- Re: BU and 3 mc (m/c strongly discussed - graphic)

[Guest guest]

> Kristi,

>

> Thanks for your reply. I am soo sorry for your loss as well. If

you don't mind me asking, how far along were you when you m/c?

,

~ We lost our 'Lil One somewhere between 7w2d (when we had a hb) and

9w2d. Based on pathology, the baby died somewhere in the 8th week.

>When I saw the baby, I was shocked to see how much it looked like a

>baby. I guess I didn't expect this.

~ I purposely didn't look at mine that closely because a week before

our 9w US I had a nightmare that I passed my 'Lil One in the toilet

and was shocked to find that you could pick out the little eyes and

the stubs for the hands and feet. That very dream was the exact

reason why I chose to go the D & C route...I just couldn't imagine

getting through a natural m/c and seeing my dear little child dead.

The shock of going fishing for something that I thought was a HUGE

clot and then realizing it was our baby was bad enough!

>I was in shock and in utter disbelief as I had been to the doctor

>that morning and had an ultrasound and everything with the baby was

>fine I was told (I, on the otherhand, was bleeding).

~ Man...I cannot even imagine thinking that everything was OK and

then go through birthing your child as unexpectedly as you did. How

horrifying!!! I at least I knew the baby was gone...although I

didn't expect passing it because I had a D & C a week and a half

earlier. We didn't know at the time it was a failed D & C - most

likely due to my partial setpum. That was quite a surprise!!

>According to the lab work, the baby was a boy, which was really hard

for me to take. Now that I knew the gender of the baby, I could

picture him and saw him in the image of my husband.

I suspect that ours was a little girl...but only because of the fact

that o-day was five days after the last time we had bms. I catch

myself referring to " her " a lot in my mind...but I won't really in

this lifetime. Personally, I'm glad that I've been able to identify

her as a person and not some medical *blob* of cells...but I'm sure

others don't think the same way.

>

> My 3rd and recent m/c was much easier for me to deal with as I

kept as distant as possible from the pregnancy-I did not look at the

ultrasounds when they were performed

~I'm sure this is a normal reaction. I don't know how " connected " I

would let myself get on pg#3 after your history. I'd call that self-

preservation. My OB said that I'll need a lot of reassurance when we

get pg again, but he seemed to be very supportive of the hand-holding

that I'll need. He may just need to take that back once I BUUUG him

to death with numrous questions, requests for US, etc.

>

> If you don't mind me asking, when did you have your m/c and what

are your current plans (are you going to try again, have the doctor's

run more tests...)

~The 9w2d US was on 17 August 2002...the D & C on 19 Aug...and I passed

my 'Lil One on 30 September. So 30 Sept is the day I

consider " losing " my child - although life technically left a couple

weeks earlier. We would've been due on 30 April.

The way that the D & C failed cause the OB to suspect an MA...so I've

had and MRI that is " highly suggestive " of a septum, a SHG that

didn't show anything definative alongside an HSG that we had over a

year ago that didn't show anything. I'm a tough dx...probably

because my septum is pretty small and seems to be more down at my

cervix vs. protruding into the uterine cavity from the fundus. We

won't really know until the lap/hyst.

I have another consult with the RE on Tuesday, at which time I will

push to get the lap/hyst and possible resection in early February if

at all possible. The clinic seems to work on short wait times for

appts, surgeries, etc., so I think this it's likely to get this date.

After we have the lap/hyst, we'll know better about what we're

dealing with...and that will drive the ttc plan accordingly. If I

had my say in things (which I know I don't), we'd have a green light

to ttc by late April, at the earliest. That won't be soon enough!!!

>

> You are in my thoughts,

>

>

>

Thanks for your thoughts!!!

Take Care,

Kristi