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(((Katrina))). I've felt this way before but never acted upon it. In high

school, I tried to think of the perfect way to commit suicide. In college, I

once slipped into a month long major depression funk. Suicide was on my mind

constantly. Medication really helps. I only think about it occassionally now

that I've started zoloft. Good luck and take care of yourself, your kids need

you and we need you.

Janae

, 9, ADD

Jake, 6, autism

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{{{{{Katrina}}}}}

I'm so sorry you're going through this.

You have people there with you now, right?

>>Has anyone else ever felt this badly?

I have not been actively suicidal for a very long time, and I was never as

bad as you sound now. I have been suicidal in the fairly recent past

(within the last year) but recognized it early & sought treatment before I

got very bad. I was only able to do that because of my husband's clinical

depression -- I've gotten good at looking for and recognizing the signs.

I know that you are in an incredibly difficult situation and I can see how

it could get to that point. I know it has happened to others on this list.

I am very very glad to hear you are alive and have not caused yourself

serious physical harm, and I am also very very glad that you are getting

help.

You and yours will be in my prayers.

Please let us know how you're doing, when you can.

Love,

-Sara.

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(((((((Katrina)))))))

Please try to remember that you are not alone! Whenever you need to vent or

feel like hurting yourself, contact the site, talk to your hubby, hug your

kids, or call the hotline again!

I hope the coucelors can help you to feel good about yourself again.

Remember, you are the most important person in the world to your children,

even when you're not feeling well.

Take care,

Sue

-------------------------------------------

Introducing NetZero Long Distance

Unlimited Long Distance only $29.95/ month!

Sign Up Today! www.netzerolongdistance.com

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Katrina...

You are NOT alone.

PLEASE! Get to the counseling as quick as you can tomorrow. I KNOW how bad

you feel...It's an unbearable feeling. You need to get with a counselor who

will work through your issues and help you understand what's making you feel

this way.

Please do not do anything to harm yourself...As much as you feel it's the

best way to alleviate the pain, BELIEVE ME, there IS help, and you can work

through these feelings.

Best of luck to you...please keep talking here so we know you are ok.

Penny

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OMG!! I am sooo glad that you are ok....relatively

speaking anyway.

Is there any way you can have someone stay with you?

I am so glad you and your husband realized that you

need more help.

How are your kids doing with all this going on?

I am sorry that I can't be of more help other than to

listen. But just know that we are here for you and

you can write about how you are feeling at any time.

Please take care of yourself. Please try to hang in

there. I really hope the counselling helps. And if

you honestly feel like doing yourself harm....please

go to the hospital or doctor's office or whatever and

tell them it is an emergency.

Stay safe.

Tamara

--- Katrina Moody wrote:

> Maybe a few of you remember my post a couple of

> weeks ago about panic attacks? Well they got worse

> and I got worse and everything spiraled into

> oblivion. I got more and more depressed, and more

> and more unable to cope with the panic attacks. I

> decided last Wednesday that I had suddenly had

> enough.

>

> I called my sister in law and she came over to help

> me out with the kids because I was so stressed. But

> once she got here, instead of feeling a little bit

> better, I felt worse. A lot worse. I felt so bad I

> decided that my husband and everyone else could take

> care of my boys better than I could. And I went into

> the bathroom and downed pill after pill of Adavan.

> Had I known that I wasn't taking enough I am sure at

> that time I would have found something else to go

> along with it, because I really thought I should

> die.

>

> I didn't take enough to cause serious complications

> --- just got a night in the hospital and went home

> tired and wore out. I saw a counselor right away.

> But somehow over the course of the weekend I kept

> wanting to kill myself more and more. I tried

> several more times over the course of the weekend -

> so my husband and I decided that I needed more help

> and we called my doctor and then went to the stress

> center. I ended up feeling better after my four day

> stay there.

>

> My intensive outpatient therapy starts tomorrow, but

> in the meantime I am feeling so stressed out right

> now. I tried to cut myself with a razor - which was

> dull of course so I only ended up with a few

> scratches. I called the crisis line and talked with

> someone there and she said I needed to have someone

> with me at all times until my appointment tomorrow m

> orning...and if I try to do anything else I have to

> go back to the stress center.

>

> Has anyone else ever felt this badly?

>

> I really need a shoulder right now - I feel alone

> even with family around me.

>

> KatrinaGet more from the Web. FREE MSN Explorer

> download : http://explorer.msn.com

>

>

> [Non-text portions of this message have been

> removed]

>

>

=====

Tamara

mom to :

Ebony, 4 yrs -- asd, ADHD, bi-polar

, 1 year

wife to:

Terry, love of my life

__________________________________________________

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In a message dated 8/26/02 1:00:08 PM Pacific Daylight Time,

tloggie@... writes:

<< I don't understand

and I am to embarassed to ask what they are talking about so I don't reply

to a lot of topics because I don't understand a lot of them.

I am not an educated person and I feel that I don't know enough to help my

son and daughter. >>

Lori,

Don't feel embarrassed about not understanding something. It's alright, we

are all struggling with various issues. It's just part of life. Ok?

(((((Lori)))))

You know enough to realize there is a lot more you need to know to help your

kiddos and that is a lot more than most people ever get to!

Hang in there!

love,

kandie

Kandie and (9 years)

* 's website: <A

HREF= " http://kidsactivities.homestead.com/spage.html " >spage</A>

*

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((((Lori and Katrina))))

Lori,

If want to know something, just ask. Nobody will look down on you here. How

do you think we learned? We asked! If we didn't like the first answer, we

asked again. If you need to know something -- anything at all -- anybody

here will be more than happy to help.

