My posting style/apologies

[Guest guest]

This is a difficult post for me, and I apologise in advance if anyuone

is offended. Sorry for the length but I need to get some things off my

chest.

It has been made clear to me that people find me bossy and that I come

off as forceful and picky.

I don't often reply to light social mails because basically, and this

is hard to say, I am shy and it's difficult for me to keep up with

light social banter. I am the typical nerd with thick glasses who sat

in the corner and did other people's homework, who was bullied for

having the right answer and the foolishness to raise my hand.

My posting style is very direct; I guess this is because I both write

for a living and am accustomed to report writing. I will try my best

to be softer in the way I put forth my information, but also I would

be grateful if you cut me a little slack and take it for granted that

I:

- would never mean to offend or hurt anyone's feelings

- always respect others opinions,

- never feel that anyone's beliefs or feelings are less or more

important than mine,

- do not believe myself to be above or below anyone else

- tend to write things without an agenda or hidden purpose; what you

see is what you get.

- respect you, for your intelligence and abilitities, as I do

colleagues at work.

If I have hurt any of you in the past, I am geuinely sorryy. Should I

offend someone in the future bring your problems as the only person

who can change my behaviour is me; do not go behind my back. Trust

that you will be received with respect if you approach me with respect.

Bringing this type of message to the group is only to make sure that

my posts do not offend, that I do not hurt anyone, because right now I

feel decidly uncomfortable and feel that in order to stay I must make

this kind of disclaimer.

It was last 1 January that I fell ill and only returned to work for

two weeks since, although I continue to write for publication. In the

year that I have been off waiting to return to my very beloved job, I

felt like I was a rusting combine sitting out in the field, unwanted

and getting less useful byu the day.

The, I found a place where I could help by looking things up,

researching for answers and finding out about new things and posting

them when people asked about things. This has been a real blessing,

helping me remember that I can still do the things I need to do at

work. You have no clue how much it has helped me redevelop my

confidence and shore up my sagging self esteem. It has helped me keep

the gears turning to continue to use the type of reasoning essential

for my work. I always felt that people would see my posts for what

they were- bits of information intended to serve as background in

making up your own mind.

Now I know that I am unwanted, that my posts have all been compleely

misconstrued and that I am seen as an arrogant idiot who looks down on

all of you thinking myself to be the only one who knows anything. How

far from the truth this belief is! I am crushed, and wish I knew a way

to open my heart so you all could see.

Sometimes, I am clumsy as we all are; please do not attribute anything

more than human error to such times. I anm direct, yes, but never

offensive in my words- I say what I think and then its done. I respect

others who do the same.

Please do not reply to this email in the group- it is not an attempt

to get you all to say nice things to me, its just an attempt to

salvage my place on this list since I have been made aware of how

reviled I am by so many people. Please all give me a second chance to

earn your respect and friendship and in return I promise I will not

post at all unless someone asks me to or I feel it is absolutely

essential for me to do so.

Submitted respectfully,

Bethann