Support groups

[Guest guest]

> Does anyone have a good resource for finding local support groups

for

> people with diabetes? I know local hospitals have such groups, but

> is there a " master list " of support groups accross the country.

>

> Any help would be appreciated. Great site, great people.

>

> Mackey

> Institute for Diabetes Law & Policy

> http://www.diabeteslaw.com

Maybe check with American Diabetes Association... they might have

some idea.

[Guest guest]

--- Cheryl in AZ wrote:

> I left another so-called " support " group, because I was told that I obviously

wasn't " in enough pain " to be there since I was able to continue working.

Support groups are supposed to be two-way streets. Those people in that other

group had no right to judge my pain like that, and they lost the support I could

give as a result of their narrow-mindedness.

Cheryl we are so blessed to have you. I don't get to chime in due to working an

exhaustive job who so far has denied about 300.00 for simple accomodations for

me or also to allow me intermittent FMLA to protect my job. No reasons were

given.

I don't have a supportive husband, only my son and a great doctor. But most

often after working full time I can squeeze out 5 hours in a week for cleaning

etc. The rest of the time I am in bed.

Their loss (the other suport group) was truly our gain. I appreciate you and

Bennie so much. Anita is another one that I enjoy following and several more

whose names escape me now. (fibro fog)

Cyrilla in OK

[Guest guest]

Thank you for the nice complement Cyrilla. Have you seen the movie, " Pay It

Forward " ? So much to learned from a child.

Okay, now about your work being a snot yet again. I must have missed a post of

yours somewhere what and when and who is responsible for this? How many

employees are working there? And do you work for a national company that

cherishes their reputation? Can any of your injuries be job related in origin

or contribution to your disabilities?

So very tired of golden parachutes and kicks out the back door differences,

Anita

>

> Cheryl we are so blessed to have you. I don't get to chime in due to working

an exhaustive job who so far has denied about 300.00 for simple accomodations

for me or also to allow me intermittent FMLA to protect my job. No reasons were

given.

>

[Guest guest]

--- Anita wrote:

>

>

> Okay, now about your work being a snot yet again. I must have missed a post

of yours somewhere. What and when and who is responsible for this? How many

employees are working there? And do you work for a national company that

cherishes their reputation? Can any of your injuries be job related in origin

or contribution to your disabilities?

Well I had my second meeting because they have not acknowledged my right to be

granted entrance into the intermitten leave program or my facts sheets I sent

them on employees with fibromyalgia from the ada, nor my request as to what i

needed to bring to the meeting in writing.

I arrived and they were late. I have been under anxiety attacks for weeks due to

their lack of response. They gave me a second poor performance disciplianry

sheet in a month.

I asked them to please just cut to the case. I told them I had lost all

confidence in myself, the stress was making me make more mistakes and it would

only result in another reprimand for failing to meet deadlines that would be

impossible for most people to meet. I didn't speak that last part. i told them

I need my health back and it's going to get worse the longer I was there.

I begged them to lay me off so I could draw unemployment and they said there

were no grounds. duhhhh they just gave me two poor performance reviews. I then

told them I wanted today and all next week off for vacation and healing - which

they granted.

However there are 3 payrolls and the multiude of reports that go with them next

week and no one knows the entire project I haven't had a week off in 9 years.

I almost had a heart attack. They were trying to get me water which I refused

and I almost fell twice trying to get out of the office. They asked if I needed

help getting back to my office. I was begging them to help me heal.

The two things they accused me of I did not do and there is no proof I did them.

However I found another mistake I probably made 12/24/08 while trying to do

three payrolls in three days, come back to another three day workweek and two

payrolls, and then do monthly quarterly, and year end so I could come in Jan 1

and enter 1400 employee changes befpre I could run the Jan payroll, doing to the

HR dept entering them improperly and me having to hand enter them.

The supervisor who told me she found the sight of me irritating,

that I walked around looking like a victim denied stating it. I was hysterical

and apologized and stating that I was sorry that i was failing to live up to

their expectations. I have never felt like such a failure or outcast in my life.

I am humiiated and I have removed all my personal belongings, and I can't face

them again and may have to. I can't get out of bed I am so drugged. I can't call

anyone to help me because I am dirty and sweaty and I can't face anymore

disgrace.

There are so much more they have done than what I can write here. Many many

examples of discrimination due to disabilities. I have to get it together this

weekend and get to the doctor and start looking for income.

Please pray for me.

Cyrilla

Sorry for poor grammer or mistakes. I am so drugged and sick.

[Guest guest]

Cyrilla,

All I can say right now is hang in there, things will get better soon.

Employers like this make my blood boil and I wonder how they manage to get away

with treating an employee like they have you.

Please don't ever not call someone when you need help. Whoever you call for help

is not going to look at the fact that you may may be dirty and sweaty and can't

get out of bed-they will be there to help you in your time of need. If I was

closer to you, I would gladly come over and do what I could to help you out. It

hurts to hear that you are in so much pain right now.

