunch of the Linehan stuff and was incorporating some of the exercises with kiddo. A lot of it is the slow, methodical, baby-step by baby-step of re-training the individual's will to not be totally bulled over by the impulsive emotion that is so overpowering in these ppl, and instead to gain a functioning internal authority which allows the person to make choices about acting, whether to act on the emotion or not, whether to be demanding or not, etc. Anyway, it was working with my pre-teen. I had actually started to do some of it in a vague way on my own, sort of re-inventing the wheel, starting very vey young with kiddo. But doing it systematically was far better, which I started doing around kiddo's age 8. Liz -- Kate wrote: Tanith - I would be interested to know how we can apply this method to our loved ones with BPD please.Or if someone else knows I would be very interested. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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