That's what we're here for -- to help each other.

Nobody here knew squat about autism until we started asking. Believe me.

Sissi

Kids' Page

http://www.isoa.net/~nitetrax/dillon.htm

Boone's Art

http://www.isoa.net/~nitetrax/bart.htm

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Katrina, I know exactly how you are feeling. I have been going though the

same thing. I have thought about ended my life a couple of times but I have

no one to ture to. I am seperated from my husband and have been for over a

year now. I have no family members that I can even call. I do have a few

friends but I would not call them for help like this. That is why I do feel

like some times I am forgotten when I don't hear from people on this group.

Don't get me wrong this is a great group and they help us though everything.

I just feel like I am lost when they talk about things I don't understand

and I am to embarassed to ask what they are talking about so I don't reply

to a lot of topics because I don't understand a lot of them.

I am not an educated person and I feel that I don't know enough to help my

son and daughter. So I spend my time reading all the posts but I don't know

how to reply to them. Then I get down because I am not has smart has the

other people on this list and I also have a hard time reading articles they

send because I have dexlesia. Which makes me feel like more of a looser for

my kids.

Sorry of running on but now that everyone know because only now it

before.

Lori

>

> --- Katrina Moody wrote:

> > Maybe a few of you remember my post a couple of

> > weeks ago about panic attacks? Well they got worse

> > and I got worse and everything spiraled into

> > oblivion. I got more and more depressed, and more

> > and more unable to cope with the panic attacks. I

> > decided last Wednesday that I had suddenly had

> > enough.

> >

> > I called my sister in law and she came over to help

> > me out with the kids because I was so stressed. But

> > once she got here, instead of feeling a little bit

> > better, I felt worse. A lot worse. I felt so bad I

> > decided that my husband and everyone else could take

> > care of my boys better than I could. And I went into

> > the bathroom and downed pill after pill of Adavan.

> > Had I known that I wasn't taking enough I am sure at

> > that time I would have found something else to go

> > along with it, because I really thought I should

> > die.

> >

> > I didn't take enough to cause serious complications

> > --- just got a night in the hospital and went home

> > tired and wore out. I saw a counselor right away.

> > But somehow over the course of the weekend I kept

> > wanting to kill myself more and more. I tried

> > several more times over the course of the weekend -

> > so my husband and I decided that I needed more help

> > and we called my doctor and then went to the stress

> > center. I ended up feeling better after my four day

> > stay there.

> >

> > My intensive outpatient therapy starts tomorrow, but

> > in the meantime I am feeling so stressed out right

> > now. I tried to cut myself with a razor - which was

> > dull of course so I only ended up with a few

> > scratches. I called the crisis line and talked with

> > someone there and she said I needed to have someone

> > with me at all times until my appointment tomorrow m

> > orning...and if I try to do anything else I have to

> > go back to the stress center.

> >

> > Has anyone else ever felt this badly?

> >

> > I really need a shoulder right now - I feel alone

> > even with family around me.

> >

> > KatrinaGet more from the Web. FREE MSN Explorer

> > download : http://explorer.msn.com

> >

> >

> > [Non-text portions of this message have been

> > removed]

> >

> >

>

>

> =====

> Tamara

> mom to :

> Ebony, 4 yrs -- asd, ADHD, bi-polar

> , 1 year

> wife to:

> Terry, love of my life

>

> __________________________________________________

>

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(((((LORI)))))

Please Lori ,NEVER feel that you are not as smart as others on this list. WE are

all learning about our kids all the time. Only reading posts is not a crime. If

it helps you with the kids and your life then that is a good thing.If you ever

wnat to chat my yahoo and msn ids are alibalw

Take care

Ali

Lori Loggie wrote:

Katrina, I know exactly how you are feeling. I have been going though the

same thing. I have thought about ended my life a couple of times but I have

no one to ture to. I am seperated from my husband and have been for over a

year now. I have no family members that I can even call. I do have a few

friends but I would not call them for help like this. That is why I do feel

like some times I am forgotten when I don't hear from people on this group.

Don't get me wrong this is a great group and they help us though everything.

I just feel like I am lost when they talk about things I don't understand

and I am to embarassed to ask what they are talking about so I don't reply

to a lot of topics because I don't understand a lot of them.

I am not an educated person and I feel that I don't know enough to help my

son and daughter. So I spend my time reading all the posts but I don't know

how to reply to them. Then I get down because I am not has smart has the

other people on this list and I also have a hard time reading articles they

send because I have dexlesia. Which makes me feel like more of a looser for

my kids.

Sorry of running on but now that everyone know because only now it

before.

Lori

>

> --- Katrina Moody wrote:

> > Maybe a few of you remember my post a couple of

> > weeks ago about panic attacks? Well they got worse

> > and I got worse and everything spiraled into

> > oblivion. I got more and more depressed, and more

> > and more unable to cope with the panic attacks. I

> > decided last Wednesday that I had suddenly had

> > enough.

> >

> > I called my sister in law and she came over to help

> > me out with the kids because I was so stressed. But

> > once she got here, instead of feeling a little bit

> > better, I felt worse. A lot worse. I felt so bad I

> > decided that my husband and everyone else could take

> > care of my boys better than I could. And I went into

> > the bathroom and downed pill after pill of Adavan.

> > Had I known that I wasn't taking enough I am sure at

> > that time I would have found something else to go

> > along with it, because I really thought I should

> > die.

> >

> > I didn't take enough to cause serious complications

> > --- just got a night in the hospital and went home

> > tired and wore out. I saw a counselor right away.

> > But somehow over the course of the weekend I kept

> > wanting to kill myself more and more. I tried

> > several more times over the course of the weekend -

> > so my husband and I decided that I needed more help

> > and we called my doctor and then went to the stress

> > center. I ended up feeling better after my four day

> > stay there.

> >

> > My intensive outpatient therapy starts tomorrow, but

> > in the meantime I am feeling so stressed out right

> > now. I tried to cut myself with a razor - which was

> > dull of course so I only ended up with a few

> > scratches. I called the crisis line and talked with

> > someone there and she said I needed to have someone

> > with me at all times until my appointment tomorrow m

> > orning...and if I try to do anything else I have to

> > go back to the stress center.

> >

> > Has anyone else ever felt this badly?

> >

> > I really need a shoulder right now - I feel alone

> > even with family around me.

> >

> > KatrinaGet more from the Web. FREE MSN Explorer

> > download : http://explorer.msn.com

> >

> >

> > [Non-text portions of this message have been

> > removed]

> >

> >

>

>

> =====

> Tamara

> mom to :

> Ebony, 4 yrs -- asd, ADHD, bi-polar

> , 1 year

> wife to:

> Terry, love of my life

>

> __________________________________________________

>

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Sissi

I know that we can ask question, and I also know that everyone on the list

know nothing about Autism until it took over they lives, the thing is you

and most of the other people on this list have read so many books and now

how to talk to their doctors about this. Me I have never read one book on it

and I have a really hard time understanding what the doctors are saying.

I don't know how to do an IEP and the rules are different here. I don't

know how to fight for things that needs because I don't know how to do

a proper IEP.

Jacquie if you have any imput on this for my and the rules and regulation in

ON I would appreciate your imput on this.

I just feel so lost this time of year that it scares the shit out of me to

go into an IEP meeting and not knowing what I really want for . Now I

have to have one for my daughter in a week and I have no idea what she

really needs.

Lori

Re: I am such a mess

> ((((Lori and Katrina))))

>

> Lori,

>

> If want to know something, just ask. Nobody will look down on you here.

How

> do you think we learned? We asked! If we didn't like the first answer, we

> asked again. If you need to know something -- anything at all -- anybody

> here will be more than happy to help.

>

> That's what we're here for -- to help each other.

>

> Nobody here knew squat about autism until we started asking. Believe me.

>

> Sissi

>

> Kids' Page

> http://www.isoa.net/~nitetrax/dillon.htm

>

> Boone's Art

> http://www.isoa.net/~nitetrax/bart.htm

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

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Ditto!!!!!

The fact that you are even ON this list shows that you know how to help your

kids...! You are out there getting information!!

Please...don't ever feel embarassed or ashamed!!!!

Penny

Re: I am such a mess

In a message dated 8/26/02 1:00:08 PM Pacific Daylight Time,

tloggie@... writes:

<< I don't understand

and I am to embarassed to ask what they are talking about so I don't reply

to a lot of topics because I don't understand a lot of them.

I am not an educated person and I feel that I don't know enough to help my

son and daughter. >>

Lori,

Don't feel embarrassed about not understanding something. It's alright, we

are all struggling with various issues. It's just part of life. Ok?

(((((Lori)))))

You know enough to realize there is a lot more you need to know to help your

kiddos and that is a lot more than most people ever get to!

Hang in there!

love,

kandie

Kandie and (9 years)

* 's website: <A

HREF= " http://kidsactivities.homestead.com/spage.html " >spage</A

>

*

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Lori, being educated has nothing to do with being a good parent. You're there

for your kids, you love them. That's more than I can say for some educated

people that I know.

Don't worry about your dyslexia. We all understand about learning disorders.

You're doing great, just be you. And if you need help with something, ask.

None of us, individually, know everything. Together we're quite a store of

knowledge.

I don't read the articles either. I love to read but I can't read all the books

on autism that the others have read. I've tried, but I have the hardest time

reading nonfiction. My mind wanders and I read the same thing over and over.

We're here for you, Lori.

Janae

, 9, ADD

Jake, 6, autism

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Lori,

I see Jacquie sent you some links. :)

All of us are filled with anxiety when it comes to an IEP. We want our kids

to get the best possible services that will do them the most good.

The reality of the situation is, you'll get what they want to give in most

cases, unless you can afford a lawyer and they're really not meeting the

child's needs. I remember asking the same questions about IEPs as if some

kind soul could tell me exactly what my child needed without having met him.

These kids are so different in so many ways.

I'll tell you what. Tell us about 's evaluations. We all do that here

all the time.

Where is he behind? What are his strengths? Verbal or nonverbal? Maybe the

group can come up with some useful suggestions??

Sissi

Kids' Page

http://www.isoa.net/~nitetrax/dillon.htm

Boone's Art

http://www.isoa.net/~nitetrax/bart.htm

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>

> I just feel like I am lost when they talk about things I don't

understand

> and I am to embarassed to ask what they are talking about so I

don't reply

> to a lot of topics because I don't understand a lot of them. >>

Lori,

Anytime you don't understand something, for heaven's sake...ask! I

can't imagine that there is one soul on this list who would think

anything negative about it...I'm on a couple of lists where I don't

know squat about what they are discussing 90% of the time (I stay on

because I want to understand the research going on...and I do get

something here and there)...I just remind myself that I have both

strengths and weaknesses---chemistry, for example, is one of my

weaknesses...and I forget about it. We have to forgive ourselves for

not being everything we wish we were...so that it doesn't get in the

way of our being happy.

Don't forget, this living with autism stuff is uncharted territory

for all of us...and we are all spending a lot of time thrashing about

trying to figure it out---even those of us who DO read the books.

Fact is, most of the " experts " on autism are still lost.

That is, in fact, what you find out by reading all the stuff...that

NO one knows; people are making their best guesses and going from

there.

> I am not an educated person and I feel that I don't know enough to

help my

> son and daughter. So I spend my time reading all the posts but I

don't know

> how to reply to them. Then I get down because I am not has smart

has the

> other people on this list and I also have a hard time reading

articles they

> send because I have dexlesia. Which makes me feel like more of a

looser for my kids.>

I hate that you feel that way, Lori. I have a brother who is

dyslexic, and I remember him struggling with feelings of being

inadequate, because he could never do well at school (he had a

teacher in first grade who knew nothing about learning differences--

turned him against school forever)...but Lori, he is one of the most

competent people I know, and he is also one of the nicest, having

gone through life thinking that because he had a different learning

style, there was something wrong with him...it taught him to cope

with life in a way that most people don't have to.

As far as not knowing how to help your kids...it's not as hard as all

the literature/talk makes it sound. You know your children better

than anyone else. So you watch them, you see what makes life easier

or harder for them...and you note it for future reference. Over

time, it starts to show you a pattern...sounds are a problem, or

touch...whatever. You take those bits of information, and make

changes in the home or classroom that will help them cope better.

In the IEP meeting, you say, " I've seen that noise is a real

distractor...how are we going to arrange the school day so that this

is less of a problem? " and expect them to do it...because it is the

law. If they don't, you get an advocate and help them understand

that they are expected to provide your child with an appropriate

learning atmosphere and the necessary support to succeed. (I'm

assuming that Canada has similar laws regarding children with

disabilities...).

If they read reports that make no sense to you...you ask them to

clarify--and keep asking until you are comfortable that you know what

is going on. It is *their job* to present the information in a

manner that is understandable, so if they start spouting a lot of

terms that you aren't clear on, SAY SO...a professional who can't

speak English is fairly useless.

At ' last IEP, the OT brought in a lengthy computer summary of

a sensory profile she had done, and I was SO CONFUSED....it took us

several go rounds to get things straight in my mind---and then, when

I got it home and looked at it again, I went online to the OTpeds

list and asked a couple more questions. Never think that everyone

else knows everything. I have a PT license and 20 yrs of experience

in pediatrics...and I was lost as a goose with that new eval.

The bottom line on the whole thing is this: People with autism don't

see things the way we do...they don't feel things (as in touch) the

way we do...they don't hear or taste or smell things the way we

do...and that makes life confusing and frightening for them. It

makes learning language difficult, because language is based, to a

great extent, in being able to interpret the world. Our main job is

to help them sort through the confusion and deal with the fear,

anger, and stress. If you are giving your kids a safe, loving

environment, you are already doing most of what they need. And I

would submit that if you have learning challenges of your own, that's

actually a great advantage, because you have first hand knowledge of

how it feels to go through life experiencing things in a manner that

is different from those around you...use that to help you in

understanding what your kids need.

AND, you can always come on here and *ask* (please!) if something is

confusing you...that's what the rest of us do!

Raena

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Thanks Janae, I know this group is a great group and has always been her for

me. I just keep getting down on myself and I know that does not help but I

can not stop being so hard on myself.

Lori

Re: I am such a mess

> Lori, being educated has nothing to do with being a good parent. You're

there for your kids, you love them. That's more than I can say for some

educated people that I know.

>

> Don't worry about your dyslexia. We all understand about learning

disorders. You're doing great, just be you. And if you need help with

something, ask. None of us, individually, know everything. Together we're

quite a store of knowledge.

>

> I don't read the articles either. I love to read but I can't read all the

books on autism that the others have read. I've tried, but I have the

hardest time reading nonfiction. My mind wanders and I read the same thing

over and over.

>

> We're here for you, Lori.

>

> Janae

> , 9, ADD

> Jake, 6, autism

>

>

>

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OK, this is what the school has down for his strengths.

is happy at school

enjoys solitary activities

follows directions with assistance

developing some independence in daily living skills

easily adapt to classroom routines and transitions

enjoys being physically active

Needs

to increase functional numeracy skills no idea what this means

to increase functional literacy skills again I have no idea

to improve fine motor skills

to continue to acquire social skills

to improve daily living skills

is nonverbal at home but the school says he talks to them there

I really don't like saying this but I am going to say it to the group.

My feelings on .

I don't think that he should be at school. To me he needs a one-on-one

worker who can help him learn the basics of life----like how to take a bath

on his own, how to eat by himself, how to ask for things he wants with out

screaming, how to get dressed and use the toilet, how to due up a coat and

running shoes, how to brush his teeth, I have been trying to teach him this

for 10 years and he is not getting it. Yes he does pee on the toilet but he

does not eat by himself useless I stand over him and tell him to jab with

his fork or push the spoon in to the potatoes.

Two years ago I tried something with . I put him in his room with all

the food that he likes and that we were having for supper. Guess what

happened....he never touched anything and he was in there for 1 hour while

we had our supper. I went in to check on him and nothing was touched. So I

brought him out and warmed up his supper and feed him. He does not touch any

food of any kind unless I stand over him and tell him to eat.

This is a problem I am having at school, they say they don't have the time

or the right to make him eat.

is I think very good at math has long has he has his counters.

he is just starting to recognize words but only like 3

he likes doing puzzles, but he hates any thing to with writing or coloring.

He does not like to hold a pencil.

He can not peddle a bike and he is not that good at running. He has no

muscle strength in his body. He is a bone rack, looks like a tooth pick.

I hope this helps. Please everyone that can help me I need to get one ready

for school on Tuesday for his first day.

I am going to a meeting tonight but I will be home around 9:30.

Lori

Re: I am such a mess

> Lori,

>

> I see Jacquie sent you some links. :)

>

> All of us are filled with anxiety when it comes to an IEP. We want our

kids

> to get the best possible services that will do them the most good.

>

> The reality of the situation is, you'll get what they want to give in most

> cases, unless you can afford a lawyer and they're really not meeting the

> child's needs. I remember asking the same questions about IEPs as if some

> kind soul could tell me exactly what my child needed without having met

him.

> These kids are so different in so many ways.

>

> I'll tell you what. Tell us about 's evaluations. We all do that here

> all the time.

>

> Where is he behind? What are his strengths? Verbal or nonverbal? Maybe the

> group can come up with some useful suggestions??

>

> Sissi

>

> Kids' Page

> http://www.isoa.net/~nitetrax/dillon.htm

>

> Boone's Art

> http://www.isoa.net/~nitetrax/bart.htm

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

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I think your concerns for sound right on target for what he

needs. What type of program are they using at his school teach him? I

sometimes have the same problem when it comes to Alec's schooling. I

call it " real world skill " . He needs to know how to do basic daily

life things rather than matching and such. Or rather I think he needs

both but mainly the real world skills.

Jacquie H

> OK, this is what the school has down for his strengths.

> is happy at school

> enjoys solitary activities

> follows directions with assistance

> developing some independence in daily living skills

> easily adapt to classroom routines and transitions

> enjoys being physically active

>

> Needs

> to increase functional numeracy skills no idea what this means

> to increase functional literacy skills again I have no idea

> to improve fine motor skills

> to continue to acquire social skills

> to improve daily living skills

>

> is nonverbal at home but the school says he talks to them there

>

> I really don't like saying this but I am going to say it to the

group.

> My feelings on .

> I don't think that he should be at school. To me he needs a one-on-

one

> worker who can help him learn the basics of life----like how to

take a bath

> on his own, how to eat by himself, how to ask for things he wants

with out

> screaming, how to get dressed and use the toilet, how to due up a

coat and

> running shoes, how to brush his teeth, I have been trying to teach

him this

> for 10 years and he is not getting it. Yes he does pee on the

toilet but he

> does not eat by himself useless I stand over him and tell him to

jab with

> his fork or push the spoon in to the potatoes.

> Two years ago I tried something with . I put him in his room

with all

> the food that he likes and that we were having for supper. Guess

what

> happened....he never touched anything and he was in there for 1

hour while

> we had our supper. I went in to check on him and nothing was

touched. So I

> brought him out and warmed up his supper and feed him. He does not

touch any

> food of any kind unless I stand over him and tell him to eat.

> This is a problem I am having at school, they say they don't have

the time

> or the right to make him eat.

> is I think very good at math has long has he has his counters.

> he is just starting to recognize words but only like 3

> he likes doing puzzles, but he hates any thing to with writing or

coloring.

> He does not like to hold a pencil.

> He can not peddle a bike and he is not that good at running. He has

no

> muscle strength in his body. He is a bone rack, looks like a tooth

pick.

>

> I hope this helps. Please everyone that can help me I need to get

one ready

> for school on Tuesday for his first day.

> I am going to a meeting tonight but I will be home around 9:30.

>

> Lori

>

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>>>>>

OK, this is what the school has down for his strengths.

is happy at school: GOOD! I would ask them to give you examples of why

they think that way.

enjoys solitary activities: Typical. He would probably benefit from a

" Circle of Friends " progam or social group/

follows directions with assistance: Yeah!

developing some independence in daily living skills: What does this mean??

Ask for specifics

easily adapt to classroom routines and transitions: Yeah!

enjoys being physically active: Yeah!

Needs

to increase functional numeracy skills no idea what this means: Sounds like

Math skills to me.

to increase functional literacy skills again I have no idea: Sounds like

reading/writing/language arts.

to improve fine motor skills: This is something an Occupational Therapist

should work on.

to continue to acquire social skills: Again, a peer group or social group

would be good. Ask about it!

to improve daily living skills: An OT can help here, too

>>>>

is nonverbal at home but the school says he talks to them there

<<<<<

What does that mean? I would ask them how they are accomplishing this.

Have them give you tips for home.

>>>>>>>

I don't think that he should be at school. To me he needs a one-on-one

worker who can help him learn the basics of life----like how to take a bath

on his own, how to eat by himself, how to ask for things he wants with out

screaming, how to get dressed and use the toilet, how to due up a coat and

running shoes, how to brush his teeth, I have been trying to teach him this

for 10 years and he is not getting it. Yes he does pee on the toilet but he

does not eat by himself useless I stand over him and tell him to jab with

his fork or push the spoon in to the potatoes.

<<<<<<<<

A lot of these items you can have the school's OT work on with him. (Do they

provide Occupational Therapy?)... Some of these issues are part of his

school day, and therefore should be worked on.

>>>>>>>>

Two years ago I tried something with . I put him in his room with all

the food that he likes and that we were having for supper. Guess what

happened....he never touched anything and he was in there for 1 hour while

we had our supper. I went in to check on him and nothing was touched. So I

brought him out and warmed up his supper and feed him. He does not touch any

food of any kind unless I stand over him and tell him to eat.

This is a problem I am having at school, they say they don't have the time

or the right to make him eat.

<<<<<<<<<

Do you think this is a sensory thing? or a motor planning issue (not able

to use a fork) sort of thing? or both?

>>>>>>>

is I think very good at math has long has he has his counters.

he is just starting to recognize words but only like 3

he likes doing puzzles, but he hates any thing to with writing or coloring.

He does not like to hold a pencil.

He can not peddle a bike and he is not that good at running. He has no

muscle strength in his body. He is a bone rack, looks like a tooth pick.

<<<<<<<

What about Adaptive PE? If that's available in Canada, he should qualify

for it.

Same for Physical Therapy, I would assume.

BTW....print your message out if you can. Bring it to your meeting.

Hopefully someone will give you some constructive advice.

Good Luck!

Penny

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> OK, this is what the school has down for his strengths.

> is happy at school

> enjoys solitary activities

> follows directions with assistance

> developing some independence in daily living skills

> easily adapt to classroom routines and transitions

> enjoys being physically active

He sounds a lot like Boone in his strengths.

>

> Needs

> to increase functional numeracy skills no idea what this means

> to increase functional literacy skills again I have no idea

He needs to identify numbers and letters. Flash cards are a great way to

start. Try saying them to him and giving a treat (an M & M or something) when

he gets them right.

> to improve fine motor skills

This is an occupational therapy issue. He will need for the school to

provide this. You can also seek OT sefices in the communtiy. Does your

insurance cover this?

> to continue to acquire social skills

> to improve daily living skills

They can certainly help with this.

The IEP should outline spcific goals to acquire these skills. It should say

" will interact ina socailly appropriate manner (in specific situations)

8 out of 10 times.

There should be numerous goals which will promote social interaction. He

should answer yes, no questions, he should answer " wh " questions, etc. Boone

has about 10 pages of this type of stuff.

> is nonverbal at home but the school says he talks to them there

Apparently Boone is chatterbox at school too. I think it's because he has to

talk there. We *try* to do that here, but it doesn't always happen,

especially if we know what he wants.

> I really don't like saying this but I am going to say it to the group.

> My feelings on .

> I don't think that he should be at school. To me he needs a one-on-one

> worker who can help him learn the basics of life----like how to take a

bath

> on his own, how to eat by himself, how to ask for things he wants with out

> screaming, how to get dressed and use the toilet, how to due up a coat and

> running shoes, how to brush his teeth, I have been trying to teach him

this

> for 10 years and he is not getting it.

Lori,

A lot of these things are learned by seeing other model acceptable

behaviors. Boone would eat if left in a room with food, no doubt in my mind.

But there's little else he would do if it were not modeled for him.

JMHO

Hopefully, some others will have suggestions too.

Sissi

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> OK, this is what the school has down for his strengths.

> is happy at school

Well that's a plus

> enjoys solitary activities

Great, lets see if he can enjoy some interactive activities

> follows directions with assistance

Super! More work on that would be a plus

> developing some independence in daily living skills

Also great. Sounds like those need to be really expanded upon

though. He sounds like his skills are greatly below even his

intellectual age so pushing for lifeskills would be high on my list

too.

> easily adapt to classroom routines and transitions

> enjoys being physically active

Those are both great and certainly helps make some things less

difficult.

>

> Needs

> to increase functional numeracy skills no idea what this means

It means he needs to be able to count things, eventually be able to

count money, tell time, measure for cooking, that sort of stuff

> to increase functional literacy skills again I have no idea

This means they want for him to be able to read a bus sign, a

recipie, directions for medicine, directions for a game possible or a

tv guide. Being able to read enough to get around in our world so he

can walk into a BK and order french fries from the menu or a

chocolate shake.

> to improve fine motor skills

Yeah, those take time and often boring exercises, BUT we figured out

that some of Chris's fine motor skills problems were not just from

muscle tone but also motor planning and visual spatial problems. For

motor planning there are lots of FUN things that can be done, like

puzzles and swinging on a tire swing, and walking on the sidewalk

edge (balance beam).

> to continue to acquire social skills

Fine, so lets be a little more specific....taking turns, eye contact,

what skills do you feel are the most important right now for him?

Is there something specific that if he could be better at it would

make a big difference? Can he ask for what he wants? Can he ask for

help? Those two skills make a BIG impact in further skill development.

> to improve daily living skills

Which ones? Pick some specific skills to focus on.

>

> is nonverbal at home but the school says he talks to them there

Hmmm, okay, what is he saying? Does he have specific words? How can

you intergrate school performance with home? The word the school

often uses is generalization. He needs to be able to generalize the

skill which means that he can do the same thing in different settings.

>

>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

> I really don't like saying this but I am going to say it to the

group.

> My feelings on .

> I don't think that he should be at school. To me he needs a one-on-

one

> worker who can help him learn the basics of life----like how to

take a bath

> on his own, how to eat by himself, how to ask for things he wants

with out

> screaming, how to get dressed and use the toilet, how to due up a

coat and

> running shoes, how to brush his teeth, I have been trying to teach

him this

> for 10 years and he is not getting it. Yes he does pee on the

toilet but he

> does not eat by himself useless I stand over him and tell him to

jab with

> his fork or push the spoon in to the potatoes.

> Two years ago I tried something with . I put him in his room

with all

> the food that he likes and that we were having for supper. Guess

what

> happened....he never touched anything and he was in there for 1

hour while

> we had our supper. I went in to check on him and nothing was

touched. So I

> brought him out and warmed up his supper and feed him. He does not

touch any

> food of any kind unless I stand over him and tell him to eat.

> This is a problem I am having at school, they say they don't have

the time

> or the right to make him eat.

