Re: TTC talk and the list

[Guest guest]

> Now that

> she finally has some good news, I think it's only fair for us to

give

> her the same respect she has given us, and perhaps allow a

> little extra lee-way for this exciting and scary time in her life.

is pregnant?!?

Yahooo!

I did not know that--congrats!!!!

I gotta make some time to read the list again, I swear :-))))

Beth

SU/BU

[Guest guest]

> I, for one, am far more

> distracted by the (regular) Christian religious talk

> and public conversations that should be private about

> who's visiting who at what coffee shop and " call me

> later, I'll be home after 8 " etc etc.

Is there a lot of this here???

Beth

SU/BU

[Guest guest]

Ladies-

First, I have to say (blush) thank you to Jill for the kind words. I have

always tried to keep my ttc ramblings to a minimum and only post ttc items

that were relevant to my UD. I go to bbt lists for bbt info, etc. It is a

very fine line to straddle though...our MA's often figure very prominently

in our quest to ttc. I think Beth's post is not a reprimand, but rather a

reminder of the true purpose of this board....to share information (and our

thoughts/feelings) about our MA's. It would be an impossible task to

keep every discussion on track, let's face it, we are human. I do owe

the list an apology, in the past 2 days I have gotten completely out of

hand and strayed completely off course. But, what can I say? This board

means so much to me and truly don't think I would be have made it this far

without all of you ladies and I just had to share. No where else could I

find women who really do understand that my elation is tempered with a huge

dose of fear.

I truly hope that my inane " testing " play-by-plays haven't run anyone

off. This board is a fountain of information and support for those of us

whom nature didn't make quite right, and I would never intentionally do

anything to diminish the source.

UD

At 03:33 PM 1/21/2003 +0000, you wrote:

>I wanted to let people on the list know, in general, that if they are

>really really upset by ttc talk, just for a moment, consider the

>position of the ttc-er before they complain to Beth. , for

>example, has been here for years. She's been ttc-ing for 2 years.

>Her ttc-ing is complicated by her MA (UD), since it means she's

>only ovulating on the " good " side every few months, and often

>cannot know which months those will be! She's always been

>really supportive of everyone on this list, and has kept most of

>her long, painful, trying, frustrating ttc journey to herself. Now that

>she finally has some good news, I think it's only fair for us to give

>her the same respect she has given us, and perhaps allow a

>little extra lee-way for this exciting and scary time in her life. I

>firmly know that finding out one is pregnant in the very beginning

>is TERRIFYING just BECAUSE of the MA!!! I think that fear is

>what most of us are involved in when we are testing and seeing

>positive lines. Perhaps a little " bearing with one another " in our

>various trials and excitements could be warranted? Just a

>thought. It's always nicer, as well, to send a kind, friendly

>reminder email to the person who is bothering you, instead of

>complaining to Beth. This makes Beth's life easier, and helps

>the person not have to suffer any kind of public regrets for their

>posts.

>

>Warmly,

>

>Jill

>SU resected

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

Ladies,

I don't mind the occasional talk about the ttc and preg. But it is

frustrating to hear all about temping, preg. tests, etc. To keep

informed for encouragement is fine, but I think it is going over the

boundries as the way it has been. I think if there was a new site

for MA ttc site, it would be more beneficial. I'm not complaining,

but not everyone here is ttc, and for some who are ttc (like me), it

painful to see the constant talk about it. It has been a painful

experience in reading this cuz it is frustrating. As I said, I don't

mind the occasional updates, but not all the details of everyday. I

don't want to offend anyone, am glad for alot of you, but it is still

frustrating and hurtful. Private emails or the other idea would be

nice. I am losing interest in this cuz of this little prob., and

don't want to lose this site, cuz ya'll are nice and very

supportive. I have been recomend to others about this site.

Again, I am sorry of the complaint. I'm just trying to help those

who need more info. on the MA's, and the process of dealing with

that, etc.

Nikki T.

Vascular SU

[Guest guest]

Hi everyone,

I couldn't resist sharing an opinion here, although it may be an

obvious point. Isn't the whole point of the headline warnings which

we debated about a while back to avoid this type of complaining?

I think it's fair that if you aren't interested in TTC-related

matters, just skip those posts that have that in the heading.

Similarly, OT posts about religion, meetings or anything else not of

interest.

I think the incredible value in this board is the support it has to

offer to women at different stages of the MA-related journey, from

the news of having an MA, to diagnosis struggles, to possible

corrective options, to TTC, to possible m/c, to first (and repeat)

pregnancies, to dealing with relatives/friends etc. etc. We all can

find something of value here and tolerating the diversity of our

needs is one of the great things we can do for each other. Being

somewhat of a veteran of the whole childbearing experience, this has

been my view on in, thanks for listening.

Best regards,

Lia

UD

[Guest guest]

<,I enjoy hearing all of it

>(even the stuff I totally don't understand about stims

>and vials and whatnot). I, for one, am far more

>distracted by the (regular) Christian religious talk

>and public conversations that should be private about

>who's visiting who at what coffee shop and " call me

>later, I'll be home after 8 " etc etc. At least TTC is

>an issue we can all relate to, in one way or another.

>I think it's too bad people are complaining. It's a

>case of the squeaky wheel.

I agree with on all points here. My opinion is that as long as

header warnings are included, TTC talk (within reason, of course) is as

welcome as pregnancy talk (again within reason). Although some of the TTC

issues some members are facing may not be related to their MA's *directly*,

this list is a safe and welcome place to discuss these, and often the fears

associated with having the MA come into play while TTC. And much of the

pregnancy updates include both info related to MA's and not. The header

warnings should be enough to let those members steer clear of topics they

aren't wanting to participate in. I also think a spin-off TTC group is a

great idea. I agree that the list can become cluttered and sometimes it is

worthwhile to try and do a single update, or group thanks for support, etc.

in one post rather than over several posts. As well, my opinion is that

religious / get-together posts should be kept to private e-mails if

possible.

