My Mom

[Guest guest]

Lately on the group there has been a discussion about MS and Marriage well I

would like to extend that topic and talk about the relationship between a mother

and daugher-- one that has been so close for 47 years. When I was tentatively

diagnosed with MS in 2006, my mom who was already in her late 60's was

devestated. I had always been her rock so to speak and suddenly everything

changed. Sunday afternoon I found my mom lying on the floor of her bedroom

unconscious. I was terrified that she was gone already, but she was clinging to

life and barely breathing on her own. Dealing with an emergency is always

difficult, but when you are disabled it is even more difficult. The 911 operator

told me to move my mom on her back and I told them I couldn't because I was

disabled. They asked if I was in a wheelchair and I said no, but I don't have

the strength to lift her because I am weak. I felt awful and helpless. They

rushed her to the hospital and she is in the ICU and her breathing is being

assisted by a respirator. All the years of closeness and everything we did

together came flooding back. Things she said-- things we laughed about-- how we

used to love shopping together and going to the movies. I have not been able to

visit her in the hospital when she needs me. I have my brother sitting there

with her and I cried all night last night. I feel like I can't breathe without

her-- we are that close. I have said a lot of prayers -- cried-- read letters

where she calls me " her beautiful daughter " and cried some more. Neighbors are

telling me to be strong, but I don't have the strength I once had because of

this illness. I love her so much.