Wrong. Eating food is a life skill. He needs to be able to eat

independantly and it can be built into his IEP. For not eating

is related to his disability and his lack of lifeskills. Not eating

is NOT a CHOICE that he is making, but a LACK of skills.

> is I think very good at math has long has he has his counters.

Ideally he will be able to move past using counters for essential

skills. A longer term goal after attaining a specific math skill

could be to phase out using the counters or prompts.

> he is just starting to recognize words but only like 3

Three is a start. He uses pic sims them I presume? Does he use sign

language? For learning to speak was like learning a foreign

language, except that the concept of language it's self was foreign.

He made no association between the sound that came out of people's

mouth's and their behavior. Communication on a verbal level was

utterly unknown to him. We basically used bahavioral training to get

him to label about twenty things that were important to him. He

learned one at a time with great effort, but every time he said one

of those words, like cookie, coke, or grape for example he

instantly received that item, even at two in the stinking morning.

This was not a fast process, and honestly rather a long ordeal, but

We were fortunate and it was like in the Helen Keller story where

literally he made the connection between labels and things and the

power of words to get his wants. Every kid is different, but that's

what worked for Chris.

> he likes doing puzzles, but he hates any thing to with writing or

coloring.

> He does not like to hold a pencil.

does not like crayons because of the way they feel on paper.

He likes felt tip markers on smooth paper, not construction paper.

He likes pens with roller ball tips becasue they glide easily over

the paper. Writing is a laborious process that he avoids. If school

work requires more than a sentance he uses a keyboard. WIth a

keyboard he is able to get his thoughts out onto paper and not focus

on the physical process of writing. He also uses shaped pen and

pencil grips that I buy at office supply stores or specially shaped

pens that are designed for arthritic hands. Works so much better.

> He can not peddle a bike and he is not that good at running. He has

no

> muscle strength in his body. He is a bone rack, looks like a tooth

pick.

>

Swimming? Gentle resistance training to build up strength? Does he

like music? Exercise dancing? Playing a drum? If he has very low

muscle tone than Physical Therapy could be something he is eligible

for as well as the Occupational Therapy for the fine motor skills.

Best of luck Lori. :-) I hope some of this might have an idea or

two you find useful.

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Thanks Sissi, Penny and Jacquie H. I printed out each of your suggestion and

I will start making notes to see what I can get the school to start for him.

>

> He needs to identify numbers and letters. Flash cards are a great way to

> start. Try saying them to him and giving a treat (an M & M or something)

when

> he gets them right.

The thing with this is 's knows his numbers up to 100 in any order and

he knows his letters in any order, he has known his numbers, letters and

shapes before he started Kindergaden. The teacher was impressed with how

much he know over the so called normal kids in the class.

>

> > to improve fine motor skills

>

> This is an occupational therapy issue. He will need for the school to

> provide this. You can also seek OT sefices in the communtiy. Does your

> insurance cover this?

Yes I have extra insurance but there is no place around here that will take

him on.

>

> > to continue to acquire social skills

> > to improve daily living skills

>

> They can certainly help with this.

> The IEP should outline spcific goals to acquire these skills. It should

say

> " will interact ina socailly appropriate manner (in specific

situations)

> 8 out of 10 times.

>

> There should be numerous goals which will promote social interaction. He

> should answer yes, no questions, he should answer " wh " questions, etc.

Boone

> has about 10 pages of this type of stuff.

>

>

> > is nonverbal at home but the school says he talks to them there

>

> Apparently Boone is chatterbox at school too. I think it's because he has

to

> talk there. We *try* to do that here, but it doesn't always happen,

> especially if we know what he wants.

>

> > I really don't like saying this but I am going to say it to the group.

> > My feelings on .

> > I don't think that he should be at school. To me he needs a one-on-one

> > worker who can help him learn the basics of life----like how to take a

> bath

> > on his own, how to eat by himself, how to ask for things he wants with

out

> > screaming, how to get dressed and use the toilet, how to due up a coat

and

> > running shoes, how to brush his teeth, I have been trying to teach him

> this

> > for 10 years and he is not getting it.

>

> Lori,

>

> A lot of these things are learned by seeing other model acceptable

> behaviors. Boone would eat if left in a room with food, no doubt in my

mind.

> But there's little else he would do if it were not modeled for him.

Everything in this house is modeled to over and over again but for some

reason any thng that has to do with social he will not repeat. He does try

to repeat games we play or things we say but when it comes to playing with

someone else he won't even try it.

>

> JMHO

Please tell me what this means JMHO

> Hopefully, some others will have suggestions too.

>

> Sissi

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

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, Thanks, this is a lot of helpful things. does swim every

Friday for 2 hours. He has been doing this for the last 4 years, he is not

getting any better. His instructor can not understand why he is not

improving.

I have printed out your reply and I am going to be working on trying to put

something together for school on Tuesday.

Lori

Re: I am such a mess

>

> > OK, this is what the school has down for his strengths.

> > is happy at school

>

> Well that's a plus

>

> > enjoys solitary activities

>

> Great, lets see if he can enjoy some interactive activities

>

> > follows directions with assistance

>

> Super! More work on that would be a plus

>

> > developing some independence in daily living skills

>

> Also great. Sounds like those need to be really expanded upon

> though. He sounds like his skills are greatly below even his

> intellectual age so pushing for lifeskills would be high on my list

> too.

>

> > easily adapt to classroom routines and transitions

> > enjoys being physically active

>

> Those are both great and certainly helps make some things less

> difficult.

