I have decided.....

[Guest guest]

Hiya ladies,

Well, I have made a decision..........

<drum roll>

At the end of this cycle, which is next week, I am tossing the birth control

pills out the window.

I saw my OB/GYN last week, and, after much deliberation, consultation with my

other physicians, I decided it was time we go ahead and prepare to start

trying to conceive. I even filled my prescription for Materna tabs and have

started taking them.

I am now 14 months post op, and, although not at the weight I would like to

be, which is 150, I am at 188, and, hoping that in the next two months before

I actually start trying to conceive, I will be able to at least drop another

20 lbs. I am not going to start trying until December, as I have to have two

full cycles after the pill to start trying safely.

I am indeed very scared about this decision. It is not so much about " will I

be a good mom " as it is about " will I survive pregnancy. " You see, there is

more than just being post op RNY to be considered. I was diabetic pre op and

there is a HIGH likelihood that it will return gestationally. I was diet

controlled previously (now I can sell you a bridge if you believe that one)

but it may return worse, and, I am not thrilled with the idea of Accucheck or

insulin injections. I am also gonna have a hard time with a diabetic diet as

I really like carbs. But, as it stands now, my diabetes is COMPLETELY

ASYMPTOMATIC, which I am thrilled over.

In addition to the normal fear of conceiving at a higher weight than within

normal limits and unreasonable weight gain, I also will be a high risk

pregnancy due to a uterine deformity I have. This deformity is accompanied

by many complications in pregnancy such as higher rate of miscarriage,

bleeding throughout pregnancy, restriction to bedrest, pre-term labor and

c-section due to breech presentation. None of this can be guaranteed, as

nothing is with pregnancy, but, these are strong possibilities. I am not

looking forward to a complication-filled pregnancy, especially being stuck in

bed for a few months stuffing my face, become a beached whale once again and

watching my diabetes and high blood pressure return.

Gee, can you tell I am excited about this decision????? lol Sorry, bad joke.

Anyhow, I really would like to have a child, I had this surgery to be able to

do so, but, now that it is such an imminent reality, I am terrified. I am

sure many of you know how I feel, and, I am so happy that I have this place

to come to and share my feelings.

So, there it is...........

Hugs to all,

Rita in NYC

www.geocities.com/heartland/cottage/9829/