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Hi Bob,

I have been feeling the same way lately. I feel like I am trying to find

myself and God Forbid anyone should get in my way. I have been telling

people off lately and have never done that before. My husband is not sure

he is going to like me when I find me. I guess we just have some figuring

out to do. Just didn't want you to feel alone.

Take Care

Mich

Distal Bypass 1994

Start weight 425+

Current weight 250

> Hey gang,

>

> On the Graduate-OSSG list and on our local list (RouxNY) many are writing

> about libido changes and self images. How about other changes in

personality?

> I've noticed (and so has my wife) that I am more short tempered and

impatient

> than I ever was before the surgery. Things get me upset more easily than

> before my WLS (16 months ago). Maybe the fact that I had a near death

> experience with my WLS (ruptured artery, 3 weeks on life support not

expected

> to live, 3 weeks in a nursing home for rehab and 2 months out of work) and

> then another major bleeding episode with my hernia repair and tummy tuck 3

> months ago has something to do with it. Also, losing 220 pounds and

literally

> changing my entire appearance may have something to do with it. I don't

know.

> I am more concerned abut how I feel and perhaps this is just a natural

> self-indulgence that comes with such enormous changes. Sometimes I feel

that

> I am going through another mid-life crisis.

>

> I also have a little short term memory loss from the life support (and

from

> being 55 years old). I get very frustrated and mad when I forget something

or

> have a problem processing something very simple. It is getting better, but

it

> is still frustrating.

>

> I know that I am very impatient and a lot quieter and more serious about

> everything than I was before my surgery. I still have a sense of humor.

I've

> always felt that humor is what got me through all of this. It certainly

> wasn't my love of cats (I just thought I'd throw that in for

> vitalady[] and El).

>

> Seriously, has anyone else experienced such changes?

>

> BobA

>

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In a message dated 02/14/2000 9:41:11 PM Pacific Standard Time,

RAltman813@... writes:

> Seriously, has anyone else experienced such changes?

>

Bob,

or anyone that cares, I used to use food to stuff feelings, of course I

wasn't aware of this until months after surgery. If it had been put to me so

blatantly before my surgery, I would have acknowledged it, but not given it

much weight. Reality is, I am more affectionate, more compassionate, more

considerate, more BITCHY, shorter tempered, less sympathetic to shallow

causes, more forgetful and generally more emotional (good and bad) than I was

when I had food to numb me. But ya know what? I wouldn't trade it for

being fat again any day . . . I can hardly imagine how much that I felt, that

I could have felt that I lived without. My children and my husband and all

my friends love the " forgetful " hug, teary person that I am now . . . And

those were people that knew me before the extra 100 pounds jumped on me!

Vicki in CA

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In a message dated 02/15/2000 5:08:39 PM Pacific Standard Time,

laemax@... writes:

> " weigh down "

> etc. I mean we now have it the obese persons fault that God does not love

> them enough to take away their food obsession. Give me a break! I really

> have to make myself shut up around this kind of talk, because I can really

> go off. Otherwise, I am much less irritable then before, but that was

> because my blood sugar was so high, and that can make you absolutely

BITCHY.

LOL . . . I am no expert on Weight Down or Gwen Shamblien, but I thought

the same thing as you after skimming the book. Last hting I needed was a

weight loss failure tied to my spirituality! Yikes! I had it explained to

me last week that their principal is that non-hunger eating is a signal that

you need more " God. " A person in my 007 group reframed that to mean, more

peace, more introspection, more inner work . . . Now that I can relate to and

live with. I still am doing the 7 secrets and think it is the best, it has

changed my whole relationship with food and I do not DIET . . . that is how I

got FAT!

Vicki in CA

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I do have less patience in some areas, like talk of diets and other

mythology. I am so sick of the " groups " like weight watchers, " weigh down "

etc. I mean we now have it the obese persons fault that God does not love

them enough to take away their food obsession. Give me a break! I really

have to make myself shut up around this kind of talk, because I can really

go off. Otherwise, I am much less irritable then before, but that was

because my blood sugar was so high, and that can make you absolutely BITCHY.

Thanks for the post.. Jan C. 3-11-98 RNY

PErsonality Changes

>From: RAltman813@...

>

>Hey gang,

>

>On the Graduate-OSSG list and on our local list (RouxNY) many are writing

>about libido changes and self images. How about other changes in

personality?

>I've noticed (and so has my wife) that I am more short tempered and

impatient

>than I ever was before the surgery. Things get me upset more easily than

>before my WLS (16 months ago). Maybe the fact that I had a near death

>experience with my WLS (ruptured artery, 3 weeks on life support not

expected

>to live, 3 weeks in a nursing home for rehab and 2 months out of work) and

>then another major bleeding episode with my hernia repair and tummy tuck 3

>months ago has something to do with it. Also, losing 220 pounds and

literally

>changing my entire appearance may have something to do with it. I don't

know.

> I am more concerned abut how I feel and perhaps this is just a natural

>self-indulgence that comes with such enormous changes. Sometimes I feel

that

>I am going through another mid-life crisis.

>

>I also have a little short term memory loss from the life support (and from

>being 55 years old). I get very frustrated and mad when I forget something

or

>have a problem processing something very simple. It is getting better, but

it

>is still frustrating.

>

>I know that I am very impatient and a lot quieter and more serious about

>everything than I was before my surgery. I still have a sense of humor.

I've

>always felt that humor is what got me through all of this. It certainly

>wasn't my love of cats (I just thought I'd throw that in for

>vitalady[] and El).

