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Tomorrow I have to go to the doctors again...tired of this. I am

tired of hearing it is going to take " weeks " for me to get back to

normal. Tired of hearing, " no KJ, you cannot go to work " Tired of

being told to " get some rest " I am bored bored BORED!!!!! I want

to take this damn Christmas tree down...can't. I want to take a

shower...a REAL shower, not a sponge bath in the sink...I haven't had

a shower since December 12!!!!!! Dr. says NO shower until the

incision is closed...WHEN will THAT be??? TIME...time...!!! I am

tired of taking this antibiotic that makes my stomache so upset...I

am soooo FRUSTRATED!! AAAGGGHHH!!! If one more person tells me at

least I am getting a good vacation, I know I am going to scream!!

OUT LOUD AND VERY LOUD!!! says it is normal for me to

grieve...I asked him does it LOOK like I am grieving?!?! No!! I am

angry...mad as hell...this has been going on since December 2...I

want it DONE!! How anyone can grieve in the middle of this chaos is

beyond me. I will cry when I don't have to hold my stomache with a

pillow...OH MY HEAD!!! I think I might be losing my mind after

all... One day I am fine, the next I am a lunatic...a total

basketcase...today is not a good day. Sorry for the rantings but I

just can't help myself right now. KJ

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