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I just read

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a couple of books on BPD...and I believe that my late husband and also

my 25 year old son had/have it. There was a lot with my husband, we

lost a 7 year old to cancer 25 years ago and he started a long

downhill spiral. Depression, OCD, and a lot that never made sense.

There was so much to it that I hate to drag it all up. He was a

professional but toward the end of his life, wasn't able to work. He

was good at emotional blackmail, putting me down, being moody and

withdrawn. My son has graduated from college, has a history of

shoplifting, not working more than a couple of months in a row, and

emotional outbursts. My late husband died 4 years ago and I am

happily remarried and live in anothher state from my children. I feel

like some lightbulbs have gone off with the information I read and I

would love to talk to others who have gone through/going through

relationships with relatives who have BPD. I thought for a long while

that I needed to forgive my late husband for all the pain and

suffering he caused me and the children...and I had trouble doing that

as it went on for so long and I can't forgive myself for putting up

with it. If this is what had happened to him, I need to get my

head and emotions around it. I need to deveop strategies for being

there for my son without sacrifcing myself to do it.

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