>

>Seriously, has anyone else experienced such changes?

>

>BobA

>

>---------------------------

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I'll be anxious to hear if anyone else who had a normal (!)

post-op experience notices these changes.

~~~~~~~~

I had a normal post op but I'm not sure I know what 'these

changes' are referring to - maybe I missed the earlier

email......

I know something is up with me, but I'm not sure what to

tell you the truth....

I seem to get really frustrated and overwhelmed at work more

often than before - I suspect that part of it is not having

food to calm the emotions so I'm boiling over and part of it

is the added work of a year long construction project that

took an extra 500 hours of my personal time in UNPAID

OVERTIME. I do seem to speak my mind more on statewide

committees that I am on - not the fat person in the corner

staying quiet so no one notices me. I'm certainly more

confident because I'm doing more agency publicity and

getting out there in the public, meeting and greeting and

networking and all.

But the frustration and overwhelmed feeling is what keeps

coming back to haunt me - I've said it a few times that I

need to get a handle on it cause it will kill me yet. of

course if you've never done grant writing or worked with

victims it is hard to imagine how a client being killed can

impact you or how grant " season " when 8 of your 12 federal

and state grants are all due within 3 weeks can overwhelm

you! anyhow, I'm some different but I just think I'm not

suffocating in flesh or food and the body is moving and the

emotions are coming out.

Sue in Va.

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Hmm. I've been watching this thread and remaining silent. I know, an

impossible task for me. But I was thinking that yes, I suppose that I've

changed, too. I was always a " busy " person, involved in this and that and a

thousand things.

Until I was just too ill to do anything. I'd get up, feed the fleet and go

back to bed.

Now, I think I might be just a TAD less shy & retiring than I was. Except

about WLS. In which case, it's much like uncapping a volcano. It isn't

wise to say anything unkind about any person who is remotely rounded without

having me spring at one's throat.

I am certain that I am more likely to speak my mind (or what's left of it)

than before. People will actually look me in the eye now and give me the

courtesy of their attention. When I was full size, they were just too rude

to even pretend that anyone with such character flaws had anything

intelligent to say.

I never had a very high tolerance for frustration, though, so I can't say

that's gotten any better or worse. And, like Bob, I'd have to say that a

sense of humor AND the ridiculous got me through the heavy part, as well as

the surgery. That, and the love of a good cat, of course.

*** Please reply to me at: vitalady@... ***

Thanks,

www.vitalady.com

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Sog, I appreciated your post. Some of the first post-ops I knew said they

suddenly had to " cope " as they couldn't eat their way out of their problems.

That was eye-opening for me. I hadn't ever thought of it that way before!

Thanks for your honesty!

*** Please reply to me at: vitalady@... ***

Thanks,

www.vitalady.com

PErsonality Changes

>

>

> > From: RAltman813@...

> >

> > Hey gang,

> >

> > On the Graduate-OSSG list and on our local list (RouxNY) many are

writing

> > about libido changes and self images. How about other changes in

personality?

> > I've noticed (and so has my wife) that I am more short tempered and

impatient

> > than I ever was before the surgery. Things get me upset more easily than

> > before my WLS (16 months ago). Maybe the fact that I had a near death

> > experience with my WLS (ruptured artery, 3 weeks on life support not

expected

> > to live, 3 weeks in a nursing home for rehab and 2 months out of work)

and

> > then another major bleeding episode with my hernia repair and tummy tuck

3

> > months ago has something to do with it. Also, losing 220 pounds and

literally

> > changing my entire appearance may have something to do with it. I don't

know.

> > I am more concerned abut how I feel and perhaps this is just a natural

> > self-indulgence that comes with such enormous changes. Sometimes I feel

that

> > I am going through another mid-life crisis.

> >

> > I also have a little short term memory loss from the life support (and

from

> > being 55 years old). I get very frustrated and mad when I forget

something or

> > have a problem processing something very simple. It is getting better,

but it

> > is still frustrating.

> >

> > I know that I am very impatient and a lot quieter and more serious about

> > everything than I was before my surgery. I still have a sense of humor.

I've

> > always felt that humor is what got me through all of this. It certainly

> > wasn't my love of cats (I just thought I'd throw that in for

> > vitalady[] and El).

> >

> > Seriously, has anyone else experienced such changes?

> >

> > BobA

> >

> > ---------------------------

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Carol,

And you know, I think the worse thing about this whole WLS thing is that it

happened and now I must GET OLDER while my body gets better. VERY

frustrating!

*** Please reply to me at: vitalady@... ***

Thanks,

www.vitalady.com

Re: PErsonality Changes

>

>

> Amen Vicki! Amen Bob!

> I used to stuff EVERYTHING with food. Since becoming " liberated " , I am

more sensitive, etc. Mainly because this is who I really am or so I am

discovering. I no longer have to people please and hope that I am liked by

one and all. I stand up for myself now and am quick on the comeback if I

feel that I am being stepped on or treated wrong.

> I guess my husband does think that he is married to an alien. I do hate

the forgetful part. That part makes me angry. I have to arrange things in

my home and office to configure with my brain capacity. It has to be

organized now because if it isn't and I can't find stuff, I panic. When I

panic I become touchy and angry.

> I try not to get down about it because most people at some point

experience some of these changes. I guess it has to do with age and self

esteem. I rather have this than to be the " fat and jolly " person I used to

be who hated to get up in the morning ruled by my food addiction all day.

> Carol

> Richmond, VA

>

>

> ---------------------------

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