> >

> > Needs

> > to increase functional numeracy skills no idea what this means

>

> It means he needs to be able to count things, eventually be able to

> count money, tell time, measure for cooking, that sort of stuff

>

> > to increase functional literacy skills again I have no idea

>

> This means they want for him to be able to read a bus sign, a

> recipie, directions for medicine, directions for a game possible or a

> tv guide. Being able to read enough to get around in our world so he

> can walk into a BK and order french fries from the menu or a

> chocolate shake.

>

> > to improve fine motor skills

>

> Yeah, those take time and often boring exercises, BUT we figured out

> that some of Chris's fine motor skills problems were not just from

> muscle tone but also motor planning and visual spatial problems. For

> motor planning there are lots of FUN things that can be done, like

> puzzles and swinging on a tire swing, and walking on the sidewalk

> edge (balance beam).

>

> > to continue to acquire social skills

>

> Fine, so lets be a little more specific....taking turns, eye contact,

> what skills do you feel are the most important right now for him?

> Is there something specific that if he could be better at it would

> make a big difference? Can he ask for what he wants? Can he ask for

> help? Those two skills make a BIG impact in further skill development.

>

> > to improve daily living skills

>

> Which ones? Pick some specific skills to focus on.

> >

> > is nonverbal at home but the school says he talks to them there

>

> Hmmm, okay, what is he saying? Does he have specific words? How can

> you intergrate school performance with home? The word the school

> often uses is generalization. He needs to be able to generalize the

> skill which means that he can do the same thing in different settings.

> >

> >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

> > I really don't like saying this but I am going to say it to the

> group.

> > My feelings on .

> > I don't think that he should be at school. To me he needs a one-on-

> one

> > worker who can help him learn the basics of life----like how to

> take a bath

> > on his own, how to eat by himself, how to ask for things he wants

> with out

> > screaming, how to get dressed and use the toilet, how to due up a

> coat and

> > running shoes, how to brush his teeth, I have been trying to teach

> him this

> > for 10 years and he is not getting it. Yes he does pee on the

> toilet but he

> > does not eat by himself useless I stand over him and tell him to

> jab with

> > his fork or push the spoon in to the potatoes.

> > Two years ago I tried something with . I put him in his room

> with all

> > the food that he likes and that we were having for supper. Guess

> what

> > happened....he never touched anything and he was in there for 1

> hour while

> > we had our supper. I went in to check on him and nothing was

> touched. So I

> > brought him out and warmed up his supper and feed him. He does not

> touch any

> > food of any kind unless I stand over him and tell him to eat.

> > This is a problem I am having at school, they say they don't have

> the time

> > or the right to make him eat.

>

> Wrong. Eating food is a life skill. He needs to be able to eat

> independantly and it can be built into his IEP. For not eating

> is related to his disability and his lack of lifeskills. Not eating

> is NOT a CHOICE that he is making, but a LACK of skills.

>

> > is I think very good at math has long has he has his counters.

>

> Ideally he will be able to move past using counters for essential

> skills. A longer term goal after attaining a specific math skill

> could be to phase out using the counters or prompts.

>

> > he is just starting to recognize words but only like 3

>

> Three is a start. He uses pic sims them I presume? Does he use sign

> language? For learning to speak was like learning a foreign

> language, except that the concept of language it's self was foreign.

> He made no association between the sound that came out of people's

> mouth's and their behavior. Communication on a verbal level was

> utterly unknown to him. We basically used bahavioral training to get

> him to label about twenty things that were important to him. He

> learned one at a time with great effort, but every time he said one

> of those words, like cookie, coke, or grape for example he

> instantly received that item, even at two in the stinking morning.

> This was not a fast process, and honestly rather a long ordeal, but

> We were fortunate and it was like in the Helen Keller story where

> literally he made the connection between labels and things and the

> power of words to get his wants. Every kid is different, but that's

> what worked for Chris.

>

> > he likes doing puzzles, but he hates any thing to with writing or

> coloring.

> > He does not like to hold a pencil.

>

> does not like crayons because of the way they feel on paper.

> He likes felt tip markers on smooth paper, not construction paper.

> He likes pens with roller ball tips becasue they glide easily over

> the paper. Writing is a laborious process that he avoids. If school

> work requires more than a sentance he uses a keyboard. WIth a

> keyboard he is able to get his thoughts out onto paper and not focus

> on the physical process of writing. He also uses shaped pen and

> pencil grips that I buy at office supply stores or specially shaped

> pens that are designed for arthritic hands. Works so much better.

>

> > He can not peddle a bike and he is not that good at running. He has

> no

> > muscle strength in his body. He is a bone rack, looks like a tooth

> pick.

> >

> Swimming? Gentle resistance training to build up strength? Does he

> like music? Exercise dancing? Playing a drum? If he has very low

> muscle tone than Physical Therapy could be something he is eligible

> for as well as the Occupational Therapy for the fine motor skills.

>

> Best of luck Lori. :-) I hope some of this might have an idea or

> two you find useful.

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

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I am an early childhood special ed teacher, not employed this year

due to a recent move and wanting to give my kids all that they need

due to the transistion, before giving anyone elses kids all I can.

If you have ANY questions regarding IEP, goals anything at all I

would be thrilled to help any of you. > >

> > Needs

> > to increase functional numeracy skills no idea what this means

> > to increase functional literacy skills again I have no idea

>

> He needs to identify numbers and letters. Flash cards are a great

way to

> start. Try saying them to him and giving a treat (an M & M or

something) when

> he gets them right.

>

This can be receptively ( you asking him to point to the number,

letter, shape, object etc....) He needs/wants to be sucessful just as

much you do.

Hang in there...

Amy mom to

Noah 6 Autism

Lucas almost 8 ADHD HFA

Early childhood special ed

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