Bobbie

Cyrilla wrote:

> I am humiiated and I have removed all my personal belongings, and I can't face

them again and may have to. I can't get out of bed I am so drugged. I can't call

anyone to help me because I am dirty and sweaty and I can't face anymore

disgrace.

>

[Guest guest]

Dear, dear, Cyrilla,

I'll tell you the same thing I was told just a little while ago.  Don't judge

yourself. You are sick and have a disability and that is not your fault. They

should be thankful that you have been such a good employee.  I mean anyone that

has worked for a company 9 years without ever having a week off should be

commended and not condemned. I for one stand up and applaud you.

I think that most of us here have felt the way you do at one time or another.

There have been several times when I refused to go do things with my family or

church because I hurt way to bad to take a shower and clean myself up.  I hope

nobody thinks I'm gross but I am being honest. There have also been lots of

times that I acted like nobody was home because I was ashamed of how my house

looked. I've even lied to my pastor before when he called and asked if he could

come over and pray with me. I told him that I had another obligation and

wouldn't be home. I didn't have another obligation, I was stinky from not

bathing in a week and another thing was I didn't want him to see that our

laundry was all over the furniture. I would have had to move things over for him

to have even set down.

You see, you are not alone with your pain. I am the type of person who has

always taken great pride in my personal appearance and also in my home. My

children can tell you that before I got sick my house looked like something out

of a magazine.  Everything had it's place and you have better made sure when you

where done with it you put it back in that place.  They could also tell you that

I would shower and put my make-up on before coming out of my bedroom in the

mornings.  I look back at myself now and laugh at how silly that all was.

My children laugh at me now because when my grand babies are at my home I let

them make messes all over the place. I even let them set on their little trays

in front of the TV so they don't miss one minute of Sponge Bob or Hanna Montana.

I would have never let any member of my family eat in the living room.

You see honey, you are not alone. I for one know exactly what it is you are

going through. I know the pain you feel, and I understand your way of thinking. 

Please do me a favor and talk to your doctor about this. Let him know how you

feel, and also how you can't because of the pain, clean your house or even bathe

like you should.  Maybe there is an anti-depressant he can give you.  Once I got

on the right medication I started feeling better about things.  The only thing

is you need to be totally honest with him about everything.  He wont know how to

treat you properly if you don't tell him.

I'm sorry this is so long but I really want you to understand that I know, I

know, I know, and I know. Please talk to me anytime you need to. You can contact

me personally if you want but please don't lay there thinking that no one

understands what it's like.

Prayers & Hugs,

Carol  (OK)>

>

>

Cyrilla wrote:

> The supervisor who told me she found the sight of me irritating,

> that I walked around looking like a victim denied stating it.  I was

hysterical

> and apologized and stating that I was sorry that i was failing to live up to

> their expectations. I have never felt like such a failure or outcast in my

> life. 

>

> I am humiiated and I have removed all my personal belongings, and I can't face

> them again and may have to. I can't get out of bed I am so drugged. I can't

call

> anyone to help me because I am dirty and sweaty and I can't face anymore

> disgrace.

>  Please pray for me.

> Cyrilla

>

[Guest guest]

Cyrilla i basicly went thru the same thing at my job so i feel for you and i

know that feeling of feelin like a peice of crap from someone else's behavior or

attitude. Dont ever feel like that...we are good people jsut that we are sick

honey. Have you thought about going to a pain management dr. Do u have any where

u live?

 

love and peace lorial

Cyrilla wrote: 

>

> I am humiliated and I have removed all my personal belongings, and I can't

face them again and may have to. I can't get out of bed I am so drugged. I can't

call anyone to help me because I am dirty and sweaty and I can't face anymore

disgrace.

[Guest guest]

Oh Sweetygirl, you got them! I am just taking a minute to let you know I am

having to do run by readings of posts. My sister and her family came for Easter

weekend and so my cp time is almost not happening until Monday.

I'll ponder and muster and jot down some ideas for ya.

Anita

>Cyrilla wrote:

> There is so much more they have done than what I can write here. Many many

examples of discrimination due to disabilities. I have to get it together this

weekend and get to the doctor and start looking for income.

[Guest guest]

Thanks as always to lori and Carol and all. Yes I have a pain management doc. I

take percocet, lortabs, diuretics, trazadone xanax and valium and i forget what

else.

I lost everything including friends 10 years ago when they were trying to figure

out what was broke with me, and I was fired. Meds kept making me sicker and

fatter and agoraphobic. I built myself back up from nothing to 10 to 12 dollars

and finally 40000.- I live in a slum area and continue to struggle with house

repairs.

I always make too much money, so anxiety runs high when I think about not

working and no insurance. My son lives with me/ He is 40 and has sacrificed his

life to help me with 3/4 acre, two dogs that are my love and too big for me to

handle anymore and even cleaning, laundry and grocery shopping. I am not

capable of doing anything after living in hell 40 hours a week.

We eat frozen foods all day. I am afraid and he can't make enough to pay the

bill and my meds, etc. and house payment. I can't imagine being homeless and

cold and in pain.

