Re: Libido Herb

[Guest guest]

In a message dated 8/28/00 9:31:54 AM Eastern Daylight Time, ROZISROZ@...

writes:

<< hot flashes >>

Politically correct term is: POWER SURGES!!! lol

In Charlottesville, VA

[Guest guest]

In a message dated 8/28/00 8:37:22 PM Eastern Daylight Time, Gttnthin@...

writes:

<< I used to be anyplace anywhere? Now it is like no place no where and no

way. >>

,

Although I was not as space or time open as you were, I used to enjoy the

sexual aspects of marriage much more than I do now. Sometime within a few

years of my son being born that all changed. I have gone at least 12-15 years

with a " the further apart the better " attitude. (Yes, that translates to your

" no place no where and no way. " ) I enjoy it while we are doing it; it is just

getting me interested in the first place.

My poor husband is a jewel in that he leaves me alone until he really REALLY

needs it. Well, I should say he used to! Since I have lost these 160 lb., he

can't keep his hands off of me. He keeps telling me " It's all your fault, you

know! " I respond, " Do you want me to regain all the weight? " Said with a

great big smile.

For his sake (and maybe a little peace for my mind to relieve the guilt I

feel), I will give this MACA a try. ;^) And I am not adverse to having a

little bit of fun along the way, too! LOL

As for the statement that maybe it's because you work out so much: I think

that is a bunch of hogwash!!! I had even less libido when I weighed 350 lb.

than I do now at 190 lb.: My total work out then was walking the 1/2-1 block

between my car and the office; now, I do 30-90 mins weight training or cardio

5-6 days a week.

Why did my libido change? I do NOT HAVE THE FOGGIEST IDEA! I have never

stopped loving my husband; love him more in so many ways. Weight has come and

gone Fitness has gone and come. Son grown (but still living at home). Libido

varies from low to lower. <shaking head>

In Charlottesville, VA

[Guest guest]

Who is this guy Herb? And why are we talking about his libido?

What about men? I have noticed a definite change since the surgery. Decreased

libido as well as a reduced intensity and production during sex. Arousal

isn't the problem. My PCP called it retrograde ejaculation...talk about being

given a straight line! I expected to hear a snare drum doing rim shots as I

came up with responses to his diagnosis. I thought of using Viagra, but It

would only keep me from rolling out of bed! BA DA BOOM!

All right, get your minds back on track! Seriously, I am somewhat

disappointed. I thought that after losing 220 pounds I would be the thin stud

I always dreamed of. No such luck. Also, my wife seems to have entered

menopause and her libido is even lower! Have any of you guys out there

experienced this? I did come out of the surgery with some nerve damage in the

planeal (SP) nerve that had my backside totally numb and my left foot with

peripheral neuropathy and a drop foot. No one seems to make any connection,

although I have not consulted a urologist about it.

Any ideas or thoughts?

anonymous (OK, its BobA)

[Guest guest]

While I do not have the answers to the many decreased libido questions we

have asked on this list, one aspect I do know of is medical. Estrogen is

what, in part gives us our libido. Estrogen is produced by fat cells.

Since we have such a rapid and large reduction in body fat, our free

estrogen levels fall drastically. Since our levels were prolly way higher

than " lab normal levels " , we do not test out as low now, but actually are

significantly lower than we have been for years. I don't know what to do

about it, but am also willing to give the MACA a try..

Dr. Carolyn

Re: Libido Herb

>In a message dated 8/28/00 8:37:22 PM Eastern Daylight Time,

Gttnthin@...

>writes:

>

><< I used to be anyplace anywhere? Now it is like no place no where and no

>way. >>

>

>,

>

>Although I was not as space or time open as you were, I used to enjoy the

>sexual aspects of marriage much more than I do now. Sometime within a few

>years of my son being born that all changed. I have gone at least 12-15

years

>with a " the further apart the better " attitude. (Yes, that translates to

your

> " no place no where and no way. " ) I enjoy it while we are doing it; it is

just

>getting me interested in the first place.

>

>My poor husband is a jewel in that he leaves me alone until he really

REALLY

>needs it. Well, I should say he used to! Since I have lost these 160 lb.,

he

>can't keep his hands off of me. He keeps telling me " It's all your fault,

you

>know! " I respond, " Do you want me to regain all the weight? " Said with a

>great big smile.

>

>For his sake (and maybe a little peace for my mind to relieve the guilt I

>feel), I will give this MACA a try. ;^) And I am not adverse to having a

>little bit of fun along the way, too! LOL

>

>As for the statement that maybe it's because you work out so much: I think

>that is a bunch of hogwash!!! I had even less libido when I weighed 350 lb.

>than I do now at 190 lb.: My total work out then was walking the 1/2-1

block

>between my car and the office; now, I do 30-90 mins weight training or

cardio

>5-6 days a week.

>

>Why did my libido change? I do NOT HAVE THE FOGGIEST IDEA! I have never

>stopped loving my husband; love him more in so many ways. Weight has come

and

>gone Fitness has gone and come. Son grown (but still living at home).

