My Heart is Broken

[Guest guest]

Debbie, from my own experience, much like yours, this is simply an awful

time. The parents get torn up and apart while the BPD goes blithely on their

way to more self destruction. I guess if I have learned anything, it is that

I didn't cause my daughter's problems and I can't fix them. Sounds trite but

it is nonetheless true. Nothing got better in my case until I let " S " run

away, get into endless trouble, so sick she needed hospitalization, drugs,

sex, burglary and all the rest. She was on her own and didn't have me to

blame or prop her up. Age 16, by the way. She was actually relieved when I

had the escorts pick her up out of sick bed and take her back (third time) to

an RTC. Like drunks and addicts, there has to be a bottoming experience. It

hurt like hell and all the family and neighbors criticized me endlessly for

not chasing her when she ran away. In fact, she did it with my permission but

Dr. Spock doesn't cover this trauma and I did what I knew in my heart I had

to do.

Tony

[Guest guest]

Tony

You did the right thing. We removed our grandson before he got that bad and

I wish we hadn't. I wish we had let him fall on his face first. We tried to

" help " him before he reached the point your daughter has and it didn't work.

They have to want to help themselves. Sometimes they just never want help.

Ann

[Guest guest]

Ann, the nicest thing about this posting board is the understanding of people

like you. No matter how I tell myself that I did the right thing, it is still

very important to have reinforcement from people who know what the agony is

all about. Thank you