Not victims, victorious!

[Guest guest]

Chip and all,

I agree with you, put so well, we are not victims. I have once thought

that I was a victim, so I can see how Debbie feels and I know you can.

But, we must be overcomers, YES. And only lately have I been able to do

it. So, I guess I get to be the one to spout off now.

There is so much fear with this condition, but with wise decisions and

tuning into what your body is telling you, you can live a normal (or near

it) life. It takes much determination, and it takes much redefining of

yourself. We can " take captive our thoughts " , and do NOT let this stone

in your path get the best of you.

I have lost much over the last 2 years truly pitying myself to death.

And, I don't mean to be insensitive. I am VERY sensitive, on the contrary

and I support you all. I pray for you. But, there is a time when we must

take the bull by the horns, as they say, and get up, and get going.

All this sounds so cliche' and silly. But, really, I have been living it,

and anyone hearing me must know that healing will come. It must. We can

be so very sick, and very critically sick. I have been many times in two

years. But, there is a dying within that we as chiarians sometime seem to

harbor. Because of the chronic ness of our conditions. It is the undoing

of us when we suffer so much. You shout, WHY, and ENOUGH pain. We get

tired of it, as they say " sick of being sick " .

I have been to so many Drs. and they really don't have answers. There is

the ACM surgery (I have not had yet), so there is that hope that some

things can get better. But, even still, as some will tell you, there is

stuff to live with after that too. My surgery in 1997 was 6 hours long. I

had C3-7 fused, and metal plates, bolts and screws drilled into my neck.

Three disks removed. They can not put that back. It was not any good

anyway. So, now I cannot look at the sky, swallow well, or tilt my head

at any normal angle whatsoever etc. And, I have pain most of the time on

most of my days. I had to realize that this is going to be it, unless I

get a creative miracle that will regenerate my neck and lower head space.

SOOOO...... it took time, but I had to think a new way. It is a simple as

that in some respects.

But, this last year was the pits, (no, not arm pits, I will not start

that conversation again :-) and, I really felt like I was going to die. I

thought of my life as being short and that somehow I was just going to

check out soon. I hate to even admit that, cuz I really am a type-A kind

of person. Do or did you guys feel that way? I had to say enough!!!!

Stopped and got that bull by the horns. It is NOT easy, I have to tell

you. Some may not even want to hear what I am saying. And that is ok, I

was there too. We live with a great deal of guilt and DO NOT have to. We

did not make our head bones malformed and brains come out. It is just a

thing that happened. And, we do not make up the symptoms. We have to

learn to live with them. And, some symptoms may just go away or get

better too - I do not say give up on that search on how to help alleviate

those symptoms.

I guess the situation with the world (war) at this time did it for me

along with Jesus, cuz I did not see that I was in such a bad situation

after all when I saw those buildings come down and those lives snubbed

out in an instant. It is when you can see yourself in a different light

that you can do the " getting going " .

I only hope this for you all who need to hear it. I have seen that some

that have written at wacma for years have overcame already and it is a

great inspiration for me. I am to some of you, your greatest fan. I keep

reading, and I have wondered, what gives you all such courage. I enjoy

and love to see humor, love and huggs from those. I have been memorizing

the addresses and trying to connect names with them. I look forward to

hearing from many of you. It helps me to keep things in perspective.

I suggest too, that if you are not at this point of learning to LIVE with

ACM yet, that you try, and really hard, to get in touch with what is

going on within yourself. You must to live. I'll repeat a thing I had in

my update last week, cuz it helped me to read it again for myself. If you

have a chronic problem, find a good chronic solution or solutions that

will help keep you alive. Not only alive, but LIVIN' the good life. We

really can. We are not victims, just spessscccial!

in Ala.

(A post note of a different subject)

__________________________

> Which doctor is the well recommended doctor in Alabama? I

> believe he is in Birmingham. Is it Dr. Rosner?

> If anyone has this doctor info please send me the address, phone

> number, and email addy if you know/there is one.

_____________________________

Amber,

I am very curious about the Dr. you mentioned because I live near

Birmingham Ala. and I wanted to see him in the first place. I thought he

was in North Carolina, and once I was on a waiting list to see him, but

am unable to see a way to get there for now. I checked, and he is not at

the University of Alabama Hospital. Perhaps another? or, still in North

Car.

Does anyone know if Dr. Rosner truly moved to Birmingham, Al? I'd really

like to see him if he is that close to me.

The Drs. that I saw this year (4) have not given me much comfort or

answers as to what to do about my status thus far with ACM. And, although

I am so much better now, I still have many physical things to overcome.

The body has to line up with my mind.

Thanks,

in Ala.

ACM-I 6mm, spinal stenosis, spinal fusion C3-7, dysautonomia

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