Re: Digest Number 208

September 27, 2000

Charmayne, I just sent you an email, saying I was not coming, but I think

we may indeed be coming. My husband Tom & I will want instructions on how

to get there.

Digest Number 208

>

May 23, 2002

HI all,

My therapist says that this is a chemical brain imbalance-period. True,

stress at a young age can cause toxic damage to children BUT-that is not the

whole story and it would be a better world if we would stop blaming others

and actually working on issues. I was a single Mother also and I don't feel

hurt, I am downright angry. Like we don't have enough to worry about?

Explain to me please-when I took my daughter to therapy all those years and

finally one says " she has BPD-so I won't be seeing her anymore because it's

futile " just what can a parent do?

I guess it's like I've heard before-there are alot of bad doctors and

therapists out there and you need to find the one that works for you and

stay with that one, and disregard the rest-they aren't worth listening to.

-- Digest Number 208

May 24, 2002

Hi to everyone.

I am so glad I was not the only one who had problems with what that Dr said. I

dedicated my life to my kids after I divorced their father. Neglect? Abuse?

Belittle? I love my boys more than life itself and let them know it on a daily

basis. What nerve! The stuff we put up with on a daily basis and we have to be

put down like that? I guess I'm a little angry about this whole thing. Not only

does my son threaten me and my other son and himself, now I have to put up with

some guy, who doesn't know me, telling me it's my fault. We know we do all we

can for our kids and please know that I love you all and that God knows the

truth. Thanks for letting me vent. .

Judy Heath wrote: HI all,

My therapist says that this is a chemical brain imbalance-period. True,

stress at a young age can cause toxic damage to children BUT-that is not the

whole story and it would be a better world if we would stop blaming others

and actually working on issues. I was a single Mother also and I don't feel

hurt, I am downright angry. Like we don't have enough to worry about?

Explain to me please-when I took my daughter to therapy all those years and

finally one says " she has BPD-so I won't be seeing her anymore because it's

futile " just what can a parent do?

I guess it's like I've heard before-there are alot of bad doctors and

therapists out there and you need to find the one that works for you and

stay with that one, and disregard the rest-they aren't worth listening to.

-- Digest Number 208

May 24, 2002

I know, it makes me angry too!

But I think it is one of the problems we have to cope

with as well, I suppose. Not only are we trying to

cope with our kids and try to stay sane, you always

encounter the blame-question as well.

Sometimes I think it must be easier to have a child

with a " normal " physical illness where people simply

react like " oh the poor kid, can we help you " or

something like that.

No one in their right mind would jump and blame a

mother whose child has a tumour or something.

However, that will take a long time to change. Of

course there are probably plenty of abused or

neglected children who are diagnosed as BP one day.

And every unhappy child is one too many! However,

there are also plenty of people who were illtreated or

neglected or abused as a child who are not BP's today.

I think the answers must lie deeper. As a matter of

fact, feelings of stress are something very

individual, what may be a stressful of threatening

situation to one child may be perfectly normal for

another. Well, I guess Dr. schwartz's opinion is

wide-spread. That's why it does so good to have a

place like this club, where people know there is

certainly no such thing as a simple answer or easy

sharing out of guilt when BP is concerned.

Love to all, Gaby.

__________________________________________________________________

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May 24, 2002

Judy, All I can say is thank you. To you and your therapist for saying it is a

chemical brain imbalance. It freed me up from more guilt I started heaping upon

myself. Thank you also to everyone for your sharing and being open. I feel I

have made tremendous progress since being on this list. Patty

Judy Heath wrote: HI all,

My therapist says that this is a chemical brain imbalance-period. True,

stress at a young age can cause toxic damage to children BUT-that is not the

whole story and it would be a better world if we would stop blaming others

and actually working on issues. I was a single Mother also and I don't feel

hurt, I am downright angry. Like we don't have enough to worry about?

Explain to me please-when I took my daughter to therapy all those years and

finally one says " she has BPD-so I won't be seeing her anymore because it's

futile " just what can a parent do?

I guess it's like I've heard before-there are alot of bad doctors and

therapists out there and you need to find the one that works for you and

stay with that one, and disregard the rest-they aren't worth listening to.

-- Digest Number 208

May 24, 2002

For anyone who's interested ... I agree with all that

has been said about the 'specialists' quoted in the

articles. I found email addresses for two of them and

sent my opinions and experiences to them, however

humble they may be. There is a genetic component that

is slowly being uncovered, but still abuse, neglect,

chaos seem to be the easiest excuses for development

of BPD. I think it's important for these

'specialists' who blame to hear from loving parents of

BPD's; perhaps then we can begin to break down the

stigma that surrounds the illness. The two I wrote to

were Dr. ph Calabrese (joseph.calabrese@...)

and Dr. Schwartz (rcs@...). The latter

is out of the country until 6/17, so any emails will

be accepted after that date. Good luck to all of you.

lr

--- e wrote:

> I know, it makes me angry too!

>

> But I think it is one of the problems we have to

> cope

> with as well, I suppose. Not only are we trying to

> cope with our kids and try to stay sane, you always

> encounter the blame-question as well.

>

> Sometimes I think it must be easier to have a child

> with a " normal " physical illness where people simply

> react like " oh the poor kid, can we help you " or

> something like that.

> No one in their right mind would jump and blame a

> mother whose child has a tumour or something.

> However, that will take a long time to change. Of

> course there are probably plenty of abused or

> neglected children who are diagnosed as BP one day.

> And every unhappy child is one too many! However,

> there are also plenty of people who were illtreated

> or

> neglected or abused as a child who are not BP's

> today.

> I think the answers must lie deeper. As a matter of

> fact, feelings of stress are something very

> individual, what may be a stressful of threatening

> situation to one child may be perfectly normal for

> another. Well, I guess Dr. schwartz's opinion is

> wide-spread. That's why it does so good to have a

> place like this club, where people know there is

> certainly no such thing as a simple answer or easy

> sharing out of guilt when BP is concerned.

> Love to all, Gaby.

>

__________________________________________________________________

>

> Gesendet von Yahoo! Mail - http://mail.yahoo.de

> Yahoo! präsentiert als offizieller Sponsor das

> Fußball-Highlight des

> Jahres: - http://fifaworldcup.yahoo.com/de/

>

__________________________________________________

May 24, 2002

Hi , Yes, that is what we have to remember- God knows the truth. Thanks.

With special thoughts, Patty

karen yuzon wrote: