RE: thank goodness for dh

[Guest guest]

In a message dated 6/23/02 11:06:41 AM Eastern Daylight Time,

vhunnius@... writes:

> I knew there was a reason I keep him around.

He's a rock! Go Mark

G

[Guest guest]

Well, this time I agree with Marc. It would be so hard to sit and watch

do the things he did, but it is a good thing for him. He's a smart

kid. He'll catch on. With your help and Marc's he'll come to understand

that he can't scare the other kids. The rest of the " team " issues will

just take practice. Marc knows that will be put in many situations

throughout his life where he is going to have to act as part of a team.

Sports are really, really good practice for that.

Amy H---in Michigan

Kepler 5 yo ASD, Bethany 6 1/2 NT

_______________________________________________________________

Sign up for FREE iVillage newsletters <http://s.ivillage.com/rd/16705> .

From health and pregnancy to shopping and relationships, iVillage

has the scoop on what matters most to you.

[Guest guest]

Jacquie, that is normal of kids to do that. When was 4 I started him in

soccer and he would get on the field and then run off to play on the playground.

We were always calling him back to the game.

Then when he was 5 he would have to tell me were he was playing and what he was

to do on the field. So really that is normal.

Lori

thank goodness for dh

(even though I mostly still think he's a dick)

started soccer two weeks ago. Yesterday, I went to the practice, having

missed the first one. Marc had reported that had done pretty well during

the first one, practising with his small team just fine and taking direction

from the coach, but when all 60 kids in the league had a just-for-fun game, he

was toast. told me that too, when he got home: " Too many people to play,

mom. Too many people. " Fine, I can totally understand that.

So yesterday morning I went to watch. Again, in small practice he was fine.

Uncoordinated, but fine. He kept running out of the practice to report to me on

what he was doing -- THAT is why I can't observe in his classroom, stay at a

play date, etc. He's more focussed on what he's doing when I'm not there.

THEN they played teams against one another for fun. Three team members on, 3

off, with tag-offs. didn't play first; he was fine with that. " Mom! " he

pronounced grandly, " I am a SUBSTITUTE. " He was tagged into the game, did his

best...but when it came time for him to tag off to another kid he FREAKED.

FREAKED!!!!!!!

Marc dragged him off the pitch and the other kid went on. SULKED. When

they called him back onto the field when it was his turn, he just stood in the

middle of the pitch and refused to move.

The next time he was tagged on, he got the ball, began to dribble it, and

started pushing all these little kids aside, growling, " IT'S

MIIINNNNEEEE!!!!!!!! " He TERRIFIED those children. He's the same age, but

mentally he's a year or so behind, and physically he's the size of a 9-year-old.

I had my hair appointment then, so I left. Gratefully.

Over dinner last night, I said to Marc, " I am really disturbed by what I saw

today. " " At soccer? " he asked. I agreed. Before I had a chance to start

listing off all the awful things, he reached over, took my hand, and said,

" Jacquie. He HAS to do this. We CANNOT quit. He NEEDS social exposure. This

is the best there is. Teamwork is the best there is. "

" Teamwork! " I wailed, " how can you expect him to learn TEAMwork? Think about

the name of the disease! AUTism. Comes from AUTonomous! "

" you've never given up before, " he said, " and you're not giving up now. "

I knew there was a reason I keep him around.

Jacquie

[Guest guest]

.....and he's right, Jacquie...the more he is exposed to HOW to be a team

member, the more he will understand. He may never be a complete team

player, and that's ok...but he does at least need to see what it's like.

Go Marc!

penny :-D

-----Orig

>>>>

Over dinner last night, I said to Marc, " I am really disturbed by what I saw

today. " " At soccer? " he asked. I agreed. Before I had a chance to start

listing off all the awful things, he reached over, took my hand, and said,

" Jacquie. He HAS to do this. We CANNOT quit. He NEEDS social exposure.

This is the best there is. Teamwork is the best there is. "

<<<<

[Guest guest]

Hurray for Marc!

Sue

[Guest guest]

> Over dinner last night, I said to Marc, " I am really disturbed by what I

saw today. " " At soccer? " he asked. I agreed. Before I had a chance to

start listing off all the awful things, he reached over, took my hand, and

said, " Jacquie. He HAS to do this. We CANNOT quit. He NEEDS social

exposure. This is the best there is. Teamwork is the best there is. "

>

You know, Jacquie, you really oughta keep him. I knew he isn't perfect but

he seems to have clue.

Salli

[Guest guest]

>>He recently took 3 separate IQ tests. He scored between 135-140 on each.

Yet if I tell him one week not to take the garbage out, that I'll do it, he

flicks a little switch in his head that says that *I* take the garbage out

now and forever. The routine is changed.<<

Matt is EXACTLY the same way.

Remember the cat box war?

Guess whose job it is to change the cat box now?

However, Matt definitely has vastly greater social skills than I do.

We both have sensory issues. I have more of them, but his few are more

severe.

Was talkimg to Matt's mom, and she told us this story. When they first got

married, Matt's dad, Stan, would come home from work and Matt's mom, ,

would ask him how his day was. He would tell her in excruciating detail

everything he'd done that day.

Finally one day she said, " You know, you could just say, 'Fine, honey, how

was yours?' I don't mean to be rude, but sometimes you get a little

boring. "

Every single day from then on, that is what he's said. He will NOT tell her

any details about what he did that day because he might bore her.

does not know Stan has Aspergers (I don't know for sure about me and

Matt, but Stan DEFINITELY does) so life has been quite difficult for them.

I've sent her a few articles, though, and I think she's starting to get it a

little bit...

-Sara.

[Guest guest]

>>I remember once he got very frustrated because he always said the wrong

thing when I was depressed -- so he asked me to tell him what to say. I

did -- and he wrote it down.

I swear that is true.<<

I believe you.

-Sara.

[Guest guest]

> Every single day from then on, that is what he's said. He will NOT tell

her

> any details about what he did that day because he might bore her.

OMG!!!! Marc would SO do that!!!

I remember once he got very frustrated because he always said the wrong

thing when I was depressed -- so he asked me to tell him what to say. I

did -- and he wrote it down.

I swear that is true.

Jacquie

[Guest guest]

so he asked me to tell him what to say. I

> did -- and he wrote it down.

>

> I swear that is true.

And does he say it when you are depressed?

Salli