I feel helpless and hopeless, i need to make a doc appointment for next week to

get the HR documents filled out as they don't consider that it is obvious I am

disabled.

I need to hire an attorney for employment law. And I need to start looking. But

first I have to get my head screwed back on. I tried driving in neutral today

and that did not work. I am a planner and i can't even think straight. If I die

this week at least my son has my life insurance.

Cyrilla in OK

[Guest guest]

Cyrilla,

I really do feel for all you are going through right now. I have many of the

same emotions as you do. As a matter of fact, I am having to come to terms with

the fact that I will be the primary bread winner after I graduate & get my

newest career started. I will only be making half of what my husband use to make

so we won't be able to live at the level that we did. It's alright though

because I know it will only be temporary.

Can you also hire a disability lawyer that may be able to help with the

noncompliance with ADA? That might be more help than just a lawyer that deals

with employee rights. I will pray that you find a lawyer that can take care of

all your needs instead of needing more than one.

Please try to find away to reduce your worries so that your pain won't intensify

more. Is your life insurance a policy that you could cash in & start a different

policy afterwards? If you were able to do that & the money would benefit you in

a helpful way, maybe it would reduce a little stress. Please think of better

alternatives than of your life being more beneficial to your son. You're still

needed!

Lori in Texas

Cyrilla wrote:

>

>

> I am afraid.....I can't imagine being homeless and cold and in pain.

>

> I feel helpless and hopeless......I need to hire an attorney for employment

law. If I die this week at least my son has my life insurance.

> Cyrilla in OK

>

[Guest guest]

mscyrilla wrote

> Their loss (the other support group) was truly our gain. I

> appreciate you and Bennie so much. Anita is another one that I enjoy

> following and several more whose names escape me now. (fibro fog)

> Cyrilla in OK

>

>

Cryilla,

Please find out who your local FMLA representative is because they

might be able to advocate and you will not be dealing with your job,

they will.

Also, contact the EEOC, equal employer opportunity officer by typing

both of these subjects in for your area and a persons name and contact

will be listed and tell them you story to assist you.

I was thankful enough to have a member of this group, Jen Zeigler ,

who wrote me every two days personally making sure i was okay and

walking me through how to make sure I was protected and got the right

paperwork in. I only hope I can assist the same. There are so many

members of this group that offer such good advice, I could never list

them all and every post I read I learn something. Even when we are

off topic, we learn the greatest thing, caring for others and

encouraging them, helps in the chronic pain journey.

The moderators do a fantastic job of making sure posts are written

effectively, fair, and don't misuse alot a lot (I love you Lyndi !).

I have met so many interesting people with varied background when we

do off -topics ( We need more of these) and when I learn how to

transfer pictures to the group site, I will post my fur friends .

wrote a personal e-mail to me for my husband to read as he had the

brain surgery my husband will have to have and he did well.

The simple e-,mail assured my husband so much rather than internet

reports. It is interesting to realize the impact of something we

might post that will help someone to be better. I appreciate that

aspect so much as I am always worried that I might offend someone and

want to write something positive but know when you are hurting so bad,

you don't want someone saying everything will be okay,as it is hard to

realize that when in such in intense pain.

This group is very empathic and provides appropriate resources. We are

truly thankful for this group. I hope a good trip for Cheryl and

fantastic co- workers and I know that the Midwest has strong unions so

I hope your rights are protected, Cheryl. Let us know how your trip

goes. Bennie

[Guest guest]

After having fuss after fuss with EEOC here in the south as the job Steward, I

found out you have to dot every I and etc. They will let you know right away we

(the union) have no power over them.

So try to stay on good terms with the if you can. It will pay off for you before

long

Ron ronpat0471@...

mscyrilla wrote

> Their loss (the other support group) was truly our

> gain.  I appreciate you and Bennie so much.

[Guest guest]

Cyrilla wrote:

> I am humiliated and I have removed all my personal belongings, and

> I can't face them again and may have to. I can't get out of bed I

> am so drugged. I can't call anyone to help me because I am dirty

> and sweaty and I can't face anymore disgrace.

Cyrilla,

I read what you wrote and I just wanted you to know, I have been

there. I was a creature of habit, bath, groom, every time every day.

When you don't feel well, you can.t.

I found having baby wipes, face wipes, and everything close to my bed

allows me to just wet bathe right in bed. It is okay not to feel well

and drugged but you must keep hydrated and good food in you. Keep

fruits at your bedside so it is close and I have my PIs dose and just

like to think of it as a hospital stay.

I hope you get to feeling better and there are agencies in my area

that are volunteers that come out and assist free and meals for wheels

deliver.

No one every died of being dirty and sweaty but I want you to be

healthy. Just think of the pioneers, how often do you think they got

to bathe ?

It is okay to have people assist you, please let us know how you are

doing. Thinking of you and hoping the best. Bennie.

* My dogs lick anything I spill when I eat in bed so they make sure I

am " cleaned up " . I would have never imagined myself in this place.