Re: Long, maudlin introduction

[Guest guest]

At 12:52 PM 6/12/00 -0400, you wrote:

I understand how you feel...I am no professional...except a professional

mother of special needs kids, and yet I know how it feels, as we all do, to

lose your freedom, independence and abilities..with me it was

gardening....I'm sure you can imagine looking out at weeds where veggies

once grew, raising my horse's foal, and caring for the both of them (I

could once toss 80 lb bales of hay....now my son lifts the 20 lb bags of

cat food)....suffice to say I don't have the experiences you have but I

understand the fight you're in for and the " wealth " you stand to gain from

it....welcome to a group that DOES get it....it may help you have someone

besides your Dr to talk to......(((gentle hugs))) Dee...

>Hi, all. I am a newcomer to your list. My name is , and I am

>38 years old. I was just diagnosed with Fibromyalgia, but it is more

>or less putting a name on something I have known was very wrong for

>the last year. I was a lawyer (feels funny to say that), but I am

>just in the process of dismantling my practice and giving all my work

>away. I have been fooling myself into thinking that I was going to

>be able to continue. I really haven't done a damn thing in six

>months, and my cases are in disastrous shape, which is causing me a

>lot of distress. I wish I could have done this sooner, but, as I

>said, I couldn't face giving up a career that took me fifteen years

>to develop. Oh, well.

>

>I am currently dealing with a lot of medical appointments, a lot of

>drugs, and a lot of losses. I basically diagnosed myself - I

>happened across a website about Fiibromyalgia when I was looking for

>something else and felt like I was reading my life story. Over the

>last few years, I have been treated by various specialists for TMJ,

>vertigo, chronic back pain, numbness in my fingers, and depression.

>I am really furious that my Primary Care didn't put this together a

>long time ago, when I might have been able to prevent some of the

>damage that has been caused by my complete downfall, both physical

>and mental. I mean, looking at the whole picture, I don't know how

>she missed it - I even have a mild Chiari I malformation, which was

>an incidental finding on one of the many, many MRIs that have been

>done on me. Needless to say, every specialist who has treated me has

>ultimately told me they couldn't really do anything for me and they

>don't know what's causing all my problems. My orthopod has basically

>been a drug dispenser for years. Not his fault; he was treating my

>for a couple of minor disc herniations, but my pain really wasn't

>where it should have been. I now realize that the herniations

>weren't causing the problems, the FMS was. Anyway, I got this

>wishy-washy response from my primary care, which was even more

>infuriating. She kept saying " well, you know, you have all the

>symptoms, and the tender points, but, you know, it COULD be your

>thyroid problem..... " . This is pretty silly, since my hyperactive

>thyroid was irradiated years ago and my levels have been incredibly

>stable on a low dose of synthroid ever since. Why do they want to

>blame anything else they can think of? Anyway, I did manage to pry a

>referral to a rehab specialist from her, who diagnosed the disease,

>but even she is doing the " lets look at other causes " cha-cha. She

>has me going in for another thoracic MRI to check on a hemangioma

>that showed up on one five years agp. Sheesh - a hemangioma is like

>a little hemmorhage, and is absolutely benign, according to everyone

>who has looked at that MRI. What a waste of money (fortunately, the

>insurers, not mine). But off I trot to get tubed, so that I won't be

>labeled a non-compliant patient. I am in the market for another

>Primary Care, if anyone can reccomend someone in the Boston Area.

>

>I have been surprised to see how resistant some of the people on

>these lists are to psychiatric care. My psychiatrist and my

>therapist are my lifeline. Neither of them treat me like I am

>imagining this, but they have both been incredibly supportive and

>helpful, and it is really, really important for me to have someone to

>blow off steam with. My psych is extremely well versed in the drug

>therapies available, and is hard at work balancing my doses of

>Neurontin, Prozac and Effexor to give me the greatest effect and the

>greatest level of functioning with the least side effects. He has

>also provided me with other medications to help my sleep and my

>anxiety. They have been far more empathetic than my other doctors.

