My friend Majida

[Guest guest]

Dear all:

For the past 10 years I have been friends with a Muslim woman, M., and her

four children and husband J. They are Palestinian.

Her children, age 17 to 25 or so, are the most well-behaved children I have

ever met. The family is not rich and when they come over I let them use my

computer and Internet access.

Since neither of our families are Christian, we celebrated Christmas together

one year and as a present they made a Middle Eastern feast with falafel, pita

bread, hummus, and more I am not going to try to spell. I had little presents

for the children, who were younger then.

When my book " Stop Walking on Eggshells " came out, all of them came to a

party that my coauthor and I had. M. is the only one besides my husband and

myself who loves our cat, Princess Kitticat Velcro Bondidog Kreger. She is

now 15 or older and I can talk only to M. about my fear of losing her because

my husband can't talk about it. When we go on vacation, they come and take

care of kitty. They are the only ones we trust to do that.

Their eldest daughter, N., is married and just became pregnant. She works at

a bank and has been promoted. Then comes D, who is also married and having a

baby. Both girls are smart and in college. The marriages were arranged, which

is very different from my culture. But it was clearly the girls' decision as

to whom they would marry. When N. said, " No " to the first one, I spoke with

her about what a difficult decision that was to make. She looked at me with

surprise and said, " We all made it all together. " When I had to move out of

an office because of continuing health problems, N.and her father and M.

helped me carry all the furniture down five flights of stairs. No elevator.

S. the youngest, is 17 and likes to visit me with her Mom so she can see

kitty and visit. I knew her when she was 10 and just the baby and now she is

almost grown up. The oldest, W., loves Star Trek like we do. He borrowed our

Trek encyclopedia and apologized for keeping it " too long. " He pretends to

hate his sisters but he loves them very much.

M. and her family have been here for me and very supportive as I stayed in

the house all alone, writing books and creating this community for people who

love someone with Borderline Personality Disorder. Many times M. was the only

person I saw all day, other than the postman. She encouraged me, asked me how

each little thing was and never wavered in her confidence over me even when I

doubted myself. This BPD community doesn't know who she is, but she (like my

husband) has been my constant support system that enabled me to help others.

How she and her husband raised four children on minimum wage I don't know.

M. was supposed to come over yesterday but she never showed up. I am very

very afraid that because of what is happening, they are being harassed. I

don't know. When she finally called I only got to talk to her for a minute.

She and her family would no more hurt someone than I would bomb a state

building. Every time I talk to her on the phone, the first words out of her

mouth are " How is Kitty? "

During these days, Americans will begin to feel a deep anger at their losses.

We have lost people, our way of life, our innocence and feelings of safety. I

am here to ask you to please remember than looking on a group of people and

seeing everyone in the same way is exactly what the perpetrators of this

outrage probably did.

I am worried about my friend and all of her cousins and relative and all

Muslims across the country. We have learned much since this country placed

our own Japanese Americans in camps during WW2. Please be careful not to

sweep a net of hate over people who you do not know and who do not deserve

it. We are all must more alike than we are different. Thank you. Please pass

the email to anyone, anywhere, before anger replaces the numbness, shock and

grief.

RandiBPD@...

List owner, Welcome To Oz Lists

Coauthor, Stop Walking on Eggshells

Love and Loathing, Hope for Parents

www.BPDCentral.com