Libido

>varies from low to lower. <shaking head>

>

> In Charlottesville, VA

>

>

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

I absolutely do not know why my libido is gone, but I'd better find out. I

have almost no libido whatsoever. I had my testosterone checked at my last

physical a few months ago, and it was high normal. It's freaky. In a weird

way, since I'm single, it makes life easier. But it's definitely gone and I

wish it wasn't. It's an issue that just hasn't been addressed. It makes

all of that human growth hormone talk sound interesting.....

P.S. Cute viagra joke ;-)

Re: Libido Herb

> Who is this guy Herb? And why are we talking about his libido?

>

> What about men? I have noticed a definite change since the surgery.

Decreased

> libido as well as a reduced intensity and production during sex. Arousal

> isn't the problem. My PCP called it retrograde ejaculation...talk about

being

> given a straight line! I expected to hear a snare drum doing rim shots as

I

> came up with responses to his diagnosis. I thought of using Viagra, but

It

> would only keep me from rolling out of bed! BA DA BOOM!

>

> All right, get your minds back on track! Seriously, I am somewhat

> disappointed. I thought that after losing 220 pounds I would be the thin

stud

> I always dreamed of. No such luck. Also, my wife seems to have entered

> menopause and her libido is even lower! Have any of you guys out there

> experienced this? I did come out of the surgery with some nerve damage in

the

> planeal (SP) nerve that had my backside totally numb and my left foot with

> peripheral neuropathy and a drop foot. No one seems to make any

connection,

> although I have not consulted a urologist about it.

>

> Any ideas or thoughts?

>

> anonymous (OK, its BobA)

>

>

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

In a message dated 8/29/00 8:02:18 PM Pacific Daylight Time,

clown-fish@... writes:

>

> << As for thoughts about your never and how it affects your stamina, >>

>

> OOPS!! I meant to say " as for thoughts about your nerve ..............

>

Sigmund Freud just did a roll over!

BobA

[Guest guest]

,

Yes this is a concern for a good many of us. However some are the exact

opposite, more libido than ever. From the messages posted though, I think

those of us with sagging libido's are in the majority. I definitely think

your x is wrong about it being because of working out too much! There are

those who don't work out at all and still have the loss. I would classify

myself as an average exerciser. Three times a week. Weights and cardio.

Welcome to the group!

Blessings!

Renonna )

Re: Libido Herb

> Group

> This is my first post and I can't believe it is related to this subject. I

> was just telling my future x husband that I don't have much of a sex drive

> left anymore. He suggested that is was because I workout so much. Then

today

> I read that maybe it has been a topic of conversation on the list before.

> Has it? Are there more of you having lack of desire. I never used to be

like

> this, only up until a couple of weeks ago have I started to notice it

more.

> I'm 37 and I used to be anyplace anywhere? Now it is like no place no

where

> and no way.

>

>

> Fresno Ca.

> Open R N Y 7/3/99

> Dr. Galdden

> 359 / 215/ 175

>

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

Hi All,

The subject of libido and sex (apparently there is some question as to

weather they are related or not) has been interesting, fun and informative.

It is a subject that interests me as I am one of the ones that had a GREAT

libido pre op (and had GREAT sex pre op) but who has slowly lost all libido

(although I can still have GREAT sex - but it is totally up to my hubby to

initiate anything because I have no desire for it) Once " inspired " I still

get pleasure and enjoyment - but it really never crosses my mind on it's

own. This can be a BIG problem as my husband worries about initiating sex -

I am often feeling sick, I have osteo, so I often have bone pain and such -

he feels like he never knows " when " would be a good time for me physically.

We are very open about talking about sex and I have told him that I would

let him know if I physically wasn't " up " for sex, but he still finds it hard

to initiate. I also bruise VERY easily now. (kneeling down to tie my shoe

leaves a bruise on my knee) He knows how easily I bruise, we often joke that

some day I'll end up in emergency for " something " and he'll find himself

being arrested for spousal abuse when some doctor calls the cops because of

my many bruises. But I know this is part of the problem for him - he worries

he will " hurt " me during sex - I know his " techniques " have changed over

time - some of which have everything to do with his concern - regardless of

what I say - that he will injury or bruise me.

Then there is the issue of " stamina " - I know - normally within the mans

" domain " , however, it is a real problem for me. If he gathers his courage

and initiates sex, then works to get me interested in it, I really enjoy the

activity, but get exhausted by it fairly quickly. He has never had any

" staying power " problems - now, however, I can't last long enough for him.

He says this doesn't matter, that orgasm isn't the most important part of

intimacy - and I feel like I have slipped into some Twilight Zone episode

where all the " lines " of men and women are reversed or something. I mean -

come on - popular culture certainly indicates that orgasm is the ONLY

important part of sex for men. It isn't that he is lying to me,as such, I do

believe he enjoys the intimacy and closeness - and that " something " is

better than " nothing " but I do feel bad.

For me - it is all health - or at least it all started with health

(certainly there are the emotional things I mentioned above - but they are a

result of health) NOT age - I'm 36 years old. I don't think, in my case, it

is any one health issue - rather a combination and accumulation of

deficiencies etc. over time.

So all I have to share on this subject is what is happening for me - no

solutions or suggestions - but I am open to them.

I do have a request, however, can we change the subject line if this thread

continues. I have a REALLY bad memory and keep wondering each time I log on

to check mail who the heck Herb is and what is wrong with his libido now?

Take care

Tracey