>

>As for my life, it is a mess. I am very poor - there has been no

>income from the law practice for almost a year, since I haven't been

>able to work - and I have been lying to everyone about how dire my

>situation was, since I kept thinking it would get better. I have

>applied for SSDI, but I'm well aware of how long that can take and

>how tough a fight it can be. I get one of two reactions from people

>I know to the fact that I am disabled. The first is that they just

>won't believe me. I have always been a go-getter, a problem solver,

>everyone else's strong shoulder in hard times, and I guess they just

>don't want to think that someone like that can fall apart. The other

>reaction I get is skepticism - I'm just a damn personal injury lawyer

>using the system to get free money. Uh, huh. It has really been

>worth destroying my relatively comfortable life for the generous ssdi

>benefits I can look forward to. Anyway, a lot of my " friends " have

>just dropped out of the picture. I'm sure this is familiar to a lot

>of you. My family has tried to be helpful, but I am straining their

>finances and their physical abilities (both of my parents are

>recovering from cancer(, which makes me feel even worse about myself.

>Basically, I really feel like an awful failure at this point. I have

>been very self sufficient throughout my adult life, and I can't stand

>being a burden on other people. I am, however, resigning myself to

>the fact that I had better get used to it.

>

>Thank Dog for my animals. I have four dogs, two cats, a bird and a

>ferret. Although it is draining sometimes to care for them, they are

>my best friends, are very tuned in to how I am feeling, and ,make me

>get out of the house. I am looking into having one of the dogs

>trained as a Service Dog for me - from my research, it seems like

>they have greatly expended the definitions of who qualifies. It

>would make my life much, much easier to have someone to help carry

>things and pick things up when I am too stiff, and it would also help

>stabilize my moods, which are so unreliable at this point that I

>avoid being out in public. Strangely enough, I just don't enjoy

>breaking into tears in front of total strangers.....Being the proud

>Mommy I am, I just have to throw in this link to pictures of my

>babies: http://www.zing.com/cgi-bin/album.cgi?album_id=4294878325

>

>Anyway, this is long winded enough. I am cross posting a little, so

>I am really sorry if you have been subjected to this twice. I am

>looking forward to joining a community of people who understand.

>

>

>--

>_________________________________________________________

> on leslie@...

>Loki on loki@...

>Shadow on shadow@...

>Amelia on amelia@...

>Fenris on fenris@...

>

> " He is your friend, your partner, your defender, your dog.

>You are his life, his love, his leader.

>He will be yours, faithful and true, to the last beat of his heart.

>You owe it to him to be worthy of such devotion " -- Unknown

>

>------------------------------------------------------------------------

>Get a NextCard Visa, in 30 seconds!

>1. Fill in the brief application

>2. Receive approval decision within 30 seconds

>3. Get rates as low as 2.9% Intro or 9.9% Fixed APR

>http://click./1/5195/5/_/442796/_/960829116/

>------------------------------------------------------------------------

>

>

>~*~CHAT TIME:~*~

>MON & THURS

>Day Eastern 4 PM, Central 3 PM, Mt 2 PM Pacific 1 PM

>Night Eastern 9 Pm, Central 8 Pm, Mt 7 PM Pacific 6 PM

>WHERE: /chat/

>

>

>VIP

>If there is a problem on this list notify.

>Co-Moderator

>The_List_Owner@...

>

>

>Add or view links about fibro/CFS.

>http://www.onelist.com/links/

>

>TO unsubscribe.

>Go to: http://www.onelist.com/ to this list and unsub from it.

>

>

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

Hi ~

You are among friends! I look forward to sharing with you, and getting to

know you better!

From my heart to yours,

Tammy

http://pages.ivillage.com/misc/messeoils/index.html

>

>Reply-To: egroups

>To: egroups

>Subject: Long, maudlin introduction

>Date: Mon, 12 Jun 2000 12:52:03 -0400

>

>Hi, all. I am a newcomer to your list. My name is , and I am

>38 years old. I was just diagnosed with Fibromyalgia, but it is more

>or less putting a name on something I have known was very wrong for

>the last year. I was a lawyer (feels funny to say that), but I am

>just in the process of dismantling my practice and giving all my work

>away. I have been fooling myself into thinking that I was going to

>be able to continue. I really haven't done a damn thing in six

>months, and my cases are in disastrous shape, which is causing me a

>lot of distress. I wish I could have done this sooner, but, as I

>said, I couldn't face giving up a career that took me fifteen years

>to develop. Oh, well.