Thanks for hearing my thoughts.

SU resected, bicollis

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[Guest guest]

> I couldn't resist sharing an opinion here, although it may be an

> obvious point. Isn't the whole point of the headline warnings

which

> we debated about a while back to avoid this type of complaining?

> I think it's fair that if you aren't interested in TTC-related

> matters, just skip those posts that have that in the heading.

> Similarly, OT posts about religion, meetings or anything else not

of

> interest.>

> Best regards,

> Lia

> UD

Thanks for that, Lia. I would agree that if we are all diligent in

accurately reflecting the subject of our posts, each participant can

choose on their own whether or not they want to read it. I know it

may be hard for some to not read every post and be up-to-date with

all the women, but I personally found it easier to skip over the ones

for which I have no interest or information to share. It's been a

lot more manageable from an emotional standpoint to skip all the

pregnancy details, etc.

TTC talk, small references to faith (whatever that may be), pg notes,

breach discussions, temping, etc. - posted in moderation - can all

be a huge benefit to women on this Board. It would be a shame for

all of these discussion points to disappear altogether.

Just something to consider -

Kristi

31, 1 m/c

maybe *small* SU (but won't know for sure)

ttc #1

[Guest guest]

I have to second what some of the other ladies have been saying. I

don't see how you can disclude the ttc talk on this list. Of course,

I am biased - I am in the ttc camp. But many of us have experienced

m/c, surgeries and numerous other struggles just to get to the point

of ttc. I have been here over a year, several other ladies have been

here longer and I think it is that much more special to me that I

know the long journey they have been down. The stories that other

women post every cycle give me hope and/or perspective on my own

situation. To say we should not discuss ttc here, to me is like

saying that you cannot post progress reports on your pg exams unless

the progress of your pg was impacted by your MA, or you can't post

your baby's picture, or you can't vent about your evil MIL. Sorry,

I'm playing devil's advocate here. I'm afraid that we may create one

really exclusionary rule and thereby make this the MA-only club -

ttc'ers or uneventful preggos not welcome ;-).

I thought that we could use this forum for all women with MAs - those

ttc, pg, already a parent, not ttc or otherwise. I thought the

reason we had agreed to use the subject line was to make it easier to

skip those messages that are not of interest or are too painful to

read. I agree that certain messages should be taken off line like

when you are planning a get together; and maybe it would help the

volume of posts if only write a collective " thanks for thinking about

me " to the group instead of individual emails. Perhaps since the

group is growing so large we could find some ways to be efficient of

our use of the postings. I'm not sure what I think about starting a

ttc-MA group. I'm not sure I think it's necessary. Although I'm ttc

now, I try to respond to a lot of the posts from newer members that

are going through what I went through last year. I think that you

will lose the experience of those that go off to the ttc group.

The group is certainly growing fast and I think that has caused a few

wrinkles in the road. I hope we can work them out.

Just my two cents.

Sara

[Guest guest]

> Although I'm ttc

> now, I try to respond to a lot of the posts from newer members that

> are going through what I went through last year. I think that you

> will lose the experience of those that go off to the ttc group.

> Sara

Good point, Sara. It would be very sad to see some extremely

supportive members go to a ttc-MA board and not participate any

longer in this MA Board. The collective experience of EVERYONE, I

feel, is necessary to continue the vision of this discussion group -

TO SUPPORT ONE ANOTHER IN THEIR JOURNIES W/ AN MA.

Thanks for your input, Sara.

Kristi

31, 1 m/c

maybe *small* SU (but won't know for sure)

ttc #1

[Guest guest]

In a message dated 1/21/2003 6:01:08 PM Eastern Standard Time,

MullerianAnomalies writes:

> TTC talk, small references to faith (whatever that may be), pg notes,

> breach discussions, temping, etc. - posted in moderation - can all

> be a huge benefit to women on this Board. It would be a shame for

> all of these discussion points to disappear altogether.

>

Well now I'm just plain confused. I thought that pg notes and breech

discussions were directly related to MAs. PG notes because we all want to

compare our pregnancies to others and measure our dr's care against someone

else's. It's nice to support, and expect to find support, for a difficult

pregnancy as a result of the MAs we all have. And we know that

breech/transverse presentation is more common in women with MAs, so it's nice

to have some other voices that have been there done that already. These

aren't considered inappropriate topics, are they?

Becki

26, UU

[Guest guest]

Ladies

Wow, miss one day, and you miss a lot!

I can see both sides of the coin here. And altho I have not been

chatting about ttc, I know I have been spouting off about my and dh's

impending adoption. It's been very exciting for us, and I just

really wanted to share some of that excitement with all of you. I am

sure a similar excitement is behind a lot of what's happening with

all the ttc posts lately.

I agree with Lia, that I thought our " warnings " in subject lines were

supposed to help others determine whether the post was something of

interest to them or not. But I would not be opposed to a separate

MA - ttc list, either. Even tho my adoption talk really isn't

suitable for either one!

I for one, like periodically talking about my adoption here, because

I honestly feel such a sense of family with all of you....much more

than on the adoption boards I have joined.

I also do think that any kind of off-topic chatter is cyclical, and

doesn't hang around for long. I haven't been part of the group for

all that long - just since September, when I was (may I say,

INCORRECTLY) dx BU. But we all seem to get back " on topic " rather

quickly.

Just felt like throwing in my two cents! I think we have a great

thing going here - support unlike that we can find elsewhere, that is

for sure!

Tina

31, 2 m/c, septum resected 1/21