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The Hurt of Being Fat

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Yesterday, everything came to a point for me. I want to have this surgery

done as soon as I possibly can. It was parent visitation day at school, and

I had resolved myself to go and make my children feel good because their mom

was attending. Before they left for school, I told them that I would be

coming to school today. My 8 year old daughter got a little bit fidgety.

Then she explained to me that the other children in her class have been

making fun of her because her mom is FAT. Not only does this pain of

ridicule hurt those of us who are obese, but I never thought that I was

actually hurting my family! Imagine being made fun of at school because your

mom is fat. I think I am going to include this in my letter to my insurance

company. " By approving me, not only will you be saving my life and my

dignity, but also the hurt and psychy of my children and family "

E..

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, I am so sorry to hear that. I know the feeling, about being made

fun of. Me and my new hubby went to Cancun this summer. It was terribly hot

that we decided to get some ice cream. Not to say that, that was the first

thing I have eaten in about 4 day because I was so sick. While we are

getting the ice cream. Two adults looked over at me and pointed and laughed.

I threw mine away and just wanted to crawl in a hole somewhere. I was so

embarrassed. I too have had my children friends make fun of me. It really

hurts. My prayers and thoughts are with you. I hope the approval goes well,

I will be thinking of you.

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,

I know exactly how you feel. I have 4 kids and quit going to any school

functions because of kids seeing how big I am. My kids have been teased for

years. Once in a while they would mention something someone said at school

and want to fight them over it. I had to tell them it didn't bother me and

that their love was all I cared about. Truth is, it hurt me because it hurt

them. What I did to help the situation was to have kids over to the house and

show them a great time. I always include myself in things like parties. I am

a pretty well accepted old teen now. I can't tell you how many of the kids

say I am their " favorite Mom. " I did it this way because I wanted to show

them that I am a person with feelings and a personality. It is the only way I

could think of to break the prejudice.

Take cake,

Bonnie

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<< What I did to help the situation was to have kids over to the house and

show them a great time. I always include myself in things like parties. I am

a pretty well accepted old teen now. I can't tell you how many of the kids

say I am their " favorite Mom. " I did it this way because I wanted to show

them that I am a person with feelings and a personality. It is the only way I

could think of to break the prejudice. >>

My hat's off to you, Bonnie! What a great way to meet the problem head on

and come out smelling like a rose! That's truly a win-win solution! Dee in

MI.

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<< making fun of her because her mom is FAT >>

Dear sweet woman: you know how much your daughter loves you. You know that

those other little children learned that behaviour from within their own

families. Knowing those things doesn't stop the pain of hearing such a sad

comment from your daughter. It must have nearly killed her to say it aloud

to you. I bet that you held your head up high, dressed neatly, sailed into

that classroom and WOWED those little children with your beautiful soul and

warm smiles. Once they got a chance to know you and spend some time with

you, how could they ever " see " your daughter's lovely momma any other way

but really nice? Hold your head up, woman; you have every right to breathe

the same air that everyone else does. You are special and you are loved with

an Everlasting Love by our Creator. The world always judges by what it can

see; our Creator judges by what He knows. Have you ever seen the back of a

piece of embroidery or cross-stitch? Looks kinda messy, doesn't it?...like

some of us seem to appear to the outside world. But God doesn't see that

side; He sees the " right side. " The one with no knots, no tangles, no

mistakes. Love and a big hug to you! Dee in MI.

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AMEN!!!!!!!

--- Yarnmama@... wrote:

>

> In a message dated 11/17/99 9:07:49 AM,

> GiftAngels@... writes:

>

> << making fun of her because her mom is FAT >>

>

> Dear sweet woman: you know how much your daughter

> loves you. You know that

> those other little children learned that behaviour

> from within their own

> families. Knowing those things doesn't stop the

> pain of hearing such a sad

> comment from your daughter. It must have nearly

> killed her to say it aloud

> to you. I bet that you held your head up high,

> dressed neatly, sailed into

> that classroom and WOWED those little children with

> your beautiful soul and

> warm smiles. Once they got a chance to know you

> and spend some time with

> you, how could they ever " see " your daughter's

> lovely momma any other way

> but really nice? Hold your head up, woman; you

> have every right to breathe

> the same air that everyone else does. You are

> special and you are loved with

> an Everlasting Love by our Creator. The world

> always judges by what it can

> see; our Creator judges by what He knows. Have you

> ever seen the back of a

> piece of embroidery or cross-stitch? Looks kinda

> messy, doesn't it?...like

> some of us seem to appear to the outside world. But

> God doesn't see that

> side; He sees the " right side. " The one with no

> knots, no tangles, no

> mistakes. Love and a big hug to you! Dee in MI.

>

>

------------------------------------------------------------------------

> This message is from the Mini-Gastric Bypass Mailing

> List at Onelist.com

> Please visit our web site at http://clos.net

>

>

<HR>

<html>

>

=====

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Just FYI. I dealt with the same thing before I had the surgery on 3/10/99.

I have lost 104lbs and now my children (especially the 13 year old) is

dealing with his friends and men thinking his mom is " hot " . I appreciate

the attention since I have been a " nonperson " for so long. However, it is

an issue that may come up with your children as the weight comes off.

Harper

> Re: The Hurt of Being Fat

>

> From: MoShel30@...

>

> E,

> I so understand what you must be feeling right now! I have three children

>

> ages 14, 11, and 7 1/2 and I have been through the same situation on more

> than one occasion with each of them. Bless their hearts, they try so

> hard

> because they don't want to hurt my feelings but it is hard on them because

>

> they know someone is going to make fun of me. They get so defensive of me

>

> and yet I know it has to be humiliating for them. My son, the youngest,

> was

> told by another child in his 2nd grade class that " you have such a fat

> mother " . My son came home and told me about it with tears in his eyes

> because he was so hurt. His response to this rude kid was, " my mom's a

> little fat but she is the most beautiful mom in the world " . How sweet he

> was

> to try in his own way to defend me but it broke his heart. What amazed me

>

> was that I know the rude kid's mom and she is much, much bigger than I am!

>

> It looks like this child would have some knowledge about it and not say

> such

> cruel things but.... he is only a child. I don't suppose that is an

> excuse

> because my children have been taught since birth NOT to make fun of people

>

> for ANY reason, be it weight, color, ability, disability, etc. I have

> always

> told them to please imagine themselves as if they are the other person

> before

> they open their mouths to say anything and that seems to have worked

> because

> now it seems they tend to try to befriend the child that no one else wants

> to

> play with, or try to help a person with difficulties by maybe holding the

> door open for them, etc. It boils down to just basic courtesy and respect

>

> for another human being. I try to teach my children that, I just wish

> everyone would. My children were the three top reasons that I wanted this

>

> surgery. I want them to be proud of me (they say they are anyway!) and I

> want to live to see them grow and prosper and eventually (waaaaay off the

>

> future) maybe be a grandmother!

>

> I did not mean to ramble on so long on this subject but it is one so very

> near to me and I am sure many of you, as we have experienced this so often

>

> and know what discrimination is. So many people do not have a clue!

> Okay, I

> am getting off my soap box but thanks to all for listening.

>

> in AL

> MGB 8/2/99

> 50 lb. gone!!!

>

> > This message is from the Mini-Gastric Bypass Mailing List at Onelist.com

> Please visit our web site at http://clos.net

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