>

>I am currently dealing with a lot of medical appointments, a lot of

>drugs, and a lot of losses. I basically diagnosed myself - I

>happened across a website about Fiibromyalgia when I was looking for

>something else and felt like I was reading my life story. Over the

>last few years, I have been treated by various specialists for TMJ,

>vertigo, chronic back pain, numbness in my fingers, and depression.

>I am really furious that my Primary Care didn't put this together a

>long time ago, when I might have been able to prevent some of the

>damage that has been caused by my complete downfall, both physical

>and mental. I mean, looking at the whole picture, I don't know how

>she missed it - I even have a mild Chiari I malformation, which was

>an incidental finding on one of the many, many MRIs that have been

>done on me. Needless to say, every specialist who has treated me has

>ultimately told me they couldn't really do anything for me and they

>don't know what's causing all my problems. My orthopod has basically

>been a drug dispenser for years. Not his fault; he was treating my

>for a couple of minor disc herniations, but my pain really wasn't

>where it should have been. I now realize that the herniations

>weren't causing the problems, the FMS was. Anyway, I got this

>wishy-washy response from my primary care, which was even more

>infuriating. She kept saying " well, you know, you have all the

>symptoms, and the tender points, but, you know, it COULD be your

>thyroid problem..... " . This is pretty silly, since my hyperactive

>thyroid was irradiated years ago and my levels have been incredibly

>stable on a low dose of synthroid ever since. Why do they want to

>blame anything else they can think of? Anyway, I did manage to pry a

>referral to a rehab specialist from her, who diagnosed the disease,

>but even she is doing the " lets look at other causes " cha-cha. She

>has me going in for another thoracic MRI to check on a hemangioma

>that showed up on one five years agp. Sheesh - a hemangioma is like

>a little hemmorhage, and is absolutely benign, according to everyone

>who has looked at that MRI. What a waste of money (fortunately, the

>insurers, not mine). But off I trot to get tubed, so that I won't be

>labeled a non-compliant patient. I am in the market for another

>Primary Care, if anyone can reccomend someone in the Boston Area.

>

>I have been surprised to see how resistant some of the people on

>these lists are to psychiatric care. My psychiatrist and my

>therapist are my lifeline. Neither of them treat me like I am

>imagining this, but they have both been incredibly supportive and

>helpful, and it is really, really important for me to have someone to

>blow off steam with. My psych is extremely well versed in the drug

>therapies available, and is hard at work balancing my doses of

>Neurontin, Prozac and Effexor to give me the greatest effect and the

>greatest level of functioning with the least side effects. He has

>also provided me with other medications to help my sleep and my

>anxiety. They have been far more empathetic than my other doctors.

>

>As for my life, it is a mess. I am very poor - there has been no

>income from the law practice for almost a year, since I haven't been

>able to work - and I have been lying to everyone about how dire my

>situation was, since I kept thinking it would get better. I have

>applied for SSDI, but I'm well aware of how long that can take and

>how tough a fight it can be. I get one of two reactions from people

>I know to the fact that I am disabled. The first is that they just

>won't believe me. I have always been a go-getter, a problem solver,

>everyone else's strong shoulder in hard times, and I guess they just

>don't want to think that someone like that can fall apart. The other

>reaction I get is skepticism - I'm just a damn personal injury lawyer

>using the system to get free money. Uh, huh. It has really been

>worth destroying my relatively comfortable life for the generous ssdi

>benefits I can look forward to. Anyway, a lot of my " friends " have

>just dropped out of the picture. I'm sure this is familiar to a lot

>of you. My family has tried to be helpful, but I am straining their

>finances and their physical abilities (both of my parents are

>recovering from cancer(, which makes me feel even worse about myself.

