Getting it off my chest, if I may...

December 11, 2006

Hello,

Some of you may remember me. I am a 38 y/o man diagnosed (by my GP)

with fibro. I am married with 4 kids.

As those of you who are married (or were) know, it's a struggle to

retain some form of normalcy. My wife and I aren't doing well.

Yesterday I had a really bad day fibro-wise (today is worse) and just

wanted to lay on the couch with the kids in the afternoon. My wife

went to a friend's party; I picked up the kids from a rehearsal and

made sure that they did their chores, took care of lunch, including my

wife and did 2 loads of laundry.

Last night she told me that I have no compassion for anyone other than

myself and that the TV show that was on when I was on the couch was

more important than her. I actually had to fight myself to stay awake

at 6:30 last night. It was horrible. While I was in the living room,

she was on the phone at various times throughout the afternoon and

night. At one point, she asked me to look at an email that she was

going to send out. I asked her if she could bring it to me… no response.

I need to add that the previous two days were great for me. I thought

that the fibro was almost gone. She wasn't feeling well, so I let her

lay in bed, sleep or do whatever she needed to. I was feeling decent

enough to take care of the kids and house, etc.

Anyway, back to last night. The kids went to bed, then I went to bed

hurting, half listening to her and trying to stay awake. I honestly

don't know what time I fell asleep.

This morning she told me that I have a lack of compassion to anyone

but myself and the kids. She brought up " When was the last time you

called your sister or grandmother? " Honestly, it's been a while.

She said that she was on the phone waiting for me to come to bed. I

know that she is feeling neglected, but sometimes (well, a lot of

times) I don't have the energy to do much. This has affected our

relationship in multiple ways including intimately and she is feeling

rejected. I understand that, but don't know what to do. I know that

she resents me.

Today is a really down day. It hurts just " being " , if that makes

sense. I just don't know what to do.

Thanks for letting me bend your ears.

~

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