>Basically, I really feel like an awful failure at this point. I have

>been very self sufficient throughout my adult life, and I can't stand

>being a burden on other people. I am, however, resigning myself to

>the fact that I had better get used to it.

>

>Thank Dog for my animals. I have four dogs, two cats, a bird and a

>ferret. Although it is draining sometimes to care for them, they are

>my best friends, are very tuned in to how I am feeling, and ,make me

>get out of the house. I am looking into having one of the dogs

>trained as a Service Dog for me - from my research, it seems like

>they have greatly expended the definitions of who qualifies. It

>would make my life much, much easier to have someone to help carry

>things and pick things up when I am too stiff, and it would also help

>stabilize my moods, which are so unreliable at this point that I

>avoid being out in public. Strangely enough, I just don't enjoy

>breaking into tears in front of total strangers.....Being the proud

>Mommy I am, I just have to throw in this link to pictures of my

>babies: http://www.zing.com/cgi-bin/album.cgi?album_id=4294878325

>

>Anyway, this is long winded enough. I am cross posting a little, so

>I am really sorry if you have been subjected to this twice. I am

>looking forward to joining a community of people who understand.

>

>

>--

>_________________________________________________________

> on leslie@...

>Loki on loki@...

>Shadow on shadow@...

>Amelia on amelia@...

>Fenris on fenris@...

>

> " He is your friend, your partner, your defender, your dog.

>You are his life, his love, his leader.

>He will be yours, faithful and true, to the last beat of his heart.

>You owe it to him to be worthy of such devotion " -- Unknown

________________________________________________________________________

Get Your Private, Free E-mail from MSN Hotmail at http://www.hotmail.com

[Guest guest]

Hi ~

You are among friends! I look forward to sharing with you, and getting to

know you better!

From my heart to yours,

Tammy

http://pages.ivillage.com/misc/messeoils/index.html

>

>Reply-To: egroups

>To: egroups

>Subject: Long, maudlin introduction

>Date: Mon, 12 Jun 2000 12:52:03 -0400

>

>Hi, all. I am a newcomer to your list. My name is , and I am

>38 years old. I was just diagnosed with Fibromyalgia, but it is more

>or less putting a name on something I have known was very wrong for

>the last year. I was a lawyer (feels funny to say that), but I am

>just in the process of dismantling my practice and giving all my work

>away. I have been fooling myself into thinking that I was going to

>be able to continue. I really haven't done a damn thing in six

>months, and my cases are in disastrous shape, which is causing me a

>lot of distress. I wish I could have done this sooner, but, as I

>said, I couldn't face giving up a career that took me fifteen years

>to develop. Oh, well.

>

>I am currently dealing with a lot of medical appointments, a lot of

>drugs, and a lot of losses. I basically diagnosed myself - I

>happened across a website about Fiibromyalgia when I was looking for

>something else and felt like I was reading my life story. Over the

>last few years, I have been treated by various specialists for TMJ,

>vertigo, chronic back pain, numbness in my fingers, and depression.

>I am really furious that my Primary Care didn't put this together a

>long time ago, when I might have been able to prevent some of the

>damage that has been caused by my complete downfall, both physical

>and mental. I mean, looking at the whole picture, I don't know how

>she missed it - I even have a mild Chiari I malformation, which was

>an incidental finding on one of the many, many MRIs that have been

>done on me. Needless to say, every specialist who has treated me has

>ultimately told me they couldn't really do anything for me and they

>don't know what's causing all my problems. My orthopod has basically

>been a drug dispenser for years. Not his fault; he was treating my

>for a couple of minor disc herniations, but my pain really wasn't

>where it should have been. I now realize that the herniations

>weren't causing the problems, the FMS was. Anyway, I got this

>wishy-washy response from my primary care, which was even more

>infuriating. She kept saying " well, you know, you have all the

>symptoms, and the tender points, but, you know, it COULD be your

>thyroid problem..... " . This is pretty silly, since my hyperactive

>thyroid was irradiated years ago and my levels have been incredibly

>stable on a low dose of synthroid ever since. Why do they want to

>blame anything else they can think of? Anyway, I did manage to pry a

>referral to a rehab specialist from her, who diagnosed the disease,

>but even she is doing the " lets look at other causes " cha-cha. She

>has me going in for another thoracic MRI to check on a hemangioma

>that showed up on one five years agp. Sheesh - a hemangioma is like

>a little hemmorhage, and is absolutely benign, according to everyone

>who has looked at that MRI. What a waste of money (fortunately, the

>insurers, not mine). But off I trot to get tubed, so that I won't be

>labeled a non-compliant patient. I am in the market for another

>Primary Care, if anyone can reccomend someone in the Boston Area.

>

>I have been surprised to see how resistant some of the people on

>these lists are to psychiatric care. My psychiatrist and my

>therapist are my lifeline. Neither of them treat me like I am

>imagining this, but they have both been incredibly supportive and

>helpful, and it is really, really important for me to have someone to

>blow off steam with. My psych is extremely well versed in the drug

>therapies available, and is hard at work balancing my doses of

>Neurontin, Prozac and Effexor to give me the greatest effect and the

>greatest level of functioning with the least side effects. He has

>also provided me with other medications to help my sleep and my

>anxiety. They have been far more empathetic than my other doctors.

>

>As for my life, it is a mess. I am very poor - there has been no

>income from the law practice for almost a year, since I haven't been

>able to work - and I have been lying to everyone about how dire my

>situation was, since I kept thinking it would get better. I have

>applied for SSDI, but I'm well aware of how long that can take and

>how tough a fight it can be. I get one of two reactions from people

>I know to the fact that I am disabled. The first is that they just

>won't believe me. I have always been a go-getter, a problem solver,

>everyone else's strong shoulder in hard times, and I guess they just

>don't want to think that someone like that can fall apart. The other

>reaction I get is skepticism - I'm just a damn personal injury lawyer

>using the system to get free money. Uh, huh. It has really been

>worth destroying my relatively comfortable life for the generous ssdi

>benefits I can look forward to. Anyway, a lot of my " friends " have

>just dropped out of the picture. I'm sure this is familiar to a lot

>of you. My family has tried to be helpful, but I am straining their

>finances and their physical abilities (both of my parents are

>recovering from cancer(, which makes me feel even worse about myself.

>Basically, I really feel like an awful failure at this point. I have

>been very self sufficient throughout my adult life, and I can't stand

>being a burden on other people. I am, however, resigning myself to

>the fact that I had better get used to it.

>

>Thank Dog for my animals. I have four dogs, two cats, a bird and a

>ferret. Although it is draining sometimes to care for them, they are

>my best friends, are very tuned in to how I am feeling, and ,make me

>get out of the house. I am looking into having one of the dogs

>trained as a Service Dog for me - from my research, it seems like

>they have greatly expended the definitions of who qualifies. It

>would make my life much, much easier to have someone to help carry

>things and pick things up when I am too stiff, and it would also help

>stabilize my moods, which are so unreliable at this point that I

>avoid being out in public. Strangely enough, I just don't enjoy

>breaking into tears in front of total strangers.....Being the proud

>Mommy I am, I just have to throw in this link to pictures of my

>babies: http://www.zing.com/cgi-bin/album.cgi?album_id=4294878325

>

>Anyway, this is long winded enough. I am cross posting a little, so

>I am really sorry if you have been subjected to this twice. I am

>looking forward to joining a community of people who understand.

>

>

>--

>_________________________________________________________

> on leslie@...

>Loki on loki@...

>Shadow on shadow@...

>Amelia on amelia@...

>Fenris on fenris@...

>

> " He is your friend, your partner, your defender, your dog.

>You are his life, his love, his leader.

>He will be yours, faithful and true, to the last beat of his heart.

>You owe it to him to be worthy of such devotion " -- Unknown

________________________________________________________________________

Get Your Private, Free E-mail from MSN Hotmail at http://www.hotmail.com